Getting out of the bargirl / Isaan dating scene - feels great!

[FiftyTwo]

dont look in the gutter as thats were most of the rubbish collects,

jake

alternatively

Don't look on the farm as that's where most of the shit happens.

[Scarpolo]

Yes, very proud of who and what I do, and how I do it.

Did you have a problem with that assessment, and I leave you with,

it takes one to know one, and whats a woman doing here anyway?

without knowing your history, is it menopause, bargirls, low life's that has attracted you to me?

The only things attracted to you would be flies, mate.

I'm just amused at how you consistently manage to lower the tone of every single thread you join with your boorish, vulgar and sordid sexual commentary.

Again, without the silly attempt at flaming;

where is my counter point wrong on this guy?

he is a sex addict, who may be near suicide,

I know, I have seen him aplenty, the difference is, he is likely not "australian", mate

I also come from both sides of the tracks, biking and banking,

and I have seen what men thought were their wholesome wives, blow guys in the office in the stairwell, and snort coke off toilet seats and biker chicks who wouldn't let another guy even kiss them hello

the gutter is in the individual, not the actual gutter,

you are almost an insult to street cleaners

Edited February 19, 2014 by Scarpolo

[wym]

Go back to your own country. Get some therapy. Tell your therapist you need to work on your self-confidence and self-esteem. Tell your therapist you want to learn how to become a man worth calling a man.

Yesterday I visited a department store. I needed a piss so I went to the toilet.

I did NOT fall in love with the urinal, nor did I stare amorously at the porcelain crapper.

A toilet is a toilet is a toilet. And a slut is a slut is a slut.

Unless there's something seriously wrong with you, you do not fall in love with a toilet.

Something most definitely is seriously wrong with you, to have that kind of attitude toward fellow human beings just based on their career, what they choose to do with their own bodies.

No problem you making your choices of partner based on your blind prejudices, but hate speech like that just isn't appropriate in a public forum.

No one will even mention that if the man isn't good in bed,

the girl, good or bad, loses interest much faster than the guy will

Particularly, if the beer belly is larger than the wallet,

Now I understand that everyone thinks they are awesome lovers,

the reality, may be different,

I will spare the thread and the moderators, my own self assessment

Thanks for that.

A related idea - only boring people get bored.

If you make them happy they make you happy, yes even the young and beautiful ones.

If they're just a jaded professional servicing you according to a scripted routine, perhaps not even CIS oriented, then of course it's a lot harder, but personally I avoid that type in the first place.

[Trembly]

if your young its proberly good for you to get out but if your old like me then this bar girl dating scene is the only option one has

I have been in Isaan for 7 yrs and married for 3 yrs to a village girl.No family problems and as an ex rice grower family girl she realizes what a great life it is married to a Farang.She is a lot more thrifty than me and tells me not to spend too much on things.Even when trying to buy something for her. She asks for nothing more than the occasional trip to the village to see relations who all treat me as just another member of the family.None of them have ever asked me for money and I have a good day out every time I go.We have a great relationship.personally,so do not give me that b/shi* about being too old.I can still walk past bars and get the "hello handsome man" treatment,and my wife tells me there are girls in the village that would jump into her shoes if anything went wrong with us.------- and I am guessing I am an older man than you----78 this year. Walk away from the bars and open your eyes,and to the OP------- good luck to you .You are on the right track

Ewuhly man hansum man

Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect Thailand

[Banzai99]

Old men have a say !

ThaiVisa shows that

[wym]

if your young its proberly good for you to get out but if your old like me then this bar girl dating scene is the only option one has

I have been in Isaan for 7 yrs and married for 3 yrs to a village girl.No family problems and as an ex rice grower family girl she realizes what a great life it is married to a Farang.She is a lot more thrifty than me and tells me not to spend too much on things.Even when trying to buy something for her. She asks for nothing more than the occasional trip to the village to see relations who all treat me as just another member of the family.None of them have ever asked me for money and I have a good day out every time I go.We have a great relationship.personally,so do not give me that b/shi* about being too old.I can still walk past bars and get the "hello handsome man" treatment,and my wife tells me there are girls in the village that would jump into her shoes if anything went wrong with us.------- and I am guessing I am an older man than you----78 this year. Walk away from the bars and open your eyes,and to the OP------- good luck to you .You are on the right track

Ewuhly man hansum man

See now perfect example, what's the point of such a post?

