Thai ladies and modesty

[kingstonkid]

I have been here a little over 3 years but as with most still learning.

Is it just that some girls are more westernized or can someone explain the

I thai I shy

Philosophy

It drives me crazy at times. We go shopping she sees a top that is nice I buy it for her and she never wears it.

Reason I thai I shy

[SamSipEt]

Part of it is that as soon as you offer to buy it for her she has to say yes otherwise she makes you lose face by saying no. Once purchased she has to have a reason not wear it and "I Thai I shy" is as good as any.

Solution?

None that I know of but perhaps she could wear it in bed

[Sparkles]

I am surprised after 3 years you haven't caught onto this particular Thai trait.Suggest if she likes its so much she can buy it herself...problem solved.

[art vandelay]

was the item of clothing vastly different to what she usually wears? or different to what thai girls of similar background to your gf wear?

thai's love to play the thai culture card to suit their purpose; thai lady never have sex before marriage, thai lady not have baby if not married, thai lady not hold hands with man, thai lady not free sex (whatever free sex is?!) and so on... the task you have is to work out what is actually going on in her head. good luck with that.

[thrilled]

Most thai women are very conservative.So she might like it but maybe never wear it.If you give her some mad money every month to do what she want,then she shouldn't have any problem buying it.Then you ask her to model it for you.

[smotherb]

Most thai women are very conservative.So she might like it but maybe never wear it.If you give her some mad money every month to do what she want,then she shouldn't have any problem buying it.Then you ask her to model it for you.

"If you give her some mad money every month . . . " Is that your total understanding of any relationship with a girl? I believe most conservative Thai girls would be insulted if you offered them money every month.

[silent]

was the item of clothing vastly different to what she usually wears? or different to what thai girls of similar background to your gf wear? thai's love to play the thai culture card to suit their purpose; thai lady never have sex before marriage, thai lady not have baby if not married, thai lady not hold hands with man, thai lady not free sex (whatever free sex is?!) and so on... the task you have is to work out what is actually going on in her head. good luck with that.

You mean......what head games are going on in her head?

[Docno]

Context is also important. My Thai gf will dress very conservatively in Thailand (shorts under skirts, no bikinis when swimming, etc.) but will 'relax' her clothing restrictions when we travel to other countries. [Funnily enough, she goes conservative style in Laos and Cambodia, probably as she sees them sharing the same Buddhist ethos].

[IMA_FARANG]

Cultural thing.

Have you ever been at Soi Cowboy just before the dancing starts?

The girls will come in wearing their street clothes, and change into whatever they are (barely) wearing while dancing.

When they are up on stage they may be dancing nude in front of the customers, but when they change from their street clothes they will go somewhere to remove their clothes and into their dancing costume.

That seperates their JOB as a nude dancer from their REAL identity as a Thai woman.

That percieved seperation is what they want, dancing nude in front of a bunch of leering men is their JOB, not their reality.

When I was in Vietnam during the Vietnam war I saw the same thing.

And there were some bars there that would make Soi Cowboy look tame.

It's what they percieve they are .... not what others percieve they are that's important to them.

That's how they keeep their self-esteem and sanity.

[laislica]

My wife told me that Thai's are shy, it's the way they are brought up.

The naked body is seen as ugly and they neither like to look at it or show it.

She wears more in bed than in the street LOL Some of the dresses she wears at night, I had thought that she had bought them as day wear.

There are times when she wears less though.....

Perhaps you need to polish your communications skills a little?

(One mouth and ten ears?)

(I think that is a rule of thumb when communicating with the opposite sex)

[dotpoom]

"Is it just that some girls are more westernized or can someone explain"

Not sure I understand that part of the OP...is it saying that "modesty" has taken over the west?

[Thainess]

Cultural thing.

Have you ever been at Soi Cowboy just before the dancing starts?

The girls will come in wearing their street clothes, and change into whatever they are (barely) wearing while dancing.

When they are up on stage they may be dancing nude in front of the customers, but when they change from their street clothes they will go somewhere to remove their clothes and into their dancing costume.

That seperates their JOB as a nude dancer from their REAL identity as a Thai woman.

That percieved seperation is what they want, dancing nude in front of a bunch of leering men is their JOB, not their reality.

When I was in Vietnam during the Vietnam war I saw the same thing.

And there were some bars there that would make Soi Cowboy look tame.

It's what they percieve they are .... not what others percieve they are that's important to them.

That's how they keeep their self-esteem and sanity.

Hmmm, I don't think self-esteem is much in evidence among go-go dancers, either in Thailand or any other country. After a while, that work will take your sanity too. The Thai women who have self-esteem are those who'd rather scan goods at 7-11 all day long for 8,000 a month rather than selling their body to a greasy fat farang in a bar, even though they could easily make the same 8,000 in 2 nights.

[gandalf12]

Thailand is a very conservative country despite what most people would believe. Many foreigners believe that every Thai woman is the same as the girls who work the bars; they are not. Once you come to terms with that you wont have any real problems

[kennypowers]

Cultural thing.

