The Bangkok Banana Thief!

[Hardened Spanker]

It is with a heavy heart that I write this thread.

I came out of my house one day and there they were,my bananas growing on my banana tree in the back garden.I even showed my landlord,a Thai-Chinese Doctor I was so proud of them and he agreed wholeheartedly with me,they were indeed as fine as bunch of bananas as anybody ever did see!

I admired them from afar,being my very first bananas,wanting to nurture them,water them but I thought it best to let nature take its course.They grew and they flourished,as only bananas can and I looked forward to the day when I could pluck those ripe to bursting bananas from my tree and decide what to do with them.So it went on for a good number of months,more and more bunches sprouted on the dangly bit where they grow,I could hardly hide my joy and felt like any proud parent would over my lovely bananas.As they grew more trees sprang up until there were three or four in the same small area but only one of them bore fruit,the original which by this time was leaning over the fence and into the road.

Then one day,I walked out of my house to admire my lovely banana tree in all its glory and that's when I saw it,someone had chopped off the whole bunch form the stalk and they had gone!

So a period of mourning began,I dressed in my finest Black Leo wife-beater and shorts,for that which had been so cruelly and suddenly taken away from me.I wondered if the hole in my heart that had appeared was one that could ever be filled again.I began to look longingly at the bunches in Tops market,wondering what could have been?

No sooner had my darkest hour began that I heard somebody at the door,looking out of my kitchen window there was a lady standing outside the gate,I waved her away as I needed to be left alone in my grief but she persisted.So I went outside to see what she wanted and to my abject horror,spotted the bag of bananas that she'd hung on my gate and was now offering to me!

How could this woman have the gall,the sheer effrontery to be offering me some of my own bananas back,the very same bananas that had been cut down in their prime so recently by this thief in the night?I tried to reason with her,to explain that they were MY bananas,from MY tree,in MY garden but to no avail.She decided at this point that she didn't speak English,despite telling me only a week or two before that her son was a pilot.Maybe he works for Air Asia and that's why they can't afford to buy their own food necessitating stealing their neighbour's bananas,who can possibly ever know?

In the end I had to walk away,threatening to call the Police if she ever dared to steal my bananas again!I only recount this tale now,as a warning to all others as to how badly wrong things can go in The Land of Smiles.
I can only sincerely hope that it never happens to any of you...

[ultimate weapon]

this is really funny!!!!!

[RandomSand]

Oh my bad,,,, or a "slip"

As you were.

Edited December 14, 2013 by RandomSand

[JoeThePoster]

I wonder why that woman just didn't take the bananas and split.

[Neeranam]

I am the proud owner of 3 banana trees. One was given as a house warming present. I am longing for the day I can walk outside into the garden and pluck my own. Any idea how long I have to wait? It won't be as long a wait as I have for my durian. The one year old tree was savagely broken in half by my 45 kg golden retiever. I managed to bandage it and there still is some life. But the seller said I have to wait at least 5 years before it fruits, possibly 10 years.

I bought a banana yesterday from Family mart and was shocked it was 8 baht. Pretty fine one though. The best banana I ever had was in Rajasthan. It was pink and 10 times the price of the yellow ones. Ever seen them here?

My retriever is vicious with other dogs but hopeless as a gurd dog. When my garden flourishe, I'll have to get a pit bull or similar. Maybe some extra CCTV cameras. Last week, I got a 1 year old Boston Bull terrier but when it was let loose there was a bloody fight with the retriever and we had to take him back - seemed such a nice thing when we saw it first but totally changed it's spots when it came to a square go.

Sorry for your loss.

[Eddy B]

I had a similar experience. I have two papaya trees growing in my front yard. Now the house next door to me is vacant and no goes there but about 2 weeks ago a generic crazy person in the soi........we all usually have one if you live in a rural town started crashing/relaxing in this houses area. Hopefully not for taking drugs! As soon as see hears me and my family stirring in the house she runs away to her mums house up the soi. Anyway, back to my papayas. I was told by my very good friend that if I watered them naturally; i.e. piss at the base of the tree the papayas will flourish. Now I don't like papaya but my wife and her family love them so as a doting husband I would piss on the trees in turn daily. Last week the taller tree (6ft high) was prime for picking but we were busy that day. In the morning 2 of the biggest/fattest papayas were gone and the overgrown grass on the vacant house was flattened. I hope that the crazy soi bi%^h chokes on my piss enhanced grown papaya seeds. All joking!! This did happen, I was just surprised that someone would do this so openly and without shame. After 9 yrs of the LOS I am still surprised by peoples actions. :-)

[ToddWeston]

I always thought bananas and papaya's grew in the back room at Tesco's, this is all devastating news to me.

[balo]

Why didnt you just buy back your bananas so you could glue them back on the tree

Sent from my SM-P601 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

[I Like Thai]

The bananas were leaning over the fence and into the road. It was not on your property, so it was free for anyone to take them that wanted them. The lady may sue you for calling her a thief.

[MB1]

The bananas were leaning over the fence and into the road. It was not on your property, so it was free for anyone to take them that wanted them. The lady may sue you for calling her a thief.

I'm suprised that no one has said they saw an African eating a bunch of bannanas down on nana plaza...

[I Like Thai]

The bananas were leaning over the fence and into the road. It was not on your property, so it was free for anyone to take them that wanted them. The lady may sue you for calling her a thief.

I'm suprised that no one has said they saw an African eating a bunch of bannanas down on nana plaza...

Why would anyone say that ?

[ultimate weapon]

he's laughing