BKK Blues Brother Posted March 28, 2014 Share Posted March 28, 2014 If your a westerner in Thailand then the spoken language of communication with a Thai will be English or Thai. 99% of Thai's do not speak English, so you must have spent a fair amount of time speaking and learning Thai. Many couples i have met speak Thaiglish. A mixture of both. To get to the point's of my thread, i ask you the question's - Did your opinion of your partner change once you where communicating properly? Have you found a deeper bond once you crossed the language/cultural divide as east met west? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post kannot Posted March 28, 2014 Popular Post Share Posted March 28, 2014 you talk to your Wife? 17 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post benalibina Posted March 28, 2014 Popular Post Share Posted March 28, 2014 I will write down my experience about crosscultural communication with my wife, still. There was never much of a problem before we had kids. When we had our 1st born she took good care, later on with our twins 2. The moment our kids started to do the talk and walk and went to kindergarten while we lived near her place of birth my eyes opened more about (her)thai society and how things went on the school with teaching. Personally i did not like some aspects I encountered. IMO learning behaviour, manners etc starts in the house, by the parents and the school is not needed for that.I was always very strict and consistent to with my kids. I had a vision how to raise them. My wife was more slack, so the kids knew where they could get what they wanted. Whenever i tried to talk about those issues, the phone rang, she had to go to the toilet, quickly do shopping etc. I waited then to continue but....almost never. She always thought that a serious talk would lead to problems. So she found a reason to walk away from the issue. AVOIDANCE..... For little over 18 months, while i lived in europe i started blaming things on myself, wrong way of communication. I thought it was the culture by not willing to discuss. Now however i know alot more about everything. This as well by reading many topics on this forum. I just had bad luck and maybe my wife 2. It is just not taking responsability, lying, deceit and walking away was in my situation her answer. Since the kids could speak, i spoke always, simple, english to my wife. Not tinglish but simple words and short sentences. This occssionally mixed with the thai language. Before the kids could speak, we always spoke thai togerher. For east meets west and vice versa, it takes 2 to do it. When u have children together it is a neccessity. For me it was a 1way street unfortunately and i am fully aware by having walked through that street about the mistakes i made myself. If i could turn back time ! Nice OP though. 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wym Posted March 28, 2014 Share Posted March 28, 2014 verbal communication, other than functional necessities is highly over-rated soon's their English is better than my Thai - maybe eight months to a year for most, things quickly go downhill http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p5mWQFGF7w8#t=22s Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JLCrab Posted March 28, 2014 Share Posted March 28, 2014 Some of the fossils on here started traveling in Thailand, China, etc. 20 -30 years ago for the simple reason that they were good with languages. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seastallion Posted March 29, 2014 Share Posted March 29, 2014 My GF speaks English very well.....in fact she could teach a few people on here (including myself), a thing or two about grammar.Pronunciation can sometimes be a bit off but that will be just a matter of practice now that she has someone to talk to every day. We spend a lot of time chatting about anything and everything. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Somtamnication Posted March 29, 2014 Popular Post Share Posted March 29, 2014 Right after " I buy gold you ", communication improved exponentially! 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post hanno Posted March 29, 2014 Popular Post Share Posted March 29, 2014 Communicating and wife are oxymorons, regardless of language. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brianP Posted March 29, 2014 Share Posted March 29, 2014 These Thai women are as different as night and day, so too many variables exist to really formulate a specific core of communication enlightenment. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post banglay Posted March 29, 2014 Popular Post Share Posted March 29, 2014 My wife has an excellent command of the English Language which she need for her job as a nurse. and she still like to read the English Oxford Dictionary ( yes she actually reads the dictionary)..... The only down side to his is that it .has hindered my learning of the Thai language (that's my excuse anyway).... The Plus side is that with better communicate we argue less ...I do not think it is right to say cultural differences cause arguments and misunderstandings .....Communication is the key to happiness and more . 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
