I Call Her 'khun Latch'

[GuestHouse]

Once again my wife and I find ourselves subjected to what I can only describe as a ‘Khun Latch’.

To explain, in the last four countries we have been assigned to we have also had the company of Thai colleges, not always the same team, but nevertheless Thais who I have previosuly worked with or at least worked on the same projects with before.

This is something of a boon for my wife on account of there being a ready made Thai community to join, not just my Thai colleges but their families too.

On each occasion this, shall we say ‘seed’ community has grown as they and my wife meet other Thais, again all to the good.

That is until ‘Khun Latch’ turns up …….. and refuses to leave.

'Khun Latch' is always in her early 30s and single. (read on before you get any ideas).

The last ‘Khun Latch’ (in the UK) would turn up on the doorstep at any time of the day or night with some lame excuse that she just happened to be passing, or needed a hand with something, or had come to collect the book she had conveniently left the last time she visited’.

This got to the point where I don’t think there was a single day ‘Khun Latch’ didn’t happen by, either calling around the house or wandering into the coffee shop she knew we’d be in. Her visits to our house could last from almost dawn to dusk and beyond.

For my wife, who is seldom backward at coming forward (well certainly not when I cross the line), this seemed impossible, she’d not answer the door, she’d not answer the phone, she’d not let her plans be known but she would not, indeed could not tell ‘Khun Latch’ face to face that she was not welcome 24/7.

When I discussed this with one of my Thai colleges in the desperate hope of getting some advice, he confessed that the very same ‘Khun Latch’ was, when not camping out at my home, coming up with the exact same excuses to be around his house – and he admitted that he and his wife (both Thai) were also unable to face up to telling ‘Khun Latch’ to s0d off.

Now I know, you can say ‘Khun Latch’ was lonely and that I should be more charitable, but there has to be a line somewhere; and anyhow all efforts to sort her loneliness out (ie get one of my mates to help her balance her hormones), failed… miserably.. most could not stand more than an evening of her company.

We never got rid of ‘Kun Latch’ until we moved countries…. How drastic is that!

As I say that was who I like to call the UK ‘Khun Latch’, there had been one in Vietnam and another in Manila, though I hasten to add, not nearly as imposing.

However, I’ve learned to spot the early signs now, so when ‘Khun Latchia’ (The one waiting for us in Italy) turned up I/we immediately spotted her for what she is and knew exactly what to expect, I/we could see precisely where it was going:

The manipulation, the imaginative use of ‘Greng Jai’, the utter helplessness of my wife to tell ‘Khun Latchia’ that enough is enough.

I’ve decided I must act and act soon. I’m planning imaginative deterrents to keep ‘Khun Latchia’ from our door. (All suggestions welcome).

Meanwhile, I asked my wife the other morning, (using extreme caution unless the question gave rise to a visitation), ‘Have you heard from our UK Khun Latch recently?’

‘No’ she said, ‘Not one peep since the day we left the UK’.

Very much for the better is my view, but nevertheless a very curious side to some Thais.

[Thaipwriter]

I would n't mind a Khun Sn...

[GuestHouse]

Behave yourself!

[roamer]

You only had one Khun Latch in the UK ? My God you were lucky !! After 5 years in the UK my wife has started ducking behind clothes rails in shops if she spots another Thai. Almost without exception the Thais she has met in the UK have done nothing but bring their own problems to our door, there seems to be such a reluctance to integrate into the community, not simply language problems. Avoidance seems to be the only cure....

[britmaveric]

GH - why didnt you tell Khun Latch yourself? It's awkward, but I think if you said smth to the effect do not stop by without being invited Khun Latch would get the message.

[Thaising]

She must have very thick skin to tails your wife and you whatever you reside.

Edited June 6, 2006 by Thaising

[cdnvic]

Whenever she comes to your house have some great task ready like cleaning it from top to bottom, or washing all the windows inside and out that she can join in on. She will either learn to associate your residence with hard work and avoid it in favour of someone else with no such tasks, or you will aquire inexpensive domestic help.

cv

[jackr]

... or you could tell her to f$&k off!

[Thaipwriter]

Whenever she comes to your house have some great task ready like cleaning it from top to bottom, or washing all the windows inside and out that she can join in on. She will either learn to associate your residence with hard work and avoid it in favour of someone else with no such tasks, or you will aquire inexpensive domestic help.

cv

A few big tins of paint and some rollers near the front door would be enough to see the back of her!

[KhunMarco]

That's easy, invite to your home the most "coatto-burino" Romano guy you can find around, and tell her he feels lonely and need company and he will stay at your home for a while.

Tshirt of the Roma F.C. , bandana S.P.Q.R., oversized gold chain around the neck, long and ungroomed hair, 3 day- beard, waving his hands like crazy, a bit smelly.

Look around , it's not hard to find 'em.

I guarantee a success!!

[samran]

Someone said before that having being a farang husband is useful.

Let your wife make it known, that K.Guesthouse (ie you) doesn't like unannounced visitors. Make youself the bad guy (via the wife of course...you say nothing). Your wife gets to keep face, and you get your peace...

My old man was very often the bad guy for mums purposes of denial. Usually worked. Now she blames stuff on me when she gets to thailand and tries to avoid the 'friends' that seem to sniff out that she is here.

