Having a beer with the security guard at my apartment

[Joe Mamma]

We spend our lives so concerned what other people think of us, that we perceive that acceptance as basis of our core importance. Start living life for you, yourself. Conduct your behavior to be positive energy and that will fuel all those impressions that people absorb.

[somchaismith]

A Thai sharing a comment.

You are a down to earth person (my compliment) but you have to keep a distance in order to earn a respect from anyone whom you make an acquaintance with in Thailand because the longer you have become friendly, the guard may get too comfortable and may lose your respect. Let that be the first and the last, and if you would like to have beer with the guard again, do it when he is off duty so that you would not look bad to other residents and the guard may eventually get in trouble for drinking on duty.

Toffee-nosed, it was springs to mind when I read this.

[AnotherOneAmerican]

Socializing with your servants is not the done thing in Thailand.

[Nemesis7]

Drinking with security guard isn't the issue , the issue is he shouldn't be drinking while in duty it's that simple, and as for your concern about what others might think if the class issue !! My friend it's all about what you think deep inside, who cares about what others may think ?

[h90]

super idea to drink with the security guard on duty.

I hope he gets fired.

[DrTuner]

According to the ultra-conservative lines of TVF, he must get sacked and you deported for such an evil crime. Plus you have to pay him compensation of at least 2M baht. And attend AA for next 15 years. Andandand...

[Brian Robson]

We occasionally buy snacks for our security guard and a Red Bull to keep him awake on the job. Gave him a bottle of beer at Christmas to drink in his own time.

Still, I think there is a bit of Mother Grundy attitide here!

[joshstiles]

obviously you have been drinking too much and now have lost too many brain cells to think clearly about what you are doing to others around you......hope that's fair share-yl

[transam]

OP, you do what you want to do, I do. I don't give shit what other people think. You have a good attitude to others, so, 10 out of 10 from me.

[arthurwait]

Socializing with your servants is not the done thing in Thailand.

Wife has sent you to Coventry again ?

[thamteak]

Socializing with your servants is not the done thing in Thailand.

Neither is buying them, or giving them something.

Not even kindness.

It's probably a cultural trait brought on by Thai Buddhism.

[thairay]

the drinkers think it is a good idea...puritans would damn you...the old ladies think it is dangerous...me,i would red bull him so he could work,and leave him to do the job he is there for ....i see Trans am said he does not give a shit what other people think, then tells you what he thinks....we know you care as you are here asking the question....when he asks for a beer today,,what you gonna do,snub him by saying no,,encourage him ?two beers tonight? old friends now..to quote trans am again...in the end "do what you like,i do"

[KarlosInBKK]

when he asks for a beer today,,what you gonna do,snub him by saying no,,encourage him ?two beers tonight? old friends now..to quote trans am again...in the end "do what you like,i do"

Hi thairay, I have thought about this. I'm going out tonight and won't be back until tomorrow so there's no problem tonight. I honestly think he was just being more relaxed than normal due to the curfew and knowing that he wouldn't have much to do after 10pm (he mostly just shows people where to park their cars on our cramped carpark and there wouldn't be anyone arriving home past 10pm). I won't ever ignore him as I'm a friendly guy but I won't be drinking beer with him again during his shift. I don't want to be responsible for him losing his job. I'll just make sure that my fridge is stocked before his shift starts as that will remove the opportunity for him to ask for a beer as I'm on the way to the store.

[Lancashirelad]

I agree with those who have said it wasn't a good idea to be seen encouraging the guard to drink whilst on duty.

Karlos sounds a polite & respectable chap, I guess he just went along with it on the spur of the moment without thinking through the possible consequences. Having now had those pointed out to him, judging buy his post above, he has now "got it."

I have bought booze for security guards before on odd occasions, but I always make it very clear its to be taken home and is not to be drunk whilst at work and they have always readily understood.

[slipperylobster]

I would have had him call up his sister for a stiff cold one (beer), as well.

[kinmaew]

Not a good idea. Those guys do not guard anything and are totally useless, stay away from them.

[R123]

Nobody mentioned yet that the security guard fancies the OP.....

[YipYipYa123]

I've sat down and had a beer with my security guard a few times

I know he's basically useless at guarding

Anyway so I don't mind if he's had a drink or not

They drink anyway so it won't make much difference if he's dedecided to drink at work he will get a drink from someone else anyway

My last building was much larger and more expensive and the security guards still drank on certain nights (probably paydays etc)

[thamteak]

I would have had him call up his sister for a stiff cold one (beer), as well.

She was busy popping balloons.

[DP25]

I've done it a few times too. These guys aren't really guarding anything

People were staring because you were sitting and socializing with a servant. There is a strong social hierarchy, most residents in an apartment building aren't gonna do that. Notice how the staff in a restaurant or store will wai customers and only tourists do it back, Thais walk by without a second glance.

