Thai editorial: A shameful silence on domestic abuse

[webfact]

EDITORIAL
A shameful silence on domestic abuse
The Nation

Headlines made by the revenge murder of an abuser hide a deeper problem in Thai society

BANGKOK: -- It's a heartbreaking story, like something from a soap opera: A woman masterminds the murder of her violent son-in-law to get him out of her daughter's life. The headline-churning murder of Jakkirt "X" Panichpatikum has peaked in dramatic fashion with the admission by Surang Duangchinda, 72, that she hired a gunman to kill her son-in-law because he repeatedly abused her daughter. But behind the headlines, it's the "sub-plot" that deserves more attention - violence breeding violence.

Jakkirt's widow, Dr Nitiwadee Pucharoenyos, appeared before the media with a tearful plea for society to learn from the case. "My family has fallen apart, and I want to ask all strong men out there to help stop violence against women," she said. Soon after, her mother turned herself in.

Surang said her only motivation for the murder was her inability to endure Jakkirt's repeated assaults on her daughter. Nitiwadee might have lost the couple's expected third child after one such beating.

But, however bad the violence, Surang had no right to pronounce a death penalty of her own on Jakkirt.

If this sad case can contribute anything to society, it is to bring the issue of domestic violence out into the public domain. Keeping it hidden causes suffering to women in all walks of life.

The alarming fact is that an instance of domestic violence is reported every 20 seconds in Thailand on average. The UN reported in 2005 that 44 per cent of women in Thailand had experienced physical or sexual violence by a partner. Meanwhile 23,000 children and women victims of domestic abuse have been admitted to medical facilities annually since 2007, again on average. These figures are undoubtedly the "tip of the iceberg", failing to reflect the punishment inflicted on a "silent majority" of women who choose not to report such incidents.

Despite legislation - the Protection of Victims of Domestic Violence Act of 2007 - we still have a mountain to climb when it comes to eradicating the abuse of women. The legal framework is not a quick fix, while the hazy definition of "domestic violence" presents another obstacle. Some victims duly show police their marks of physical abuse, but others have only mental scars, making it difficult for them to gain legal assistance.

And then there is the matter of stigma. It blackens the victims of domestic abuse more than any other violent crime, and thus demands greater courage to call in the police. Being a beaten wife or girlfriend is still too often considered shameful. So some victims are too ashamed to seek help and must then live in a "prison" of brutality at home.

Meanwhile the police sometimes dismiss such cases as private matters. Those brave enough to step forward see no further action taken.

All of this explains why violence against women so often is a silent evil. The public only hears about it when celebrities are involved.

Women's-rights activists and the pertinent government agencies are well aware of the problems and realise the answer lies in more cooperation with the police, lawyers, doctors, psychologists and, most importantly, the offenders themselves.

Before this can happen, women must be willing to stand up and condemn the violence. Their fight can be exhausting, but the victims must speak out to prevent it from continuing and escalating. Nitiwadee set an example as a victim who had exhausted all legal means and opted to speak out.

In a desperate situation, her mother made a different choice, but attempting to end violence with yet more violence is not the solution to the evil of domestic abuse.


-- The Nation 2013-11-13

[huanga]

Thais need to be educated about this issue and not brainwashed by the daily TV dramas that depict men slapping women is OK. Series of small steps will eventually lead to change.

[yooper2001]

This story is not only about abuse but it is also about the disrespect of thai man against women. Thailand is a mans society and thai women are considered second class.

I know many examples of A thai man will have a baby with a young lady and leave her for another lady and not pay for support. The lady will have few options to find work to support her child.

The woman has almost zero chance to marry with another thai man because he will not want to take care of some other mans baby. So she has to look for a foreign man or forget about marriage.

Thai lawyers are the most inept in the world as they cannot litigate this for reasonable support help to raise the child.

[Local Drunk]

Wow! This is not as cut and dry as to say "Thai men rule" and anyone that does say that is seriously underestimating Thai women. Thai men play around, but Thai women play for keeps.

[kurnell]

Thai are farked in the head. That's it, I'm leaving!

[allan michaud]

Thais need to be educated about this issue and not brainwashed by the daily TV dramas that depict men slapping women is OK. Series of small steps will eventually lead to change.

