Getting out of the bargirl / Isaan dating scene - feels great!

[chrisinth]

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(Story of the scamming teacher and teh Dutch guy)

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Only a very small percentage of women that do certain kind of thing by the way.

I agree if you're looking at the total population of Thai women. But taking the set of all Thai girls that go with farang, you REALLY think it's a "very small" percentage?

You must be joking.

Personally I think 98% are explicit sex workers by western standards.

Of the remaining 2% I think the vast majority are in a very grey area, let's just say have multiple men on the hook at a time each of which think they are the only one.

Anyone needing confirmation of the any of the above need only open a profile page on Tagged and Thai Friendly, and you will get a steady stream of thai girls, aged 20-30, who seek men of ALL AGES????? Really?????, but, not, they aren't predators, seeking prey?

and who is replying to them, WHITE MEN......and, this is disputed?

What do you think is happening in your home countries as regards to dating sites and social media? You honestly believe that this is Thailand specific?

To be perfectly honest, anyone being lazy enough to use a dating site, either is lacking in social skills or should be aware of all the possibilities of the 'tag-along'. If they are not aware, this is where the negative experiences of a few spiral out of control, and become a standard for many more gold diggers through public revelation.

That would be my view on it anyway. I know dating sites work for some, but fail for many others who, whether they consider themselves ripped-off (when they have in fact been spurned) will escalate stories to protect their damaged egos.

Sure, the rips happen, but I wonder what the true scale of this is?..................

[FiftyTwo]

Quote

Quote

(Story of the scamming teacher and teh Dutch guy)

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Only a very small percentage of women that do certain kind of thing by the way.

I agree if you're looking at the total population of Thai women. But taking the set of all Thai girls that go with farang, you REALLY think it's a "very small" percentage?

You must be joking.

Personally I think 98% are explicit sex workers by western standards.

Of the remaining 2% I think the vast majority are in a very grey area, let's just say have multiple men on the hook at a time each of which think they are the only one.

Anyone needing confirmation of the any of the above need only open a profile page on Tagged and Thai Friendly, and you will get a steady stream of thai girls, aged 20-30, who seek men of ALL AGES????? Really?????, but, not, they aren't predators, seeking prey?

and who is replying to them, WHITE MEN......and, this is disputed?

What do you think is happening in your home countries as regards to dating sites and social media? You honestly believe that this is Thailand specific?

I've always found white girls to be very age conscious of potential lovers.

So not being bothered about it, is very Thai specific.

[wym]

I bet my left nut that there isn't a single poster on this site that has been in a continuous life-time commitment with the same partner.

And I don't think any of us has one brown eye and one yellow one or has eaten the same breakfast every day for the last sixty years.

Question is, why would anyone want that?

Just because it's rare doesn't mean it's good or bad. . .

[Berkshire]

Only a very small percentage of women that do certain kind of thing by the way.

-------

Yes, very small percent of women that do certain of activity. How many women at the age between 20-50 are there in Thailand?

I think we're getting some language problems here.

I am agreeing with you that only a small percentage of the total Thai female population either

have multiple boyfriends lying to each so they think they're the only one

or

are otherwise lying and scamming for money

But I am saying out of the total number that ARE GOING WITH FARANG

that percentage is very very high.

Are you disagreeing with that statement?

I agree with you Wym, 100%. These Thai women who want to hook up with farangs, any farang regardless of age, and with whom they can barely communicate...this is not about love. The vast majority of Thai women, upwards of the 90 percentile, are just normal women looking for long term relationships like women anywhere else. But the ones who go after farangs specifically, they almost always have an agenda. This is why many farangs in Thailand find Thai women untrustworthy--it's because most of the women that farangs come in contact with are in fact untrustworthy. But the vast majority are really not like that.

[wym]

Well hold on now, that's a bit more condemnatory than I'm willing to go.

Perhaps fair enough for those that THEMSELVES actively pursue the farang, most try to conceal their motivation and play multiple partners - this last being part of the normal Thai courting process once a girl's no longer being supervised by her family, already spoiled goods by traditional values.

However I have no problem with women openly and honestly marrying for money.

It's the deception that bothers me.

