Thai insensitivity continues..

[winstonc]

Calling someone fat isn't exactly an insult here.

Luckily enough Thais speak honestly. If someone they know has gotten fat, they will tell oh, you are fat. Fat people are nicknamed Moo (pig) for crying out loud.

Delicate PC Westerners.

thais speak honestly....hahahahahaha .... ...calling someone fat isnt nice though is it...

[NewlyMintedThai]

In your culture, perhaps.

Here, not so much.

Sent from my iPhone using ThaiVisa app

[GirlDrinkDrunk]

Yes there is much insensitivity here.

The other day on an elevator, some Thais holding a very chubby and shall I say UGLY baby. The baby is looking at me. I am smiling at the baby trying to be a sport.

The baby starts crying. Oh well!

The Thais then start insulting me: calling me fat (in Thai), calling me UGLY (in English).

Wow.

Yes I know Thais call people fat all the time but this was malicious.

It's like being regarded as a thing with absolutely no feelings.

perhaps its time to reconsider the diet strategy.

I get told i am fat by friends and workmates (thai), but i tend to fluctuate 2 to 3 kilos around a typical weight of abot 72 kg.

never been called fat by a stranger thats for sure.

besides, fat is not an insult. stupid on the other hand ....

[Nautilus05]

I think we, in our Western world of political correctness, have become over sensitised to perceived 'insults' when they are often in fact merely ingenuous observations from people who don't see it as derogatory to state the obvious.

No. I hate when Westerners just shrug their shoulders at this stuff, and pass it off as cultural differences. No, it's just bloody rude.

I bet if I started wandering around the streets, telling random people they're fat, they'd be quite insulted, and rightfully so. Nothing to do with culture. It's simply rude. I'm not fat myself, but I do have manners, and am not about to point out the fat guy in the pool.

Edited October 20, 2013 by Nautilus05

[playbgnow]

The circle continues.

When our reactions fuel what we detest we become what we wish not to be. Be the change you want.

[sangfroid]

What else can you expect? many of these people are uneducated with a healthy dash of xenophobia mixed in. I said many...not all

[HUAHIN62]

The question is are you white and are you fat? If yes she may have been inpolite but spoke the truth.

[yingyo]

What else can you expect? many of these people are uneducated with a healthy dash of xenophobia mixed in. I said many...not all

Yeah, I don't think that she should have responed the low class and nasty way that she did.

Edited October 20, 2013 by yingyo

[Scottish Thailander]

Yes there is much insensitivity here.

The other day on an elevator, some Thais holding a very chubby and shall I say UGLY baby. The baby is looking at me. I am smiling at the baby trying to be a sport.

The baby starts crying. Oh well!

The Thais then start insulting me: calling me fat (in Thai), calling me UGLY (in English).

Wow.

Yes I know Thais call people fat all the time but this was malicious.

It's like being regarded as a thing with absolutely no feelings.

Don't worry about it. The only thing they got left is that most of them are slim so they call everybody fat. Besides I dont know when they are going to notice that they are not slim because they are in good shape but they are simply skinny fat so they should just stay quiet.

?????????what the jumpin jehosafat is "skinny fat"? Am I missing something here?

Yes, you are missing something. Skinny fat example quote FYI:-

"The common wisdom is that if you are overweight you are unhealthy, and if you are thin, you are healthy. But new research points to just how dangerous being skinny can be -- if you are a "skinny fat" person, that is.

The medical term for this is "MONW," or metabolically obese normal weight, which many prefer to refer to as being a skinny fat person. It means you are under lean but over fat -- not enough muscle and too much fat (especially belly fat). It seems it is better to be fat and fit than thin and out of shape.

While we know that 68 percent of the American population is overweight, and that most have diabesity -- being somewhere on the continuum of pre-diabetes to Type 2 diabetes -- the shocking news from a study published in the Journal of the American Medical Association is that nearly 1 in 4 skinny people have pre-diabetes and are "metabolically obese."

What's worse is that if you are a skinny fat person and get diagnosed with diabetes, you have twice the risk of death than if you are overweight when diagnosed with diabetes."

Mark Hyman, MD

References:

Carnethon MR, De Chavez PJ, Biggs ML, Lewis CE, Pankow JS, Bertoni AG, Golden SH, Liu K, Mukamal KJ, Campbell-Jenkins B, Dyer AR. Association of weight status with mortality in adults with incident diabetes. JAMA. 2012 Aug 8;308(6):581-90.

Ribeiro JP, Schaan BD. Physical activity advice only or structured exercise training and association with HbA1c levels in type 2 diabetes: a systematic review and meta-analysis. JAMA. 2011 May 4;305(17):1790-9. Review.

