Should I feel guilty about using Dummies?

[Maroon Watcher]

YES - It keeps you sane - especially if you are both working...

But dont use them until you have to and ween off asap,

Later in life if they cry for no apparent reason -

get down to their level, give them your time,
and maybe a hug...

and ask them.

Babies sleep best between or besides parents (Obviously)

But then unfortunately, parents can't sleep for fear of rolling over!

so an occasional passifier - is just that.

[Maroon Watcher]

I used them for all three kids with no problems. Sometimes when they didn't work, I would strap them in the carseat and take them for a drive. It was plan B, and it usually worked.

Yep - sometimes they just get bored!

[rct99q]

Congrats again on the twins. My newest is just turning 10 months and going strong. Lots of conflicting information out there but having raised two here and a couple back in Canada, in my opinion coupled with advice from doctors here and Canada, all in moderation.

There can be some serious side affects depending on the childs age. To early (usually under 1 month) and it can cause problems with breast feeding as they are not the some sucking motions. To late (usually after 3 years of age) and can cause problems with their teeth.

Some absolute DON'TS though - never dip into juice, milk, or anything really. Can cause gum and teeth problems. Don't pop a dummy into your mouth and then into your babies (normally after it has been dropped and you do not have something to clean it off with right away). Your mouth contains bacteria that your infants mouth has yet to acquire (unless you feed them pop or sweetened fruit juices) that can cause cavities in their teeth (again based on age range). Never leave it in their mouths overnight or long periods of time. If your babies are underweight, losing weight (excessive), or not gaining weight (every child is different but you will know if this is happening) then I would never use a dummy.

My newest addition has been excellent (sorry), so have only tried once and she did not like it so never used again.

So go on and feel guilty, as one poster correctly stated, it means you care. But if used in moderation and under supervision you should not encounter long term issues in using them.

[uptheos]

Do what the Victorians did. Give 'em gin!

Born with it and die with it.

[wolfmanjack]

2 kids and never used them. I just turned on the music and danced the 2 step while holding the baby until they fell asleep.

the google ad was for hua hin lawyers.

[Ulic]

Why feel guilty, the baby has been fed, clean and dry, held and cuddled, in not crying. All is good.

[RickFarang]

Nope, never felt guilty about it and never had any problems with it.

[richard_smith237]

Get one of them rockers with an electronic thing on, that will gently bounce him to sleep.

Maybe he had a bit of wind etc...

Put some jam on it. Seriously, I was brought up with five brothers and a sister, and none of us ever had dummies. They are for lazy parents, used just to shut the babys up. Spend some time with them instead.

I wonder; how many of those against the use of dummies and suggesting that parents who use them are lazy actually use a rear facing car seat with their child on every single vehicle journey they take up until the age of 4?

The use of a dummy or not is a very very minor thought at most. How a discussion may manifest itself into a 'lazy parent' comment is beyond me.

I wonder how many are aware that if involved in an frontal accident a toddler (<4 yrs old) in a forward facing car seat is at significantly greater risk of serious injury than a toddler in a rear facing seat. Have I digressed ? No... the reason I know this is because I was able to do boatloads of research into the best group 1+ car seat while my Son was pacified.

[a99az]

Non of my 6 ever had one. Bad start in life when you will slip a kid anything to quieten them dummy today 100$ tomorrow. When they cry they ether want feeding, cleaning, each with a hug if no other signs of a problem then leave them to it, it will do there lungs good.

[David48]

Guys ... thanks for the many answers above and over page ...

The time taken to reply and all your thoughts are appreciated by both of us.

[David48]

Giving him the dummy for 5 mins while preparing the bottle also prevents him from getting too upset to feed properly.

Mate, as always, a quality reply.

Some nights are hell if they both wake at the same time and I'm trying to give my partner some rest while I take care of them.

That tip above may actually provide some respite and give me a chance to take good care of one of them, then the next.