And as with the many many cultures that have arranged marriages negotiated by the family for social status and economic reasons, it is very often the case that love does develop as long as both parties treat each other with honesty and respect and are genuinely committed to serving each others' happiness.

At a certain point the original transactional nature of the relationship then disappears.

And yes, that can and does happen in Thailand, even with guys that marry girls out of the sex industry.

[Lifeon]

I don't know why it is that people always say 'It's always about money in Thailand and not as bad as this at home'. I had plenty of Women at home and was married to two of them and i can tell you they all want your money no matter where 'home' may be. Holy shit; if i counted all the money i'd spent on women 'at home' i'd die of shock. Thailand is no different from anywhere else...women cost money, loads of it.

.......and they appreciate it more

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[MrWorldwide]

Why does it necessarily have to be a Thai woman anyway ? I just wonder if the 'insane jealous harpy' syndrome begins and ends with prostitutes or even poor rural gals - happy to hear that educated, financially secure Thai women don't go through their partner's phone records or email messages looking for signs that he needs to have his penis removed.

[wym]

They assume we're not that stupid, and hire PI's

[TheUsualGarbage]

The vast majority of Thai women, upwards of the 90 percentile, are just normal women looking for long term relationships like women anywhere else. But the ones who go after farangs specifically, they almost always have an agenda. This is why many farangs in Thailand find Thai women untrustworthy--it's because most of the women that farangs come in contact with are in fact untrustworthy. But the vast majority are really not like that.

Step back for a minute or two and look at what you've written

1. The vast majority of Thai women ...

2. upwards of the 90 percentile ...

3. they almost always ...

4. many farangs ...

5. the vast majority are really ...

Why do you think an educated person will read what you've written and smile?

[wym]

I'm well educated, know Thailand pretty well, and find nothing in what Berkshire wrote to smile at except in agreement.

If you disagree with any of it, please do make your case.

Edited February 18, 2014 by wym

[Scarpolo]

OP came for easy women. He probably didn´t get many at home. In Thailand he found them in great numbers and they smiled and were available for him. But he is insulted when he finds out they want money one way or another from him.

The question is why the OP:s likely lack of charm and attractivness that probably kept women of his homecountry well away from him suddenly in Thailand should have reversed to an irresistable charmer for the women. Women in Thailand and in farangcountries are basicly the same but the culture differ. A non charmer in farang country is a non charmer also for the thai ladies. But they still take him on due to economical needs. And OP is astounded and insulted of this. Give me another reason why they should care about him. In his homecountry OP is probably not considered wealthy and ladies there then have no reason to overlook his lack of charm. In Thailand he is considered wealthy by the ladies and they overlook his lack of charm. The surprising thing is that OP doesn´t seem to understand that. Why on earth would they be available for him but for money? Even if they say they don´t a logically thinking gentleman should understand that moneytransfer is implied.

The girls must make a living and having sex with OP is probably not that rewarding in it self.

I agree with you Stygge ....I have tried to make this point, a bit differently, a few times before (not in this thread). My point was more to the point that men come here knowing that their money is the hook, yet they THEN try to find a woman, who doesn't want money, and only wants them, 100% due to them, their particular everything that makes them unique, they want love for that ...which makes sense, that they want that. We all want that.

But this would be a bit like a fake gorgeous woman, who tries to trap a man mostly based on looks, then takes off her fake hair, nails, makeup, goes through chemo,, gains 40 pounds, has no energy to dress, and impress, and suddenly looks 20 years older, fater, more tired, and decides that cooking a few times a week and sweeping the floors should be enough "womanly" work to keep her new hot lover interested. Isn't that a bit like some of you guys who start out at X restuarant, and then are at KFC for your ladies birthday ... a year later, and bitching about the money she wants?

But WHY would a woman, who is lets say 20-35 years younger, (big negative 1), who also has nothing in common with this guy culturally ...and I mean NOTHING, and worse than nothing, let us say, everything is pretty much the OPPOSITE, (big negative 2), WHY would this woman be motivated to get involved it if wasn't (in most cases) for the money/security, whatever you want to call it? But then the men feel upset/angry, don't want to pay, can't really afford it for long, etc.