Agreed, I do think Thai TV has a lot to answer for. A theme that has been repeated on more than one occasion is of a boy/man that fancies some girl and rapes her. Later he is portrayed as a good guy and eventually the girl falls for him and they live happily ever after... The average Thai seems to believe just about anything they see on TV and I firmly believe these soap operas and the violence they portray play a significant part in Thailand's seemingly increasing violent society.

[nigelnigel]

You would not believe how many females I meet that tell me, "my husband thai boxing me"...It makes me sick. One time in Phayao as I was eating at a roadside stall in the city I see 2 guys and 2 girls arguing. The guy starts slapping the girl around, jumps on top of her and keeps hitting her in the face. I said <deleted> that and went over to stop it. The other girl starts pushing me back as if to say..."hey, let's keep it going..there is nothing wrong here,, this is normal". What was I supposed to do? Push her out of the way to stop the assault?

I turned and looked at everyone just staring at it and doing nothing. I went off a bit on how F'd they all were just standing there and letting this sh*t keep going on now and in society in general.

1st: Thai society doesn't care

2nd: It's perfectly acceptable for men to treat women as subordinates...or less...here.

[Larry001]

Agree with every previous article. This society simply has huge problems, but the Govt and Police turn a blind eye.Its been an education living here for many years. Makes you aware of how LOS is such a fraud. Unfortunately, most tourists do not see or hear of this side of Thailand. If they did tourism would suffer and only then would officials do something

[soi41]

What the OP doesn't mentioned is the fact, that the two women in the highprofilecase (wife and MIL) actually reported the abuse to the police. To no avail, as the perpetrator ofcourse was released on bail by a defunctional Thai "justice" system!

Not exactly a carrot for other abused women to be brave enough to report their abusers.

Beaten by their partners and failed by the system!!

And sadly, this is not only in Thailand!

[verywierd]

And what about TV dramas showing women slapping and hitting men simply for annoying them? Why is that acceptable or even funny?

[Loles]

this is a TERRIBLE thing in Thailand which I can't accept at all.

Many many idiot live here and they call them daddy or husband, but they are simple animals.

One of them has got his penalty, don't cry for him at all.

Sometime the life is fair, but more times is not.

[Loles]

And what about TV dramas showing women slapping and hitting men simply for annoying them? Why is that acceptable or even funny?

Yes, you are 100% right. These idiot daily soap moves teach the people to violence, cheating and other impolite things. The new generations are growing up on them. Other way they are so surprised when the young school boys (and girls too) fight all the times and kill each other and innocent pedestrians also.

[samjaidee]

Thai are farked in the head. That's it, I'm leaving!

Goodbye. Send us a postcard.

[kurnell]

Thai are farked in the head. That's it, I'm leaving!

Goodbye. Send us a postcard.

Would you like a key ring also?

[Mystery]

I have lived in Thailand for 9 years and seen many examples of domestic violence, having also come from England where'd I'd witnessed and even been subjected to it myself!

Yes some Thai men are brutes, and so are some English, but some Thai and English men are also wonderful. To put this all at the feet of the men is unfair to say the least, and it has been shown in England, that abuse of men is also a huge issue, if not worse in some ways if it could ever be said, cos whilst awful for anyone to admit being abused, fractionally harder for a man to admit being abused by woman.

Now onto Thai issue - the women here work it like you wouldn't believe, I've never seen women work it like this in England, quite the specialists! But then some of them certainly do have to be, having left desperate situations and with no welfare state to fall back on like our women in England, CPS, however slow it sometimes works, helps women in England force men to support them. I know a lady, it took 18 years, but eventually her son got a massive payout for years of no support.

Now - back to Thai issue - how to you squeeze blood out of a stone?! If the man has no money or prospects, how on earth is is supposed to provide for these ever greedier Thai women? Not all of them, but I've seen so many just take take take, from both Thai and Western men, it's never enough, it's NOT for the kids, and it's just greedy - there's a feeling that the man should somehow give everything to her and she do nothing but sit on her laurels being a woman - it's lame to say the least.