[falangadang]

Get one of them rockers with an electronic thing on, that will gently bounce him to sleep.

Maybe he had a bit of wind etc...

Put some jam on it. Seriously, I was brought up with five brothers and a sister, and none of us ever had dummies. They are for lazy parents, used just to shut the babys up. Spend some time with them instead.

"They are for lazy parents"... being a bit narrow minded and judgmental aren't we paddy?

That's one thing you can always rely on ThaiVisa forum for,.... opinions of those who are perfect and know everything!

[Jonmarleesco]

Why the guilt. They work for those who want one; those who don't simply spit it out. And almost certainly, when they get to the point they no longer want a dummy, they'll also spit it out, or refuse it. And I've got three boys, spanning the generation range, one liked, one didn't, and the youngest was changeable.

[NoshowJones]

Get one of them rockers with an electronic thing on, that will gently bounce him to sleep.

Maybe he had a bit of wind etc...

Put some jam on it. Seriously, I was brought up with five brothers and a sister, and none of us ever had dummies. They are for lazy parents, used just to shut the babys up. Spend some time with them instead.

"They are for lazy parents"... being a bit narrow minded and judgmental aren't we paddy?

That's one thing you can always rely on ThaiVisa forum for,.... opinions of those who are perfect and know everything!

Who are you calling Paddy? Maybe your the one who needs a dummy.

[laislica]

Moderation in all things.

If the dummy works - great.

Sleep deprived parents can create accidents - not good for babies or parents.

I was amazed at the change A baby (not TWINS) brought to our lives.

There is no manual/user guide.

It is an important job for which we are rarely prepared.

Remember that if you did the best you could do with the knowledge you had at that time, then you did good.

Even if you later find a better/safer way.

Keep up the good work David and enjoy the experiance, it will pass too quickly.

[richard_smith237]

Get one of them rockers with an electronic thing on, that will gently bounce him to sleep.

Maybe he had a bit of wind etc...

Put some jam on it. Seriously, I was brought up with five brothers and a sister, and none of us ever had dummies. They are for lazy parents, used just to shut the babys up. Spend some time with them instead.

"They are for lazy parents"... being a bit narrow minded and judgmental aren't we paddy?

That's one thing you can always rely on ThaiVisa forum for,.... opinions of those who are perfect and know everything!

Who are you calling Paddy? Maybe your the one who needs a dummy.

Obviously he didn't realise your mistake when posting a photo of an upside down Ivory Coast flag....

Drawing a conclusion that parents who may wish to use a dummy are lazy is perhaps a little inflammatory and quite narrow minded...

I think the general consensus is: There is nothing wrong with the use of a Dummy / Pacifier... just use it to such a degree that dependence develops, also don't use it over the wrong age groups.

I particularly liked the comment about not putting the dummy in your own mouth to clean it after its been dropped... I see parents do this all the time and it does look a dash wrong, surely rinsing it under a tap or bottled water would be much better....

[harrry]

Babies have been born here and have grown up succesfully for years. Styles change and what was bad is good and what was good is bad. Just go with the flow. Use themm or not depending on what seems easiest. Take as many precautions as you can such as not driving drunk, using seat belts and if they have them baby seats but do not stress out too much except for the driving drunk one. Your kids will get there despite whatever is done to them.....Kids come with built in survivability.

[EyesWideOpen]

Babies have been born here and have grown up succesfully for years. Styles change and what was bad is good and what was good is bad. Just go with the flow. Use themm or not depending on what seems easiest. Take as many precautions as you can such as not driving drunk, using seat belts and if they have them baby seats but do not stress out too much except for the driving drunk one. Your kids will get there despite whatever is done to them.....Kids come with built in survivability.

Just asked my wife, she said she had never seen a dummy used in Isan before when she was a child. So it would appear that your statement of children growing up successfully here, was apparently done

without the introduction of the dummy here by farangs.... :-)

Indeed styles do come and go. But some things go away permanently, such as the old style

of laying a child down on its stomach, which increases risk of SIDS. So knowledge trumps

style in that case..

