Becoming less social as I get older

[puukao]

I'm curious if it's just me, or others as well. When I was younger, I would talk to about anyone. Then, in 30's, talk to most people. Make jokes, ask questions, feign interest, etc... Then, in 40's, I've entered a stage of not being as social. Don't worry, I'm off this internet thing in a few minutes, as I know that is part of the problem.

Sure, I need face-to-face conversation every single day. However, and maybe it's the heat or language, but it's different as i get older.

While in Chiang Mai, am i really going to want to talk to tourist foreigners at random? so, yes, the environment. While in Thai class, I am exhausted hearing so many crazy stories and people try to get so close so quick.

i'm sure i just need a good recharge.

curious of other experiences.

[benj005]

It could be age, but then again I just think it's different for everybody. Some people are just naturally expressive and they like to have people around them. Other people are reclusive and like their alone time.

When I took care of my uncle a few years ago he loved to talk to people. He was 78 years old and had Parkinson's disease. We would go out and he would tell the pretty girls that they looked good. When I took him out to a restaurant he would go to a table full of people and just strike up a conversation. There could be 10 people sitting at the table and he would walk over and start talking to them. If it was a table with young couples he would tell the guys that they were lucky to have such beautiful girlfriends.

Now, his brother was the opposite. He didn't talk with many people and kept to himself. Funny how that happens.

Edited June 11, 2014 by benj005

[MAJIC]

Yes I know what you mean,much of it is: talking pidgeon English too much and straining to converse in English with those that are second language English at best! unfortunately both of which affect ones fluancy long term.

Before someone reminds me,yes I know I should learn Thai!

Edited June 11, 2014 by MAJIC

[WitawatWatawit]

Socialising is like sex. Once you've tried every position and permutation and there's nowhere else to go, you retreat into your thoughts. Stimulation becomes just that much harder, and you no longer want to associate with lesser neophytes who constantly talk about the things you've done a thousand times. It's a quick descent from there into reclusiveness or lawn bowls.

[telldem]

.

[cooked]

As long as you don't start asking yourself questions and then answering them, no problem

[weegee]

Socialising is like sex. Once you've tried every position and permutation and there's nowhere else to go, you retreat into your thoughts. Stimulation becomes just that much harder, and you no longer want to associate with lesser neophytes who constantly talk about the things you've done a thousand times. It's a quick descent from there into reclusiveness or lawn bowls.

or mowing the lawn....whether it needs it or not, rather than do something you have absolutely no interest in...

[finnomick]

I wonder what you'll be like in your 50's and 60's ? One of the things I do miss whilst living in Thailand is a good conversation.....but then I didn't come all this way to meet ' farangs '.....

[jaapfries]

You're not getting 'more a-social'; you're getting to be 'more intelligent' !

As (most of us) grow older, we experience more - and we become more "pensive"; this means that we tend to start 'thinking' a bit more and that often leads to becoming a bit more selective.

Nothing wrong with that.

Enjoy life and - if in doubt, pick-up a good book . . . . . .

[7000gods]

If solitude is not your thing...

Give this a go....

http://www.meetup.com/cities/th/chiang_mai/

Language... has created the word 'loneliness' to express the pain of being alone. And it has created the word 'solitude' to express the glory of being alone.

[maswov]

people change, its a normal thing....

[HeijoshinCool]

Socialising is like sex. Once you've tried every position and permutation and there's nowhere else to go, you retreat into your thoughts. Stimulation becomes just that much harder ...

or mowing the lawn....whether it needs it or not, rather than do something you have absolutely no interest in...

I found that mowing the lawn revitalized my interest in sex.

[Seastallion]

There's a reason there are crotchety old women and grumpy old men. I don't know what the reason is, but the fact that so many exist means there is a reason. I suspect there is a correlation with high testosterone levels earlier in life. (How many grumpy old men are also bald, and how many crotchety old women have moustaches?)

At age 40, it seems to me that you are progressing to grumpy old man state prematurely. You may be facing early male menopause.

How's the libido? Is it well fed?

I see nothing wrong with socialising on the net. It is indeed interaction.

[Card]

I'm in my '60s and socialise very little if at all, except with my partner. I avoid people like the plague. I do sometimes try to help farang tourists though - and now avoid even them after being looked up and down in case I am a scammer or worse. If they ask for help I am more than happy to help, but don't approach them very often anymore. I just find people rather boring with standard topics and responses. Prefer to read, internet, walk, listen to music. I am, however, a loner type so it's easy and pleasant to be on my own as I've always been like that. I just find socialising an irritating drag. Maybe it's easier to be alone in Thailand - it's all a kind of white noise to me.

BTW, in response to the last post, I have a full head of hair and the old libido fine for my age and definitely din't overdue it earlier in life. I am happily grumpy, though.

The previous poster sounds like he can't stand his own company - never a problem with me.

Edited June 12, 2014 by Card

[weegee]

Socialising is like sex. Once you've tried every position and permutation and there's nowhere else to go, you retreat into your thoughts. Stimulation becomes just that much harder ...

or mowing the lawn....whether it needs it or not, rather than do something you have absolutely no interest in...

I found that mowing the lawn revitalized my interest in sex.

Stop smelling the petrol...

These days, as you get older, sex comes in second place....I prefer a cup of tea, it's warmer and lasts longer.

[Card]

Socialising is like sex. Once you've tried every position and permutation and there's nowhere else to go, you retreat into your thoughts. Stimulation becomes just that much harder ...

or mowing the lawn....whether it needs it or not, rather than do something you have absolutely no interest in...

I found that mowing the lawn revitalized my interest in sex.

