Amazing....again !

[BlackArtemis]

I wrote this in another thread.

But a monk was visiting my school and asked if anyone knows why we Wai and bow to the monks outside of a temple and not the Buddha image.

A P1 boy raises his hand and says "Because the Buddha isn't real, and you are" Everyone including the monk had a laugh.

The real reason? Because Monks must cover their shoulder when outside of their temple, and they must have their shoulder exposed to wai to the Buddha image. So when monks are visiting a place with an image, the people bow to the monks.

[Big Pinkie]

I wrote this in another thread.

But a monk was visiting my school and asked if anyone knows why we Wai and bow to the monks outside of a temple and not the Buddha image.

A P1 boy raises his hand and says "Because the Buddha isn't real, and you are" Everyone including the monk had a laugh.

The real reason? Because Monks must cover their shoulder when outside of their temple, and they must have their shoulder exposed to wai to the Buddha image. So when monks are visiting a place with an image, the people bow to the monks.

hmm i dont wai to anyone ,at all

[weegee]

Probably if you think about it....Being a teacher here in Thailand must bring heaps of laughs at times.....

Electricians, plumbers, builders from home countries.......must be hysterical at what they see, sometimes....but as long

as they pass on the knowledge....no probs

[benalibina]

Joined Badoo 3 weeks ago.....to get confirmed something....with a fake profile.....chatted with many girls....with a couple of them got into the "sexy talk"....2 of them really appeared to like me after couple of days....felt guilt about playing them......wrote to them....why i was on Badoo and not living in thailand.....expected them to be angry and cut contact with me.......to my surprise they keep in touch with me via other social media... and write to me that they love me??.....upon asking.....they replied that they like an honest man......funny girls those thai creatures from buddha.....they are as lost as me.....lol.

[Big Pinkie]

Joined Badoo 3 weeks ago.....to get confirmed something....with a fake profile.....chatted with many girls....with a couple of them got into the "sexy talk"....2 of them really appeared to like me after couple of days....felt guilt about playing them......wrote to them....why i was on Badoo and not living in thailand.....expected them to be angry and cut contact with me.......to my surprise they keep in touch with me via other social media... and write to me that they love me??.....upon asking.....they replied that they like an honest man......funny girls those thai creatures from buddha.....they are as lost as me.....lol.

was that love you short time or permanent ( i.e. the whole night)?

[benalibina]

Joined Badoo 3 weeks ago.....to get confirmed something....with a fake profile.....chatted with many girls....with a couple of them got into the "sexy talk"....2 of them really appeared to like me after couple of days....felt guilt about playing them......wrote to them....why i was on Badoo and not living in thailand.....expected them to be angry and cut contact with me.......to my surprise they keep in touch with me via other social media... and write to me that they love me??.....upon asking.....they replied that they like an honest man......funny girls those thai creatures from buddha.....they are as lost as me.....lol.

was that love you short time or permanent ( i.e. the whole night)?

As i am not interested....i will never know....will i ? But if i may guess.....for a lifetime ....

[BlackArtemis]

Probably if you think about it....Being a teacher here in Thailand must bring heaps of laughs at times.....

Electricians, plumbers, builders from home countries.......must be hysterical at what they see, sometimes....but as long

as they pass on the knowledge....no probs

The boy who responded was Australian. I teach a diverse mix of students, so I get to see and hear funny things all the time. Whether it is ESL kids being comical or international students trying to adjust to a new culture. Sometimes just hearing things from their perspective can be hilarious and even thought provoking and insightful. Choosing a career in education and getting the proper certs has been one of the best decisions of my life.

[weegee]

r it

Probably if you think about it....Being a teacher here in Thailand must bring heaps of laughs at times.....

Electricians, plumbers, builders from home countries.......must be hysterical at what they see, sometimes....but as long

as they pass on the knowledge....no probs

The boy who responded was Australian. I teach a diverse mix of students, so I get to see and hear funny things all the time. Whether it is ESL kids being comical or international students trying to adjust to a new culture. Sometimes just hearing things from their perspective can be hilarious and even thought provoking and insightful. Choosing a career in education and getting the proper certs has been one of the best decisions of my life.

Go for it.......Im retired now, so I suppose I am just one of those cranky old blokes, who couldn't go through handling kids being around all day....again.

[harrry]

OK....driving back from shopping on a busy road outside the town....like reliving an experience elsewhere in another country previously...

Motor bike....naturally driving too fast and weaving in and out traffic....flew past me and soon after, we passed him standing on the side of the road with the front frame wheel and all, supported by his right arm and thigh....the rest lay in a trench (newly dug) along the side of the road....He apparent hit the trench, broke off the front wheel (frame), and was standing there stunned as we passed by.

