Hash House Harriers

[soap]

Chiangrai Family Friendly HHH Run No. 101

Saturday 17th March 2012 Start 4-00pm prompt

LOCATION----HUAY SAK RESERVOIR

DIRECTIONS

Head South pass the Big C, at the first set of traffic lights opposite the Little Duck Hotel turn Left onto the 1020

Travel this road past Kilometre Stone 14.You will come to a set of traffic lights,TURN RIGHT at the lights HHH sign

Proceed along this road for 3 Kilometres and park up at the Reservoir HHH sign. Allow 35 minutes from Big C.

People do swim in this lake, so if you are up for a swimming hash afterwards, do bring suitable attire and a towel. Also there are restaurants in the area so the hares, Cop Out and Scotch on the Rocks will check out the possibility of an On! On! On! and get back to us later on that.

ON! ON!

[soap]

Chiangrai Family Friendly HHH Run No 101

Saturday 17th March Start 4-00pm prompt

Hi all

The one good thing about the rain and high winds which have beset our beloved Chiangrai these past couple of days is that they have blown all that lung-clogging soot away. The air is clean! What's more, beginning tomorrow the weather forecast is clear. So we are definitely going ahead with our 101st hash at the Huay Sak reservoir. See driving instructions above. (There is no change from the ldriving instructions I first sent out 10 days ago.) The hares have proposed that we begin at 4 pm. The sun sets around 6:30 pm and we all want to be in and the circle done before the darkness falls, so please everyone be on time.

There are a couple of restaurants overlooking the reservoir and I am sure they will be happy to receive anyone who wishes to stay afterwards for dinner. Wild Woman and I are seriously thinking about doing that and we are hoping others will join us.

On! On!

Wirgin Bluce

Edited March 14, 2012 by soap

[taffyjack]

Hope to be meeting up with you all for virgin run, don't really know what it's about but sounds fun & a good way to meet and hopefully make new friends.

[soap]

Chiangrai Family Friendly HHH

Report of Run #101: Saturday, March 17, 2012

Location: Huai Sak Reservoir

Hare: Cop Out and Scotch on the Rocks

This was a run of many firsts. Overlooking the hang-over hash last month, this was the first time, female hashers hared a route. It was also the first time in a long time, that the better halves of the hares neglected to come.

It was also the first time a Thai adult male had graced our run in eight years. Tak was one of eight virgins who showed up this day. He came as a guest of Tony who almost extinguished himself on the trial in the presence of On Fire. He complained about throbbing heart pains but it was nothing that another cigarette couldn’t solve.

It was a Goldilocks trail neither too long nor too short, or too hilly or too flat. Our two hares, Cop Out and Scotch on the Rocks recently returned from shopping spree in Penang and Hong Kong and they knew exactly what they wanted.

As usual Thaitanic and Flying Dutchman led the twenty-nine participants closely followed by Jet, a twelve-year old Canadian virgin running in flip flops. Jack Off, a hasher visiting from Istanbul was not far behind. As the end neared, they were surprised to discover Shocking ambling on well ahead. Following paper was never his forté but this time it seems he stumbled on the right trial by accident.

Thankfully the run began at 4 pm just after the heat of the day had passed. Most hasher took about an hour to complete the course. The FRBs finished about 15 minutes ahead. Anticipating the inevitable problems, your faithful correspondent had the foresight to lock the beer in his car. Fortunately there was a big lake nearby in which the drink-deprived FRBs could drown their sorrows.

The two Japanese, Lost Samurai and Mile High were as inseparable as ever. To everyone’s astonishment, Special Needs was able to walk 30 minutes without the constant attentions of Special Services. Marmalaid and Soreasses likewise took a break from one another. Best Man did even better. Somehow he mislaid the backsliding MANipulator and brought his friendly Rottweiler, now named Holly Bone in her place.

On! On!

Hash Sec Wirgin Bluce

[soap]

Chiangrai Family Friendly HHH

Saturday, 21 April, will be the 102nd Chiangrai HHH in beautiful Baan Doi Hang Nai with a 4:00 start time.

The trail: a couple of short hills, narrow rice paddy ridges (our neighbors’ rice so please do not walk on it--recommend any dogs can be put on leashes when traversing through farmers' homestead proper and rice paddies), some heavy growth terrain, couple of places you might need a buddy to give you a hand up one or two vertical steps, otherwise 7.5 kilometers of pure enjoyment.

Directions to Don’s Café: Starting from the Shell garage at the top of the Old Chiang Mai Road (Highway numbered 1211) in Chiang Rai, proceed about 1.5 km south until you reach the second set of traffic lights in Den Haa (Moom Mai corner). Turn right here. (If you see the “Sixties Bar” you have just missed it.) Continue along this curving road until you reach Don’s Café on the left side of the road. It is about 8 km. The blue Doi In Cee Stupa signs will keep you going the right direction.

From Don's Cafe take the Soi going left at Don's "Y" intersection (HHH sign). Turn left at the "T" intersection when you see the blue "Doi In Cee Stupa" sign (HHH sign). You will be behind a school with a smaller soi going straight. Turn left on Soi 1 (HHH sign). The main soi will turn right at the king's picture, and a wat will be on your right, as well. Soi1 begins concrete then becomes gravel and grass. A blue house is on top of the hill then Soi 1 leads to 4 mint green buildings. Our house is the first one. The road leads directly into our driveway.

Parking: Since the children of House of Union are away at their villages now, you can park on the complex football field behind our house. Follow Moo 1 and go between the buildings.

**The Beer/Water/Snack Wagon can park in our driveway.**

On On On at Don's afterward is only off the menu because Don doesn't have the staff anymore to offer buffets. I'll take a head count before the trek of those who wish to go there afterward so he has a "heads-up".

[soap]

Chiangrai Families Friendly HHH Run # 102

Location: Baan Doi Hang Nai

Date: Saturday April 21, 2012

Hare: Soreasses and Marmalaid assisted by Crash

Precisely at 4 pm the hare called the rowdy hashers to order, and sent them braying onwards along the track. Less than 10 minutes later the heavens which had been threatening rain for a week finally opened up and deluged its beneficence upon both the righteous and the rest. Fortunately the group was just passing a sheltered bus stop at that moment. Ten minutes later the worst had passed. Then Special Services boldly stepped forward well protected beneath a towering umbrella.