Have you ever been at Soi Cowboy just before the dancing starts?

The girls will come in wearing their street clothes, and change into whatever they are (barely) wearing while dancing.

When they are up on stage they may be dancing nude in front of the customers, but when they change from their street clothes they will go somewhere to remove their clothes and into their dancing costume.

That seperates their JOB as a nude dancer from their REAL identity as a Thai woman.

That percieved seperation is what they want, dancing nude in front of a bunch of leering men is their JOB, not their reality.

When I was in Vietnam during the Vietnam war I saw the same thing.

And there were some bars there that would make Soi Cowboy look tame.

It's what they percieve they are .... not what others percieve they are that's important to them.

That's how they keeep their self-esteem and sanity.

Spot on!

[belg]

you say to her :

me buy gold you

me buy house you

no more shy

[uptheos]

Cultural thing.

Have you ever been at Soi Cowboy just before the dancing starts?

The girls will come in wearing their street clothes, and change into whatever they are (barely) wearing while dancing.

When they are up on stage they may be dancing nude in front of the customers, but when they change from their street clothes they will go somewhere to remove their clothes and into their dancing costume.

That seperates their JOB as a nude dancer from their REAL identity as a Thai woman.

That percieved seperation is what they want, dancing nude in front of a bunch of leering men is their JOB, not their reality.

When I was in Vietnam during the Vietnam war I saw the same thing.

And there were some bars there that would make Soi Cowboy look tame.

It's what they percieve they are .... not what others percieve they are that's important to them.

That's how they keeep their self-esteem and sanity.

Spot on!

Surely those who are hoping to make a killing and pulled out quickly, really want others to perceive them as some wild for sex whore who will swing from the lampshades for a bundle. If this doesn't alter perception of self at the same time, nothing will.

[HerbalEd]

There's a very simple solution. Give her shopping money to buy what she wants. Problem solved.

[flyingdoc]

Thai ladies in general are extremely modest, despite the reputation worldwide of a very small minority.

[HerbalEd]

Most thai women are very conservative.So she might like it but maybe never wear it.If you give her some mad money every month to do what she want,then she shouldn't have any problem buying it.Then you ask her to model it for you.

"If you give her some mad money every month . . . " Is that your total understanding of any relationship with a girl? I believe most conservative Thai girls would be insulted if you offered them money every month.

You're joking right?? Unless she has significant amount of money herself, very very few would turn down monthly money.

[Donnie Brasco]

you say to her :

me buy gold you

me buy house you

no more shy

So if I remember my primary school BG English you are suggesting to this poor gal glammed-out farmerette that you are prepared to buy HER gold and HER house ;-$

The correct iteration here entails a preposition such as "for".

me buy gold (GOnd) for you

me buy (make) how for you

But why not give her a break and go all in ?

I'll buy gold for you

I'll buy a house for you

Your assessment of her reaction to having to pronounce and locute with some precision will tell you if the whole exercise is even worth taking beyond the "ding fo' meee . . . . . . . . ding fo' my fein." stage.

Would this not be better moved to the TV Linguistics Department then, ;-?

"Sometimes, 'fuggedabowdit' just means fuggedabowdit. . . . "

Edited March 31, 2014 by Donnie Brasco

[HerbalEd]

was the item of clothing vastly different to what she usually wears? or different to what thai girls of similar background to your gf wear? thai's love to play the thai culture card to suit their purpose; thai lady never have sex before marriage, thai lady not have baby if not married, thai lady not hold hands with man, thai lady not free sex (whatever free sex is?!) and so on... the task you have is to work out what is actually going on in her head. good luck with that.

How many Thai ladies have you actually know? As to your "thai's love to play the thai culture card to suit their purpose" ... looks like the card they're playing is you

[Donnie Brasco]

To address the OP, taking all things into consideration: giggling Thai boys sending porn shots, their OWN exposure to porn! nascent curiosity, hormonal squalls, the innately ribald thread of Thai humor etc, Thai prudishness is vastly exaggadrated.

They have the raunchiest schoolgirl humour I have EVER encountered. And they give you glimpses of it when they are flirting with you. . . . . . . . . (IF they like you.)

Once she's focussed and she's decided that some of that incredibly naughty stuff might be fun there will be no end to her raunchiness and good luck stopping her. She is just dying to do all that internet sh!t . . . . . . . for the right guy.

But, once you have empowered her . . . . . And I mean POWER. . . . . . . . Can you handle it ?

"Sometimes, 'fuggedabowdit' just means fuggedabowdit. . . . "

[laislica]

was the item of clothing vastly different to what she usually wears? or different to what thai girls of similar background to your gf wear? thai's love to play the thai culture card to suit their purpose; thai lady never have sex before marriage, thai lady not have baby if not married, thai lady not hold hands with man, thai lady not free sex (whatever free sex is?!) and so on... the task you have is to work out what is actually going on in her head. good luck with that.