Edited March 8, 2014 by EyesWideOpen

[harrry]

Babies have been born here and have grown up succesfully for years. Styles change and what was bad is good and what was good is bad. Just go with the flow. Use themm or not depending on what seems easiest. Take as many precautions as you can such as not driving drunk, using seat belts and if they have them baby seats but do not stress out too much except for the driving drunk one. Your kids will get there despite whatever is done to them.....Kids come with built in survivability.

Just asked my wife, she said she had never seen a dummy used in Isan before when she was a child. So it would appear that your statement of children growing up successfully here, was apparently done

without the introduction of the dummy here by farangs.... :-)

Indeed styles do come and go. But some things go away permanently, such as the old style

of laying a child down on its stomach, which increases risk of SIDS. So knowledge trumps

style in that case..

Remember in Issan 20 years or more ago breast feeding was the rule and often continued until a child was 4 or 5 years old.

[ripstanley]

We tried a dummy for our boy but he was not interested. I was glad. I was the one to suggest using one. He is going well at almost 19 months.

[Patsycat]

Dummies are usually spat out when they reach around 3. Thumbsucking can go on for years, and cause problems to teeth.

My sister sucked her thumb until she was 14, and had to have expensive braces on her teeth. Me i was sucking mine till i was ten and was teased at a sleepover!!!! But my teeth were ok.

I think Father Christmas took my nephews dummy away when he was around three to give to a baby who needed it.

Edited March 9, 2014 by Patsycat

[Pii Kate]

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Thai love links

Hey a parent who gets terribly frustrated can sometime take it out on the child. Use the pacifier. Two things though. Many babies have GERD (gastric reflux) until they are about 4 months old. Often born with immature GE valve. So keep him/her in a sitting position for at least one hour after feedings. Also, excessive use of a pacifier can misalign teeth but I doubt you will use it after the child is two, right?

[mrjonyoung]

I bought a "dummie" but never really used it. According to Dr's it can confuse the baby about nipples. "Nipple confusion". Lot a guys on here suffer from that.

My daughter is now 1 year 9 months and getting this far has been very hard. Tough kid to raise. Lots of long nights.

My suggestion is music. If you have a cellphone that plays music just turn it on low and find something he likes. The song that worked for me, oddly enough, was "Freak me out" by Weezer.

You gotta try everything. Bouncing, dancing, humming, singing, talking, suck on his ear, pat his back.

[belg]

it is called a pacifier for a reason

[laislica]

Babies have been born here and have grown up succesfully for years. Styles change and what was bad is good and what was good is bad. Just go with the flow. Use themm or not depending on what seems easiest. Take as many precautions as you can such as not driving drunk, using seat belts and if they have them baby seats but do not stress out too much except for the driving drunk one. Your kids will get there despite whatever is done to them.....Kids come with built in survivability.

Just asked my wife, she said she had never seen a dummy used in Isan before when she was a child. So it would appear that your statement of children growing up successfully here, was apparently done

without the introduction of the dummy here by farangs.... :-)

Indeed styles do come and go. But some things go away permanently, such as the old style

of laying a child down on its stomach, which increases risk of SIDS. So knowledge trumps

style in that case..

Remember in Issan 20 years or more ago breast feeding was the rule and often continued until a child was 4 or 5 years old.

Off topic but - Now you're talking.

If the Mum can supply, it's usually the best food supply in the world.

It usually pacifies brilliantly!

It's a shame that the powdered milk manufacturers brainwash people into believing that powdered milk is best.

Sorry for going off topic - but I just couldn't resist it.

This topic has provided some very good advice. I do like the advice to keep the baby in a sitting position for an hour after feeding until older than 4 months.

