The Ladies Forum

[ourmanflint]

Guys, please leave this forum to the ladies.

There's 50 other forums on TV........ stay out of this one.

Thank you.

SBK... Udon...

I am not a macho mans man, I hate football, can't stand the way most idiots on TV treat women, I like to participate in the ladies forum, because it is just that little bit ( actually a lot) more intellectual than any of the other forums.

I always thought that the ladies here were more than capable of dealing with the neanderthals that hang around.

I shall be silent until I can hold it in no more

[Wolfie]

Dont worry ourmanflint, as SBK said, sensible contributions are welcome (and encouraged) its the idiots that try to verbally slap down the ladies that will get a kicking.

(and if theres anything left by the time the ladies have finished with them, i'm sure the rest of the mod team will have formed an orderly queue )

[p1p]

As another (male) Moderator on TV, I would just like to add my voice to the above and note that we will all now be keeping a much closer eye on the ladies forum in future, with a view to ensuriung that it remains chauvanist-idiot free!

No male should post unless he has information of genuine help to the subject of the thread. Snide asides, attempts to be clever or assert a male viewpoint when not specifically requested will, like as not, be deleted and rewarded with "holiday time."

So guys - you are warned.

[gisele]

Thank you so much guys

[britmaveric]

Kat - I wouldn't exactly say the forum is dominated by men who are hostile to western ladies. I think for the most part we lads are thoughtful, well meaning and assets to any section of the forum including the ladies section. Sure there are knobs out there, but I'd like to point out they are everywhere on the forum and taking action accordingly is the best method.

Typically I don't separate forum sections - I read/reply to what interests me and sometimes that happens to be in the ladies forum. (very lovely and tranquil place for the most part)

[HarryHerb]

Kat - I wouldn't exactly say the forum is dominated by men who are hostile to western ladies. I think for the most part we lads are thoughtful, well meaning and assets to any section of the forum including the ladies section. Sure there are knobs out there, but I'd like to point out they are everywhere on the forum and taking action accordingly is the best method.

Typically I don't separate forum sections - I read/reply to what interests me and sometimes that happens to be in the ladies forum. (very lovely and tranquil place for the most part)

I think the minority of hostile men are not really the problem here - as you say they can easily be dealt with - but sometimes we just want a girly chat (a la 'do you fancy Keanu Reeves? I really do' thread currently on-going) without men putting in their 2 Baht on whether we are right or wrong, how our choices reflect our personalities, or commenting generally on the state of male - female relationships in the modern world.

This doesn't mean you can't participate at all - but use some judgement: if a topic is obviously one for the girls, than leave it alone. If, on the other hand you are willing and able to give advice on where to get a good bikini wax, then by all means feel free to chime in.

[seonai]

I know it would be so difficult but us gals in the south, sorry cos that's where I am, should try to have a 'gals' night sometimes. Beer, wine, snacks, chit chat gossip, men talk........

[Sir Burr]

Double post.

Edited May 19, 2006 by Sir Burr

[Sir Burr]

You want privacy on an internet forum?? Don't be silly.

So, any male whos point of view is not acceptable is gonna be in trouble. Smacks of censorship to me. No other forum is run this way.

A case of "were're equal but we want to be treated differently"?

If you truly want to chat with your mates in private, why don't you use MSN or ICQ?

Seems like males are going to have to tread on egg shells here. I can't be arsed.

I'll read but I won't post.

Flame away ladies.

Edited May 19, 2006 by Sir Burr

[HarryHerb]

You want privacy on an internet forum?? Don't be silly.

No, but some basic respect would be nice.

So, any male person whose point of view is not acceptable who is offensive is gonna be in trouble. Smacks of censorship to me. Does it? No other forum is run this way. Actually, every other forum is run this way.

Seems like males are going to have to tread on egg shells here. Why? Speak your mind and let others judge, like everywhere else. I can't be arsed.

I'll read but I won't post. So I guess you won't reply to this then?

Flame away ladies. Actually, we're trying to put the fires out...

[yarpy]

Well even if all men are not banned from this section I certainly should be as I only ever really post to make a joke, which I find funny but perhaps you don't, or when I just have to object to another 'all western men who live in Thailand hate me for no reason and everyone who lives in Pattaya should be deported' thread. So in the meantime I will ban myself.