Trembly I know you're capable - unlike some here - of rational discussion, can't you do better than that?

Biplanebluey wrote an excellent post IMO, made some great points and is doing a service for all those who think just because they're old they only place to find a girl is in the sex industry - and of course that's perfectly true if you're willing to go to the extra trouble involved, the bars are for lazy people that don't care what they end up with.

Now if you actually disagree - and think that us old guys truly have no alternatives but explicit sex workers in Thailand - then argue your point, state your experience offer some evidence and try to persuade us of your POV.

"Ewuhly man hansum man" doesn't actually communicate anything, doesn't pertain to the main point he made, and in fact isn't even amusing.

IMO

[RandomSand]

Emotionally, spiritually and sexually speaking...

Situation A: Did you move the woman? <YES!< You the man. Your woman would probably pay to sleep with you!.. and she's aware that other women desire you.

Situation B: Did the woman move you? <YES!< You little pussy cat. Beware; She looking to make moves on others... and she'll make a move to leave you soon as she can.

Bargirl or not.... any man in Thailand should make sure he's in Situation A. The skilled (bar) girl will trick the man into thinking that Situation B is Situation A... and the loser knows it not.

Thailand, by her laws, takes away much from a falang.. but this "je ne sais quoi"...it's either there or it isn't.

I saw some falang use Thailand (and the bars) as a place to cultivate this "je ne sais quoi" and they go onto have great relationships with women (Situation A).

A particular danger that exists is as follows. Men that keep on getting short-term-kicks from short-time-girls find themselves tricked into believing that they're Situation-A-Kings. Upon trying to have normal relationships.. its found to be very boring!

edit: sorry for so many edits on this post.

Edited February 19, 2014 by RandomSand

[Daniel Boon]

scarpolo ... nice to read your posts ... has she got a sister? (just joking; I am happily getting married April)

[Trembly]

if your young its proberly good for you to get out but if your old like me then this bar girl dating scene is the only option one has

I have been in Isaan for 7 yrs and married for 3 yrs to a village girl.No family problems and as an ex rice grower family girl she realizes what a great life it is married to a Farang.She is a lot more thrifty than me and tells me not to spend too much on things.Even when trying to buy something for her. She asks for nothing more than the occasional trip to the village to see relations who all treat me as just another member of the family.None of them have ever asked me for money and I have a good day out every time I go.We have a great relationship.personally,so do not give me that b/shi* about being too old.I can still walk past bars and get the "hello handsome man" treatment,and my wife tells me there are girls in the village that would jump into her shoes if anything went wrong with us.------- and I am guessing I am an older man than you----78 this year. Walk away from the bars and open your eyes,and to the OP------- good luck to you .You are on the right track

Ewuhly man hansum man

See now perfect example, what's the point of such a post?

Trembly I know you're capable - unlike some here - of rational discussion, can't you do better than that?

Biplanebluey wrote an excellent post IMO, made some great points and is doing a service for all those who think just because they're old they only place to find a girl is in the sex industry - and of course that's perfectly true if you're willing to go to the extra trouble involved, the bars are for lazy people that don't care what they end up with.

Now if you actually disagree - and think that us old guys truly have no alternatives but explicit sex workers in Thailand - then argue your point, state your experience offer some evidence and try to persuade us of your POV.

"Ewuhly man hansum man" doesn't actually communicate anything, doesn't pertain to the main point he made, and in fact isn't even amusing.

IMO

Then I'm afraid that it's gone over your head. Sorry, but it's been a long night and I'll have to wait until I have the energy to clarify.

Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect Thailand

[wym]

Then I'm afraid that it's gone over your head. Sorry, but it's been a long night and I'll have to wait until I have the energy to clarify.

Sorry if I missed something, and look forward to it when you've got the time and energy - if you still feel like it, not a big deal, just thought I'd point out an example of what's being discussed in the "meta" thread at the moment, didn't mean to pick on you specifically. . .

[HardenedSoul]

if your young its proberly good for you to get out but if your old like me then this bar girl dating scene is the only option one has

I can still walk past bars and get the "hello handsome man" treatment,and my wife tells me there are girls in the village that would jump into her shoes if anything went wrong with us.