Not long afterwards came the first hill. Shocking looked straight up and decided that this wasn’t for him. Pat-on-the-Back rushed back to accompany him fearing that he might otherwise get lost. Superglue defied all expectations by carrying on without his mother.

The route took us through bucolic vistas but the price for such splendor was climbing and descending two very steep hills. At a couple of points the hares thoughtfully laid out ropes to help navigate the slopes but at one of those two lines, it was only the thought which counted as the tree to which the hares had attached the rope had since blown down.

The eight checks did exactly what they were supposed to do. By the time the FRBs Flying Dutchman and Fired Up found the way forward, anyone could be in the lead. Thus it came about that Superglue managed to slip by these FRBs on the last check and cross the finish line first. Congratulations, Superglue.

The trail at 7.5 km was on the long side and given the delay caused by the rain, darkness threatened to overtake hashers wondering about in the field. It didn’t help that being so environmentally conscious, Soreasses had marked the route using confetti paper which dissolves in the rain. So to save time the sweep, Crash indicated the way forward when the last hasher reached the check. Having only done the route once before, however, his memory was less than perfect. Thus he once again demonstrated the wisdom of his hash name, Crash.

As a result of much painful experience, the Lost Samurai had developed a strategy to avoid getting lost. At each critical juncture, he got out his camera and took a picture. Afterwards he was unanimously elected Hash Flash.

At the conclusion of the brief circle, Shocking proposed that all hashers who had survived the run deserve a down down. So we redrew an imaginary circle and recruited a neighbor to take the picture located below.

On! On!

Hash Sec Wirgin Bluce

[soap]

The 103d run of the Chiang Rai "Family Friendly" takes place Saturday May 19 beginning at 4 pm. Here are the driving directions:

Heading west from the fancy Clock Tower, follow the bend at the end of the road and then take left turn at the first traffic lights. Now you are on Old Chiang Mai Road. Follow this road past kilometer stone 7 and make a right turn at the HHH sign. Locals "Thai" know this road as the Quarry Road. Look for the large orange house on the corner where you turn. Go 2.5k along this quarry road and park at the red motorcycle with the waving hare.

Course

Not all flat by any means, all are dirt tracks though, some a little grassy

All in Orchards and the Plantation

Roughly

Initial part 1.6k quite a few hard checks for front runners "none for first 500m"

Idea is still to have every one together at 1.6k

Then there will then be a very obvious option to take a shorter route back or continue on the normal one.

Both the shorter and normal route will continue to have checks, but easier.

The idea is that the normal route will lead back in too the short route making it the last leg of the normal route.

This way those on the short route will be doing the checks for those on the normal route :-)

It could end up with the FRB catching up with those on the short route

Short route aprox 3k -3.5k

Normal route aprox 5k - 6k

Observations

Not a lot of shade. Bring sunscreen and hats.

Hare

Crash

--

[soap]

ChIangrai Family Friendly HHH #103 Saturday May 19th

Report

The latest hash began with an added twist in that the first “checks“ or misleading trails, were cunningly laid by Hare Crash before the walking even began, for example by giving driving directions to turn at a non-existent “large orange house”. This may explain why the numbers this time were relatively circumscribed, but then again coincidence is not necessarily causation.

The route started at a very pleasant plantation, with surprisingly little litter and very beautiful long grass between the trees. The hashers saw to this anomaly by decisively bulldozing the grass with a number of large and heavy SUV’s and pickups. The site is now in “normal condition”.

The walk proceeded along a pleasant, wide path along plantations of tea and a tree species unknown to this reviewer. In fact the walk could well be recycled (excuse the pun) at a future date for a bike hash, since there are relatively few overlapping members between the groups.

The longer sight lines in the plantation setting allowed the back-running b’s to guage more easily where the frb’s were heading and thus to avoid most of the false trails.

Upon arrival at the finish line there was a relatively heavy downpour, and at this moment a technical glitch was discovered, in that, for nebulous reasons, the Assistant Hare, Shampoo, was in possession of the key to Wirgin Bluce’s car (are you still following me?), which contained the refreshments. And in an added twist, Assistant Hair, sorry Assistant Hare Shampoo was one of the last hashers to arrive at the finishing line. So the hashers found themselves in a situation of cold rain but no beer. Inexplicably some departed early, but again, coincidence is not necessarily causation.

In the end though the organisation of the refreshments was as usual flawless, which is only to be expected from the kind of person who carries jump starters in the back of his car.

The circle continued in its usual manner, with the consummate diplomat Shocking expressing gratitude to all those present for having made it. Conversely, some of those present felt the same way towards towards Shocking, since the solicitous hare, no doubt concerned about his legal responsibilities as the organiser, had sent the support vehicle to pick him up.

The Hash name Farang Friendly was given to the sole new member of the day. She was fine with the name, but didn’t seem to like the beer too much.

There were 4 out of towners, one being an American couple who seemed suitably grizzled and had all the gear to blend in perfectly with the crowd. Conversely the other couple, Jolly Molly’s son Stephane and his partner Gabriela stood out a little bit because Gabriela had omitted to bring Hash-appropriate gear from Bangkok and therefore came in an outfit borrowed from Jolly Molly’s infant daughter, much to the satisfaction of some of the hashers.

When it came time for the business-to-discuss rubric of the Circle Wirgin Bluce bounded up and insisted pedantically that Jolly Molly’s name should be changed, based on an obscure Hash custom that Hash partners have connected names. He then “spontaneously” suggested the name Blows Twice since Jolly Molly had once had 2 flat tyres during a bike hash. Har, har, har. Comes Twice attempted to counter-suggest the name Molly Comes, since Molly comes to the Hashes regularly, but was out-bullied by Wirgin Bluce and Shocking.

In retaliation Comes Twice tried to run Wirgin Bluce over on the way out, but unfortunately his vehicle was not sufficiently powerful and sprightly Bluce managed to jump out of the way.

Many thanks to Crash for organising an interesting walk and as usual to Fired up, On Fire, Superglue, Lost Samurai, Maple High, Able Semen and all the others for their good cheer.

