Teacher Hitting Kids!

[332]

I know they happen as I have posted in detail about one instance . Two wrongs don't make a right and all that kind of thing as well as a good lesson for my children as what is accepetable behaviour, one that many need, and what's not plus how to deal with an issue if necessary. We have a no hitting policy between the kids, even my 2 yr old, unless it's rough house fun and we often play really hard incl. no pad full tackle Amercian football in the yard. Believe me when I say when Thai's see us they cant believe it! The boys don't cry unless they are hurt so they are building character too. I don't buy toy guns nor donwload violent video games for them. In turn I will be calm, at least in front of them, tomorrow.

As I'm sure I'll need the teachers info to file any kind of complaint so I'll get it tomorrrow from both him and the administration with the intenention of filing a police report, if I do so or not is another matter as I feel a stern warning might be appropraite at this time (thanks AnotherOneAmerican).

Sorry if I'm going on alot about this but I'm just a concern parent and trying to be culturally sensitve while at the same time not taking any bullhsit!

Why are you afraid to go the police only that will work unless you get the teacher.

Going to police is easier

for one, the police would not give him the time of day as he has already stated he is not the father and not married to the mother of the child. under Thai law, even a biological father not legally married to the mother of his child has no legal rights unless there is a legal document from the amphur or the court granting him those rights.

also i too would urge him to take a deep breath... making a Thai teacher lose face could backfire in many ways....

If he goes the police with boy they do something Just try it or take care of the teacher yourself

Contact Pim at Citylife first, they might be interested in an article about Child Abuse in Thai schools.

Going to the police with the child and the media is going to see some action.

[northernjohn]

I don't believe in kids being bullied by teachers. We had our fair share of it when we were kids in Oz, 50 - 60 years ago.

I'm sure one ear is stretched, the bruises where the blackboard duster got me on the head, the welts on the back of my legs, and once we'd survived this and into high school, they used a bamboo cane on rear end and hands.

The exception was our old Tech. Drawing teacher. When in trouble, we were invited to the front of the class room, and to bring our tee-squares with us.

I don't blame the teachers! If the parents asked about a new bruise, they said 'probably your fault anyway'. YEAH.

Somehow, we survived and I know this is a different era and different traditions in Thailand.

Agree it is a new time and different traditions. I had a teacher in school who would take us out sided the room tell us to hold out are hands and use a ruler on it. My dad and another parent got together and got some boards the teacher could used on my brother and his friend. I found my self in a boiler room with my pants down and a teacher using a doubled up leather belt on me.

You know some thing my brother and I grew up OK. Not exactly sure I like what I see the schools turning out now. It is my belief that the teachers are never taught how to teach and will never teach if they have no respect from the kids. The kids if they know there is no consequences will take advantage of it. That is part of growing up always testing. With out the testing they will never know their limits and will just run wild. There has to be a limit to what they can and can not get away with. Also it must be a standard one.

To have two kids do the same thing and the teacher simply tell there parent is not the answer. One parent will tell them to go stand in the corner for 5 minutes and the other beat the crap out of his kid. Which one is going to learn it was unacceptable? I am not suggesting unlimited corporal punishment but there should be some sort of punishment. Also writing on the chalk board 100 times I am a bad boy doesn't work. If the punishment is going to be left up to each parent expect different degrees of disobedience or lack of respect in the class room.

Just my thoughts based on my own up bringing and many around me at the time. We seem to be OK. In the final analysis the finished product is what will count. There has to be a balance.

Edited June 14, 2014 by northernjohn

[northernjohn]

Thanks PlanetX it wont be the best father's day (US tomorrow) but sure will be very fatherly.

CC if in fact you are trolling as been suggested then you should be not be on here as this is not a subject about pizza or the best bargin.

If you're being real, and I'll give you the benefit of the doubt, it's quite apparent that your not reafing the post completely or properly. In my OP I said "my gut reaction is to tell the teacher ..." which implies I'm upset, knowingly, and that that's not what I indend to do but I've consirderd it and my phyiscal description was just added to show that it would be effective to scare him, never did I mention fighting him, as opposed to haveing my 36 kg GF do it. Also that we have deciede to change schools next semester due to overcrowded class rooms so not ther remained of the year nor just the possiblity nor because that his hand was smacked. Also said I'll find out about the other families as it happened yesterday after school and the meeting is only tomorrow morning. Also you said I wasnt acting my age and then you said you thought I was mature. You insulted me and my family and have not offered much useful advice. If it walks like a troll ....

I respecfuly request that you keep your advice to yourself on this thread (I didnt say you could'nt so dont cry that I taking away your rights) as this is a time I'm looking for the TV communites help which I'm reciveing from others as well as their comfort.

The poster who accused me of trolling had his post removed by Moderators for obvious reason.

I do not troll.

I call things as I see them and my posts have always been motivated by concern when children are at risk.

That means the risk of a teacher as well as the large risk of a father threatening physical harm to a teacher without once mentioning getting the teachers side of events--an altercation that would no doubt cause harm to the child because of the fathers actions. Possible outcomes--child forced to be re-schooled and removed from his friends. Risk of father getting a negative reputation that will follow his child throughout his schooling.

You asked for advice on a public forum. I provided advice you did not like and now you question if I am a troll. I am done with this thread. I wish the child well. For you, I hope wisdom over emotion.