Especially once they'd had a look at your bank statements and a less-than-stellar cardiograph

[Berkshire]

if your young its proberly good for you to get out but if your old like me then this bar girl dating scene is the only option one has

I have been in Isaan for 7 yrs and married for 3 yrs to a village girl.No family problems and as an ex rice grower family girl she realizes what a great life it is married to a Farang.She is a lot more thrifty than me and tells me not to spend too much on things.Even when trying to buy something for her. She asks for nothing more than the occasional trip to the village to see relations who all treat me as just another member of the family.None of them have ever asked me for money and I have a good day out every time I go.We have a great relationship.personally,so do not give me that b/shi* about being too old.I can still walk past bars and get the "hello handsome man" treatment,and my wife tells me there are girls in the village that would jump into her shoes if anything went wrong with us.------- and I am guessing I am an older man than you----78 this year. Walk away from the bars and open your eyes,and to the OP------- good luck to you .You are on the right track

Ewuhly man hansum man

See now perfect example, what's the point of such a post?

Trembly I know you're capable - unlike some here - of rational discussion, can't you do better than that?

Biplanebluey wrote an excellent post IMO, made some great points and is doing a service for all those who think just because they're old they only place to find a girl is in the sex industry - and of course that's perfectly true if you're willing to go to the extra trouble involved, the bars are for lazy people that don't care what they end up with.

Now if you actually disagree - and think that us old guys truly have no alternatives but explicit sex workers in Thailand - then argue your point, state your experience offer some evidence and try to persuade us of your POV.

"Ewuhly man hansum man" doesn't actually communicate anything, doesn't pertain to the main point he made, and in fact isn't even amusing.

IMO

Biplane's post was fine until this statement...."I can still walk past bars and get the "hello handsome man" treatment,and my wife tells me there are girls in the village that would jump into her shoes if anything went wrong with us."

So there are girls in the village who'd happily shack up with this 78 year old dude? Hmmmm.

[wym]

Yes - for the right price, nothing surprising nor wrong with that.

And what's "happily" got to do with it? Fact is they'll still be young once he's passed on, lots of girls specifically look for that in their target profile. . .

I do admit I find it odd that it's his wife reminding him of this, maybe testing/teasing.

[sms747]

Biplane's post was fine until this statement...."I can still walk past bars and get the "hello handsome man" treatment,and my wife tells me there are girls in the village that would jump into her shoes if anything went wrong with us."

So there are girls in the village who'd happily shack up with this 78 year old dude? Hmmmm.

Well lets be honest, they would not have long to wait would they!

[AdamRich]

Of course there are exceptions to the above as there always will be but by and large, I just became disillusioned by the whole one way path of money. It was never like this back home so why here? Why am I seen as a provider? What do they in fact contribute?

Well let's see; this is what you had to say about it last year http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/topic/680634-why-go-to-so-much-trouble-marryingdating-someone-of-a-different-culture-nationality-mentality-etc/page-2#entry7021139

Why do I date / marry Thai girls despite the cultural gaps? I am 42, look a lot older than 42, short, bald and fairly unattractive. I also have a lot of money. Thailand is perfect for me because back home, money means nothing and will not get you the same level of girlfriend you can achieve in Thailand. I would love to date the truly gorgeous, hi-so models I see around Paragon but they look for guys with way more money than me, as well as guys who are attractive (which I am not).

Everyone wants to meet someone attractive, sexy and fun. Well, in the west at 42 being short, bald and old looking, forget about it. I had a woman in a pet store ask me for coffee last year...about 90 kgs, 50 years old and disgusting.

If I'm getting you right, you were delighted that your money got you into hottie underwear you could only dream of accessing back home.

How, then, can you now turn around and slate those girls for trying to take a bite out of the carrot you deliberately dangled in front of their noses?

Sure, be happy that you've got a normal girl but don't turn around and bitch up the girls who gave you everything you craved but couldn't taste before you landed at Swampy.

Last year? Hell that post was made only 3 months ago! What a sudden change of heart and/or mind.

[Berkshire]

Biplane's post was fine until this statement...."I can still walk past bars and get the "hello handsome man" treatment,and my wife tells me there are girls in the village that would jump into her shoes if anything went wrong with us."

So there are girls in the village who'd happily shack up with this 78 year old dude? Hmmmm.

Well lets be honest, they would not have long to wait would they!

