Dating a younger Thai girl - or why I love Thailand.

[BookMan]

Yes well that's all very well if both parties really are happy with it but get this; I live in the thick of the farang ghetto so I see age-gap couples every, single day at the mall when I buy my Western treats at the local mall.

Believe me when I tell you that 90% of the time, the guy looks as stressed out as the woman 20-30 years his junior at his side.

She will be trying her utmost to avoid the gaze of incredulity and pity from her fellow Thais who assume she's with the fossil for his wallet while he will be feeling his girlfriend's anxiety and sporting a glower of his own as he looks at foreign men chuckling away and the Thais sneering at her.

Is this stress and pitiful gazes more to do with the location of where you are seeing the couples?

Down around your way most of these relationships would be of a short time basis.

Yeah I dunno about you but I can tell the difference between a guy rolling out of Soi Cowboy with his barfine and a couple shopping for groceries at a gourmet food hall.

I don't mean guys walking out of soi cowboy...i'm talking about short term relationships. The GFE that might go a week or two.

[kimbathewhitelion]

With the one I was with, I just told her I had to go back to my country. I left some personal items at her apartment & told her I would call. Left, moved to another providence, changed my number...done. Can't stand all the melodrama when you try to end a relationship here. In the US it was so easy.

Isn't moving to Rhode Island a bit drastic?

Heard the lobster is quite nice.

Sent from my iPad using Thaivisa Connect Thailand

[BookMan]

Yes well that's all very well if both parties really are happy with it but get this; I live in the thick of the farang ghetto so I see age-gap couples every, single day at the mall when I buy my Western treats at the local mall.

Believe me when I tell you that 90% of the time, the guy looks as stressed out as the woman 20-30 years his junior at his side.

She will be trying her utmost to avoid the gaze of incredulity and pity from her fellow Thais who assume she's with the fossil for his wallet while he will be feeling his girlfriend's anxiety and sporting a glower of his own as he looks at foreign men chuckling away and the Thais sneering at her.

To be honest most farang-farang couples walking around in a shopping mall the guy doesn't look too blissful to me.

Personally I think your viewpoint is coloring what you see - in fact maybe they're even reacting to the way you're looking at them?

And "get this" - none of your business is it? Sure she may well be with him for his money, so what? Kudos to them for braving the mainstream judgmental jerks of the world.

Finally, yes in most "farang ghetto" areas, you are looking at relatively short-term rental wife couples, since the smarter people once settled down happily in Thailand avoid such areas like the plague.

Well said wym.

HS is judgmental on the forum so I can guess he is the same in public. People pick up on these things.

[faraday]

Lots of Estrogen in this thread.....

[BKK Blues Brother]

Yes well that's all very well if both parties really are happy with it but get this; I live in the thick of the farang ghetto so I see age-gap couples every, single day at the mall when I buy my Western treats at the local mall.

Believe me when I tell you that 90% of the time, the guy looks as stressed out as the woman 20-30 years his junior at his side.

She will be trying her utmost to avoid the gaze of incredulity and pity from her fellow Thais who assume she's with the fossil for his wallet while he will be feeling his girlfriend's anxiety and sporting a glower of his own as he looks at foreign men chuckling away and the Thais sneering at her.

To be honest most farang-farang couples walking around in a shopping mall the guy doesn't look too blissful to me.

Personally I think your viewpoint is coloring what you see - in fact maybe they're even reacting to the way you're looking at them?

And "get this" - none of your business is it? Sure she may well be with him for his money, so what? Kudos to them for braving the mainstream judgmental jerks of the world.

Finally, yes in most "farang ghetto" areas, you are looking at relatively short-term rental wife couples, since the smarter people once settled down happily in Thailand avoid such areas like the plague.

Well said wym.

HS is judgmental on the forum so I can guess he is the same in public. People pick up on these things.

Where is this "Farang Ghetto" in this beautiful country you speak off?

[NeverSure]

My ex UK wife was 17 years younger than me, we were together 20 odd years.

Yeah, the years with my ex wife were odd, too.

[philliphn]

To get the nokie. You have to have the cookie!