Comes Twice

Hash scribe (pro bono)

[soap]

Driving Instructio​ns for Hash Run #104 Saturday June 16 at 4 pm # Run 104

Inboxx

The Chiang Rai "Family Friendly" hash will begin at the Twice residence on Saturday June 16 starting at 4 pm. Please see the driving instructions below:

Attached is a map to the hash starting point, which is our house.1. Drive down Paholyutin Rd from the city centre. When you reach the entrance to Central on your left, take the road on your right, opposite Central. After 300 m this road bisects the old airport runway.

2. Continue to follow this road. 400 m after the runway there is a t-junction. Turn left, you are now on Doi Prabhat.3. We are on soi 10/1 (between soi 10 and soi 11), which is a dirt road on your left 1.4 km after the t-junction

4. We are 200 m straight down this soi, on your left, white wall and black gate.

This part of the soi has deep mud grooves, so if your car has low ground clearance you are better off continuing on Doi Prabhat road to soi 11 (600 m further, on your left) and getting to our house that way. There will be HHH signs at both soi entrances. (Your faithful scribe definitely recommends this alternative for all who do not have 4 wheel drive.)

The walk will include a couple of river crossings over flimsy bamboo/tree trunk bridges, so those who do not wish to risk getting wet in the river can return home via a short loop and get wet in the pool while awaiting the others.

Swimming is encouraged, so do bring your speedos.

On! On!

Comes Twice and Blows Twice

Edited June 11, 2012 by soap

[soap]

Chiangrai Family Friendly HHH Report #104 June 16th

This month’s hash began and ended at the so-called Twice Residence, so

it was more of an urban walk than a traditional hash further out of

town. As such the route was through some very degraded “nature”,

interspersed with numerous rubbish tips. Much like the other hashes

then.

After some tense moments before the start attempting to get the

hashers not to park on the grass, things quieted down and everyone set

off.

The hares had not had the heart to distribute copious amounts of

paper, so an attempt was made to stick together as a group. This

worked very well until the end of the driveway, after which the

hashers coalesced into a group of 5 very fast hashers, led by Blows

Twice’s son Stephane, and a group of 25 very slow hashers, led by the

hares. Blows Twice was possibly the first hare ever to do a hash in a

dress, but appearances can be deceptive, the hares were taking their

duties very seriously.

The typical organisational framework occasioned much tut-tutting and

head shaking from Wirgin Bluce, but fortunately he is no longer the

hash scribe.

It is correct that some hashers got slightly lost due to the absence

of paper, but it was felt by the organisers that it would be quibbling

to differentiate between getting lost due to the absence of paper

versus getting lost due to paper intentionally pointing down false

trails.

The first part of the walk was through the vacant land around Doi

Prabat. This area is not on the tourist trail, and thus is used

primarily by the local community for leisure activities such as

buffalo grazing, catching snakes, fly-tipping and the like. After

doing a loop through here we reached the first thrill of the route, a

flimsy bridge consisting of 2 bamboo trunks. Nonetheless, everyone

decided to cross except Shocking, who was desirous to return home for

a head start on the drinks.

The vacant land on the other side of the river was more of the same.

For those adventurers amongst the hashers who like to “buy” land

without proper title and build on it, this part of Chiang Rai is

ideal. And you can walk to Central! In fact you have to walk to

Central, because there won’t be a road going to your house.

The second bridge was even trickier than the first, due to a

pronounced swinging motion, but despite having cameras at the ready,

no one fell in, although On Fire picked up a leech. Some mastered the

bridge crossings more gracefully than others of course, but it’s not a

competition. Except for one of the hashers, who crossed a bridge on

her hands.

Back at home the business of the day was handled with customary

professionalism by Shocking, Wirgin Bluce and Able Semen. Blows

Twice’s son was on his 3rd hash and after a cliffhanger of a vote he

now rejoices in the hash name Twice As Long. These names are the gift

that keeps on giving.

The refreshments provided by the hosts (fruit) were slightly

underwhelming given that the outlay was only thb 1100, but at least

there was no issue with leftovers.

By in large the hashers were quite well behaved, apart from the odd

plastic bottle discovered on the lawn, and it is believed that no one

peed in the pool, at least not while standing on the side.

On On

Comes Twice and Blows Twice

As retired Hash Scribe your faithful ex-correspondent remains silent.

He resists commenting on the absence of paper which complicated the

search for the trail. All struggled to follow a lanky bald spot which

kept disappearing in the distance. While he acknowledges the perverse

creativity of the hares who insist on outlining in great detail every

twist and turn in the route to be followed, he confesses that at the

third turning to the left following at least four turns to the right,

he had no idea what the hare was talking about. It seems the ex-scribe

was not alone in his confusion. Stephane, son of Blows Twice who was

to lead the Front Running Bastards and presumably knew the trail,

also got lost. It seems Stephane has a talent for leading the FRBs

astray and in recognition of this skill, he acquired the hash name

"Twice As Long." His partner in sin, Gabriella will be coming up for

a name next time she makes the mistake of coming to a hash. May I

humbly consider that in memory of the fine hospitality we received at

the Twice residence at this June hash, we give her the name "As Long

Inn." Jeremy the girl who walks as much on her hands as on her feet

will need a name next time also. Any suggestions?

I will send you by a separate email a fine video done of our hash

by Virgin Jim.

On! On!

WB

[soap]

Chiangrai Family Friendly HHH *105

Saturday 21st July 2012 Start 4-00pm prompt　

LOCATION----BAAN SUN SAAI, A.MUANG CHIANGRAI

DIRECTIONS

Head south the Super Hwy(#1) passing Big C and 4 way traffic lights at the#1020.

Continue along the #1 Hwy, pass the traffic lights at the new bus terminal.(Do not turn left to the bus station).

You will see ESSO gas station in about 300m on your left side, drive further down about 3 kilometers,

you will come to see another gas station(CALTEX) on your left side and the first HHH sign.

Turn left onto the paved Soi(the corners are the CALTEX and the Wat Ban Pong Sali) on your left side. (Do not pass the Wat, make sure to turn the Soi to the left at the HHH sign.).

Drive along the winding road in the rice fields and village houses(Moo baan) about 1.7 Kilometers.