And some men here have some real problems ...they can be charmers or not, but have real problems! And I am sure there are some who are just great and have an Asian thing ...as in all their life, and/or some who are in a temp, condition of low self-esteem, low finances, or something like this, and they are trying out the Thai thing as a solution. Only time will tell how it goes, what changes. I am pretty sure there are some men here who are selling themselves short, no matter what Thai relationship they are in ....I mean that as a compliment to the men, in case you are confused.

Well we all can have problems, and we are all doing the best we can ...I assume. I am not judging anyone, just wondering about what, to me, seems an oxymoron with the money/love situation and what many guys claim they are looking for. I am not putting anyone down, I myself, just put myself out of the game totally, with my last marriage/failure ...so you all might be better then me for sure. I think about "someday I might like ABC" but in reality, I may be to afraid to do anything other than make my dog pack larger! So, I am not better, just more scared to trust and figured it will be a lost battle here, so why try?

Anyway, I am interested in this situation, that the women want you for money, but YOU don't want to spend any money and really want true love? Seems difficult?

Amy,

you just described the atypical "buyers remorse" syndrome.

where the purchaser doesnt feel like the price was worth the goods and now doesnt like the deal, or wants to renegotiate, but, the goods,

in this case the thai girl, was always the product he purchased,

what changed was his desire for it, and the reality when the blooms fell off the rose,

and didnt return with the changing season,

my friend has a song for that:

its called, "this one's different"

I have posted it on other threads, but am not using a mouse outside as I have my morning coffee, as the "spouse" I purchased sits on the couch, not even asking me, if I want breakfast......get the picture?

everyone changes after the deal is struck,

the buyer no longer gets what he believes he paid for;

and the seller, in this case, the girl, whether she be thai, brazilian, czeck, w/e,

is no longer in the depsearate position she was in before the rescuer arrived,

and now she thinks she doesnt have to "perform" anymore, to get what she needed,

capische?

[Scarpolo]

Only a very small percentage of women that do certain kind of thing by the way.

-------

Yes, very small percent of women that do certain of activity. How many women at the age between 20-50 are there in Thailand?

I think we're getting some language problems here.

I am agreeing with you that only a small percentage of the total Thai female population either

have multiple boyfriends lying to each so they think they're the only one

or

are otherwise lying and scamming for money

But I am saying out of the total number that ARE GOING WITH FARANG

that percentage is very very high.

Are you disagreeing with that statement?

Oh, the several farange boyfriends thing,

I think this pertains to the visitors, not to actual real time relationships,

Well if you also include those that stay long-term with visitors but still keep their Thai boyfriend in the background, then the numbers go right back up there - IMO.

Plus the larger question of how many are lying and scamming in general, including the long con where they may well stick around for decades. . .

I have a problem with the term "long con"

I don't believe in that. I do believe that those are relationships gone bad, nothing more:

anything that survives 1-3 years or more, was a relationship,

however it ends, they end usually no worse than western marriages, and the man still keeps his penis,

whereas I have heard here, some thai women go for the kitchen knife first

[Scarpolo]

Quote

Quote

(Story of the scamming teacher and teh Dutch guy)

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Only a very small percentage of women that do certain kind of thing by the way.

I agree if you're looking at the total population of Thai women. But taking the set of all Thai girls that go with farang, you REALLY think it's a "very small" percentage?

You must be joking.

Personally I think 98% are explicit sex workers by western standards.

Of the remaining 2% I think the vast majority are in a very grey area, let's just say have multiple men on the hook at a time each of which think they are the only one.

Anyone needing confirmation of the any of the above need only open a profile page on Tagged and Thai Friendly, and you will get a steady stream of thai girls, aged 20-30, who seek men of ALL AGES????? Really?????, but, not, they aren't predators, seeking prey?

and who is replying to them, WHITE MEN......and, this is disputed?

What do you think is happening in your home countries as regards to dating sites and social media? You honestly believe that this is Thailand specific?

To be perfectly honest, anyone being lazy enough to use a dating site, either is lacking in social skills or should be aware of all the possibilities of the 'tag-along'. If they are not aware, this is where the negative experiences of a few spiral out of control, and become a standard for many more gold diggers through public revelation.

