Dating tips thread

[AussieSteve]

The gym that I go to has very attractive and friendly ladies. You might want to sign up and check out the gym scene.

At least you will know that they have some money because it isn't cheap for a good gym.

Good luck

[TonyPaul]

I have been living in Thailand for 6 years. In so many ways Thai women are opposite to Western women. Whereas western women will often be defensive if you complement them on say their looks, Thai women usually love it.

Thai women love to be complemented on their looks, I think because many genuinely beautiful women in Thailand think that they are not good looking and are insecure about themselves.

One of the first Thai lines you can learn is: Khun mee yímsŭay (You have smile beautiful) Thai women genuinely love to be told that.

Just be careful about how you pronounce the sŭay . The tone falls and then rises back up. If you say sŭay in a flat tone it means "To be unlucky" Not quite the result you are looking for. Welcome to the minefield of learning to speak Thai!

[mdmayes]

First, you sound a bit insecure so just be yourself. After all, you want a gal you likes the real you, don't you?

About 1/2 of your post is regarding meeting women. An expat who's lived in Thailand many years and who does speak Thai gave me this answer about finding a Thai woman:

"You don't find them. They find you."

Hmm wonder what in the post made me sound insecure? I'm really not, and have no trouble finding girls in my home country just by being myself. Reason I'm asking is that as it's a different culture perhaps different things are valued by girls there in Thailand than here in Farangland. Just want to arrive there prepared

That's true, should have named it "Where to meet Thai girls and tips for dating thread" instead, perhaps a mod can change it.

Thanks for the tip though.

What is your intention by dating girls.....love, friendship or sex ?

Any of the three, depending on circumstances. Finding a girlfriend would be great.

I would think by the act of posting on this site is showing some insecurities.

[eastcanje]

I have been active on the Thai dating scene, mainly in Chiang Mai, and I found this article to be very valuable: https://www.thaiyak.com/13-point-checklist

Thank you Pki - this list should be handed out to every 'single' man who enters Thailand. When I came to Thailand I learned the three most important rules: 1. Never fall in love with a bar girl. 2. Never fall in love with a bar girl. 3. Never fall in love with a bar girl. Every day hundreds of western men are breaking one of those three rules. With sad consequences. Thank you for these 13 more reasons to be careful.

Been there, done that, and many girls are so different from western women that it's easy to do. However, experienced (Thai) expats espouse the "three-day rule" where you don't see the same girl more than three times for this very reason.

[maximillian]

First time I came to Thailand I was your age. Met two wonderful young ladies without even looking for one.

My big mistake, I'm still sorry about, was not to be able to decide which one's the best choice. Lost them both.

Idiot I was.

[eastcanje]

Don't forget to bring your wallet as you will be paying for everything. Bar or normal girls it seems to be the same with a few very rare exceptions. I went to see a girl once and she said she only wanted to be friends, she brought a friend along and when we split the bill, a few days later she asks why I did not pay for all. Be prepared for money, money and more focus on money. For Buddhists its amazing how materialistic they all seem to be and don't forget to wear a rubber for safety and also there are enough single mothers in this world.

I'm not sure how accurate this is. I am seeing a very nice woman who insists on sometimes picking up the tab, and so far, except for a stuffed animal, has refused all gifts from me!

[Rockhopper]

Read the books!

"Thailand Fever" by Chris Pirazzi and Vitida Vasant

"Private Dancer" by Stephen Leather

"Working With The Thais" by Henry Holmes and Suchada Tangtonglavy

[winstonc]

wearing shorts on a date?????

90 degrees i see no problem..maybe a three piece suit then..like the one some people on here think you have to wear to immigration..

[Old Stud]

I think the topic of dating in Thailand is such a sore subject with many men who have come here and been hurt, or disillusioned, or taken advantage of. I think you are being supported, OP, to have a good relationship. This is TV and those of us who have been there and learned, will want to offer ideas or tips so you don't end up in the same boat as countless innocent, or naive farangs who come to Thailand thinking the perfect gal is easy to find. I liked the 13 tips and I think reading those books is a good idea, but it really comes down to placement. Being in the right place at the right time - with eyes wide open. I truly wish you well.

