I'm trying to put together a budget for my and my girlfriend's monthly expenses. The one thing I can't put any reasonable estimate on is her make-up, shampoos, body scrubs, de-oderants and other "girly" stuff. She told me about 500 baht a month which I don't think is realistic.

She works in a large department store in a customer facing role so she needs to be well turned out. So assuming she buys local "budget" products what is a guesstimate figure?

She wants to buy a car and claims that she can buy it herself without any help from me. I'm trying to convince her that WE can't afford it, yet.

Thanks in advance for any help.

I can tell you that the cost of using a car (gasoline and maintenance) just to drive around for fun, not for working, it is more than 5000thb/month. The payment for a small new car with 25% down payment is more than 7000THB/month and full insurance about 2000THB/month. A bad deal because the depreciation. A second hand car may will better deal, if it is a good one in the right price, but the operation cost is equal or higher. Anyway, car is a luxury if not need it for work.

why u worrying about HER monthly costs for HER make up & sundries, presumably she is covering this expense herself from her job at the moment so why not just let her carry on buying her own stuff. And if she wants a car then she can either afford it or not. If not then that's too bad for her. Why would she expect you to finance it?

Just say no. Simples

Thanks for that but its not what I need. I have a good handle on the costs of a car. I know what I pay every month for household ecpenses. I know what I spend on sundries and entertainment. The problem I've got is the ridiculously low amount for "essentials" my girlfriend thinks she can survive on a month. I need some help to figure out a "typical" figure. ...

Sheeez...how hard is it to tag along with her on the weekly, or monthly shop...

We are in a relationship. I'd like to get to the stage where it's not my money and her money but our money. This means making decisions together?

Uhh, no it doesn't you can have a joint household fund & still be financially independant.

It's worked in my relationsho[p for the last 15 years & I have never had to discuss my personal items budget with my husband under any circumstance & vise versa, we pay the bills whats left in my account is mine, whats left in his is his. If either of us are short for soe reason the other helps out.

That does depend though on BOTH members of the partnership contributing financially.

But if she says 500b then budget 500b.

take a shopping bag. fill it with:

two different kinds of deoderants

two boxes of tampons/heavy month pads

three boxes of ligth days pads

a decent brand of facial make up remover or those remover pads

acetone nail polish remover and two different colours of polish

eye cream, face cream, foot cream, body cream

all over body spray

two different shower gels/soaps

some 'intimate wash' liquid (with whitener)

waxing/shahving supplies

two different shampoos most likely pantene and conditioner

hair goop/product

some hair clips/bands/thingies

foundation/base/makeup/whitener facial cream/eye shadow pallette

some gloss/lipstick/outliner, masacara in two colours

scented powder...

tally up.

500 baht does not sound impossible to me. Remember that the items in question (shampoo, deodorant, make-up etc) all last more than a single month, usually several months or even more. I buy new mascara, for example, only about once a year.

But it sounds like the larger problem is that you don't think your gf knows how to budget. And that you and she differ in your approach to finances.

I would suggest you slow down on trying to make it "our money" and start out with more of a separation, perhaps a pooled fund for certain things like rent, utilities and groceries that you each contribute a mutually agreed upon amount towards and then the rest separately owned, and if she manages to buy a car out of what she has left, let her. It is not unusual for Thais to buy cars they cannot afford on credit and have them repossessed later. (I know people who have done that multiple times in a row, doesn't seem to bother them, either).

If you push too hard on this issue now, you are likely to endanger the relationship. The best way to help her learn that she cannot afford a car (assuming that is in fact the case) is to get a commitment from her to contribute a fixed amount monthly towards rent, utilities and groceries and do as she wants with the rest, and do not bail her out when she gets into a problem having bought a car and then not having the money needed for gas or her monthly share of the basics. The car will end up repossessed/sold back, but she will have gone through the process of realizing it for herself rather than you being in the role of nay-sayer.