But the answer is obvious. A women only forum, which whilst not a computer expert would be I assume easily achieved by some sort of filtering, you could also I assume add in the men you like as sort of honorary females for this purpose, balanced by a men only forum where we can let rip about what we really think of western women, and no the rest of this forum is not automatically a male dominated forum.

An example of this arose some time ago I remember. There was a 'what do you think of westren men' thread on the Laddies section but when a male opened a 'what do you think of Western women' thread in another section it was immediately deleted and the member disappeared I assume banned.

I will propose this to board admin.

[HarryHerb]

A case of "were're equal but we want to be treated differently"?

If you truly want to chat with your mates in private, why don't you use MSN or ICQ?

You added this on, so I'll respond to this too.

We're not equal on this forum though, are we? In terms of numbers I'd hazard that men outnumber women here at least 20 to 1. So why do you begrudge us our own little corner?

There are 40+ forums (fora?) on Thai Visa where you (and everyone else) can vent, philosophise and tell dirty jokes to your heart's content. And you bitch about one where the rules are slightly different? Give us a break.

a men only forum where we can let rip about what we really think of western women

I will propose this to board admin.

Why don't you save yourself the bother and go direct to the shrink?

[Totster]

Well... this topic certainly got very chivalrous !

*runs off into the distance before he gets a kick...*

totster

[HarryHerb]

Well... this topic certainly got very chivalrous !

*runs off into the distance before he gets a kick...*

totster

Not quite the gallant knight in shining armour we ladies are supposed to be waiting for, eh?

Anyway, at the risk of this turning into a monologue, I have come up with a couple of suggestions, as sbk originally asked for. They're not much, but they are the best I can think of without resorting to banning people, which IMO is wrong.

1) Change the name of this forum to Girl Talk / Girls' Talk / Girlie Chat

Anything that will make clear the nature of the subject matter and the characteristics of the discussion therein. This type of title is slightly self-deprecating, but it has the advantage of having a whiff of the kind of 'periods - eye make-up - babies' type of hysterical cackling that makes most meatheads run a mile. Those men who secretly enjoy reading women's mags, on the other hand, will not be put off at all. I think the current name 'Ladies in Thailand' is rather more open to interpretation, and thus attracts the wrong kind of people.

2) Prevent threads from this forum appearing in 'View New Posts'

Part of the problem is, as I think Brit said, people just spotting juicy-looking title topics in View New Posts and jumping in to comment. Many of them may not even realise they are in the Ladies Forum and making inappropriate comments. If technically this is possible, then it would mean interested members actively have to seek out new posts here, by entering via the front page - which makes it clear where they are, and also gives them an opportunity to read the guidelines.

I'll shut up now too.

[donna]

i dont think that the MAJORITY of men on the forum are slagging us off. its just that the ones that DO slag us off do it in such a way that ALL men get the bad name.

most of you blokes on this forum are thoughtful, sincere and very kind.

on behalf of many users of the ladies forum, i would like to thank the majority i have referred to above for your support during this particular topic.

to the rest of you, sod off and keep your stupid opinions to yourself.

[gisele]

Well... this topic certainly got very chivalrous !

*runs off into the distance before he gets a kick...*

totster

Not quite the gallant knight in shining armour we ladies are supposed to be waiting for, eh?

Anyway, at the risk of this turning into a monologue, I have come up with a couple of suggestions, as sbk originally asked for. They're not much, but they are the best I can think of without resorting to banning people, which IMO is wrong.

1) Change the name of this forum to Girl Talk / Girls' Talk / Girlie Chat

Anything that will make clear the nature of the subject matter and the characteristics of the discussion therein. This type of title is slightly self-deprecating, but it has the advantage of having a whiff of the kind of 'periods - eye make-up - babies' type of hysterical cackling that makes most meatheads run a mile. Those men who secretly enjoy reading women's mags, on the other hand, will not be put off at all. I think the current name 'Ladies in Thailand' is rather more open to interpretation, and thus attracts the wrong kind of people.

2) Prevent threads from this forum appearing in 'View New Posts'

Part of the problem is, as I think Brit said, people just spotting juicy-looking title topics in View New Posts and jumping in to comment. Many of them may not even realise they are in the Ladies Forum and making inappropriate comments. If technically this is possible, then it would mean interested members actively have to seek out new posts here, by entering via the front page - which makes it clear where they are, and also gives them an opportunity to read the guidelines.

I'll shut up now too.

I think this is a good suggestion,

I wonder what first comes to mind when someone gets "Ladies in thailand" as one of the results from googling.