[elgordo38]

I used Thai Love Links where I met my g/f of over 2 yrs. She is much younger than me but a real pistol. Like me she does not drink or smoke and is not a party animal. TLL has someone for everybody and at your age testosterone is strong and there are lots of girls to choose from in every category. She and I corresponded, Skyped fought made up for over 3 months before formally meeting. We came to a mutual arrangement and never looked back. I have met many ATM girls but she asked for things always using the word PLEASE and THANK YOU. I work on her English (which is good) expanding it and we are like two peas in a pod. Sorry to ramble on but she is just great. I hope you find the same. There are always tell tale signs in conversation that you can pick up on to tell you where she is coming from.

[Old Stud]

I think the topic of dating in Thailand is such a sore subject with many men who have come here and been hurt, or disillusioned, or taken advantage of. I think you are being supported, OP, to have a good relationship. This is TV and those of us who have been there and learned, will want to offer ideas or tips so you don't end up in the same boat as countless innocent, or naive farangs who come to Thailand thinking the perfect gal is easy to find. I liked the 13 tips and I think reading those books is a good idea, but it really comes down to placement. Being in the right place at the right time - with eyes wide open. I truly wish you well.

[bigbamboo]

What is your intention by dating girls.....love, friendship or sex ?

He's a 24 year old guy. What do you think?

At his age I subscribed to the wise old words of Samuel Johnson.......... "A man's life is incomplete until he marries. Then it's finished."

[dukeandduke]

I think the topic of dating in Thailand is such a sore subject with many men who have come here and been hurt, or disillusioned, or taken advantage of. I think you are being supported, OP, to have a good relationship. This is TV and those of us who have been there and learned, will want to offer ideas or tips so you don't end up in the same boat as countless innocent, or naive farangs who come to Thailand thinking the perfect gal is easy to find. I liked the 13 tips and I think reading those books is a good idea, but it really comes down to placement. Being in the right place at the right time - with eyes wide open. I truly wish you well.

You can say that again.

[foxteen]

what about meet some old virgins and there plenty around Thailand...age bracket 34 up to 50

and they are virgins...i try one 42 years old and she happy now.

[wileycoyote]

Thai girls are like all girls in the world with an exception being they may have pre-conceived ideas of how a farang (foreigner) is like.

1.Some may assume all farang men are rich and thus you may automatically seem more attractive here.

Don't let it get to your head. Use your judgement on why they may be interested in you.

2. Some may assume you are a sex-pat and feel uncomfortable because thai women holding hands with a farang are often automatically assumed to be involved in the trade. Treat her respectfully and if she is confident you are SINCERE AND SERIOUS and do not have that attitude that all women can be bought then you can open yourself to a whole new crowd of girls.

3. Some may assume you don't have manners (thai manners) and thus will not consider you as being presentable to family (more applicable to educated upper class girls who need family approval).

Show her you understand thai customs and cultures and that not all farangs are neanderthals.

In the end, like many have advised, you have to be yourself, but we all could be a better version of ourselves if we understood the mind of Venus, but then again we're from Mars so good luck and watch out for the "Adonis syndrome."

Good posting

[NoshowJones]

Have lots of money and an ATM card. That's all you need.

Yes, then it will not matter if you are fat, ugly,tattooed and facial haired.

[Lokie]

fitfalang,

Quote OP;

I am 23 myself and looking to date girls in the 18-24 brackets. My advantages are that I'm ok looking, fit and healthy, hygienic and a sociable person. My disadvantages are that I will have a pretty low salary, I don't speak any Thai (will try to fix this asap) and most of all I lack experience in interacting with good Thais!

​Unfortunately under the tried and tested method of most courting rituals undertaken here in LOS, you are in the 'Young Mans trap' Your advantages which would hold well in the West are completely wiped out by your one disadvantage - Low salary,

or as one Old stalwart put it: "I got me a pocketful of Hansum!" see as long as you got a bulge in your pants (of $) or a good piece of plastic then you will be popular, the minute you ain't you will be invisible, is all part of the learning curve - enjoy...

Oh some other good bedtime reading is: A fool in Paradise and The Fool is Back.., as the German Policeman said in the film The Great Escape - Good, Luck!