That would be my view on it anyway. I know dating sites work for some, but fail for many others who, whether they consider themselves ripped-off (when they have in fact been spurned) will escalate stories to protect their damaged egos.

Sure, the rips happen, but I wonder what the true scale of this is?..................

Disagree:

The western "dating" sites are generally either direct about being hookers, and aren't using "dating" sites, they are in forums specifically designed to attract their customers and western girls are for the most part, not in their early 20's seeking men of any age.

they want someone close to their level, educationally, as well as age, and all want financially capable men.

I also disagree that using the dating sites is for social losers,

it is also for people who are way too busy in their daily life, who want to browse for men, or women, in the safety of thier home, when they are tired and worn out, and the last thing they want to do is dress up and go hunt,

I have met many business owners and very nice women in these forums, it is all how you handle your internet savvy, and know not to jump through the browser into their pajama's that works best

[Scarpolo]

Quote

Quote

(Story of the scamming teacher and teh Dutch guy)

Quote

Only a very small percentage of women that do certain kind of thing by the way.

I agree if you're looking at the total population of Thai women. But taking the set of all Thai girls that go with farang, you REALLY think it's a "very small" percentage?

You must be joking.

Personally I think 98% are explicit sex workers by western standards.

Of the remaining 2% I think the vast majority are in a very grey area, let's just say have multiple men on the hook at a time each of which think they are the only one.

Anyone needing confirmation of the any of the above need only open a profile page on Tagged and Thai Friendly, and you will get a steady stream of thai girls, aged 20-30, who seek men of ALL AGES????? Really?????, but, not, they aren't predators, seeking prey?

and who is replying to them, WHITE MEN......and, this is disputed?

What do you think is happening in your home countries as regards to dating sites and social media? You honestly believe that this is Thailand specific?

To be perfectly honest, anyone being lazy enough to use a dating site, either is lacking in social skills or should be aware of all the possibilities of the 'tag-along'. If they are not aware, this is where the negative experiences of a few spiral out of control, and become a standard for many more gold diggers through public revelation.

That would be my view on it anyway. I know dating sites work for some, but fail for many others who, whether they consider themselves ripped-off (when they have in fact been spurned) will escalate stories to protect their damaged egos.

Sure, the rips happen, but I wonder what the true scale of this is?..................

[canman]

(Story of the scamming teacher and teh Dutch guy)

Only a very small percentage of women that do certain kind of thing by the way.

I agree if you're looking at the total population of Thai women. But taking the set of all Thai girls that go with farang, you REALLY think it's a "very small" percentage?

You must be joking.

Personally I think 98% are explicit sex workers by western standards.

Of the remaining 2% I think the vast majority are in a very grey area, let's just say have multiple men on the hook at a time each of which think they are the only one.

Yes, very small percent of women that do certain of activity. How many women at the age between 20-50 are there in Thailand?

Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect Thailand

Approx 15 million

[rayongchelsea]

I have lived here for 23 years, I came here when I was 35, that's the difference, I was a young guy, and I got along ok..

I would think most guys on ThaiVisa are old men, too old to adapt, am I right ?

Hey, guess what, that's why you can't get along, you are too old, just go back to your own home, be safe.

Thailand is not an Old peoples Home.

ThaiVisa forum might be though.

23 +35 = 58. You're not such a spring chicken then are you? I trust you are following your advice and packing your bags.

Bye; Ill be sure not to miss you.

Rgds,

K1.

Silly reply he came here when he was young, before it was a 400 dollar non stop flight for the masses of old guys that come here now.

You probably hadn't even heard of Thailand 23 years ago!!

He probably knows more than you will ever know about Thailand and it comes thru experience..

He didn't need to adapt at an older age..and you being old and sensitive probably won't..

Unfortunately Thailand has been ruined by it being a retirement spot..look around you at any of the beach resorts, houses in issarn etc..old men..it's a fact..

Why the nasty reply?..