And then you will see a narrow concrete bridge with the second HHH sign on your right side over the

Mae Nam Lao river(there is a small grocery store on the left) , turn right to cross the bridge onto the rice fields both sides,

proceed along this road for 500m ,and come to a narrow water way or an irrigation canal.

Park up along the water way. Allow Approximately 15-20 minutes from Big C.

ON ! ON !

Min Yamashita (Last Samurai)

Shinji Imagawa (Mile or Maple High)

[soap]

Chiangrai Family Friendly HHH Report *105

The July 21st hash was held in the rolling hills at the base of the mountains to the SE of the city. A brave ____ 25 souls turned up for the occasion as the weather had been rainy for the days up to the hash. Expectations were low because it was the first hash to be set by our Japanese duo of Lost Samurai and Mile High. During the briefing Mile High mentioned a long stretch of straight flat dusty road beside the main road that had the more experienced hashers trying to think of a good excuse to get away before the start but without an alibi, they were stuck. The beginning of the hash led on a dirt road through a forested area and numerous checks were easily solved by the early FRBs including Able Semen, Flying Dutchman, Crash, Fired Up and an unnamed hasher aka Moses. The young lads – Johnny Walker and Buffalo Bill were able to keep pace for the first couple km. Just as Namron was commenting to Brain Health that first time hares had a tendency to make checks too easy, Able Semen came running back, cursing under his breath “God-dam_n, TWO false trails leading to a back check!” Brain Health turned and said “those Japanese can be quite tricky, it looks like a completely different kettle of fish.” Sure enough, the checks proved very devious and kept the pack together as tight as sardines for the first 70% of the course. The trail was exceptionally beautiful taking us through verdant rice fields, over panoramic hills in fruit plantations and through cool deep forests. Our hares were even kind enough to run us through some thick shiggy so that No Name and Ranger were able to add to their collection of weed induced scars on their young faces. The weather cooperated and it turned out to be a radiant day (except for the FRBs who kept getting spanked by the checks.) Being the sympathetic bastards that they are, the hares finally took pity and made the approx. 1 km stretch of forested trail check free so that FRBs were finally able to break away from the pack. The last 1 km was indeed a hot, flat 1 km walk back to the circle but there were no complaints. By the time everyone returned at the circle, it was only 5:20 pm and the sun was still HOT so the circle took place in the only small patch of shade in the area. After Shocking did his usual speil and needed something to keep the circle going he called Brain Health into the circle and with tears of ecstacy in his eyes told the circle that we should honor the Chiang Rai founding father (when will it stop!?) Brain Health used the occasion to demonstrate that the Chiang Rai has was truly becoming an international affair with Japanese hares, British, American and Thai runners and an Irish virgin that he immediately took a shining to (since his wife was testing the limits of his credit card in Central.) However, when called into the circle, the hashers were befuddled that an Irishwoman did not order a beer, only a coke and not only that, she wasn’t able to finish it! Brain Health started getting suspicious and through his lawyerly questioning ascertained that the virgin was actually an American of Irish heritage (from the rotten spud generation) and at that point, the gleam in his eyes disappeared. The naming ceremony for Chompoo (Crash’s better half) was also a rather drawn out affair. Crash, being afraid of repercussions, did not assist in the naming at all. (Showing obviously who wears the pants in that relationship!) Finally Brain Health made the connection between her bike shop and bedroom behavior (Crash has not commented on this either) and she was christened the venerable “Pumps a Lot.”

The GM, Shocking, who was unable to do the run because of a sliver in his toe, did a commendable job of protecting the hash stash and the local beer thieves were only able to get away with 8 cans of beer before the FRBs returned. Shocking said that if it wasn’t for his black belts in Akido and Jujitsu the bastards would have taken it all.

Besides what turned out to be possibly the best virgin run that our Alzheimer infected hashers could remember, the hashers were also treated to a large variety of fresh fruits before the circle. The 4 young lads, Moses and Namron took full advantage of the fact that they were the only ones to have brought a mat to sit on and subsequently all the food ended up in front of them.

Another interesting aside in CR hash history is that it must have been the first circle with more Coke requests for splashes than beer - certainly not living up to our billing as a drinking group with a running problem! Wirgin Bluce, who has been working hard to come up with a hash name for the yet unnamed member of the Twice clan will be happy to know that since Gabriella did not show up, he will have a chance to work his magic yet again!

Scribe: Namron

[soap]

Chiangrai Family Friendly HHH No *106

the next outing of Chiangrai "family friendly" hash will be this Saturday August 18 beginning at 4 pm. For driving directions see below:

From Big C go South on superhighway to the next set of lights. Turn left onto the 1020 and continue to the next set of lights (turnoff to Santiburi Golf Club, ). Go past the intersection and at the end of the center reservation do a U turn (there is a sign telling you not to, but this is Thailand!) Go back towards the lights and you will see a road on your left, (there will be a hash sign there) take this, and continue for approximately 6 km. Park by the side of the road where you see my car, a white Captiva, You are there. Hopefully there will be a HHH sign on the car.

This is the rainy season, so please don't expect a dry walk!!! Depending upon the weather situation on the day, I may well have to modify the route to ensure you stay on reasonable tracks, as I don't have enough lifejackets for everyone!!!! There is one section where Nita advises the ladies and children (not the roughty toughty FRB's) to wear long sleaves and trousers to avoid getting scratched. Its only a short section.

On! On!

Thaitanic & Iceberg

[soap]

Hi Everybody,

Yes today, Saturday's hash is going ahead. The hare Thaitanic has looked at the weather synoptic maps and based on his twenty years as a merchant marine captain, has determined that while we may experience some light rain, the big storm will pass to the north of us. So he is out laying the trail as you read this.

Looking forward to seeing you all at 4 pm.

On! On!

WB

[soap]

Chiangrai Family Friendly HHH No 107*

The August 18 hash was once again a welcome break in the deadlines- and stress-filled lives of the Chiang Rai expat community. Thankfully we have this venerable institution to be able to dress in casual clothes and find the time for a drink at least once a month.

Thaitanic and Iceberg were supposedly the co-hares, but judging by the sweat-drenched and slightly haggard appearance of Thaitanic versus the fragrant appearance of Iceberg at the beginning of the hash it would seem that Thaitanic did most of the work.

