What are the age restrictions to become a monk?

[clonechen]

Hello everyone I'd like to talk about my situation first.

I am a 34 year old male, a Taiwanese, and hold both Taiwan/New Zealand citizenship.

I have practiced meditation for 3 years starting from attending S.N.GOENKA meditation course and find the happiness of tranquility transcend others.

During the three years I studied a lot of Theravada Buddhism theories and books and found these words really touch my heart and wanna go forward someday in the future.

My parents don't allow me to do that because in the Chinese tradition becoming a monk is considered passive, pessimistic and so on and I thought it is impossible for me for me to convince them.

The only thing I can do now is to remain unmarried and wait for their passing away and I thought that will happen in less than 20 years and I'll be 55 by then.

This September I went to a Thai forest monastry in Auckland which is a branch of Wat Pah Nanachat, trying to collection information and someone there told me that you can start here and they will write you a reference letter to continue your monkhood in Thailand, but ordainment will require permission from parents so I gave up that chance.

My questions are

1. If both parents passed away, are parents' permission required for ordainment?

2. Is it possible for foreigners to be ordained at the age of 50+?

Thanks.

[hookedondhamma]

Yes, it is possible for men to become ordained monks after 50.

The only issue I have seen is when monks (of any age) become unable to physically and mentally take care of themselves, resulting in their being a drain on the monastery.

As for parental permission, as long as you are dependent in them it is required somewhat (there's a story in the tripitika floating around somewhere about that ...)

Your parent's not-knowing non-withstanding, it's a good idea to let them know what you're up to.

if you come to thailand anytime soon send me a pm. There is a temple (branch of LP cha) I think you would really enjoy.

[clonechen]

Thanks man, but sadly I can't be a monk because of family reasons.

Chinese parents have very tight control over children's life, career, and perhaps marriage, therefore it is infeasible to become a monk shortly.

Both my parents live on Taiwan's government pension and there is no need for me to take care of them and just in case I have another younger brother.

Older people are very hard to change their ideas, and they say they have much more experience than you although none of them have ever been a monk or nun.

One of the reasons is because Chinese(Mahayana) buddhism is very corruptive, fraud in some way, leaving people a bad impression.

Anyway I will still wait for several years and if this still doesn't work, then I will do exactly what buddha did 2500 years ago.

[mushroomdave]

"Chinese parents have very tight control over children's life, career, and perhaps marriage, therefore it is infeasible to become a monk shortly."

I lived in Taiwan for 14 years (before coming to Thailand this year) and know what you are saying about the parents having tight control of your life.........and when people ask me about the good & bad of my time in Taiwan over this span, i always say this is one one of the worst things I hated about the culture/people.

"You" need to take control of "your" life......if your parents/family really love you, they will support you. It will be too late waiting for them to pass......and in the meantime what do you do??...Just wait and brood????......go ahead.

I took control of my life and never looked back......and my family still is there and loves me.

[thailandbeachisland]

Bless you ! We need more people like you <3

[H1w4yR1da]

Hello everyone I'd like to talk about my situation first.

I am a 34 year old male, a Taiwanese

Thanks man, but sadly I can't be a monk because of family reasons.

Chinese parents have very tight control over children's life, career, and perhaps marriage

34 years old and still a child?

Anyway, if you join the Thai monkhood, don't expect to remain analy retentive for long, due to the high instances of forced homosexuality.

Edited December 25, 2013 by H1w4yR1da

[Docno]

Hello everyone I'd like to talk about my situation first.

I am a 34 year old male, a Taiwanese

Thanks man, but sadly I can't be a monk because of family reasons.

Chinese parents have very tight control over children's life, career, and perhaps marriage

34 years old and still a child?

Anyway, if you join the Thai monkhood, don't expect to remain analy retentive for long, due to the high instances of forced homosexuality.

Where do you get this claim from?

[burlap]

I have heard it's illegal to ordain if you're older than 59. The govt. doesn't want people using monasteries as free retirement homes.

[khaowong1]

Hello everyone I'd like to talk about my situation first.

I am a 34 year old male, a Taiwanese

Thanks man, but sadly I can't be a monk because of family reasons.

Chinese parents have very tight control over children's life, career, and perhaps marriage

34 years old and still a child?

Anyway, if you join the Thai monkhood, don't expect to remain analy retentive for long, due to the high instances of forced homosexuality.

Are you just stupid or are you a "special" stupid?

[khaowong1]

I have heard it's illegal to ordain if you're older than 59. The govt. doesn't want people using monasteries as free retirement homes.

Not true.. There are many people who ordain after 60 or so, even 70. If the temple thinks you are sincere, they will ordain you. The Govt. has nothing to do with it.

[Smiles]

Hello everyone I'd like to talk about my situation first.

I am a 34 year old male, a Taiwanese

Thanks man, but sadly I can't be a monk because of family reasons.

Chinese parents have very tight control over children's life, career, and perhaps marriage

34 years old and still a child?

Anyway, if you join the Thai monkhood, don't expect to remain analy retentive for long, due to the high instances of forced homosexuality.

Total rubbish!

There might be cases and if you are referring to Op , he is OLD enough to take care of himself.

[clonechen]

Believe or not, Chinese parents see their children as pets as long as they're alive.

They say something like "I know what's good for you, so just do it." or "The salt I've take is more the rice you've."

There are reasons for this, both historical and cultural.

The Chinese history are basically repeated stories of dynasties being overthrown every 100 to 300 years and another heir kingdom took over. At the end of each period, famine, war, plague and natural disaster took place.

If you're not risk-evasive, you would've suffered first which makes Chinese people very conservative.