I know I have posted in some community forums only realising later my response didn't apply to the thread (i.e. what foods are hard to get, then I see it was the Chiang Mai forum, oops)

so if it was possible to do that it would be nice

[Boo]

This name gets the most hits on the search engines, we were previously farang girls in thailand & it attracted too many trolls, we also wanted the name to emphasis that this is for both Thai & western women not just western women. Not sure if it would be possible to remove this section from the new posts search but I will ask admin to look into it.

[meme]

Well... this topic certainly got very chivalrous !

*runs off into the distance before he gets a kick...*

totster

Not quite the gallant knight in shining armour we ladies are supposed to be waiting for, eh?

Anyway, at the risk of this turning into a monologue, I have come up with a couple of suggestions, as sbk originally asked for. They're not much, but they are the best I can think of without resorting to banning people, which IMO is wrong.

1) Change the name of this forum to Girl Talk / Girls' Talk / Girlie Chat[/u]

Anything that will make clear the nature of the subject matter and the characteristics of the discussion therein. This type of title is slightly self-deprecating, but it has the advantage of having a whiff of the kind of 'periods - eye make-up - babies' type of hysterical cackling that makes most meatheads run a mile. Those men who secretly enjoy reading women's mags, on the other hand, will not be put off at all. I think the current name 'Ladies in Thailand' is rather more open to interpretation, and thus attracts the wrong kind of people.

2) Prevent threads from this forum appearing in 'View New Posts'

Part of the problem is, as I think Brit said, people just spotting juicy-looking title topics in View New Posts and jumping in to comment. Many of them may not even realise they are in the Ladies Forum and making inappropriate comments. If technically this is possible, then it would mean interested members actively have to seek out new posts here, by entering via the front page - which makes it clear where they are, and also gives them an opportunity to read the guidelines.

I'll shut up now too.

I hear what your saying HH about changing the name. But I think 'girlie talk' would conjure up pictures of girls in their panties having pillow fights. Which may attract more of the types we are trying to filter out. Perhaps if we named it: "vaginas, menstartion and motherhood in Thailand" that may scare them off!! But then again that may scare all you decent guys off too, so bad idea!!

[sbk]

Just curious, is there anyone here who wants a female only forum?

I certainly don't and didn't mean to imply that I did. I just found rereading past threads that every single one of them was filled with men posting their opinions on issues and either blasting a woman who dared post an opposing opinion or flaming the female poster as being misandrist. It felt to me that this was turning into "the what men think ladies should think" forum, and hence my original post.

I personally think that the inclusion of men is fine, just so long as they understand this isn't their forum but one we are willing to share. Do I play favorites amongst the male posters? I hope not, but certainly there are male posters who are preferred. But if a man is grumbling about forum favorites that may be because 1)he isn't one and 2) the ones who are preferred are the ones who can post intelligently and with humor without being degrading, abusive or controlling.

[gisele]

what I would like would be a forum where people can be "girlfriends", where one can discuss, vent, share, co-miserate, console, encourage, support without negativity and put downs.

I don't venture much in the Bedlam, jokes or most other forums anymore because I expect to be flamed, and basically told I am wrong. 2 years ago I tried something, I gave the same opinion on one forum as somebody else's who happens to be a male poster, my post was put down, some guy even did a search to prove I was wrong, yet the other guy who put exactly the same thing, was approved, congratulated for his keeness.

I didn't feel like posting much elsewhere after that since it wasn't worth it.

But posting in the Ladies forum, that should be worth it, shouldn't it?

[rio666uk]

as a matter of course i tend to stay well away from the ladies forum and have done since becoming a TV member - purely because i dont feel particularly welcome posting there - unless i have something directly applicable to the topic...

in an ideal world - men could post what they like to everyone else without fear of upsetting the women, and women would do the same -

however this is afterall an online community and to separate the opinions, of men or women, into their own forum is futile in keeping the community as a whole alive.

its a shame that the ladies feel as though their subforum is likely to be trawled by males looking to start an argument or windup the ladies but thats the way it is - its an open forum and unfortunately for the ladies a primarily male dominated forum - any group is gonna have its <deleted>

i am in no way saying that the ladies should be attacked or have their women related threads exploited by men but i wouldnt think it was out of the ordinary given the amount of members here

there is also a "report offensive post" button to click if you have a problem

online communities require moderation - alot of moderation - there are plenty of male and female moderators here - so moderate....