Mate, you know I'm a Fan but ...

How is a witnessed Motorcycle Accident funny ...

I'm just happy that you can report that the rider wasn't seriously injured.

I thought it was funny. A dick head in the weeds is .

The only time it's not quite so funny is when it's you (as in the 1st person) that's the <deleted> in the weeds. Especially when you're driven back to the pits in the recue truck with weeds hanging out the back of your helmet, covered in mud, with 18 pieces of your bike clutched to your chest, and you know that EVERYBODY knows you were stupid to try and pass the girl on the pink GSXR on the outside of a 100klm bend at 120klm.

Don't ask me how I know.

Some people will do anything to get the girl in the pink gsxr phone number.

Edited December 30, 2013 by harrry

[MJP]

Okay, it's a shame I can't post it here as it's tricky to describe quite how dangerously funny it is to look at.

A Swedish bloke up the road got married to a girl who's a very decent sort.

The traditional marriage photos were duly taken and then (and I know a bit about this) "post-processed" using software that can only be described as revolutionary in the photography and imaging world.

They managed to twist his face to a sort of seedy/geeky look, like he'd had something shoved up there if you can picture this, and they dropped her lower jaw by about an inch and a half. Now of course he's stood up and she's sat down . . . I don't need to go on do I?

Very close that day to a full on coronary.

[Shancloudy]

This is one of my funniest story that I would like to share here.

Classroom setting:

Advertising subject ( students are 16-19 years old)

I was sitting in the classroom waiting to my spoiled brat students. Until one student came inside I asked him where are your classmates? He said obviously they are late.

Student: Ms. Shancloudy I have a quantum pendant here in my bag and I want to promote it to you using an advertising strategy.

Me: Ok let me see the quantum pendant.

Student: This is the quantum pendant utilizes specialized quantum physics and vibration to help synergize the power of the human body's bio-energy system.

And he holds my hand to put the quantum in my hand. Stop!!! You're not allowed to hold me. He said he just wanted to put the quantum in my hand. I told him you can put it on the table and I will get it. ( He laughed so loud )

Student: Are you scared?

Me: No

Student: Why are you blushing?

Me: No, I'm not. Ok, sit down and read your book I will give a quiz after 15 minutes.

The next day classroom setting again the same students.

I am standing in front of the class while I'm teaching and I noticed that some boys are not listening to me and playing something.

Me: What's that?

4 Students: You don't know this? They laughed. It's a condom.

Hhhmmmmm why are you blushing again Ms. Shancloudy you look so innocent. I guess you know everything in the books but you don't know one thing....

I told them of course I know everything then I asked the girls.

Girls could you please give me a tissue paper? Then the girls are rushing to find a tissue paper in their bag.

Ok let me see your condom I want to hold it..... Ohhh well, looks very small is this your size? ( all girls are laughing to him ). And I asked him so why are you blushing? Is it true.?

Edited December 31, 2013 by Shancloudy

[Cam Khao]

For me it just has to be what happened to me at the party to celebrate my SIL finally getting the government job she had been after for years.

Typical Thai street party, and of course, the 100 or so people in attendance couldn't be bothered to use the bathroom, so they used a convenient ditch that runs along the road next to the house.

A ditch that I subsequently fell in to after drinking one too many glasses of Johnny Walker.

[joboss]

Watching four blokes and two women move a pile of sand through a fence to for a little building project next door, using scrapers and hoes.

It took two days, but two Kiwi's with one shovel and two wheelbarrows could have done it in 4 hours. Why don't Thais understand the concept of wheeled technology for manually moving <deleted>?

Nevertheless, provided me with a lot of entertainment which began when the dump truck deposited it outside the wrong house........mine.

And you didn't offer them a wheelbarrow?

Don't you know it was your fault because your house was "there"

[Card]

Hmmmmmmmmm, Thai folk applauded my singing.............

Must have felt so sorry for you.

[Card]

For me it just has to be what happened to me at the party to celebrate my SIL finally getting the government job she had been after for years.

Typical Thai street party, and of course, the 100 or so people in attendance couldn't be bothered to use the bathroom, so they used a convenient ditch that runs along the road next to the house.

A ditch that I subsequently fell in to after drinking one too many glasses of Johnny Walker.

If you have drunk Thai whiskey, you wouldn't have noticed anything, anywhere.

[lucifer666]

A furniture shop opened near where i live, called HOMELESS. I still smile to myself whenever i pass.

[sunshine51]

I was making breakfast and having a rare slice of toast.

The young kid from next door, maybe 5 or 6 years old always hangs around.

He's got no father figure, so I'm the occasional role model (poor kid ... will need counselling later).

