The Old Man And The Dam

[Jai Dee]

An elderly man in Queensland, Australia had owned a large property for several years. He had a dam in one of the lower paddocks where he had planted mango and avocado trees. The dam had been fixed up for swimming when it was built and he also had some picnic tables placed there in the shade of the fruit trees.

One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the dam to look it over, as he hadn't been there for a while. He grabbed a ten-litre bucket to bring back some fruit.

As he neared the dam, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee.

As he came closer he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his dam. He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end.

One of the women shouted to him, "We're not coming out until you leave!"

The old man frowned, "I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the dam naked."

Holding the bucket up he said, "I'm here to feed the crocodile."

Moral: Old men may walk slowly, but they can still think fast.

[suegha]

This is very, very, good!!!

[Chopper]

Excellent.

Another joke to reinforce the above moral:

This is so true! They always ask at the doctor's office why you are there, and you have to answer in front of others what's wrong and sometimes it is embarrassing. There's nothing worse than a Doctor's Receptionist who insists you tell her what is wrong with you in a room full of other patients. I know most of us have experienced this, and I love the way this old guy handled it.

An 86 year old man walked into a crowded waiting room and approached the desk... The Receptionist said,

"Yes sir, what are you seeing the Doctor for today?"

"There's something wrong with my dick", he replied.

The receptionist became irritated and said, "You shouldn't come into a crowded waiting room and say things like that."

"Why not? You asked me what was wrong and I told you," he said.

The Receptionist replied; "Now you've caused some embarrassment in this room full of people. You should have said there is

something wrong with your ear or something and discussed the problem further with the Doctor in private."

The man replied, "You shouldn't ask people questions in a room full strangers, if the answer could embarrass anyone. The man

walked out, waited several minutes and then re-entered.

The Receptionist smiled smugly and asked, "Yes??"

"There's something wrong with my ear", he stated.

"I can't piss out of it," he replied.

The waiting room erupted in laughter.

Mess with seniors and you're gonna lose!

[skippybangkok]

Chopper, this one been posted before

[suegha]

Still made me laugh though!

[Chopper]

Chopper, this one been posted before

You're quite correct skippy a quick search revealed it was indeed posted on the 2006-05-04.

Credit the above joke to Martin.

Am I going senile? Please refrain from answering that.

[dvk1951]

Chopper, this one been posted before

You're quite correct skippy a quick search revealed it was indeed posted on the 2006-05-04.

Credit the above joke to Martin.

Am I going senile? Please refrain from answering that.

Will refrain from answering but just couldn't help but wonder if you would identify with the last line of your pre(viously)-recorded funny

[skippybangkok]

LOL... I am first in the row re- going senile !

[Pink Mist]

credit it to whoever, they were good jokes

[Chopper]

Will refrain from answering but just couldn't help but wonder if you would identify with the last line of your pre(viously)-recorded funny

dvk1951, When I am that age I will let you know.