The hashers met off highway 1020 at the foot of the hills with the mobile phone masts which are one of the distinctive architectural landmarks of our glorious city so full of architectural masterpieces. Thaitanic gave a brief description of the walk which awaited us; the gist of it was that there was nothing to worry about, there would be only one fork, with an L for the long route and an S for the short route, and nothing much else to report. The briefing was clearly deceptive, sinceone group of 5 hashers got thoroughly lost, and within that group a sub-group of 2 (Comes Twice and Andrew from Australia who doesn’t yet have a hash name)got even more lost and ended up having to aim for those mobile phone masts in order to find their way to the road leading back to the OnOn meeting point.

Andrew and Comes Twice were concerned during their separation from the group about the anxiety their absence was surely occasioning the rest of the group, but upon their return it became apparent that these worries were unfounded. The only comment was from Nam Ron who helpfully pointed out that even the 9-year olds had made it back faster.

Four new members were indicted, sorry inducted, 3 of them being recently arrived teachers who have now considerably lowered the average age of the CR HHH membership. They rejoice in the hash names of Bottoms Up, Curly Beaver and, er, (*emails Wirgin Bluce and Shocking*) dam_n Beaver.

The fourth new member, who was christened Walking Wreck, does not lower the average age of the membership.

We were also introduced to a first timer, ‘Francesco from Spain’ who looked slightly apprehensive and didn’t say a word, possibly because he was having trouble following what Shocking was saying.

Comes Twice %

Edited August 21, 2012 by soap

[soap]

Chiangrai Family Friendly HHH Saturday 15th September 2012

Run No 107 Start 4pm prompt

Directions

Head south past the Big C,at the first set of traffic lights(opp Little duck hotel ) turn left

onto the 1020 road,travel this road for 500 metres then turn left at the HHH sign, aprox 1k

You will come to a sharp right hand bend,park up 300 metres after this bend HHH sign.

Allow 5 minutes from Big C, FRBS 4minutes.

Hares, Pat on the back,Flying Dutchman, Shocking.

Hurricanes/Tsunamis

At this time of the year are storm tracking duo of Wirgin Bluce and Titanic will be on 24 hour alert,

they will monitor any Hurricanes or Tsunamis within a radius of 2,000 kilometres,if they give the red light we will then put plan B into motion.

PLAN B

We will use are all weather hash trail,we will hash twice around the BigC carpark (undercover of course)

then over the bridge to the Central Plaza car park,once around the car park straight through Tops,Robinsons and of course Mcdonalds.

The long trail will take the FRBS up and down ten flights of stairs in the Little Duck hotel.

BE WARNED

Any hasher seen riding the escalator or stepping into a lift, will be punished by drinking a double downer while

standing on their head (as Bottoms up does this every hash anyway, she will be made to sing the stars and stripes as well)

The Circle

Will take place in the maternity ward of Sriburin hospital were the virgins will be toasted

On On

[soap]

We have now received the green light from our resident storm watchers Wirgin Bluce and Titanic.

Tomorrows hash is On On On

[svenivan]

Here are some photos for todays Hash.

As you can see we have a lot of fun!

[skybluestu]

Nice pics Sven, a great hash as usual with some of the friendliest and most genuine people you'll ever meet. Thanks to Pat & Nit who were great hosts.

Sent from my GT-I9003 using Thaivisa Connect App

[soap]

Chiangrai Family Friendly HHH Run No 107

Founded November 2003

Location: Mockingham Palace, Behind Big C

Hares: G.M. Shocking, Pat on the Back and Flying Dutchman

The skies had poured rain all week but as our very own infalible meteorologist Thaitanic predicted (or precipitated) the skies cleared, the sun emerged and the rains ceased just in time to create yet another “family friendly” hash. This time however there were no children to make a family. Of the twenty-four hashers present, the women outnumbered the men 14 to ten.

There was no need then for the Plan B which would lead the team through the Central Plaza underground parking, up the Little Duck stairs and into the Sriburin maternity ward. However time and weather was not sufficient to dry the route so the hares offered two options: (1) for the foolish, a walk through 100 meters of mud; and (2) for the sane, a shorter route avoiding it. The group then naturally split into two equal numbers, the first group being mainly FRBs while the latter had all the Thai women plus a few farangs like Hand Cock, Alan and your faithful correspondent who gallantly followed to keep the ladies from going astray.

Our perpetual G.M. used his hare-ship to achieve many firsts in the Chiangrai Hashing world. For example this was the first hash to propose two plans A and B. It was also the first time our family friendly group had hashed along a super highway. Thirdly it was the first time the sweep used a vehicle to shepherd lost hashers along the straight and narrow. Finally this hash set a new gold standard in environmental consciousness, reducing the use of paper to well below the minimum needed to clearly show the route. As a result the saner group got thoroughly confused and had to call upon the vehicle-bound sweep to show the way forward.

Our favourite G.M. hare informed the group that the trail would pass over two bamboo bridges. He claimed that he had personally tested these bridges so he could guarantee their safety. Wiser hashers now began to look doubtful wondering if the bridges had cracked or come loose under the formidable weight of the biggest G.M. in our family friendly history. Able Seaman was so worried that he chose to deviate from the papered trial in order to cross a different bridge and then created his own parallel trial in hopes of never having to cross water again.

As the trail wandered behind Sriburin Hospital, this truthful reporter began to worry that some misinformed hashers may have mistakenly opted for the abandoned Plan B. So always thinking of others, he took it upon himself to investigate the hospital’s sanitary facilities while the others raced madly ahead.

Finally back at Mockingham Palace, Pat on the Back put out a fine meal that fully compensated the forlorn for her husband’s excesses. It was also in celebration of her birthday which the charming G.M. pointed out is no special deal in their household as everyday is like a birthday since the day she married him. Delicious odors from the fine food must have drifted to the Dutch village for shortly thereafter Cop Out’s better half appeared.

Once the crowd had eaten and were less inclined to lynch him, the G.M. called the circle to order to toast himself and the two other hares for what he considered a job well done.

The first of the Snow Birds, notably Scotch on the Rocks and her better half, Allan plus long absent Do It Better were also toasted. This being Khun Joy’s third hash, the group deliberated on a name. Wild Woman testified to No Longer Virgin Joy’s bicycling speed but the crowd refused to honour her with the name “Fast Woman,” preferring “Dynamite in a Hole” as proposed by Do It Yourself who hinted at some inside knowledge. The G.M. knighted her accordingly using a nearby umbrella.