Thais in the buildings I've stayed in will often buy a snack or drink for the guard, or even a gift basket at new years, but it is unusual for one to sit down and hang out for an hour or two. A foreigner doing it is even more odd

[andrewrooney]

This was not the wisest thing to do, but then again you have asked on here if we think it was ok. The answer from me is absolutely not. You compromised the entire safety of all the people living in that area under the responsibility of that security guard. What do you think the chances are that he had a good 4 hour kip between 1am and 5 am, all beer induced. Fire, theft, attack, whatever the incident. What you did was well meant but was the wrong time absolutely, you could have done it on his night off. This is nothing to do with being a 'decent human being' or a 'kind bloke'. I used to buy two bags full of beer and whiskey every single day at 5pm for the builders who were building my house - AFTER work had finished. If I lived in the apartments and was paying a monthly fee for security I would be pretty pissed off at your actions. Stupid is as stupid does.

For what it's worth, most of those guys only get one night off a month.

[Marcel1]

Cool topic, I think depending on the kind of apartment it counts as well. back in my old place which was just a room but we had guarded street and at the apartment as well I would hand them over some m150 bottles filled with lao kao so now and then since they liked the stuff. In my new condo the securities not drink and to be seen with alcohol would not make their bosses nor the residents happy but so now and then I'd buy them a beer, take a nice cup from 7/11 (the ones your pour the sodas in) and give them a beer in the soda cup, they are more then happy.

people can agree or disagree but I see the staff everyone whether security guards at condos, shopping malls, 7/11 employees, market people, etc etc etc drinking beer under working time and not so long ago it was also accepted in western europe, eastern europe they still do as well.

Personally I would not but I wouldnt bother anyone who does

[nickmanchester2]

i'm sure its been said many times, but these guy just go to sleep every night anyway - I have driven past them without waking them several times.

now i wish i would have had a beer with my ex security guard when i was waiting for taxis.

[Lucifer]

i'm sure its been said many times, but these guy just go to sleep every night anyway - I have driven past them without waking them several times.

now i wish i would have had a beer with my ex security guard when i was waiting for taxis.

Why, was he that pretty?

[nickmanchester2]

i'm sure its been said many times, but these guy just go to sleep every night anyway - I have driven past them without waking them several times.

now i wish i would have had a beer with my ex security guard when i was waiting for taxis.

Why, was he that pretty?

he gave me a feeling of security

[YipYipYa123]

They are a figure of authority amongst those parking cars, that's about it imo

I don't expect them to fight burglars or whatever, they just paid for sitting on that chair, awake or asleep

I'm sure if someone started my car or bike with a screwdriver or whatever they could drive right past, which negates security anyway

[BrooklynNY]

I am a down to earth type of a person but sometimes being friendly with certain type of Thai people backed fired me which I had a few incidents with "a moo baan security guard (ror. por. por)" in BKK where I stayed at a friend's house. During my free time I rescued stray cats to take them to be spayed/neutered. One day I saw an all white female cat hanging around at the check point of that moo baan, so I fed the cat every time I walked passed it. I became friendly to the guard because the cat was there. I offered to the guard that I would take the cat to be spayed and will treat her skin rash problem (could be mange) with my expense of course.

At first the guard let me take the cat to the vet but later on the guard changed his mind refused to let me take the cat to the vet on an indirect hint that I am better than him. Why the hell did he have to compare his status between me and him? I am not Gra-dae and not dud-ja-rit type of women. I went out of my way to help that poor cat which was pregnant and had severe skin rash.

The guard used this authority figure that he had the control over that cat's life. He said that the cat belonged to him which actually the cat was a stray cat that was abandoned by a previous resident who moved out. He said he could do what he wanted to the cat. This seemed like the guard wanted to get even with me for no reason. After that day I no longer greeted the guard.

I am still a friendly person but I have to keep my distance with certain types of different status people in Thailand especially ones who are financially struggle. I once was friendly to a lady bus ticket collector during my trip to take an injured pigeon to a vet. She asked for my cell# so I gave her and ever since she had called me asking if I could help her to go abroad and became too personal that I had to politely told her that I was busy, I had to hang up the phone.

Edited May 24, 2014 by BrooklynNY

[pjmansions]

I have friends from all classes of Thai society from high ranking local government officials to poor rice farmers and enjoy a cold beer with them all, I do not see class and do not wish to be friends with anyone who would look down on people because of their life circumstances.

I especially like my countryside friends they always go out of their way to make me and any of my visitors feel welcome. If we are having a drink i am not expected to purchase all the drinks, infact I am often discouraged from buying drinks. These are the real Thai people, honest and hardworking who want you to enjoy their Country, these genuine people are often forgotten in favour of the scammers thieves that the tourist more often encounters

Little off topic but what I'm trying to say is don't let class/money be a defining moment when you choose your Thai friends or you will miss out on one of the biggest joys of living in Thailand its people.

In your situation try not to be seen keeping this guy from his work as others might not be as open minded as you and it will be him that has to face the music from his employers if you enjoy his company and can learn a few things about Thailand and its people why not i say, just socialize outside of his working hours (And no not in a GAY way before i get all the smart arsed comments)

[natway09]

I don't know why you bothered posting on this subject to let all the idiots talk rubbish,

You wanna have a beer with him, have a beer with him

[rmlexe]

Years ago when me and a number of friends lived in the same building, we regularly used to sit and Finnish a bottle of whiskey with the security before or after having a night out. The only downside was every nite we would see the disappointed look on there faces as you are not getting on it with them

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