[mrfaroukh]

Age is just a number, you have one life to live so enjoy it and what other people think of you is none of your business. If you both are comfortable just enjoy and be happy.

[taninthai]

Only a while back the OP was saying how happy he was to be with a teacher, but she was too sweaty, now it's an office worker. He goes on about GFs(plural) over the past few months. Were they really GFs or short term shags, a GF a month is a pretty short R.ship. Before that he was going on about how glad he was to be out of the bar scene and all that it entailed.

Sounds like he's still shagging himself through Thailand but in a different way. Nothing wrong with that but don't try to make some deep and meaningful comments about what it all means.

Tired of this guy's drivel.

the op plays the forum well,you see how all the old fools like his comments ,op is just an attention seeker,not been in thailand long but raking up plenty of posts on tv,pretty sad in my opinion but keeps the general section of the forum busy.

if i was going through the amount of girls op does i wouldn't be spending all that time posting here ,sure there would be more exciting things to be getting up to.

Edited March 11, 2014 by taninthai

[lostinsurin]

These are the most annoying kind of post on TV,

it's like something out of "women's own"

[leeroy221]

I do love reading these posts, always makes me wonder if im the only person that married an OLDER Thai person!!

I am 31 wife is soon to be 34. We met in Bangkok what will be 8 years ago this year and we will have been married 7 years this year.

We both live in the UK, have a wonderful son who is 4, both work full time and always have, have a house in the UK and one in Thailand. Lifes wonderful.

I never expected to meet anyone when i went to Thailand for a 'lads' holiday but its prettyintresting how these things pan out.

She is from Buri Ram. I always read about people sending money here there everywhere all the time but again, this is something i have not really encountered.

All i would say is....age is just a number and dont try to hard to find that girl of your dreams, it will happen and when you least expect it :-)

[mickyboy]

age is a number well to me it is met the wife she was 36 i was 54 now im 63 she 45 who care we are happy but i do feel some times have i made her feel older then she is some times

[soundman]

I have started removing posts that are getting too personal. Try to be civil please.

Also, to the member POSTING IN ALL CAPS; please don't do this as it is the internet equivalent of shouting. Hard on the eyes. Forum mods tend to just remove posts in ALL CAPS from view without even reading them.

[HerbalEd]

You aren't really so much older than your 25 y.o. g/f. Also, how can you judge all "older" Thai women by just one 25 y.o., one? You can't.

[SGD]

great news son. I agree wholeheartedly.

I am late forties and my girl is 25 and beautiful.

As I type she has just finished sweeping, dusting and moping my entire home. It is her day off. She has a degree and works for a big company.

Everything is swimmingly good...but there is one huge problem lurking to torpedo both your and my relationships with these nubile young maidens.

Kids.

I often pinch myself when I wake up next to my girl. She cares for me, is amazing in bed (but still slaps me if I try to kiss her in public), and is smart, beautiful and good with money. She has a lot of options. She is no doubt thinking about kids, the white picket fence, the whole nine yards. And why wouldn't she. She studied hard and worked part time to put herself through college. She didn't fall pregnant in the village or lower her own moral value by working in a bar. She deserves a good partner and kids with that bloke. Problem is...I am not that bloke.

So the reality is we are both worthless pricks. If we weren't we would sit down right now with our respective partners and to tell them that we are not Mr right. And then release them to find a decent bloke who is able (and willing) to provide them with a life tatamount to their dreams.

I saw this coming before I ever went to live in Thailand and made the decision that, with the right girl, I (previously without kids) would not mind if kids came along. Had I been vehemently against the idea, I would have had a vasectomy.

For me it was a weigh up against an as then unfulfilled notion to procreate (though no real desire) and an unwillingness to put perhaps a decade into a relationship and then see it all implode due to my unwillingness or inability to have kids.

I would not have considered this approach were I in my late 40s or older. I was at the time in my early 30s.