captnhoy Posted March 29, 2014 Share Posted March 29, 2014 It's not all about language skills. It's also about listening skills and I find that my wife is not such a good listener. If the exchange is unimportant many times I just drop it. If it is important it sometimes takes 2 or 3 times to be heard by her. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
umbanda Posted March 29, 2014 Share Posted March 29, 2014 I am 70 years old and never was good learning foreign languages. I am very sorry that cannot learn Thai, because I know for sure that my life here will improve a lot speaking the language, with my wife and its family, and the local people. I am lucky that my wife and its family have patience and understanding...and a wonderful sense of humor...but... with me talking Thai?...will be perfect! Anyway...I know that she will love if I learn Thai...and she will appreciates that more than anything..We will have a lot more fun too! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lucjoker Posted March 29, 2014 Share Posted March 29, 2014 this was the question: How long did it take to communicate effectively with your Thai partner?It took me 1 hour to "communicate"her in my bed. Could have been 5 minutes less or more. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Spoonman Posted March 29, 2014 Popular Post Share Posted March 29, 2014 I slap my missus on the forehead with my penis every time she does not understand me. Her English skills are improving. 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
i claudius Posted March 29, 2014 Share Posted March 29, 2014 When i met my wife her English was quite good as she had a good education ,we lived in the UK for many years and she learnt to read and write in English ,also our son was schooled in England ,we have always communicated well ,but i think that is more down to the fact that we are friends as well as lovers ,if this is the case you will always communicate well with your partner 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seastallion Posted March 29, 2014 Share Posted March 29, 2014 this was the question:How long did it take to communicate effectively with your Thai partner?It took me 1 hour to "communicate"her in my bed. Could have been 5 minutes less or more. What a man! You ARE da man. I wish I could be as manly and handsome as you, and pull a new one every night. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
laislica Posted March 29, 2014 Share Posted March 29, 2014 You asked: Did your opinion of your partner change once you where communicating properly? Have you found a deeper bond once you crossed the language/cultural divide as east met west? My answer: No and Yes. My GF's English had been learned in outside countries from people whose first language was not English so there were many problems. However, with a little patience (and a good talking dictionary) she learned to speak good English in less than three months. We choose not to speak Tinglish and always use correct English. I signed up for a Thai course online and now we have the fun of my (sort of) joining in with family conversations. Just to add to the fun, we live about half the time in Spain and that is a nightmare for my wife. Thai's don't pronounce the end of each word and that is a disaster in Spanish because the end of the word tells you who you are talking about, me, you, he, she, we, us, them etc. At first, my wife didn't want to expose me to all the problems that were happening in her family, she didn't want to scare me away LOL Once she learned that I wanted to help and I was not critical, she slowly opened up and now we have no (OK, very few) secrets and a lot mure fun. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Seastallion Posted March 29, 2014 Popular Post Share Posted March 29, 2014 I slap my missus on the forehead with my penis every time she does not understand me. Her English skills are improving. Vile. Not only is it not funny, but it expresses violence. Anyone who slaps their wife or gf is NOT a man. Anyone who beats their gf or wife sexually, is a pervert and NOT a man. 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dotpoom Posted March 29, 2014 Share Posted March 29, 2014 Our relation has deepened and blossomed since I learned Thai (and she learned English) and added to that taking the now love of my life to a fancy restaurant three times a week.................then on Saturdays once a month I take the wife out for a noodle special. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