Confucianism which dominates the Chinese history enforce ranks and therefore divisions among people.

Although young people have a tendency to get away from this tradition, it takes time.

Westerners in some way are lucky because they are considered independent after 16, but for Chinese, this may not be true at the age of 61 as long as your parents are still alive.

You are independent in law of course, but far from "make decision and be responsible for yourself" unless all your parents, grandparents and older brothers died.

Another story is Gautama Buddha himself.

He can't tell his father about his decision to become a monk beforehand.

If he does, he would've been prisoned in the palace until the day he takes the throne.

Please respect cultural difference anyway.

[3in1coffee]

I was involved very actively in volunterring myself few yearly ago, in one of the meditation centre in Singapore, and my brother is still very actively assisting Pa Auk Sayadew, very renounce monk from Myanmar and well know for his systematic meditation teaching. From what I know I think age is not a problem, however your physical condition may hinder you if you i monkshood. Although I know many monks of old age usually have certain medical condition, but mostly are still having very strong mind and determination. Pa Auk Sayadew have many centre and monastery in South East Asia countries. If you keen to practise as law person is fine too if you are not ready to ordain.

If you keen I can introduce my brother to you and you can ask him whatever you have in mind. He is with Pa Auk Sayadew in San Fransico most of the time. (http://paauktawyausa.org)

吉祥法師開示. Pa Auk Sayadaw at taiwan

Pa Auk Meditation Center

[Ragz]

Wat Pah Nanachat has an age limit of 'about fifty years'.

http://www.watpahnanachat.org/ordaining.php

[sirchai]

Hello everyone I'd like to talk about my situation first.

I am a 34 year old male, a Taiwanese

Thanks man, but sadly I can't be a monk because of family reasons.

Chinese parents have very tight control over children's life, career, and perhaps marriage

34 years old and still a child?

Anyway, if you join the Thai monkhood, don't expect to remain analy retentive for long, due to the high instances of forced homosexuality.

Are you just stupid or are you a "special" stupid?

He's a not being forced to be that special stupid and retarded. Or maybe a birth accident, not enough oxygen...- .

Edited December 26, 2013 by sirchai

[harrry]

If the Buddah had done what his parents wanted would this discussion even be happening?

[pacceka]

Come to Thailand and study Vipasanna at any of the wats that offer instruction. There are many, each with a different style. You are a man. You do not need your parents permission. This about your personal search for liberation. Do not imprison yourself further with your parent's doctrine on life. If you want to do this, just do. If you want to pontificate about cultural expectations, then you are missing the point. :-D

[ingvar]

I have done a few 10 day courses with Goenka, And I would recommend you pursue that path to enlightenment rather than trying to become a monk in Thailand, unless you join one of those sincere temples that actually practice real vipassana meditation as prescribed by Buddha.

There are many ways to get more and more involved in the Goenka path, finally becoming a teacher. To become a monk is just a display of commitment although it helps you to focus because you are supposed to abandon all your earthly belongings and so on. But if your ultimate goal is becoming more enlightened I think this can be achieved without becoming a monk.

[Bkungbank]

Thai Buddhism are different you can have short monkhood they merit can given to your parents dead or alive

because without this body we are noting in this world. Theravada, Mahayana, Zen or Tibetan Buddhism all are the same

depend on we which one to choose from.

We don't need to wait as when you going to die is still a question?

[clonechen]

Life is suffering.

Suffering is something which happens yet meets your expectation.

I wonder what is the meaning of being born into this world.

This year something happened to my cousin.

He's 44 years old right now, unmarried and resigned from a stable job from the public government sector this July because he has saved roughly 750,000 USD which he says that's enough.

He wanna find a cheaper place in Taiwan and make a living by investment. Since he's the only son, he's very likely to inherit property from his parents in the future which I estimate to be approximately 2,500,000 USD.

He has been in that job after graduation from university, but he doesn't like it at all. The reason why he stayed in that position is because of his family's expectation and he's not quite sure what he shall do.

His resignation caused a storm in his family, although none of his parents require his support, either financially or physically.

He is all right with his decision of course, but both his parents are extremely worried. One of them even attempted to commit suicide.

If that's the response when one's parents are still able to see their kid everyday, I wonder what would happen if I go for the forest tradition in a remote country?

[weary]

Here is my advice to you. Of course it is just another person's opinion. Ultimately, trust your own wisdom because even if it proves wrong you have learned something.

Gradually and gently meet your parents resistance with polite persistence, a bit like regularly falling drops of water gradually will wear a hole in a hard material given enough time. If your parents are like ice, they will appear hard at first, but it won't take long for a hole to form. If they are like rock, you will see no progress for a long time, but eventually there will still be results.

As long as you carefully think over your motives for this desire, present them well to your parents, always maintain your mental calm and show them in a concrete way that meditation is helping you improve as a person, making you stronger, more loving, more relaxed - they will understand. They will understand because by displaying mature behaviour, you show them you are grown up, independent and capable as well as deserving of living your own life. They will understand because they love you, and with the right nourishment, that love will wither away their egos and fear, even if these forces are greater at this point in time.

This understanding can not be forced, so be gentle and gradual. Arrange your life so that you can practice as much mindfulness and meditation as possible, while not neglecting your necessary duties or withdrawing from contact with your parents or others to an excessive degree. The more mindfulness you practice in all situations, the more it will become your habit, like second nature. Your daily sittings will also provide progress on the path and give you better knowledge of yourself, wisdom and stability.

So even if they do not let you go until they die, you will still have spent as much as you can of your life (one way of looking at it is 'all of your life' because you are also acting out of respect and love for your parents) cultivating the qualities we are seeking by following the path.