[dotpoom]

The OP comes up with this well worn line again "If you have to buy her affection, aren't you some kind of loser?" Who are you to judge who is a loser and who is not..........how bl - -dy arrogant. There are as many reasons why people take care (or give money both the same thing) of their girlfriends or wives as there are blades of grass in a field. Some people actually love their partners and laugh and enjoy life all the more for being in their company. So much so that they would rather give her some money to take care of her responsibilities than have her going out to work 6 days a week for 12 hours a day. Instead, men like this see how short life actually is and , if they can afford it, spend that time getting the most out of whatever time is left to them on this planet. Instead of waiting at home for them all day or sitting in some pub...the time instead can be spent exploring Thailand together, sharing all the wonderful things like the views, sounds, observing the different ways of life etc., Occasionally stopping for pick-nicks or pulling in at a particularly nice location to eat and have a nap maybe.

Life is beautiful and mysterious OP....and as there are no shops in heaven why not share a little bit of one's money to travel and have a companion to share the adventure with and have as fun a time as possible.

Maybe you should rethink your statement about "losers". I am aware of this much for sure...those who have closed minds and like to judge others in order to give themselves a false sense of superiority (you should take an inventory and find out why you do that) are the ones who are missing out.

[JLCrab]

I enjoy reading these posts while/st keeping in mind -- especially for some of the high frequency posters -- that there is no ThaiVisa Forum rule of the 31 listed rules that says that anything a Member posts has to be true.

[atyclb]

Yes well that's all very well if both parties really are happy with it but get this; I live in the thick of the farang ghetto so I see age-gap couples every, single day at the mall when I buy my Western treats at the local mall.

Believe me when I tell you that 90% of the time, the guy looks as stressed out as the woman 20-30 years his junior at his side.

She will be trying her utmost to avoid the gaze of incredulity and pity from her fellow Thais who assume she's with the fossil for his wallet while he will be feeling his girlfriend's anxiety and sporting a glower of his own as he looks at foreign men chuckling away and the Thais sneering at her.

Is this stress and pitiful gazes more to do with the location of where you are seeing the couples?

Down around your way most of these relationships would be of a short time basis.

Yeah I dunno about you but I can tell the difference between a guy rolling out of Soi Cowboy with his barfine and a couple shopping for groceries at a gourmet food hall.

Yea, the gourmet food hall guy is paying the "long time rate" one way or another.

[cassde]

I agree with Costas2008 - I am 71 and my Thai wife is 30. The age gap does not bother us and we are oblivious to what others think. My wife's parents just want their daughter to be happy and are the best 'in-laws' you could have.

[atyclb]

The OP comes up with this well worn line again "If you have to buy her affection, aren't you some kind of loser?" Who are you to judge who is a loser and who is not..........how bl - -dy arrogant. There are as many reasons why people take care (or give money both the same thing) of their girlfriends or wives as there are blades of grass in a field. Some people actually love their partners and laugh and enjoy life all the more for being in their company. So much so that they would rather give her some money to take care of her responsibilities than have her going out to work 6 days a week for 12 hours a day. Instead, men like this see how short life actually is and , if they can afford it, spend that time getting the most out of whatever time is left to them on this planet. Instead of waiting at home for them all day or sitting in some pub...the time instead can be spent exploring Thailand together, sharing all the wonderful things like the views, sounds, observing the different ways of life etc., Occasionally stopping for pick-nicks or pulling in at a particularly nice location to eat and have a nap maybe.

Life is beautiful and mysterious OP....and as there are no shops in heaven why not share a little bit of one's money to travel and have a companion to share the adventure with and have as fun a time as possible.

Maybe you should rethink your statement about "losers". I am aware of this much for sure...those who have closed minds and like to judge others in order to give themselves a false sense of superiority (you should take an inventory and find out why you do that) are the ones who are missing out.

The characterization of "loser" surely can be countered by the ability-talent to create "exquisite rationalizations"

Edited March 12, 2014 by atyclb

[Tmymaimee]

So if she would actually be happier with someone her own age….as some posted here…..well, she was! He was 26, from New Zealand, made lots of money as a factory manager and put her in the hospital twice! Once for strangling her and second time for fracturing a rib. She's 42 kgs.

So you see….maybe some of you as*sholes should just shut your mouth when you have no idea what you're talking about.