Nam Ron, the Beavers along with the Flying Dutchman and Bottoms Up among others ensured that the party went on into the night so long as any hash beer stock remained.

On! On!

Wirgin Bluce

Hash Sec

[soap]

Here are the directions to the October 2012 Chiang Rai SSATTO Family Friendly Hash, Run Number 108.

Date: Saturday 20th October 2012

Time: start at 3.30 pm so be at the meeting point no later than 3.15 pm

Directions:

Proceed south down the Old Chiang Mai Road until you reach Kilometre Stone 18. Please note that 18 is the number facing the road and not the number facing you as you approach the stone. Also please note that the number 18 has faded so watch out for stone 17. 18 is the next one along!

0.75 kms after the stone, there is a turning to the left. It is immediately after a school, also on the left side of the road. Turn left here. There will be a Hash sign on the corner.

After 100 metres turn right. You will see another Hash sign here.

Go down this road for 4.15 kms until you reach a x roads. Turn right here - another helpful hash sign! (Note that the road to the x road takes a sharp rt turn after 1.2 kms. At this point, there is a minor road which goes straight ahead. Keep to the main road and follow it round to the right and continue to the x road).

After turning right at the x road, go on for another 0.55 kms and you will see the meeting point on the right.

Brief Descriptions:

There will be a short and a longer run of +/- 6 and 9 kms respectively. Given the rain during the early part of the month, I thought it wise to opt for a flat trail, with no natural nor man made hazards - but it does have some tricky checks!

On on. Able Semen

[soap]

Chiangrai Family Friendly Hash report Run No 108

Saturday 20th October 2012

The usual suspects met up off the old Chiangmai highway for our latest hash.

Unusually Wirgin Bluce was not present,and will therefore not be able to offer helpful editing tips for the improvement of this report,however he did email the scribe a list of the attendees,from which the scribe is able to report that the attendance consisted of 16 hashers and 2 children

(not married to any of the hashers)

Wirgin Bluce"s statistics even divulged which of the hashers sprung for beer as opposed to the soft drinks option,and upon close analysis it becomes clear that the Chiangrai hash is indeed very family- friendly,to the extent possibly, of running counter to the worldwide hashing creed.

Hmmm.The hash was ably hared by Able semen,who was able to lay a very series of checks etc,to the extent that at one point he was able to trick two groups of hashers into encountering each other going in opposite directions on the same path.

The trail was in fact so confusing that Able Semen wisely decided to drive around it on his scooter in order to offer assistance to lost hashers.

Somehow, as always,everyone made it back safely and the circle began.There was a newcomer from the UK,and Shocking,scenting weakness,

managed to rapidly sell him a t-shirt.Mercilessly,on a roll,he tried to sell him a second one.

There was also a naming ceremony for a third time hasher who will henceforth walk the earth rejoicing in the name Lone Walker.He is from

Liverpool, like Shocking,and his hash name is some kind of an in-joke from Liverpool.Shocking and Lone Walker then continued for some time with their in-jokes from Liverpool,unfortunately this was over the head of the scribe and therefore cannot be transcribed.

There was a brief business of-of-the-day debate about whether the forthcoming 111th Chiangrai hash should be a special occasion,during which it was democratically decided by Shocking that it should not be.

Comes Twice

Pro bono and pro tempore scribe for 1 more month

[soap]

chiangrai Family Friendly HHH Run No 109

9th Anniversary Hash, Saturday 17th November 2012 Start 3-30pm

Founded 15th November 2003

The 9th Chiang Rai anniversary hash will be on November 17th. The location will be the forest park just past the police check point south of Mae Chan as you are driving north. Since it is our anniversary hash Namron has decided to do something special and has arranged an outstation at Chang Garden in Mae Chan. The cost per person to stay the night will be 350 baht with American breakfast and 300 baht if Thai breakfast. There will also be an on-on dinner at the resort and the price will be at most 200 baht per head (depending on the menu we choose.) Please contact SOAP as soon as possible by PM and let him know if you are interested in the dinner and spending the night or just the dinner. Chang Garden does have a swimming pool so bring your swimming suit whether you plan to stay or not. The hash will start from Chang Garden at 3:30. Drive to Mae Chan, turn right at the light after Tesco and drive about 2.5 km down the road and look for HHH signs on the right.

Since it gets dark at 6 pm and much of the hash will be in the forest, if you think there is a chance you will need longer than 2.5 hours to do 7-8 km, bring a flashlight. Finally, during scouting we found that although the trails are there, it is at the end of rainy season so some sections have some bush. Therefore long pants or gators are probably a good idea.

On On

NR

[soap]

Chiangrai Family Friendly HHH Run No 109

9th Anniversary Hash, Saturday 17th November 2012 Start 3-30pm

Founded 15th November 2003

For some reason i cant copy from a email and paste here without it being to small to read.

will sort it out and post again

Edited November 8, 2012 by soap

[soap]

Let me try again.

Chiangrai Family Friendly HHH Run No 109

9th Anniversary Hash, Saturday 17th November 2012 Start 3-30pm

Founded 15th November 2003

The 9th Chiang Rai anniversary hash will be on November 17th. The location will be the forest park just past the police check point south of Mae Chan as you are driving north. Since it is our anniversary hash Namron has decided to do something special and has arranged an outstation at Chang Garden in Mae Chan. The cost per person to stay the night will be 350 baht with American breakfast and 300 baht if Thai breakfast. There will also be an on-on dinner at the resort and the price will be at most 200 baht per head (depending on the menu we choose.) Please contact SOAP as soon as possible by PM and let him know if you are interested in the dinner and spending the night or just the dinner. Chang Garden does have a swimming pool so bring your swimming suit whether you plan to stay or not. The hash will start from Chang Garden at 3:30. Drive to Mae Chan, turn right at the light after Tesco and drive about 2.5 km down the road and look for HHH signs on the right.

Since it gets dark at 6 pm and much of the hash will be in the forest, if you think there is a chance you will need longer than 2.5 hours to do 7-8 km, bring a flashlight. Finally, during scouting we found that although the trails are there, it is at the end of rainy season so some sections have some bush. Therefore long pants or gators are probably a good idea.

