Custody battles

[JusticeFT96]

This is a purely what if question, a good few times we have had arguments and she being the dramatic over the top thai that she is spurts out quite easily that "OK WE ARE FINISHED I TAKE THE BABY AND YOU NEVER SEE ME AGAIN"

I know that they are pretty much an empty threat however it does get me wondering what if she ever did do this, what would be my options?

Is there pretty much no hope for a farang in thailand to win a custody battle?

I am trying to get them over here to the UK asap so that I wouldnt have to worry about this situation arising but it does make me worry deep down that if this did ever happen I would never see my son again.

Does anyone have any views on this?

Cheers

[JusticeFT96]

Obviously its clear we had a fight tonight and my mind keeps racing thinking about my son. A few times also she has said, take your son, let me be free. I have said fine but I wouldn't spend the money on a return flight there knowing full well she would most likely change her mind once I got there. I would do anything for my son and if I had to give up my life to take care of him full-time I would. If she said this again are there legal documents she could sign to say she gives full custody of the child to me and gives up any rights she has on him?

I know tomorrow she will be saying sorry and I love you etc and we will be talking but if this keeps happening I really want something to make me feel more secure about my sons future.

[Mario2008]

Just like in the UK, you would get into a custody battle and decide who gets the child how many days a week/month. Many foreigners win custody battles in Thailand and are prime caretaker.

You can get a divorce at the amphur in 20 minutes when both agree, at that time you can enter any agreement you like regarding division of assets and who takes care of the child. I would use a good lawyer for that, as it is a legal contract and the wording is important.

[saakura]

In most cases such as your's, the relationship gets progressively worse, so best to end it sooner and avoid more heartbreak when the child is older.

[FiftyTwo]

In the UK she only has to accuse you of domestic violence and you don't see the kid for 3-5 years.

Better off in Thailand, where at least you have a chance, and if she does go, you don't have to keep giving her money.

Been there and done that in both countries.

Thailand is both fairer and cheaper.

Best thing to do, forget the threat ever happened, if she brings it up again make light of it.

Desperation or your part will only encourage the threats, not being bothered and she won't attempt to blackmail you.

I tell mine.

You want the kid, that's great, you take him, you pay for him, saves me money.

You want to leave the kid, I guess I can cope with all the time and expense.

Works every time.

Edited November 23, 2013 by FiftyTwo

[JusticeFT96]

In the UK she only has to accuse you of domestic violence and you don't see the kid for 3-5 years.

Better off in Thailand, where at least you have a chance, and if she does go, you don't have to keep giving her money.

Been there and done that in both countries.

Thailand is both fairer and cheaper.

Best thing to do, forget the threat ever happened, if she brings it up again make light of it.

Desperation or your part will only encourage the threats, not being bothered and she won't attempt to blackmail you.

I tell mine.

You want the kid, that's great, you take him, you pay for him, saves me money.

You want to leave the kid, I guess I can cope with all the time and expense.

Works every time.

lol its been like that a few times, she has said ok I take him and I say ok goodbye have fun looking after him on your own. Then it changes to ok you take him so I can be free.

As expected everything is back to normal this morning but it does get boring, to be honest shes not too bad when she is over here, I guess she has people in her ear over there (INLAWS) filling her head with stupid ideas on how to control me. I always notice that if we have an argument when shes away from her family its more like, we fight, we both get angry and vent, ignore each other for a few hours then its back to normal, when shes over there, we fight, she starts threatening me with all sorts, we dont speak for days then it slowly goes back to normal.

I used to think it was just our relationship that was like this and maybe I really was just some crazy ferang until I read a few of the threads in here last night.

[FiftyTwo]

I used to think it was just our relationship that was like this and maybe I really was just some crazy ferang until I read a few of the threads in here last night.

Sounds normal (for Thailand) to me, don't worry so much.

Edited November 24, 2013 by FiftyTwo

[benalibina]

I used to think it was just our relationship that was like this and maybe I really was just some crazy ferang until I read a few of the threads in here last night.

Sounds normal (for Thailand) to me, don't worry so much.