How many Thai ladies have you actually know? As to your "thai's love to play the thai culture card to suit their purpose" ... looks like the card they're playing is you

Nah, it's more likely a culture thing.

The young lady is perhaps a little insecure in the relationship,

she wants to avoid the confrontation that non acceptance of a gift might bring.

She accepts the gift to make her young man happy to be able to give,

She just doesn't wear it and hopes that her action is the lesser of the evils.....

Suggesting that you would like to buy her a new dress and that she should surprise you with the choice, you only pay might be a solution, it's a communication thing?

[laislica]

To address the OP, taking all things into consideration: giggling Thai boys sending porn shots, their OWN exposure to porn! nascent curiosity, hormonal squalls, the innately ribald thread of Thai humor etc, Thai prudishness is vastly exaggadrated.

They have the raunchiest schoolgirl humour I have EVER encountered. And they give you glimpses of it when they are flirting with you. . . . . . . . . (IF they like you.)

Once she's focussed and she's decided that some of that incredibly naughty stuff might be fun there will be no end to her raunchiness and good luck stopping her. She is just dying to do all that internet sh!t . . . . . . . for the right guy.

But, once you have empowered her . . . . . And I mean POWER. . . . . . . . Can you handle it ?

"Sometimes, 'fuggedabowdit' just means fuggedabowdit. . . . "

Oh Er what?

(Nice to dream though LOL)

[fatdrunkandstupid]

I love this facet of Thai female persona.

It is so much more exciting than the trashy Paris Hilton wannabe behaviour of young western girls.

Because of her modesty, when I shag my thai girl I often feel like a young lad again, back in the west, risking a shag in the girlfriend's house while the parents are in the next room...

Not often we get to relive our youth...

[wileycoyote]

Yes it is true ,most are shy

[Guest]

To address the OP, taking all things into consideration: giggling Thai boys sending porn shots, their OWN exposure to porn! nascent curiosity, hormonal squalls, the innately ribald thread of Thai humor etc, Thai prudishness is vastly exaggadrated.

They have the raunchiest schoolgirl humour I have EVER encountered. And they give you glimpses of it when they are flirting with you. . . . . . . . . (IF they like you.)

Once she's focussed and she's decided that some of that incredibly naughty stuff might be fun there will be no end to her raunchiness and good luck stopping her. She is just dying to do all that internet sh!t . . . . . . . for the right guy.

But, once you have empowered her . . . . . And I mean POWER. . . . . . . . Can you handle it ?

"Sometimes, 'fuggedabowdit' just means fuggedabowdit. . . . "

I dont know the type of thai girl you are flirting with but i think it would be for money, real thai ladies, not bar girls, are modest and reserved particularly when out, they do not like showing their feelings in public.

[LaraC]

Cultural thing.

Have you ever been at Soi Cowboy just before the dancing starts?

The girls will come in wearing their street clothes, and change into whatever they are (barely) wearing while dancing.

When they are up on stage they may be dancing nude in front of the customers, but when they change from their street clothes they will go somewhere to remove their clothes and into their dancing costume.

That seperates their JOB as a nude dancer from their REAL identity as a Thai woman.

That percieved seperation is what they want, dancing nude in front of a bunch of leering men is their JOB, not their reality.

When I was in Vietnam during the Vietnam war I saw the same thing.

And there were some bars there that would make Soi Cowboy look tame.

It's what they percieve they are .... not what others percieve they are that's important to them.

That's how they keeep their self-esteem and sanity.

Sorry, im confused, you are using bar girls as an example of Thai female modesty?

Not wanting to wear stripper gear or no clothes out in public prior to working in a go go bar is something i think most women the entire world over do.

Nothing to do with Thai female modesty, its just normal.

If a woman from the US works as a stripper/pole dancer or even a job at hooters, do you really think the wears those clothes on her way to work...?

The mind boggles.

[LaraC]

Thailand is a very conservative country despite what most people would believe. Many foreigners believe that every Thai woman is the same as the girls who work the bars; they are not. Once you come to terms with that you wont have any real problems

No no you must have it wrong, THailand is liberated and free, not conservative at all. For, according to most of THaivisa every THai woman is highly sexually charged (but only with their partners of course, who may or may not be twice her age or so) but at the same time open to their men having giks on the side. On top of that when their guy gets home, after he has been out whoring and drinking, the house is all clean and dusted and dinner on the table...served with a smile, with not a complaint about anything in sight.

[LaraC]

I love this facet of Thai female persona.

It is so much more exciting than the trashy Paris Hilton wannabe behaviour of young western girls.

Because of her modesty, when I shag my thai girl I often feel like a young lad again, back in the west, risking a shag in the girlfriend's house while the parents are in the next room...

Not often we get to relive our youth...

Shag and modesty in the same sentence is like watching someone talking about appreciation for fine dining, whilst eating a macdonalds burger.

.and you really think that most western girls mimic Paris Hilton? O.o??

"Not often we get to relive our youth..." < ahh ok, nvm, that explains it..