Then there's the Thai guys that do the same, refuse to work, refuse to take initiative, lame lame lame - and so you get these wonderful hard working Thai's in between, the women with the wonderful successful children they've raised despite no support from husband - I know men in Thailand that are raising their kids having been abandoned by their wives who would rather seek a more luxurious lifestyle with a Western man in a bar in Pattaya.

Women (and men) treat babies abysmally - have you seen the pinching and teasing and general pushing them to their absolute limits til they cry behaviour - I mean its barbaric - why would you do that to a child?! And so they do it to each other and animals and all around them this behaviour is witnessed and perpetuated!

I think therefore in conclusion that the problem is throughout Thai society and far too complicated to simply single out male abuse against females and children, men and women and children ALL need to learn to treat each other with more respect - although I am by no means lessoning the issue of domestic violence against women originally addressed by the article here above, the abuse that goes on there is sickening to say the least and the whole of society, not just the victims, need to stand up and say 'it's not ok'! (And by respect I don't mean the silence that you're met with from children as an adult just cos you're an adult, children also desperately need to be taught to speak up for themselves in this country, they're taught to follow and say krub and that's it, they need to learn to think and make decisions on whether this adult might be doing something bad that they can protest about)

And yes I completely agree that the Thai TV series could really help - considering 90% of the country is addicted to them - but when have we ever seen a business take a risk and challenge society and do something for the greater good rather than financial rewards... It would be wonderful though

Peace and love to all!

[MAJIC]

I have lived in Thailand for 9 years and seen many examples of domestic violence, having also come from England where'd I'd witnessed and even been subjected to it myself!

Yes some Thai men are brutes, and so are some English, but some Thai and English men are also wonderful. To put this all at the feet of the men is unfair to say the least, and it has been shown in England, that abuse of men is also a huge issue, if not worse in some ways if it could ever be said, cos whilst awful for anyone to admit being abused, fractionally harder for a man to admit being abused by woman.

Now onto Thai issue - the women here work it like you wouldn't believe, I've never seen women work it like this in England, quite the specialists! But then some of them certainly do have to be, having left desperate situations and with no welfare state to fall back on like our women in England, CPS, however slow it sometimes works, helps women in England force men to support them. I know a lady, it took 18 years, but eventually her son got a massive payout for years of no support.

Now - back to Thai issue - how to you squeeze blood out of a stone?! If the man has no money or prospects, how on earth is is supposed to provide for these ever greedier Thai women? Not all of them, but I've seen so many just take take take, from both Thai and Western men, it's never enough, it's NOT for the kids, and it's just greedy - there's a feeling that the man should somehow give everything to her and she do nothing but sit on her laurels being a woman - it's lame to say the least.

Then there's the Thai guys that do the same, refuse to work, refuse to take initiative, lame lame lame - and so you get these wonderful hard working Thai's in between, the women with the wonderful successful children they've raised despite no support from husband - I know men in Thailand that are raising their kids having been abandoned by their wives who would rather seek a more luxurious lifestyle with a Western man in a bar in Pattaya.

Women (and men) treat babies abysmally - have you seen the pinching and teasing and general pushing them to their absolute limits til they cry behaviour - I mean its barbaric - why would you do that to a child?! And so they do it to each other and animals and all around them this behaviour is witnessed and perpetuated!

I think therefore in conclusion that the problem is throughout Thai society and far too complicated to simply single out male abuse against females and children, men and women and children ALL need to learn to treat each other with more respect - although I am by no means lessoning the issue of domestic violence against women originally addressed by the article here above, the abuse that goes on there is sickening to say the least and the whole of society, not just the victims, need to stand up and say 'it's not ok'! (And by respect I don't mean the silence that you're met with from children as an adult just cos you're an adult, children also desperately need to be taught to speak up for themselves in this country, they're taught to follow and say krub and that's it, they need to learn to think and make decisions on whether this adult might be doing something bad that they can protest about)

And yes I completely agree that the Thai TV series could really help - considering 90% of the country is addicted to them - but when have we ever seen a business take a risk and challenge society and do something for the greater good rather than financial rewards... It would be wonderful though

Peace and love to all!

According to UK Government Statistics in this Newspaper Article, Violence against men by women is 40%,which is much higher than a few years ago.