benalibina Posted March 29, 2014 Share Posted March 29, 2014 When i met my wife her English was quite good as she had a good education ,we lived in the UK for many years and she learnt to read and write in English ,also our son was schooled in England ,we have always communicated well ,but i think that is more down to the fact that we are friends as well as lovers ,if this is the case you will always communicate well with your partner I agree with u that it is important that apart from being lovers, being good friends. IMO it is a great help, in order to communicate if the woman can speak good english and has a decent enough education. Most importantly i feel is the fact that the woman has an independent/open mind and is not being influenced by her family. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lucifer666 Posted March 29, 2014 Share Posted March 29, 2014 You are wrong!. 99% of Thai's DO speak English. It's the so-called English speakers that always seem to have a problem with the language. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seastallion Posted March 29, 2014 Share Posted March 29, 2014 It's not all about language skills. It's also about listening skills and I find that my wife is not such a good listener. If the exchange is unimportant many times I just drop it. If it is important it sometimes takes 2 or 3 times to be heard by her. Yeah, listening skills are an important thing for people of all races and both genders to learn. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Donnie Brasco Posted March 29, 2014 Popular Post Share Posted March 29, 2014 Right after " I buy gold you ", communication improved exponentially! When a gringo says something like that (and in that transliterative fashion) indicating several things. A) he's willing to surrender some serious cash he's willing to surrender his ability to communicate effectively in his native language with his principal partner C) he's up for entertaining his "mates" with cute "Noi & Ning" stories in bargirl English D) he thinks all Thais speak English like this E) he has concluded that all Thai women crave bargirl gold F) he hasn't had his rocket polished in years G) he'll soon be posting that "salary question" on TV "Sometimes, 'fuggedabowdit' just means fuggedabowdit. . . . " 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LNKDES1 Posted March 29, 2014 Share Posted March 29, 2014 Prior to leaving the States, 4 yrs ago, I bought a couple of Thai/English, English/Thai Language Apps for my iPod Touch. Best money I ever spent. I would have never met her without it. She now speaks very good English, while my Thai needs significant improvement. She uses the iPod also to translate her thoughts back into English for me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
benalibina Posted March 29, 2014 Share Posted March 29, 2014 You are wrong!. 99% of Thai's DO speak English. It's the so-called English speakers that always seem to have a problem with the language. This is a new one for me.....99%. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
laislica Posted March 29, 2014 Share Posted March 29, 2014 Right after " I buy gold you ", communication improved exponentially! When a gringo says something like that (and in that transliterative fashion) indicating several things. A) he's willing to surrender some serious cash he's willing to surrender his ability to communicate effectively in his native language with his principal partner C) he's up for entertaining his "mates" with cute "Noi & Ning" stories in bargirl English D) he thinks all Thais speak English like this E) he has concluded that all Thai women crave bargirl gold F) he hasn't had his rocket polished in years G) he'll soon be posting that "salary question" on TV "Sometimes, 'fuggedabowdit' just means fuggedabowdit. . . . " For goodness sake Donny, lighten up. This is the Thai Visa Forum and not a place to be taken seriously. Many of our members seem to want to impress other members by cracking jokes rather than making sensible and meaningful posts. My heartfelt advice is that such silly - childish - ridiculous posts are simply ignored. (Yes I now - I responded too) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
willyumiii Posted March 29, 2014 Share Posted March 29, 2014 To answer the question stated in the title of your thread and not asked in your post! I have known my wife for 13 years and have been married over 11 years and we still have difficulty communicating at times. If you are having difficulties, do you think it can be that you state topics and then do not address the topic you started? Just saying.... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post RBOP Posted March 29, 2014 Popular Post Share Posted March 29, 2014 Been married 13 1/2 years and still don't understand my wife. I think if we could communicate effectively we would be divorced. 10 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bobo42 Posted March 29, 2014 Share Posted March 29, 2014 Regarding my own wife, I would have never pursued the relationship at all if we hadn't been able to communicate well from the start. We sometimes lapse into our own strange idioms and Thainglish stupidities, but not very much - the great majority of the time, we just speak plain english. If she didn't communicate well in english from the start, I don't think we'd have ever got off the ground at all, as my Thai language skill was (and still is) dismal. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
uptheos Posted March 29, 2014 Share Posted March 29, 2014 this was the question:How long did it take to communicate effectively with your Thai partner?It took me 1 hour to "communicate"her in my bed. Could have been 5 minutes less or more. What a man! You ARE da man. I wish I could be as manly and handsome as you, and pull a new one every night. Everyone's a hansum man here and you don't need to 'pull one' every night, they'll pull you. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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