[spermwhale]

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If you date 1 stick with her unless you want to carry your penis to the reattachment clinic after girl number 2 pops up on the scene.

That's b.s.. I've been caught many times by women when I had them on a rotating schedule sometimes five different ones in one week. None of them ever to hurt me.

[spermwhale]

If you're coming here you'll find plenty of nice and cute girls to date and you should not stick with just one.

Here are my top 10 tips for successful girl juggling:

1. Buy a dog hair remover... one of those rolling things with sticky tape so that you can go through your bed and snag all the hair from the girl the night before. You think all that hair looks the same, but they all know which is there's and which isn't.

2. Sweep the floors of hair the girls leave behind as they shed it regularly

3. Make sure none of them leave any women's sanitary products in the bathroom rubbish bin. The others will find them.

4. Scour the bathroom for any shampoos, lotions, toothbrushes or other female grooming material. I put sticky note with the girls name on the products so I know whose is whose. I made the mistake of confusing what shampoo belonged to which girl and I found out two girls were having a running feud with each other writing derogatory things to each other in permanent marker on the bottles of lotion and shampoo.

5. Check your laundry hamper as the girls like to leave their underwear there for you to wash.

6. If you have one girl that comes over more regularly buy a rolling closet at Ikea for 800 baht. That way she can leave her clothes at your place and before other chicks come over, you can roll it away into another room.

7. Tell the girls no biting that leaves marks on your body.

8. Tell the girls no instagramming from your house. Those pics are often location stamped and other girls will find it. It's happened a few times to me. More headaches.

9. Wash and change your sheets preferably between girls. Stuff always turns up just when the romance is happening, instantly killing the excitement.

10. When a girl is over, turn the ringer and the message alert sounds on your phone to OFF.

[geoman1976]

You can overcome the low income rather easily. I have a gorgeous fiance' from an upper middle class family. They actually built a business for us and she loves me dearly. Be a nice guy, respect and take interest in the culture, and I personally avoid women from Isaan. No offense to amyone but the risk out weighs the reward and the cultural values and differences are too severe. Meet coworkers at your univeristy. They will probably make less money than you and will respect you for who you are and what you have. I am a teacher and my fiance' is a child development Master's Degree student. We met at an educational conference. If they ever bring money talk into the relationship, run as fast as you can.

[khunPer]

Read the books!

"Thailand Fever" by Chris Pirazzi and Vitida Vasant

"Private Dancer" by Stephen Leather

"Working With The Thais" by Henry Holmes and Suchada Tangtonglavy

I was about to recommend OP the read “Thailand Fever”, so I can only “+1” the above post. OP can find more at thailandfever.com – the book is a must for everyone who wishes a good relationship with a Thai.

Private Dancer is a novel – exiting reading about a younger man hooked on a Thai girl – but includes some very good kind-of-quote-sections with advices for general understanding of a farang-Thai relationship; also a book worth reading.

There are a number of well-written books about relationship with a Thai partner, but in generally speaking with focus on the farang-interested ladies, who expect to be provided for.

The “Checklist” link from Pkl is indeed helpful and sums up a lot of the book’s subjects.

There are many good advices in the previous posts. I’ve been living here for almost 10 years now – and despite my age I have young Thai friends – so without repeating too much, my recommendations are:

1. Respect the culture and be polite – i.e. be a young “gentleman”,
2. Learn some Thai, many (especially the “good”) girls may not speak and understand much English, don’t take it for granted that you can do any deeper conversation in English,
3. The main chatting site for (younger) Thais is called “Line”, but many also have a FB profile, language often Thai only,
4. Dating a “good” girl may be a long lasting process, however you can find girls, just like ”home”, who dates and have occasionally sex for fun with an attractive or handsome guy,
5. Don’t (ever try to) get involved with a girl already having a Thai boyfriend,
6. Don’t be surprised if the girl brings a female friend, a chaperone, for a date that is normal custom and indicate she’s a “good” girl,
7. “Money Number One”, knowing you did not wish that to be mentioned, but many – perhaps even most – serious girls are looking for a future-husband-kind-of-relationship, and a man is often (normally) considered as the provider for the family, just like it once was in old time “back home”. Be prepared and offer to pay the bill if you go out for dinner or cinema and the like, also for the chaperone if she brings one, and also be prepared for that the “good” girl may insist on paying her share, at least in the beginning. If you meet the more middle to upper class “ladies”, do be prepared that their family expect a boyfriend of similar social status.
8. Discos, dance events, concerts, evening markets and the like may be great places to meet “good” girls – they do go out for excitement and fun, often in a group or some friends together (a good girl don’t go out alone at night) – also sports, cafés and shopping malls (check areas near University); whilst a bar with “employed hostesses” (including karaoke) is not a potential place.