Sent from my iPad using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

[wym]

I have a problem with the term "long con"

I don't believe in that. I do believe that those are relationships gone bad, nothing more:

anything that survives 1-3 years or more, was a relationship,

however it ends, they end usually no worse than western marriages, and the man still keeps his penis, whereas I have heard here, some thai women go for the kitchen knife first

Basically for me when either or both partners aren't completely honest and open with each other. . .

No problem if it's completely transactional AFAIC, all cards on the table, free to fool around if they like, whatever the terms of the deal as long as there isn't deception or coercion involved.

But you see plenty of long-term relationships where you know a lot more about what's going on than your friend's partner does, total insincerity, outright fraudulent intent, sometimes for lots of property and other assets, down and out confidence rackets galore, especially in Pattaya/Phuket/Samui.

Sometimes it's many years before the final hurrah is sprung, and then the mark realizes it's been a scam from the very beginning.

Now some people use the term just as a synonym for marriage. And when the age difference gets large enough, some girls specifically look for a wealthy enough guy who's not going to be around that long, and make sure they're well taken care of in the will.

Perfectly "successful" relationship from both sides, but I'd still put it in that category.

Edited February 18, 2014 by wym

[rayongchelsea]

Guy not married 2 daughters 15 years relationship bought a nice house in Phuket, returned from Sweden after a family visit.He worked off shore.

The g/f wouldn't let him back into the house, met him in the court yard with his luggage with 5 other people. The 3 he didn't know were introduced -This is my husband, these are my other 2 children the house is mine please leave!!

True story a friend of my neighbours..who use to be their neighbour..

Sent from my iPad using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

[HardenedSoul]

Hang on you're a racist that dates Thai girls?

Am I missing something ?

I have no idea where you get the idea that just because a man has relations with a girl from another race means he is actually an and open-minded and tolerant person.

That's like saying that a man is a feminist just because he's heterosexual.

Plenty of Nazis screwed Jewish women when they got the chance. . .

True but the OP is looking for something rather more permanent in his dealings with a Thai which is inconsistent with being a racist bigot.

Indeed, he may even have used a racial slur to describe her a few years ago.

[wym]

Long term or ST no difference. A sociopath sees the "other" as an object for gratification rather than a fully equal human being.

What about the guys keep a prisoner locked up in the basement. Oh his victim's black therefore he can't be a racist?

Not talking about the OP here, just in the abstract.

Edited February 18, 2014 by wym

[Scarpolo]

I have a problem with the term "long con"

I don't believe in that. I do believe that those are relationships gone bad, nothing more:

anything that survives 1-3 years or more, was a relationship,

however it ends, they end usually no worse than western marriages, and the man still keeps his penis, whereas I have heard here, some thai women go for the kitchen knife first

Basically for me when either or both partners aren't completely honest and open with each other. . .

No problem if it's completely transactional AFAIC, all cards on the table, free to fool around if they like, whatever the terms of the deal as long as there isn't deception or coercion involved.

But you see plenty of long-term relationships where you know a lot more about what's going on than your friend's partner does, total insincerity, outright fraudulent intent, sometimes for lots of property and other assets, down and out confidence rackets galore, especially in Pattaya/Phuket/Samui.

Sometimes it's many years before the final hurrah is sprung, and then the mark realizes it's been a scam from the very beginning.

Now some people use the term just as a synonym for marriage. And when the age difference gets large enough, some girls specifically look for a wealthy enough guy who's not going to be around that long, and make sure they're well taken care of in the will.

Perfectly "successful" relationship from both sides, but I'd still put it in that category.

Sounds similar to my last wife,

Everything changed, when I got tired of being the sole energy provider, and, once she realized that if she didnt want to cook, she couldnt eat

as I was tired of living in restaurants, the entire world went into upheaval!

[Neurath]

If you are proud of being a scummy racist you have no place in this country.Now we know why you have problems,fat and bald to boot,probably halitosis as well.What a fine catch you must be,your woman must be desperate.

Where did I say I was fat? What is wrong with being racist? Many minorities are some of the most racist people you will ever meet yet they are the first to complain.

I never implied I was a catch. Far from it. But the truth of the matter (and some girls realize this) are that the great "catches" have unlimited options in Thailand. They are called players. I only wish I could get the girls they throw away like garbage every day. Not very often, one of these girls wakes up and realizes that someone like me will appreciate what I normally can't obtain and take a chance.