Why does she work for 60B/hour and not quit her job and make 5000B/night at Baccara? Actually I asked her that and her comment was that yes, the money would be great but she loves her current job.

Its so easy to post here when you have no idea about the realities of someone's personal circumstances.

[Maggusoil]

An unexpected, unwanted and unneeded pregnancy has forced me into a relationship with a lady 40 years younger.

I have spent about 3 and a half of the last seven years together with her.

Despite her lack of education she is a naturally observant and clever person.

My inordinate good health and vitality, which I have always worked at, and her wisdom have contributed to an ongoing

relationship which has born fruit for the happiness and well being of our beautiful daughter.

I came here to compete in a surfing competition put up by the Phuket Surfboard Riders Club. I had no sexual ambitions,

that I do not normally have anyway. I did not know about Thailand's other reputation.

I am happy that Thai people do not have the same age conventions we have in the West and their attitudes to normal things

like homo sexuality are benign.

She has one piece of emotional baggage. No more Thai men. There is no discussion of anything else.

She is a great sport, great at sport, a bit of a tomboy, has a great sense of humour and when we are together, it is the easiest

relationship I have ever had. She is passionate, practical and loving.

I am a real rolling stone and I am amazed it has lasted this long, but then . .. there's the kid! That changes everything.

She has been a great person to make a mistake with. It has not all been smooth but that's life.

[whoisyourdaddy]

So if she would actually be happier with someone her own age.as some posted here..well, she was! He was 26, from New Zealand, made lots of money as a factory manager and put her in the hospital twice! Once for strangling her and second time for fracturing a rib. She's 42 kgs.

So you see.maybe some of you as*sholes should just shut your mouth when you have no idea what you're talking about.

Why does she work for 60B/hour and not quit her job and make 5000B/night at Baccara? Actually I asked her that and her comment was that yes, the money would be great but she loves her current job.

Its so easy to post here when you have no idea about the realities of someone's personal circumstances.

Of course she did, of course he was and no doubt he did.

Did you ask her in Thai why she does not work at baccara? I would have thought the answer would be " because I am not a hooker" instead of " I like my job"

[The Deerhunter]

Mate. Some things are better kept to yourself. When you post a controversial topic like this, you must expect the brickbats as well as the bouquets.

Optional read below::: Maybe could have been deleted.

Most of the posters have been here longer than you and have been there & done it all. Some have decided to settle down withe the-one-true-love and some are permanent sex tourists & barflies. And everything in between. Honestly, keep this sort of thing to yourself. Ask for advice on TV if you need it, but don't lay your life open for comment & criticism & then be surprised when it happens. Think twice before you post this sort of thing. It will do wonders for your blood pressure.

[wym]

An unexpected, unwanted and unneeded pregnancy has forced me into a relationship with a lady 40 years younger.

I have spent about 3 and a half of the last seven years together with her.

Despite her lack of education she is a naturally observant and clever person.

My inordinate good health and vitality, which I have always worked at, and her wisdom have contributed to an ongoing

relationship which has born fruit for the happiness and well being of our beautiful daughter.

I came here to compete in a surfing competition put up by the Phuket Surfboard Riders Club. I had no sexual ambitions,

that I do not normally have anyway. I did not know about Thailand's other reputation.

I am happy that Thai people do not have the same age conventions we have in the West and their attitudes to normal things

like homo sexuality are benign.

She has one piece of emotional baggage. No more Thai men. There is no discussion of anything else.

She is a great sport, great at sport, a bit of a tomboy, has a great sense of humour and when we are together, it is the easiest

relationship I have ever had. She is passionate, practical and loving.

I am a real rolling stone and I am amazed it has lasted this long, but then . .. there's the kid! That changes everything.

She has been a great person to make a mistake with. It has not all been smooth but that's life.

Lovely post AFAIC and wish you both - all three - the best life has to offer, more than you're already blessed with.

Just one side note - you weren't "forced" into anything, you just made the right choices. Remember to constantly tell your girls how blessed you realize you are for every day you have with them. Don't let that word "mistake" cross your lips anymore, it's just not true, everything is exactly the way it's supposed to be.