Wish you all the best for a great time in Thailand.

[kovaltech]

OP, be aware...

Its custom in Thailand, for Thai girls, that "if they go out" with you once, they consider themselves as your girlfriend.

( specially when you are alone )

in your case, go to the gym, do exercise in the Gym, drink something in the gym, but wait with dating until...

Only go to a party if you are invited by a couple, they will try to match you but still its more easy to make certain choises and or the female from the couple can assist you with certain issue's.

Be also aware: a farang is considered a good "catch" for any girl-family and its cultural given that economics comes before love. ( nothing wrong with that but just creating awareness)

[Old Stud]

If you're coming here you'll find plenty of nice and cute girls to date and you should not stick with just one.

Here are my top 10 tips for successful girl juggling:

1. Buy a dog hair remover... one of those rolling things with sticky tape so that you can go through your bed and snag all the hair from the girl the night before. You think all that hair looks the same, but they all know which is there's and which isn't.

2. Sweep the floors of hair the girls leave behind as they shed it regularly

3. Make sure none of them leave any women's sanitary products in the bathroom rubbish bin. The others will find them.

4. Scour the bathroom for any shampoos, lotions, toothbrushes or other female grooming material. I put sticky note with the girls name on the products so I know whose is whose. I made the mistake of confusing what shampoo belonged to which girl and I found out two girls were having a running feud with each other writing derogatory things to each other in permanent marker on the bottles of lotion and shampoo.

5. Check your laundry hamper as the girls like to leave their underwear there for you to wash.

6. If you have one girl that comes over more regularly buy a rolling closet at Ikea for 800 baht. That way she can leave her clothes at your place and before other chicks come over, you can roll it away into another room.

7. Tell the girls no biting that leaves marks on your body.

8. Tell the girls no instagramming from your house. Those pics are often location stamped and other girls will find it. It's happened a few times to me. More headaches.

9. Wash and change your sheets preferably between girls. Stuff always turns up just when the romance is happening, instantly killing the excitement.

10. When a girl is over, turn the ringer and the message alert sounds on your phone to OFF.

[Old Stud]

If you're coming here you'll find plenty of nice and cute girls to date and you should not stick with just one.

Here are my top 10 tips for successful girl juggling:

1. Buy a dog hair remover... one of those rolling things with sticky tape so that you can go through your bed and snag all the hair from the girl the night before. You think all that hair looks the same, but they all know which is there's and which isn't.

2. Sweep the floors of hair the girls leave behind as they shed it regularly

3. Make sure none of them leave any women's sanitary products in the bathroom rubbish bin. The others will find them.

4. Scour the bathroom for any shampoos, lotions, toothbrushes or other female grooming material. I put sticky note with the girls name on the products so I know whose is whose. I made the mistake of confusing what shampoo belonged to which girl and I found out two girls were having a running feud with each other writing derogatory things to each other in permanent marker on the bottles of lotion and shampoo.

5. Check your laundry hamper as the girls like to leave their underwear there for you to wash.

6. If you have one girl that comes over more regularly buy a rolling closet at Ikea for 800 baht. That way she can leave her clothes at your place and before other chicks come over, you can roll it away into another room.

7. Tell the girls no biting that leaves marks on your body.

8. Tell the girls no instagramming from your house. Those pics are often location stamped and other girls will find it. It's happened a few times to me. More headaches.

9. Wash and change your sheets preferably between girls. Stuff always turns up just when the romance is happening, instantly killing the excitement.

10. When a girl is over, turn the ringer and the message alert sounds on your phone to OFF.

That is just dumb troll ego crap. This isn't a discussion about ladyboys. Grow up and let the young guy ask a fair question and get a fair answer.