On On

NR

[soap]

The anniversary hash is in 5 days so please rsvp Namron - <email removed> as soon as possible if you haven't already so that Chang Garden can get an accurate head count for dinner and rooms.

The hash is an A to B, approx. 8 km. There are a few rolling hills but nothing overly strenuous. Again, a couple sections with thorns will be your biggest challenge but that can be overcome with long pants. However for hashers who don't aspire to complete the whole 8 km, there are numerous places where you can bail out after 4 km.

For those who can make it to the half-way point within a leisurely hour and continue to the end, you will be on schedule to be treated to a spectacular sunset on the second half of the hash and get to the resort just as the last light fades to darkness. Namron has worked hard to set a beautiful hash that takes you into the forest, past lakes, as well along rolling hills with views of the mountains - all in virgin territory so why not take advantage of this chance to see a new place in Chiang Rai, somewhere you would have never gone to otherwise?

So far we have confirmation from the following hashers:

Mile High - B

SoreAss and Marmalaid - B

Shocking + 2 - C

Wirgin Bluce - C

Namron + 3 kids - C

Able Semen + 1 - C

Flying Dutchman - C

A = just the hash

B = hash and dinner

C = hash, dinner and stay

Still waiting to hear from the Beaver crew, Do It Yourself, Lost Samurai, Titanic, HandCock and the rest of the regulars.

Edited November 13, 2012 by onthedarkside
email address removed as per forum rules

[soap]

chiangrai Family Friendly HHH report No 109

9th Anniversary Hash,Founded November 2003

An excited band got together on November 17th for the Chiang Rai 9th anniversary hash. One of the great things about being a hasher is that every other month almost there’s something to celebrate! To mark this Special Occasion it had been decided to go outstation with the added incentives of a follow on dinner, pool and option of overnight stay at the Chiang Garden hotel in Mae Chan.

Anticipation of a Very Special Hash had been further stoked by talk of bringing flashlights and the need for protective clothing.

Certainly many of the members seemed much more equipped and outfitted than usual. Some of them looked like they were wearing parts of their ski gear.

Lone Walker (otherwise known as Long and Hard) was even carrying a back pack large enough to cater for an overnighter in the forest as opposed to the hotel, which was just as well as we shall see, but perhaps his original intention had been simply to put in some practise for his Camino de Santiago plan.

At the pre-hash briefing excitement was skilfully manipulated almost to fever-pitch by the hare Nam Ron who illustrated the new and more refined types of trail markers, which included rope as well as paper! Where will it all end?

Inevitably, after such a build-up, the stage was set for disappointment, and the hash itself seemed relatively similar to all the other hashes.

But one must not speak too soon: the situation was in fact saved at the end of the day (literally) when it became clear that there were indeed 3 hashers who had not make it back by nightfall, and were still nowhere to be seen 1 hour after everyone else including the 9-year olds had made it back.

One of them was Lone Walker (Long and Hard), but we are confident this experience will stand him in good stead for his 478 km walk in Spain. We really do wish him the best of luck in his endeavour. The other M.I.A’s were a first-time hasher couple on vacation in Chiang Rai. We hope they did not become separated from each other in addition to becoming separated from the group since the wife spoke only French with a strong Quebec accent.

It was remarked upon to the scribe that on this hash he (the scribe) was among the FRB’s, a highly unusual event. The uncharacteristic enthusiasm may have stemmed subconsciously from his exuberance in the knowledge that following the hash would be the AGM during which positions are reallocated to “volunteers” and that this was therefore his last time being a scribe.

Given that the largest demographic in the hashes after retirees seems to be English teachers it should be no problem to find an excellent replacement.

As the scribe left the Circle early (after obtaining confirmation that all the positions were going to be reallocated), he is unable to report on the dinner itself and whether or not there were any drunken brawls like at the last outstation and will have to leave any additional reporting to the ever-present, dependable and diplomatic Wirgin Bluce.

Comes Twice

PS The circle concluded with an election of new officers on the Mismanagement Committee. Shocking was finally kicked out as GM after 4 years unforgetable service and replaced by Able Semen. Shocking will remain a huge presence in our group as Sex Advisor. Nam Ron successfully campaigned for the post of Hash Scribe which entitles him to the last say on every subject through the medium of the written word. Fired Up hangs on to the money as Hash Cash but the relatively sober Wirgin Bluce spends as much as he can as Hash Beer. Long departed founding member Square Rooter returns spasmodically as Religious Advisor.

Thirty eight people showed up for the hash, ten of whom were virgins. Four of these virgins teach at Mae Fah Luang University and threatened to come back again with their friends. So be prepared.

Next month will be the Christmas hash to be held at the Wirgin Bluce/Wild Woman house. As WW will be putting on a dinner it is important that people who intend to come let us know in advance. There will also be the usual anonymous gift exchange where no gift exceeds 200 Baht in value. Parents can bring gifts for their kids of any value. More about this later.

On! On!

Wirgin Bluce

[soap]

Chiangrai Family Friendly HHH Run no 110

Saturday December 15th Start 3-30 prompt

Christmas Hash

Hi all

The Christmas hash will be held on Saturday, December 15 as previously announced. We plan to start running (walking) around 3:30 pm so everyone is back before sundown so please be sure to get here before then.

The hash will begin and end at the Wild Woman/Wirgin Bluce house in the Santiburi golf course complex. To get there from the Big C drive south along the Super Highway and then turn left at the first traffic lights. Go along that highway 1020 for six kilometers and then turn left at the t-junction of the first set traffic lights. Go 2 kilometers along this road and then turn into the golf complex on your right. It is impossible to miss. Once in the complex you will immediately come to a t-junction where you turn right (HHH sign). This puts you on a ring road which goes all the way around the complex. Go 2 km along this road, never turning left and then you will see a lake on your left hand side. The Wild Woman house is a two story structure on the shore of this lake exactly two kilometers from the t-junction (HHH sign).

As this is a Christmas party we invite people to bring wrapped presents for a gift exchange. The gifts should not exceed 200 Baht in value. Parents can bring presents of any value for their own child marked with that child's name for distribution by Santa Claus. Yes, Santa Claus has promised to visit at the appropriate moment but the rest is still a mystery.