True, although I don't think that was his point. Or perhaps it was...Biplane, do you mean to say that these girls in the village would love to have access to your money with the expectation that you'll drop dead in short order?

[AdamRich]

"Dating" hookers? Isn't that an oxymoron?

Not at all. Many prostitutes have boyfriends or are trying to find boyfriends. They can keep their work separate.

True, but once you start out as a trick/customer then that is forever what you will be.

[Daniel Boon]

last year ... was three months ago

[wym]

"Dating" hookers? Isn't that an oxymoron?

Not at all. Many prostitutes have boyfriends or are trying to find boyfriends. They can keep their work separate.

True, but once you start out as a trick/customer then that is forever what you will be.

&lt;deleted&gt;.

May be true for many even most, but definitely not all.

I know dozens of couples started out that way that are now well past the 30-year mark, most having gone though all the thick-and-think sincerity tests normal life throws at us.

[y2k]

Even if the OP is a troll, I believe he is right in that dating and sleeping with girls where money is involved will eventually feel unfullfilling and empty. I know some guys who can keep the enthusiasm going for bargirls year after year and that's great for them. I'm not saint, I went through the pros and semi-pros myself to begin with, but I guess I am not hard enough to not become emotionally invested in some of them and that leads to a lot of misery, for both her and me a lot of the time.

Hear Hear.

[y2k]

"Dating" hookers? Isn't that an oxymoron?

Not at all. Many prostitutes have boyfriends or are trying to find boyfriends. They can keep their work separate.

Could you allow your Thai bar girlfriend to continue being a bar girl?

[wym]

Why would you think you have the right to "allow" it or not?

You knew what she did before, you only have the right to end the relationship.

Personally my only concern would be STDs.

[HeavyDrinker]

Personally my only concern would be STDs.

Really? Not the fact that your GF/wife were getting 'rattled' by all and sundry every night?

A close friend (now sadly no longer with us) once moved in a BG with him when he lived in Pattaya; she didn't even wait for his 'approval'. At 4pm on the very day she moved in with him, at 4pm, she grabbed her gear and skipped happily off to work and so on it went.

If she'd had a 'busy' shift - either with or without a punter -, she'd not let him near her so that didn't last long but she wouldn't be talked into quitting the bar. It was her independence also she quite enjoyed the work over sitting at home watching the soapies with a man some 40 years her senior.

[wym]

I'm saying if I chose to take on a sex worker, I'd realize and accept that reality - and yes I could and have many times in the past.

Now if the deal was that I would be her only customer - and of course only I were paying her enough and it turned out she was lying/scamming me, well then bye bye but the issue is her dishonesty, not the multiple partners.

Now personally I haven't had any such semi-serious relationships with a sex worker for a very long time.

But every one of my partners for over eight years now has been free to play around as they like, as they also agree to let me do the same.

So no, I don't have a problem with that, what's good for the gander's good for the goose.

[Scarpolo]

"Dating" hookers? Isn't that an oxymoron?

Not at all. Many prostitutes have boyfriends or are trying to find boyfriends. They can keep their work separate.

True, but once you start out as a trick/customer then that is forever what you will be.

I cannot agree with this statement, "once you start, you always are"

This implies that girls (all of them) don't have true aspirations of bettering themselves,

not all are vulturous consumers of male wallets, although they do ALL have the same needs,

some are smarter than others, (some call this the long con)

I don't accept this term, as anyone who uses it, is making a general statement that there isn;t a heart inside these girls, or tht at the end of their shift, they don't go home and cry because they don't see a way out,

There are good girls doing "bad things" all the time,

try to remember that,

especially if you have a daughter

[FiftyTwo]

This implies that girls (all of them) don't have true aspirations of bettering themselves,

Not sure that living with an old guy can be considered as "bettering oneself".

Unless the ultimate aim was to keep old guy assets, and be rid of old guy.

In which case, back to "you were only a trick".

[Scarpolo]

This implies that girls (all of them) don't have true aspirations of bettering themselves,

Not sure that living with an old guy can be considered as "bettering oneself".

Unless the ultimate aim was to keep old guy assets, and be rid of old guy.

In which case, back to "you were only a trick".

I guess my problem understanding all this, is the "assets" part.

I havent moved anything over here, and don't plan on it, so, I am not getting all this the way others do.