Mark Hyman, M.D. is a practicing physician, founder of The UltraWellness Center, a four-time New York Times bestselling author, and an international leader in the field of Functional Medicine.

[minikev]

Thai's are definitely more direct and less insulted by labeling IE Moo, Ooan common nicknames for overweight people, no malice just an accurate description, also accepted by the overweight as a nickname since they were young(probably) My wife calls me Ooan as a pet name.

However if the OP's wife reacted in this way it was probably used in a derogatory manner. I have heard my daughter use the term Yak khou and Yak dam in an unpleasant way and have corrected her and taught her not to use these terms as they are hurtful.

[NewlyMintedThai]

It's not exactly "polite", but it's not exactly the same as calling someone a fat monitor lizard or a f***ing lard ass.

OP is too thin-skinned, and so is his ill-mannered companion.

[ChoakMyDee]

I'm not worried. I've encountered that group before and noticed how vulgar they are. My feelings can't be hurt by people I don't respect. I didn't react at all except to smile actually at how idiotic they were. Their baby is definitely going to be an obese child. I'm sad for him about that but he's stuck with limited intelligence parents. Such is fate. Can't be helped.

Oscar Wilde said something along the lines of being nice to ones enemies and they will just hate it. I try to smile and ignore the other parties crudeness. It worked at the market one day when I caught the vendor trying to cheat me. The more she screamed, the bigger my smile got. She was furious and I left smiling, empty handed but pockets still holding my money. It does work, but takes practice to keep cool.

Post of the day! Kill them with kindness and smiles.

[salapau]

Interesting. Thais can slag off anyone but find it impossible to accept it back. Well done to your wife. I love one of the comments made " I can diet if I want, there's nothing you can do about you being ugly. "

[BuriramRes]

Easy answer.

I can lose the fat.

You can't stop being ugly.

Where have I heard that before? A la Churchill who retorted:

Madam you are ugly, and tomorrow I'll be sober (in answer to a lady saying: "Mr Churchill, you're drunk").

Edited October 20, 2013 by BuriramRes

[DrTuner]

How to respond to insults from Thais ? Well, if you're well versed in martial arts, you might try "I might be ugly and fat, but at least I'm not Thai". That ought to result in some exercise.

[Cuban]

There are ways and means in these things.

It is easy to respond in kind which means you are dragged down to the level of play-ground exchange of insults, as farang you should aspire to play a different game that so out wits the Thai (who is used to getting a reflected insult in return it makes no difference) that you both "win" and leave them speechless.

The last time in Thailand I did this was on a crowded late night train out of Khon Kaen, a similar robust women and one child occupied four seats (I am the only farang in the carriage - probably the train) and none of that standing Thais would attempt to take a seat there. (I've secured seats for my wife and kids together elsewhere in the carriage so I can play the dumb farang and sit down.) All hell breaks loose with much swearing and ticket waving. The ticket inspector comes along and agrees my ticket is not for that seat but my seat "somewhere else" on this very full train will be occupied by someone else so he moves on.

Some 45 minute letter my station arrives and I alight, taking just a moment to point out to the mother/grandmother the child seems to have a cancerous growth as his head does not look right, I get through in broekn Thai.

Sows a seed of mental doubt that will out weight the barrage of abuse I had for taking an empty seat. I win.

[HeavyDrinker]

It's not exactly "polite", but it's not exactly the same as calling someone a fat monitor lizard or a f***ing lard ass.

OP is too thin-skinned, and so is his ill-mannered companion.

I'm confused. So is making a personal comment about someone in front of their other half who understands the language rude or not?

If some old lady made an opprobrious comment about your wife in your native land in your native tongue, would that be offensive to you? Would you in react the same way as the OP's wife (who you are making wild surmises about), or just ignore it as you seem to think she should have done?

[NewlyMintedThai]

"Understanding the language" does not equate to classy.

Responding to poor behavior with even worse behavior is definitely not the way I was brought up.

I probably would have looked directly at the old lady and winked at her.

[ChoakMyDee]

There is a lot of jealousy in Thailand as I've learned after being here for a while. This jealousy shows up in subtle ways and, as the OP found out, not so subtle ways. The old bag is unhappy with her life, she sees a happy farang+Thai family and she just has to say something negative about you to make herself feel better. These people are small-minded and don't deserve any of your time...getting angry at them is giving them time. Just ignore them and move on. My 2 cents.

[yingyo]

Just turn and ask them where are their manners. 'Marayat pai nai?'

Or to their companion 'Mun mai mee marayat lor, Khon Kampucha put mai dee'. With a shake of the head.

Then run.

Edited October 20, 2013 by yingyo

[NewlyMintedThai]

What do you have against Cambodians?