Edited May 21, 2006 by rio666uk

[meemiathai]

in an ideal world - men could post what they like to everyone else without fear of upsetting the women, and women would do the same -

The General Topics Forum is an ideal enough world, I suppose.

I can't understand why. Is it that hard to leave just a small space for the girls to enjoy themselves in such a big place?

Post if everyone is happy. Isn't it as simple as that? Be a gentleman. Especially when in a Ladies Forum.

[HarryHerb]

sbk, I certainly don't think this should be a female only forum. And I don't think either that it should be open only to men who agree with what we say - after all we don't always agree with each other!

What annoys me, however, is that men quite often completely take over a thread and make it near impossible for women to carry on a discussion. Of course this happens on 99% of the other boards on Thai Visa as well - which is why the Ladies' Forum is so important.

The 'Desirable Men' thread is a case in point. This is why I thought stopping topics here from appearing in the View New Posts might work, as the sheer numbers of men on this forum mean a topic is already well underway - on their terms - by the time we women even get to see it. Because of the way the system is set up, I don't think this is necessarily the men's fault, either - although some judgement on their side from time to time would not go amiss

This is not a problem that can be moderated, rio666uk, as no individual is being out of line - but an atmosphere is created where even the OP (in the above case, Gisele) feels she can't even contribute any more to her own topic.

What can be moderated are offensive posters and general rants about (western) women - and they are.

[Sheryl]

Just curious, is there anyone here who wants a female only forum?

I certainly don't and didn't mean to imply that I did. I just found rereading past threads that every single one of them was filled with men posting their opinions on issues and either blasting a woman who dared post an opposing opinion or flaming the female poster as being misandrist. It felt to me that this was turning into "the what men think ladies should think" forum, and hence my original post.

I personally think that the inclusion of men is fine, just so long as they understand this isn't their forum but one we are willing to share. Do I play favorites amongst the male posters? I hope not, but certainly there are male posters who are preferred. But if a man is grumbling about forum favorites that may be because 1)he isn't one and 2) the ones who are preferred are the ones who can post intelligently and with humor without being degrading, abusive or controlling.

SBK,

Agree with you and Gisele. The question is, can we succeed in having a forum open to male posters without, sooner or later, sliding back into the syndrome you have both so accurately described.

If it is feasible, not appearing in the "new posts" section might indeed help. I think women and men seriously interested in what women think/say will go to the trouble of logging on the Ladies Forum without it, and while it won't keep out all abuses it might decrease them to a level more manageable to be moderated. Keeping in mind that moderators are people with jobs & lives of their own and can't be expected to be on the forum 24/7.

If all else fails, I would prefer "Ladies Only" to what was going on before, as the lesser of the evils...but it would be a shame if we have to resort to that.

[p1p]

I personally feel tht ladies only is a bad idea for one very strong reason:

It will be a red rag to a bull for those idiots out there, who will only sign on with new nicks, claiming to be women. I believe it will make your lives more difficult, not easier.

Besides, as male mod, How could I access the Ladies only area to help you out?

[Boo]

I am 100% against a restricted forum. When I first joined TV I was one of about 3 know female posters & George kindly gave us this area to expand on. If it was restricted the it would be impossible for other women to find this place.

I think everyone needs to remeber, this is the internet, and anyone can post anything they like, it is up to us mods to restrict it & genuine posters to protect their space by not letting the trolls win. Ladies, we need to thinken our skin to the idiots & try to ignore them.

[markuk]

Well... this topic certainly got very chivalrous !

*runs off into the distance before he gets a kick...*

totster

Not quite the gallant knight in shining armour we ladies are supposed to be waiting for, eh?

first thing you dont want us men here and now you want gallant knights???

i will never understand so i will leave it alone..............

[sylvafern]

Agree with lots of the posts here. I first came across TV when I was looking for information about visa/passport stuff for my son. Only became active here a few months ago when was bored and accidentally came across TV again and noticed the ladies forum. It's nice to have somewhere to chat with other females - I don't think it should be exclusively for females, but like others have said, any man that does post in the 'Ladies' forum should do with respect and understand that when posting here, people are hoping to have a discussion with other females or get a female's point of view, not usually a man's.

[somchai jones]

Zero tolerance - and go, s "Lorena Bobbit" bk !!

Ouch!

[sbk]

Somchai, Lorena Bobbitt was 1)Central American and 2) doing it long after Thai women had already started.

So, thanks anyway for the post but it really doesn't have much to do with the topic at hand I think