[captspectre]

I don't think anyone would stare at a 42-25 couple in Thailand. Why are you so self-conscious? Are you seeking validation?

why do you think that it is necessary to make such a statement like that? do you really think anyone gives a hoot how old the lady you are dating is? are you the president or something? do what you want but don't expect strangers to say, ooh! ahh! happens every day year end and year out. it just took you longer to catch on!

[captspectre]

Only a while back the OP was saying how happy he was to be with a teacher, but she was too sweaty, now it's an office worker. He goes on about GFs(plural) over the past few months. Were they really GFs or short term shags, a GF a month is a pretty short R.ship. Before that he was going on about how glad he was to be out of the bar scene and all that it entailed.

Sounds like he's still shagging himself through Thailand but in a different way. Nothing wrong with that but don't try to make some deep and meaningful comments about what it all means.

Tired of this guy's drivel.

the op plays the forum well,you see how all the old fools like his comments ,op is just an attention seeker,not been in thailand long but raking up plenty of posts on tv,pretty sad in my opinion but keeps the general section of the forum busy.

if i was going through the amount of girls op does i wouldn't be spending all that time posting here ,sure there would be more exciting things to be getting up to.

what does shagging around mean? is that part of the english language?

[Maggusoil]

An unexpected, unwanted and unneeded pregnancy has forced me into a relationship with a lady 40 years younger.

I have spent about 3 and a half of the last seven years together with her.

Despite her lack of education she is a naturally observant and clever person.

My inordinate good health and vitality, which I have always worked at, and her wisdom have contributed to an ongoing

relationship which has born fruit for the happiness and well being of our beautiful daughter.

I came here to compete in a surfing competition put up by the Phuket Surfboard Riders Club. I had no sexual ambitions,

that I do not normally have anyway. I did not know about Thailand's other reputation.

I am happy that Thai people do not have the same age conventions we have in the West and their attitudes to normal things

like homo sexuality are benign.

She has one piece of emotional baggage. No more Thai men. There is no discussion of anything else.

She is a great sport, great at sport, a bit of a tomboy, has a great sense of humour and when we are together, it is the easiest

relationship I have ever had. She is passionate, practical and loving.

I am a real rolling stone and I am amazed it has lasted this long, but then . .. there's the kid! That changes everything.

She has been a great person to make a mistake with. It has not all been smooth but that's life.

Lovely post AFAIC and wish you both - all three - the best life has to offer, more than you're already blessed with.

Just one side note - you weren't "forced" into anything, you just made the right choices. Remember to constantly tell your girls how blessed you realize you are for every day you have with them. Don't let that word "mistake" cross your lips anymore, it's just not true, everything is exactly the way it's supposed to be.

Thanks. you are right of course. Everything happens for a reason and I am destined for some more village life, with my daughter, 3rd step son, and thinking of making her pregnant again.

A good friend of mine, at his son's wedding, said in his speech a few years ago, "I just wanted (my son) to know how much I loved his mother."

That has been my guiding thought ever since.

[Sigurris]

I love the idea that, as some posters have made, that a large age difference is ok as long as you don't mind people laughing at you. So when I wake up next to a beautiful body 30 years younger than my own I will contemplate the jeers of my peers. Or not.

[thailampang2012]

Good for you! You are totally right!...and your age difference is perfect. and....sometimes... young women are more mature than older ones. People critics just hide the true....they are jealous! I know...my wife is beautiful..and 23 years younger than myself. Just one married son

Why date or get married with women with a lot of "luggage" or family troubles? I am a lot older than you now, but at your age do not make sense getting in complicated situations. Life is a lot less complicated just with one more person around. Children?..only your own..

May sound selfish, but dating or marrying women with kids is always a dilemma and a risk, because her children feelings and needs will be always more important than yours. Children may look "cute" and fun when are just kids.....Wait for them to be teenagers..and... you will remember your parents troubles when you at that age....I was a pain!... And everything come back in my memories when I dated here for few months a nice 42 years old woman.. but...with a 13 years old son.

Congrats!..and have fun!

Edited March 12, 2014 by thailampang2012