Stop smelling the petrol...

These days, as you get older, sex comes in second place....I prefer a cup of tea, it's warmer and lasts longer.

And you don't need to dress up (or down) for it.

[chuenyongman]

I always understood that baldness was hereditary.

[bkkjames]

There's a reason there are crotchety old women and grumpy old men. I don't know what the reason is, but the fact that so many exist means there is a reason. I suspect there is a correlation with high testosterone levels earlier in life. (How many grumpy old men are also bald, and how many crotchety old women have moustaches?)

At age 40, it seems to me that you are progressing to grumpy old man state prematurely. You may be facing early male menopause.

How's the libido? Is it well fed?

I see nothing wrong with socialising on the net. It is indeed interaction.

I socialize less cause I have less time I suppose with two young sons.

Regarding the libido, I recommend heavy work outs (low reps, heavy weight) a few times a week. WARNING : If you are not careful you may end up with two young sons if you come back from the gym and see the mrs leaning over the laundry basket.

[h90]

I am avoiding to talk with people.....

[freebyrd]

Perhaps technology has something to do with it? I was a gregarious youth, really enjoyed meeting, chatting with people. Very rarely do I speak to a stranger now, nearing 60 I've become a misanthrope. Email someone, very often no reply at all, call a mobile, very often no one picks up. When you do have coffee, lunch, dinner with someone, very often they are preocupied with their phone. if someone calls in the middle of your conversation, the phone wins out and you can sit like a dummy for 10 - 15 minutes while they discuss......BS that could wait for later?

Even when I meet with my 20somethings at work, I have to tell them, every time, to leave their phones alone, look at me and listen. There are more of their age group that 'ours', so I've taken the pragmatic approach and, away from the workplace, only interact with those that can offer a real exchange which seems to be coming more and more rare.

It's a changing world and one man's meat.....

[freebyrd]

As long as you don't start asking yourself questions and then answering them, no problem

Things I overheard while talking to myself - Alan Alda

[Asiantravel]

The way I look at it is as you get older you realise the time remaining is obviously more valuable because there is less remaining. So you will want to spend that precious time with someone you can actually share an intelligent and meaningful dialogue with rather than with someone who only wants to use you as a sounding board to listen to their conquests and achievements.

[h90]

The way I look at it is as you get older you realise the time remaining is obviously more valuable because there is less remaining. So you will want to spend that precious time with someone you can actually share an intelligent and meaningful dialogue with rather than with someone who only wants to use you as a sounding board to listen to their conquests and achievements.

+ you heard all that stupid stories already 10 times...nothing new to hear.

[joshstiles]

Yeah, but WHY? Why did you grow more anti-social as you have aged? Have you sat down and thought about it? Have you come to any conclusions? I have....I know exactly why I am more anti-social.....

I am a bit curious to compare notes.....could you elaborate? PM me if you don't want to advertise.....

[bkkjames]

Yeah, but WHY? Why did you grow more anti-social as you have aged? Have you sat down and thought about it? Have you come to any conclusions? I have....I know exactly why I am more anti-social.....

I am a bit curious to compare notes.....could you elaborate? PM me if you don't want to advertise.....

It is called conditioning. End of story. Next patient please....

Sent from my LG-P970 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

[Maejo Man]

Socialising is like sex. Once you've tried every position and permutation and there's nowhere else to go, you retreat into your thoughts. Stimulation becomes just that much harder ...

or mowing the lawn....whether it needs it or not, rather than do something you have absolutely no interest in...

I found that mowing the lawn revitalized my interest in sex.

I mowed my lawn 3 times last month and it only worked once

[JO1973]

I've heard that's pretty normal. Most people as they get older (especially men) tend to socialize with fewer people and keep just a small circle of friends.

Part of it is also the fact that we live in a foreign country and so a lot of the people we run into are short-time tourists who we will never see again and have nothing in common with, or people that are here because they want to get away from everything/one (not that you are).

I think it's pretty rare to find people who are older with loads of friends -- except maybe politicians who are the naturally sociable type. But I have also read that being more sociable is the best way to keep your brain fit -- especially memory -- as you age.

[Guest]

If we are lucky, as we age, we have more wisdom compared to the people who are around us.

At the time we hit the middle age crisis, we are actually in transformation from the person who used to ask all the questions to gain knowledge to a person who at this point should start sharing the knowledge to the younger ones.

I still like to talk to the older people as I'm not planning to grow wise any time soon. The problem is that it's often hard to find people who can and will share their knowledge, at least on subjects which interest me.

[weegee]

Yeah, but WHY? Why did you grow more anti-social as you have aged? Have you sat down and thought about it? Have you come to any conclusions? I have....I know exactly why I am more anti-social.....

I am a bit curious to compare notes.....could you elaborate? PM me if you don't want to advertise.....

Even the American Bear who has commanded his territory all his life, will one day wander off to be in solitude and die, far from his normal surroundings.....so i believe.

Your not getting anti social....whether you accept it or not, your thoughts and chemical makeup are changing....thats life.

[joshstiles]

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The way I look at it is as you get older you realise the time remaining is obviously more valuable because there is less remaining. So you will want to spend that precious time with someone you can actually share an intelligent and meaningful dialogue with rather than with someone who only wants to use you as a sounding board to listen to their conquests and achievements.

"the time remaining".....now that's funny....I had to laugh when I read this.....life on earth is only that of a seedling....you evolve from a hard shell and sprout a couple of leaves....then when you leave earth....the real life begins....there is a lot more development ahead and less restrictions as found in this world of bureaucratic power hungry people who believe they are in control of something. They never left the shell.