In the meantime, wherever possible, say no... ie no, don't have time to chat...need to wash my hair.....oh! we were just steping out. Let it be known that you are not going to be home when you actually are, and vice versa. Make her feel as uncofortable as possible. Make sure that to maintaining the relationship is very hard work on her behalf.

[Donz]

Get an AVO out on her, that should stop her

[chuchok]

Someone said before that having being a farang husband is useful.

Let your wife make it known, that K.Guesthouse (ie you) doesn't like unannounced visitors. Make youself the bad guy (via the wife of course...you say nothing). Your wife gets to keep face, and you get your peace...

My old man was very often the bad guy for mums purposes of denial. Usually worked. Now she blames stuff on me when she gets to thailand and tries to avoid the 'friends' that seem to sniff out that she is here.

In the meantime, wherever possible, say no... ie no, don't have time to chat...need to wash my hair.....oh! we were just steping out. Let it be known that you are not going to be home when you actually are, and vice versa. Make her feel as uncofortable as possible. Make sure that to maintaining the relationship is very hard work on her behalf.

that's the best advise so far.

When'it' comes over, rant and rave at the wife in the backgroung.Act like an complete ar$ehole.Mrs G can easily make excuses for you and wanting to be alone etc.

Mrs Chuchok quite likes a quiet time to herself .She has made it known to people that used to "pop" over, that I don't like that sort of thing.The truth is that I don't really give a hoot.

Edited June 6, 2006 by chuchok

[TRIPxCORE]

Once again my wife and I find ourselves subjected to what I can only describe as a ‘Khun Latch’.

To explain, in the last four countries we have been assigned to we have also had the company of Thai colleges, not always the same team, but nevertheless Thais who I have previosuly worked with or at least worked on the same projects with before.

This is something of a boon for my wife on account of there being a ready made Thai community to join, not just my Thai colleges but their families too.

I am not making fun of you or anything, but I was really confused. With the words I highlighted above, I assume you meant to say "colleagues" and just misspelled it. Is that right? I was confused.

[Guest endure]

Get an AVO out on her, that should stop her

What are you going to do? Measure her resistance?

[redrus]

Get an AVO out on her, that should stop her

What are you going to do? Measure her resistance?

ASBO..........?

redrus

[Ned]

I agree with Samran on this one. That is if you haven't got it in you to tell her yourself not to visit so much and for so long ,have the wife warn the Latch that the farang husband is unpredictable and like most farang prone to fits of anger and violence. You don't have to get involved at all. You've got no face to lose......you never had much in the first place being a farang and if you lose face in their eyes then you've got a personality problem anyhow. That's what I reckon.

[jaiyenjohn]

Have your wife tell her that you are interested in a menage-a-trois, a little three-way action.

Either she avoids your house after that, or she doesn't. Either way you win

[GuestHouse]

Have your wife tell her that you are interested in a menage-a-trois, a little three-way action.

Now there's a thought.

-------------------

Getting rid of Khun Latchia is, as others have noted, easy enough. The point I'm making is that where ever we go there seem to be these women in the Thai community, and as I said, they latch on to others too.

It seems to me they are totally unable to exist without latching onto another Thai while at the same time extremely adept at using every trick in the Thai culture book to get what they want.

[Ijustwannateach]

It's an extreme case of the emotional dependency fostered in Asian communities.

I'd imagine these Khun Latch types have more people to parasitise here in Thailand and so their annoyance value is more limited- they may also serve a semi-useful purpose such as spreading news and gossip, or as an informal postman.

Abroad, no foreigners will put up with it for a moment, and they lose their source of attention- so any available Thais become irresistible.

Nevertheless, she's a kind of energy vampire- no life of her own so she feeds off of yours. You can't let this type stay around too much. You're going to have to bite the bullet and be the bad guy, I think- either directly or by proxy (as suggested above). Simple excuses to keep her out of your home aren't going to stop her from stalking you at restaurants, malls, etc.

If I were Miss Manners I'd say she's the rude one in this situation, because she has been inconsiderate of your feelings and needs. In fact, she is taking advantage of your politeness by preying on your good nature (presuming that you will not be so rude as to tell her off directly). Therefore there is no need to avoid bluntness in communicating to her that her presence is not wanted. No doubt that anyone to whom she complains of this will only wish they had thought of it first.

"Steven"

[britmaveric]

GH - hmmm always could set Khun Latchia up with a mate. (problem solved unless she still comes over and brings the mate with her )

[itsme]

That's easy, invite to your home the most "coatto-burino" Romano guy you can find around, and tell her he feels lonely and need company and he will stay at your home for a while.

Tshirt of the Roma F.C. , bandana S.P.Q.R., oversized gold chain around the neck, long and ungroomed hair, 3 day- beard, waving his hands like crazy, a bit smelly.

Look around , it's not hard to find 'em.

I guarantee a success!!

Marco....I don't know why I feel touched by such poetry, maybe because I was born in Roma and I support the Roma team sinvce I can remember however I am not that "coatto" like you described but I have to admit that some of my friends are exactly as you described in your post..........you see? Success guaranteed

Sorry Guesthouse but I couldn't resist

[rishi]

Whenever she comes to your house have some great task ready like cleaning it from top to bottom, or washing all the windows inside and out that she can join in on. She will either learn to associate your residence with hard work and avoid it in favour of someone else with no such tasks, or you will aquire inexpensive domestic help.

No better way exists --- it even works in Thailand. All are benefitted (as long as it lasts) - nobody gets offended.