[RoyEngland]

A lot of good responses. It's good to see I'm not the only one who'd like to see a little bit of revenge.

Thais seem to call each other moo, ling nit etc etc as a way of being funny and cheeky for larking around.. but I think this old lady wasn't trying to be funny or pleasant just mean. I've had a few problems and if she hears them and I dont she'd tell them watch their mouth(if out of line).. and I would just simply smile

The odd time If a thai guy trys be cheeky I pat him on the head with a smile. They all seem to laugh in the end.. it's a nice little reminder to let them know they are on the small side.. but saying that I get on with most people and showing them you've got manners first is a big step, but some times we all have our off days and a pat on the head cheers the devil in me up.

No ones a saint all the time, but a smile or a wink goes a long way.

[foxboy]

I think we, in our Western world of political correctness, have become over sensitised to perceived 'insults' when they are often in fact merely ingenuous observations from people who don't see it as derogatory to state the obvious.

No. I hate when Westerners just shrug their shoulders at this stuff, and pass it off as cultural differences. No, it's just bloody rude.

I bet if I started wandering around the streets, telling random people they're fat, they'd be quite insulted, and rightfully so. Nothing to do with culture. It's simply rude. I'm not fat myself, but I do have manners, and am not about to point out the fat guy in the pool.

How can it be anything but 'cultural differences' if they see it as acceptable and we don't?

I'm pretty sure you will inadvertently insult Thais from time to time and they will shrug it off because you obviously don't know better.... so why can't you?

Imagine how full the equivalent Thai forum would be if they had to detail all the insults and rude behaviour from visiting farangs

[shaurene]

Your wife was a gree and she stood up for you, we'll done on her, and she was right, give her a kiss and thank her, not condemn her for some thing Thais would do to protect their family, which includes you.

I am a bit angry at you for saying she was wrong, When in Rome Mate.

[shaurene]

There are ways and means in these things.

It is easy to respond in kind which means you are dragged down to the level of play-ground exchange of insults, as farang you should aspire to play a different game that so out wits the Thai (who is used to getting a reflected insult in return it makes no difference) that you both "win" and leave them speechless.

The last time in Thailand I did this was on a crowded late night train out of Khon Kaen, a similar robust women and one child occupied four seats (I am the only farang in the carriage - probably the train) and none of that standing Thais would attempt to take a seat there. (I've secured seats for my wife and kids together elsewhere in the carriage so I can play the dumb farang and sit down.) All hell breaks loose with much swearing and ticket waving. The ticket inspector comes along and agrees my ticket is not for that seat but my seat "somewhere else" on this very full train will be occupied by someone else so he moves on.

Some 45 minute letter my station arrives and I alight, taking just a moment to point out to the mother/grandmother the child seems to have a cancerous growth as his head does not look right, I get through in broekn Thai.

Sows a seed of mental doubt that will out weight the barrage of abuse I had for taking an empty seat. I win.

Bull S*^*. World famous saying, "Do onto others what they do onto you" or "Treat people the way they treat you" or "Talk to people the way you talk to them" it works, I do it.

[yingyo]

What do you have against Cambodians?

Me? None.

But calling a Thai one in a verbal exchange is sure to get them, shall we say, a bit hot under the collar.

[yingyo]

I'm pretty sure you will inadvertently insult Thais from time to time and they will shrug it off because you obviously don't know better....

Absolutely, you see this on a daily basis in interactions betweens Thais and farangs.

Fortunately the Thais have the common sense and inner logic to let it roll smoothly.

It would be a very ugly country if Thais got upset at every farang that did something culturally insensitive. Farangs usually don't bother learning anything about, or respecting what they do learn about Thai culture, they usually just shrug it off as something stupid as it is not how they were raised to do things so they're not going to do it here. Fortunately Thais understand the pigheaded nature and just laugh at the stupidity.

Edited October 20, 2013 by yingyo

[Nautilus05]

How can it be anything but 'cultural differences' if they see it as acceptable and we don't?

It's not acceptable here. What do you think would happen if either of us went wandering around, calling random strangers fat? We'd probably end up with a broken nose within a few hours.

[foxboy]

How can it be anything but 'cultural differences' if they see it as acceptable and we don't?

It's not acceptable here. What do you think would happen if either of us went wandering around, calling random strangers fat? We'd probably end up with a broken nose within a few hours.

you really don't get it do you?

let's just agree to disagree

[kurnell]

Regardless of whether the OP is fat/ugly whatever, I have seldom seen a Thai that does not think they are stunningly attractive. Stand a Thai in front of a mirror and they will check themselves out for hours, mentally wondering who that stunner is looking back at them in the mirror.