Wild Woman has promised to put on a dinner. As some people have commented in the past that they do not like to eat turkey twice in a week, turkey will not be on the menu.

. Wild Woman is putting on this HHH dinner at no cost to you beyond the usual fees (i.e. 50 non drinkers; 150 Baht beer drinkers) but in order to organize the food efficiently we need to know who is coming. please PM Soap as soon as you know for certain if you plan to come.

On! On!

Wirgin Bluce

[soap]

Chiangrai Family Friendly HHH

Christmas Hash December 15th 2012

Would just like to thank the Christmas hash hares Pe Daeng (wild woman) and Bruce (wirgin bluce)

for their hospitality given freely to the 60 hashers that attended yesterdays hash at Santiburi golf complex.

Our normal menu of a packet of crisps was replaced by Turkey, Salmon,Spare ribs,

delicious home made pavlova, and currant cake etc etc.

Even Father Christmas commented," it was the best start to his Christmas he could have had"

Thank you

[soap]

Chiangrai Family Friendly HHH run No 110

Christmas Hash Report

The 2012 Chiang Rai Family Friendly Christmas Hash, held at the royal golf estate of Wirgin Bluce (WB) and Wild Woman (WW), turned out to be the gala event of the year. Recognizing real value for money, approximately sixty people showed up to feast upon grilled salmon, turkey, sate’, deserts, other delicacies, stuffing themselves with fine food and high quality beer for a meager 150 baht. Many of the attendees were not regular hashers but were willing to endure the long walk for the bounties at the end. The mix of attendees included all ages, from young children up to retirees with a large group of 20 something teachers and 50 something retirees.

The trail was a 7 km trek, mainly on dirt roads, through the bowels of Santiburi Golf Course’s overgrown, underdeveloped, outlying lands. Most of the veterans anticipated that the trail wouldn’t be as much of a hash as a re-hash of one of WB past trails. True to form, the first false trail caught the young gun teachers off-guard but the old veterans knew better than to follow the trail out onto the 16th hole. Even though Cop Out and Scotch on the Rocks have spent much searching for their miss-hit balls in this area of Santiburi, their familiarity of the terrain was not enough of an advantage to get them to the front of the pack. WB’s next checks turned out especially devious, luring the veterans up false trails used on previous hashes. Their leg-up of assumed familiarity was quickly neutralized and even proved to be a disadvantage . The dirt trails finally exited out on paved road at about the half-way point, close to Naan Luang, the large lake on the east side of Santiburi. By the time the FRB’s assembled on the pavement, there were at least 8 vying for the lead including dam_n Beaver, Bottom’s Up, Oral Blaster, Able Semen, Namron, and three others who have yet to earn hash names – Katie, Alex and Devin. (As an aside, Katie a young American teacher, failed to notice an untied shoelace in time and one miss-step sent her crashing into the loose gravel, embedding small stones and dirt under her skin and cutting her knee. Showing true grit, she got herself off the ground and continued to run with the FRBs without as much as a whimper, even though she had a steady stream of blood trickling down her leg. Remember this since she will gets a hash name next month!) WB took everyone back towards the golf course on a long stretch of dirt road and then set numerous checks that brought all the FRBs back together again and again except for Bottoms Up and Devin who managed to lose the FRBs as well as the trail. Able Semen proved he is a very able indeed and was able to penetrate even the most devious checks, the ones that confused the younger and more virile FRB’s, and was the first to impregnate the on-on party with his presence. He also proved to be very wily by ensuring that he had at least a 400 m. advantage before calling “on-on.” Excellent hash behavior indeed! The walkers had their fair share of adventures too. Curly Beaver whose parents had flown in from the American version of City of Angels just for the hash were enjoying the trail until Curly Beaver decided it was time to start running – in the wrong direction! Blindly following, CB’s parents and all the other walkers took the same wrong turn, went right through an X and were heading towards Wieng Chai until WB realized that ¾ of his guests weren’t going to show up at the party unless he took drastic action. So he mobilized a rescue squad by commandeering Santa’s sleigh (conveniently parked on his roof) to set the errant hashers in the right direction. Luckily Rudolph’s red nose was able to cut through the fog and save the day.

The circle turned out to be one of the shortest circles in hash history as the newly elected GM Able Semen was only able to give 3 splashes – one for the hares, one for the cooks and one for the virgins – before the temptation of getting a present from Santa proved too much and the circle was quickly closed. (However Shocking did use his brief circle time to ‘flog a dead horse” to everyone’s amusement.)

Behind the scenes there was some confusion as to who would play the role of Santa for the gift exchange (since the real Santa was away trying to find his stolen sleigh.) Assuming that the slight Namron would make an appropriate Santa, Shocking and Wirgin Bluce pointed him to the red suit and Wild Woman even offered her personal pillow as a stomach stuffer. However since Namron was stone sober and there were no vixen elves in sight, he used his FRB skills and quickly made himself scarce. The ever astute Wirgin Bluce had already recognized that this situation might occur and had three other potential Santas lined up including Do It Yourself, Sore Ass I Has and Special Needs but these veteran hashers also knew what was in store and were able to extricate themselves from this potentially warm and uncomfortable situation. So after suitably lubricating the virgin hasher Walter with alcohol and promises of sugar plum fairies and leggy rein “dears”, WB finally found a victim. Santa entered the party to a big round of applause and assuming he was the guest of honor was completely unprepared to be affronted by the young boys No Name, Ranger Danger and Buffalo Bill who were OD’ing on the sugary sweets served by Wild Woman. They called Santa a fake and tried to pull off his beard to expose the fraud they were sure they were witnessing. Santa’s only weapon was the bag of presents in his grasp and the threats of not receiving a gift soon had the rowdy boys back in line. Curly Beaver also assisted by baiting the little terrors, having them play chase through the estate.

For the sake of brevity the scribe will end the report here but in conclusion WB and Wild Woman had a very successful hash, even though they never got to show off the Gangnam Style dance steps they had been practicing. And if you do see Santa’s lost sleigh please report it to the local authorities as soon as possible because Christmas is only 1 week away!

Scribed by: Namron

Edited December 19, 2012 by soap