So (back to the toast bit) ... the funniest thing was watching his expression change from that of a

big happy kid to, after licking the knife, his whole world was opened up to a new taste experience ...

Vegemite ... poor bugger, almost cried ...

.

Lucky for him it wasn't Marmite!

You may be stronger than us at cricket (at the moment), but Vegemite will always be a weak substitute for the real thing.

Yeah...when ya gotta grease the gears it's always better to use axle grease than Vegemite...

[sunshine51]

What?.....nothing humorous going on in Thailand......what about you old grumpies out there? Time to share your laughs. Surely you have had one laugh this year.

Well....I've had at least 365 giggles this year....mostly from reading through threads

on TVF.

[harrry]

Funniest thing seen all year...walking into a bookshop and seeing a Thai cookbook called "cooking with poo"

Honestly have to say....I have said it tastes like it,

Written by a Malasian cook though I think the food cooked by the Poo at the top of thai politics would taste pretty bad.

Edited December 31, 2013 by harrry

[bonobo]

Funniest thing seen all year...walking into a bookshop and seeing a Thai cookbook called "cooking with poo"

This book has been written up in the Western press, both for the recipes as well as the name of the book.

[BudRight]

A motorbike taxi driver asked me my profession during a trip. I told him I was a warlock. Soon after, it began to rain and we took shelter under a tree. He started to put on his plastic poncho, but I declined. He insisited; I told him I didn't need it. When the rain stopped, not long after, we resumed the journey. Just before we arrived at my destination, he asked 'Are you really a warlock?'

'It stopped raining, didn't it?' I replied.

When I paid him he took the hundred baht note and scrutinized it like it might disappear out of his hands...

Edited December 31, 2013 by BudRight

[umbanda]

On my village street I saw a furious fight between 2 big dogs...many other dogs around....and a small cat seated close enjoying the show.....

I know that Thai dogs and Thai people respect cats...and I took very interesting pictures about....This time I didn't have my camera to shoot a very funny video...

[cbluck58]

YINGLUCK trying to govern and SUTHEP pretending to believe in democracy...

[harrry]

Masterchef Australia had a strong contestant who has a called Poh who has a Thai mother and I thought there was another TV cook in malasia called Poo but aparently the auther of this one is Thai.

[AlphMichaels]

How about this. A older blind man with a big grin on his face, walking with a limp & feeler cane ("one-legged blind man".., ??) being escorted by a tall ladyboy down Soi 11 with at around 6AM back in October?

I laughed so hard I had to stop and catch my breath. I am NOT JOKING!!!

[weegee]

What?.....nothing humorous going on in Thailand......what about you old grumpies out there? Time to share your laughs. Surely you have had one laugh this year.

Well....I've had at least 365 giggles this year....mostly from reading through threads

on TVF.

The thread that has brought a giggle to me, from a member on here, was the one about nearly burning the village down with fireworks....still laugh when I think about it while lighting up those rockets.....I enjoy communicating with him frequently, as that was a funny side of being in Thailand....I don't think he does fireworks anymore...

[krisb]

I was making breakfast and having a rare slice of toast.

The young kid from next door, maybe 5 or 6 years old always hangs around.

He's got no father figure, so I'm the occasional role model (poor kid ... will need counselling later).

So (back to the toast bit) ... the funniest thing was watching his expression change from that of a

big happy kid to, after licking the knife, his whole world was opened up to a new taste experience ...

Vegemite ... poor bugger, almost cried ...

.

Lucky for him it wasn't Marmite!

You may be stronger than us at cricket (at the moment), but Vegemite will always be a weak substitute for the real thing.

I have never heard a song saying we're happy little Marmites

Reason why is it just won't make you happy.

Look...

Vegemite

Marmite

Still beats Promite I suppose. Just.

[weegee]

Promite.....my god....do they still sell that??????????....more like melted tar off the road

[bra]

In a dentist's window in Ratchada Soi 3 "have your teeth beached here". I know that Thais, like most Asians, have problems pronouncing "L" but this is the first time I have seen written confirmation.

To be fair I should add my hilarious (well to my GF and her friends) attempts at speaking Thai. However whenever I ask what was so funny they just say its the way you are saying it not what you are saying which makes no sense at all.

Happy New Year to all!

[NVass]

I was in the food hall in the basement of Central Chidlom a few months back. There was a very Hiso Thai Girl looking girl dressed to the nines with her high heels Guess Bag and what looked like a nice pair of shorts and white T Shirt. Quite stunning from behind. However, I guess she couldn't speak a word of English because when she turned round on the front of her T Shirt it said " Muff Divers Club, No Muff too Tuff". I laughed so hard she gave me a really filthy look, but it was worth it.