[EyesWideOpen]

Babies have been born here and have grown up succesfully for years. Styles change and what was bad is good and what was good is bad. Just go with the flow. Use themm or not depending on what seems easiest. Take as many precautions as you can such as not driving drunk, using seat belts and if they have them baby seats but do not stress out too much except for the driving drunk one. Your kids will get there despite whatever is done to them.....Kids come with built in survivability.

Just asked my wife, she said she had never seen a dummy used in Isan before when she was a child. So it would appear that your statement of children growing up successfully here, was apparently done

without the introduction of the dummy here by farangs.... :-)

Indeed styles do come and go. But some things go away permanently, such as the old style

of laying a child down on its stomach, which increases risk of SIDS. So knowledge trumps

style in that case..

Remember in Issan 20 years or more ago breast feeding was the rule and often continued until a child was 4 or 5 years old.

Off topic but - Now you're talking.

If the Mum can supply, it's usually the best food supply in the world.

It usually pacifies brilliantly!

It's a shame that the powdered milk manufacturers brainwash people into believing that powdered milk is best.

Sorry for going off topic - but I just couldn't resist it.

This topic has provided some very good advice. I do like the advice to keep the baby in a sitting position for an hour after feeding until older than 4 months.

Agreed. My daughter here was breast fed, and never used a pacifier. My friends would ask me

if I was kept awake by crying all night. I would laugh and say I was never woken up. WIth breast

feeding and co-sleeping ( carefully) , the baby gives a little whimper, gets a breast, and goes right

back to sleep. . ..... So maybe with breast feeding there is less of a need for a dummy.

[laislica]

Just asked my wife, she said she had never seen a dummy used in Isan before when she was a child. So it would appear that your statement of children growing up successfully here, was apparently done

without the introduction of the dummy here by farangs.... :-)

Indeed styles do come and go. But some things go away permanently, such as the old style

of laying a child down on its stomach, which increases risk of SIDS. So knowledge trumps

style in that case..

Remember in Issan 20 years or more ago breast feeding was the rule and often continued until a child was 4 or 5 years old.

Off topic but - Now you're talking.

If the Mum can supply, it's usually the best food supply in the world.

It usually pacifies brilliantly!

It's a shame that the powdered milk manufacturers brainwash people into believing that powdered milk is best.

Sorry for going off topic - but I just couldn't resist it.

This topic has provided some very good advice. I do like the advice to keep the baby in a sitting position for an hour after feeding until older than 4 months.

Agreed. My daughter here was breast fed, and never used a pacifier. My friends would ask me

if I was kept awake by crying all night. I would laugh and say I was never woken up. WIth breast

feeding and co-sleeping ( carefully) , the baby gives a little whimper, gets a breast, and goes right

back to sleep. . ..... So maybe with breast feeding there is less of a need for a dummy.

My wife was unable to supply, our lives were hell.

This picture reminded me of those days.

[Rorri]

I will end up getting bored with the replies, some won't relate to what the Op asked, but here go do some reading. http://www.cyh.com/healthtopics/healthtopicdetails.aspx?p=114&np=122&id=1736 Pacifiers/dummies have been used for a long time, those who had them don't seem to have suffered, except I still get this urge for nipples.

[Rorri]

mrjonyoung, on 09 Mar 2014 - 08:54, said:

I bought a "dummie" but never really used it. According to Dr's it can confuse the baby about nipples. "Nipple confusion". Lot a guys on here suffer from that.

My daughter is now 1 year 9 months and getting this far has been very hard. Tough kid to raise. Lots of long nights.

My suggestion is music. If you have a cellphone that plays music just turn it on low and find something he likes. The song that worked for me, oddly enough, was "Freak me out" by Weezer.

You gotta try everything. Bouncing, dancing, humming, singing, talking, suck on his ear, pat his back.

I have yet to see a baby, that uses a dummy, get confused between a dummy and a nipple, can you point me to your evidence, I would be interested to learn.

[harrry]

It is the confusion between nipples and dummies that David is probably worried about....after all he has twin boys,....and he does not like to share...