I am also working on an age ratio of 53-32, which isn't that far apart because I am a musician, and we are not matuure enough to be with women our own age and frankly, I know this pisses people off, but I am in great shape, and capable with a 32 year old girl,

these are factors that change equations, and drift far off the mean average of what typically takes place here,

I have seen the great disparity couples all over,

they dont look unhappy,

I will tell you the guys I pity though,

the one's my age, 40's to 50's I see all over BKK, pushing baby carriages with women in their late 20's and early 30's

I won't do that,

it seems to be a prescription for death of everything, starting with the romance, and ending with the wallet,

but all this other posting about girls not being able to leave their occupation and assume a new role is rediculous, as role playing is all they know, and the role they want most, is to be honored

[FiftyTwo]

I am also working on an age ratio of 53-32, which isn't that far apart because I am a musician, and we are not matuure enough to be with women our own age and frankly, I know this pisses people off, but I am in great shape, and capable with a 32 year old girl,

I also have a 20 year age difference, and run a lot.

In fact if we are going to discuss levels of fitness, I would be at least x2 your level.

Not a musician, but can sing along to about 50% of the popular Thai songs at concerts and karaoke.

And able to discuss the relative merits of each artist in Thai.

But I'm not stupid gullible enough to think she loves me for myself.

Edited February 20, 2014 by FiftyTwo

[Scarpolo]

"Dating" hookers? Isn't that an oxymoron?

Not at all. Many prostitutes have boyfriends or are trying to find boyfriends. They can keep their work separate.

Could you allow your Thai bar girlfriend to continue being a bar girl?

You can take a girl out of the bar, but never the bar out of the girl.

High end prostitutes, are not the same as bar girls,

there is a difference in education and aspiration

[Scarpolo]

I am also working on an age ratio of 53-32, which isn't that far apart because I am a musician, and we are not matuure enough to be with women our own age and frankly, I know this pisses people off, but I am in great shape, and capable with a 32 year old girl,

I also have a 20 year age difference, and run a lot.

In fact if we are going to discuss levels of fitness, I would be at least x2 your level.

Not a musician, but can sing along to about 50% of the popular Thai songs at concerts and karaoke.

And able to discuss the relative merits of each artist in Thai.

But I'm not stupid gullible enough to think she loves me for myself.

I swim for cardio, and have a pool 300 feet from my (her) home....

I am not sure about the "love" part, and she only told me that the first time, when she was dropped off at my condo by her girlfriends,, from one of their birthday parties, very drunk, and she said it for the first time then.......I don't get a lot of flattery from her, but she gets it from me,

the I love you's come far and few between, but she shows me she loves me, in her own way, every day.

I can't say that I love anything more than her body, and have actually told her that, but I do love many things about her,

I am still legally married back home and came here to relax get away from the chemtrails and my wife's army of lawyers,

So, as much as I want love, I will be content with her passion and not care about what it is called,

I think though, if she didnt love me, she wouldnt have brought me to meet her mother,

wouldnt have stopped working, without me paying her, which she did for two months,

and it was only when I learned she was now late on her mortgage because she was spending all her time with me in Chiang Mai, because I left her,

that I decidedd to move in with her, and pay her to live here,

I have said on other threads, it is no more than what I was paying to live alone in a condo, and see her when she could, and now, I dont eat alone, dont sleep alone,, and have a room to myself for my guitar practice, and as I write, she is standing 6 feet from me, ironing my clothes and there is food cooking on the stove,

I have a better relationship with her, than I did my wife of 9 years, whom I loved madly,

this one, I can live with, and love her for who and what she is,.

nothing wrong with any of this,

and I hope I can stay long enough that she finds meaningful employment for herself, that allows her to grow, in case I decicde to leave, and she is forced back to work,

I say forced because, she will go through the money she is saving, and if she didnt properly prepare, the mortgage payment comes again, and there wont be anyone to pay it, but herself,

it is 15,000 baht monthly, for a 3 bedroom home, in a gated community,

this is not a bar girl, and won't go to bars alone

she owns properties in the north that are income producing and I am encouraging her to seek out more of them, for herself, not for me, for her.

I am interested in owning a guest house in chaing mai though,

anyone who can provide input on that would be greatly appreciated

Edited February 20, 2014 by Scarpolo