[geoman1976]

One more tip from me, buddy. Just because a girl looks sweet and innocent doesn't mean she is. Someo of the sweetest looking ar e the most dangerous. Get to know who you are dating before going to far and keep an ear out for money talk multiple sim cards, and trips with their "friends" where you are not invited. The good girls are very possessive and will always want you around...ALWAYS. I cannot go to the store without my girl wanting to tag along. Any group trips with her friends always include us (the boyfriends and husbands).

[SandyFeet]

The dating sites out there now kind of suck. expensive, bad interface, hard to use and no good messaging options like the stickers Line has that Thai girls all use so much. Anyone know of any that are actually any good?

Not hard meeting women out in the real world anyway. Good luck!

[Robert24]

Universities tend to be a good place to find good Thai girls. Chiang Mai has a lot of students with 3 big universities, CMU, Payap and Maejo. Many students hang out around in many bars around Nimmanhemin and Kad Sap Thong market and for food also at Malin Plaza.

[geoman1976]

OP, be aware...

Its custom in Thailand, for Thai girls, that "if they go out" with you once, they consider themselves as your girlfriend.

( specially when you are alone )

in your case, go to the gym, do exercise in the Gym, drink something in the gym, but wait with dating until...

Only go to a party if you are invited by a couple, they will try to match you but still its more easy to make certain choises and or the female from the couple can assist you with certain issue's.

Be also aware: a farang is considered a good "catch" for any girl-family and its cultural given that economics comes before love. ( nothing wrong with that but just creating awareness)

I disagree with the last statement. The truly good modern Thai families put the heart and love and how their daughter is treated before the money. If you want to avoid this "cultural standard", make sure you date middle class and up.

[atyclb]

Thai girls are like all girls in the world with an exception being they may have pre-conceived ideas of how a farang (foreigner) is like.

1.Some may assume all farang men are rich and thus you may automatically seem more attractive here.

Don't let it get to your head. Use your judgement on why they may be interested in you.

2. Some may assume you are a sex-pat and feel uncomfortable because thai women holding hands with a farang are often automatically assumed to be involved in the trade. Treat her respectfully and if she is confident you are SINCERE AND SERIOUS and do not have that attitude that all women can be bought then you can open yourself to a whole new crowd of girls.

3. Some may assume you don't have manners (thai manners) and thus will not consider you as being presentable to family (more applicable to educated upper class girls who need family approval).

Show her you understand thai customs and cultures and that not all farangs are neanderthals.

In the end, like many have advised, you have to be yourself, but we all could be a better version of ourselves if we understood the mind of Venus, but then again we're from Mars so good luck and watch out for the "Adonis syndrome."

My take on things based upon a few years of residing in bkk, speaking reading writing thai language.

# abundance of stunted emotional development

# abundance of stunted intellectual development

# abundance of critical / analytical thinking deficit

# abundance of erratic unreliable behavior

# logic deficit not attributable to asia since Japanese / taiwanese people are way different

The above may be a reflection of

# lack of integrity (society)

# largely incompetent society

# image over substance based society

# feudal education system

In my experience an exceedingly small % of society is G7 functional level. well less than 1%

Thailand is far from being a panacea for women / dating although many may perceive it as such.

Based on the above it seems the chances of hooking up with an outside the box, high function, logical, non erratic reliable female is very small.

Such females I have known usually have had experience with and/or exposure to progressive dynamic people and / or life experiences. Examples; parents are worldly traveled educated outside the box, they studied abroad, have significant exposure to progressive friends, not infrequently from affluent families.

IMO countries like japan and taiwan offer a much higher % of quality dating opportunities.

[HerbalEd]

Don't assume all bar girls are "bad" and all non-bar girls are "good." Some of the nicest girls/women I've ever met worked in bars ... and some of the worst money grubbing ones I've met were non-bar, supposedly good girls.

When it comes to the attention of beautiful, sexy, feminine women, Thailand is like nothing you've ever seen or imagined. And no matter what you may think you've learned here on tv.com, you will still be blow away at how easy it is to meet Thai girls and have them quickly want to be your girlfriend. Sounds great ... and it is ... but it can also be a real mind f__k and many a man has been duped and hurt by it all.