Its probably the same reasoning why you'll sometimes see a normal looking farang with a short, dark, ugly girl. He knows the superstars can have any guy so the more homely types will likely be better in bed and take care of him better, as they appreciate what they can't normally have.

Sounds like you might be ugly enough to be my friend. I want to be appreciated.

[Scarpolo]

Guy not married 2 daughters 15 years relationship bought a nice house in Phuket, returned from Sweden after a family visit.He worked off shore.

The g/f wouldn't let him back into the house, met him in the court yard with his luggage with 5 other people. The 3 he didn't know were introduced -This is my husband, these are my other 2 children the house is mine please leave!!

True story a friend of my neighbours..who use to be their neighbour..

Sent from my iPad using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

So, were there 4 daughters, or did she swap the two?

These stories always sound like bullshit to me

[wym]

Happens all the time.

Of course when you read the circumstances after the fact you think "well I could never be that stupid. . ."

Couple of the more interesting ones come to mind:

http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/topic/465340-children-locked-in-well-as-expat-businessmen-is-robbed-of-all-his-property-in-phuket/

http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/topic/492364-legendary-british-farmer-joe-loses-water-tight-30-year-lease-in-thailand/

The biggest scams seem to be when the girl's in collusion with local police/officials IOW mafia, perhaps planted in the first place.

So first precaution to take is never reveal that you have substantial assets in the first place.

[Scarpolo]

Long term or ST no difference. A sociopath sees the "other" as an object for gratification rather than a fully equal human being.

What about the guys keep a prisoner locked up in the basement. Oh his victim's black therefore he can't be a racist?

Not talking about the OP here, just in the abstract.

He isn't a racist,

He will let any female sit on is face,.....

what he is, is a "self hater"

big difference

[MrWorldwide]

They assume we're not that stupid, and hire PI's

No need - my ex had 'spies' stationed up and down Sukhumvit Road - sounds funny until she materialises in front of you with her hands on her hips, completely loses it in front your newfound friends, and storms off with her accomplices in tow. The cellphone is easily the greatest invention ever bestowed on Thai women who delight in the infidelities of others, and I cant think of women anywhere who love gossip more than the Thai ladies I've encountered over the years. Again, these weren't educated, well-off women - it may be that I just haven't met the right girls.

(I've also had the distinctly uncomfortable experience of sitting in a cab with a Thai gal gushing about her boyfriend and the intensity of their relationship only to have the cab stop at a light right next to the bar where Mr Wonderful is busy canoodling with another lady. Bangkok can be an alarmingly small place if you restrict yourself to the Farang ghetto, and I could only sit there and cringe as all three of us tried very hard to pretend we hadn't seen him.)

[Tmymaimee]

Update - I think I'm going to call it quits with the teacher.

1) She is overly obsessed with maintaining her skin white, to the point she only walks outside if covers can be found.

2) She has some kind of disorder that makes her sweat in buckets when she is hot. I can't accept this. She won't see a doctor about it.

3) I love going to the gym and staying in shape. She sees no reason to maintain herself, and at 31 and already larger, its only going to get worse. I believe going to a gym regularly shows respect for your partner.

4) The sex. She is happy with standard sex….I don't have the patience to persuade, teach….last one was 1 year before she would even consider a toy.

5) I have no idea where her money goes but seeing her place, she's living like some third world rat. I always keep my place clean and tidy. Her place is a complete disaster; clothes piled, garbage in corners; completely disgusting. I could never live like that.

6) She looks great but has no desire to look or dress sexy. I don't mean whorish but small, tight jean shorts or a tight skirt are just out of the question. Its just tiring.

Done…..Also, I don't think I can stop cold turkey with the bargirls as I slipped up last night with 1 from Spanky's. And it was great sex; way better than with the good girl.

I am probably doomed to hell living here...

[sms747]

They are all lovely--- at first. If the OP thinks teachers are any different then good luck to him.

[Daniel Boon]

I think everyone is past caring 'whereustay'

[wym]

I am probably doomed to hell living here...

May I suggest you document the details of your descent through its rings on a personal blog?