Surprised by your comment. Looks like he has plenty of reasons to be worried.

[FiftyTwo]

I used to think it was just our relationship that was like this and maybe I really was just some crazy ferang until I read a few of the threads in here last night.

Sounds normal (for Thailand) to me, don't worry so much.

Surprised by your comment. Looks like he has plenty of reasons to be worried.

My wife does it every 3-6 months, bags packed, never gets further than the driveway.

I never worry too much.

Big difference between Thai lady temper tantrum, and Thai lady wanting to leave you.

[JusticeFT96]

So does anyone have any advice about her getting to sign some legal document handing the son over to me if she ever wanted to? Is it even possible?

[FiftyTwo]

if you are married, no agreement between husband and wife is legally binding in Thailand.

if you aren't married, Thailand does not view you as the kids parent, and you have no parental rights.

Edited December 1, 2013 by FiftyTwo

[JusticeFT96]

if you are married, no agreement between husband and wife is legally binding in Thailand.

if you aren't married, Thailand does not view you as the kids parent, and you have no parental rights.

I am married, so there is nothing a lawyer could draw up and she could sign to hand over custody to me?

Could it be done as part of a divorce?

[Mario2008]

As part of a divorce no problem.

I am not sure if a parent can't sign over parental powers while married, it might depend on the circumstances. Better ask a lawyer.

[JusticeFT96]

As part of a divorce no problem.

I am not sure if a parent can't sign over parental powers while married, it might depend on the circumstances. Better ask a lawyer.

Thank you, things have escalated this week and I have just emailed the sponsor of this forum to ask what I can do. Are divorces expensive in Thailand? If she will sign an agreement or something that can show that when I get there I can have my son and his passports and she wont try to blackmail me or refuse to hand him to me I will fly out there the next day.

Is it a common thing for women in Thailand to say they dont want their son and dont want to look after him if we finish? I have known quite a few thai ladies who have just given their son to their mothers to go and work and when they have found someone next even bothered to bring them back. This has all took years off me the last few weeks.

[Mario2008]

An uncontested divorce is done in 20 minutes, for practically free. What the costs are is getting a legal document drafted by a lawyer to both sign and enter upon divorce.

A contested divorce is of course more costly, as that will go before judge and can take a long time with several court appearances.

Who is to say what is common, but in Thailand it is certainly not uncommon that the care of children is left to other family members.

[JusticeFT96]

An uncontested divorce is done in 20 minutes, for practically free. What the costs are is getting a legal document drafted by a lawyer to both sign and enter upon divorce.

A contested divorce is of course more costly, as that will go before judge and can take a long time with several court appearances.

Who is to say what is common, but in Thailand it is certainly not uncommon that the care of children is left to other family members.

Thanks, judging from her messages to me it would be uncontested, I will wait for a reply from this legal service to see what they say, I want to get things moving along quite quickly, would love to have him back here for Christmas, I will update the thread with anything that happens.

Cheers

[FiftyTwo]

As part of a divorce no problem.

I am not sure if a parent can't sign over parental powers while married, it might depend on the circumstances. Better ask a lawyer.

Thank you, things have escalated this week and I have just emailed the sponsor of this forum to ask what I can do. Are divorces expensive in Thailand? If she will sign an agreement or something that can show that when I get there I can have my son and his passports and she wont try to blackmail me or refuse to hand him to me I will fly out there the next day.

Is it a common thing for women in Thailand to say they dont want their son and dont want to look after him if we finish? I have known quite a few thai ladies who have just given their son to their mothers to go and work and when they have found someone next even bothered to bring them back. This has all took years off me the last few weeks.

Divorce with agreement of both parties, about 30bht at Amphur Office.

You each need to take an advisor/friend, yours will need to speak Thai (assuming you don't).

There are spaces on the form for agreed division of assets and responsibilities.

One person can be given 100% custody of the children.

WARNING the custody agreement is unlikely to ever be changed, even by a court, so be careful what you agree.

[JusticeFT96]

Just had a reply from the legal company who sponsor this form, apparently there is a Child Custody Order that is legally binding in both the UK and Thailand.