Have to agree with you here. The long range consequences on the child as a result of Daddy will take care of you attitude from his fellow students can be negative. I know the decision was already made to remove the child from the school before this incident but his class mates won't. Does the boy himself even know it yet? Hard to say what the other kids will say and will the incident follow him to another school?

[quidnunc]

What's really shocking to me is how in the last 20 years or so in the USA this not-hitting-kids ethic has taken hold with predictable results: the murder rate has declined by almost half. And this in an era when guns are easier to get than ever. Americans should start beating some initiative back into their kids before the America we knew and loved is gone forever.

[MAJIC]

What's really shocking to me is how in the last 20 years or so in the USA this not-hitting-kids ethic has taken hold with predictable results: the murder rate has declined by almost half. And this in an era when guns are easier to get than ever. Americans should start beating some initiative back into their kids before the America we knew and loved is gone forever.

And has there been any studies on your claims? i.e "predictable results" "Americans should start beating some initiative back into their kids before the America we knew and loved is gone forever" Without studies to support your claim,it's pure conjecture.

[quidnunc]

What's really shocking to me is how in the last 20 years or so in the USA this not-hitting-kids ethic has taken hold with predictable results: the murder rate has declined by almost half. And this in an era when guns are easier to get than ever. Americans should start beating some initiative back into their kids before the America we knew and loved is gone forever.

And has there been any studies on your claims? i.e "predictable results" "Americans should start beating some initiative back into their kids before the America we knew and loved is gone forever" Without studies to support your claim,it's pure conjecture.

As are all the claims of the old geezers here who attribute the breakdown of society to the lack of "discipline" inflicted on children. But I didn't see you challenging those assertions. Why not?

[FolkGuitar]

Maybe it's just me, but I don't feel that it's right for a bigger person to arbitrarily hit a smaller person who can't defend themself against it, whether because of size or authority. And adult hitting a child is child abuse. The results of that hitting is NOT justification. The ends do not justify the means. In fact, as sociologists have said for years, an abused child often turns into a child abuser. As we see from many replys in this thread, quite a few of those espousing corporal punishment were corporally punished themselves; abused becomes abuser.

Sometimes, all it takes is for a mosquito to land on your testicles to realize that violence is NOT the only way to solve a problem.

[junglechef]

Northern John you sound like another one who is afraid to do the right thing. I've asked before without a reply to another poster would you let someone hit your kid? And my child does what he's told without having to ask him if it's ok. I bet his classmates are envious that his Dad is there for him!

[junglechef]

Oh this might be evident by knowing which house the kids go to to do thier homework, have English lessons and play sports on the weekends ( that would be our house)

[Waffle]

I guess times have changed since I went to school, growing up in the Christian Brothers School, punishment was meted out for looking at a brother the wrong way or if one happened to be in bad mood, forget rulers, we're talking meter sticks here!

I'll never forget the time our teacher threw his maths book like a frisbee at one of the lads and caught him flush on the nose, does seem a bit much when you're 11, 12 years old but you think it's normal at the time. One parent actually came to the school one day after his kid went home with a fat lip, he started arguing with our brother, next thing it's an all out fist fight!

I don't know if it builds character or not, I do know we didn't often step out of line

Different times I guess.

I do know if I had told my Dad about it, he would have just said..."it's your own fault"

[Baerboxer]

Some good, interesting and differing opinions on this post.

To the OP, my thoughts and experience. My daughter, when in K3 had her ear pinched by one of her homeroom teachers, a Thai, which caused a small blood blister. The crime - asking her a question whilst she was busy putting up Christmas decorations!

I went spare - touch my kids results in one reaction. My wife, a professional well qualified and experienced teacher herself calmed me down. This is Thailand and things need to be done differently. We spoke to other non Thai teachers, who were appalled, other parents, who were appalled, got some extra background and then met with the head of teaching and the school principal who is a member of the owning family. My wife and the others discussed it in a very long winded way. So interjected and said very directly that if in the UK I would be talking to the police and the local education authority. The principal agreed that would be the UK approach but then suggested I let them attempt the Thai approach. After more dialogue we finished and they promised to call us the next day with their proposed solution. They did, The teacher was demoted and moved to a much junior role, where she would be supervised and was warned any repetition would mean dismissal. My wife thought this sufficient.

You need to way up the seriousness of the situation and also what outcome you really want to see,

In the UK my step-son from my first marriage, when about 11 was hit on the head by the sport teacher. A young guy and big rugby player. He said it hurt and he had headache for some time. I could have gone to the police and the school and he would have been charged with assault and fired for sure. My wife preferred to call the teacher and give him a piece of her mind (not a pleasant experience I can assure you!!!) and warn him what would happen if any repetition. The local village policeman was a friend and I mentioned it to him. He had a quiet word too,

When I was about 6, long time ago when attitudes were different, a student teacher at the infants school threatened to hit me over something. I told my very large mum (a big fit sporty woman at that time) when she claim for collect me. My mum's reaction - she shouted at the teacher, publicly in the full playground, and was very explicit about what she would do should the teacher be dumb enough to lay a finger on me. That was a different era, in a very different culture.

In your circumstances, the head doesn't seem very proactive. I would make it very clear to her, that you are considering further official action unless she takes some action; and ask her to confirm action is taken in a reasonable time frame. I would also, have a quiet and unobserved word with the teacher. Keep it friendly, but nevertheless make sure he gets the message of what will happen should he assault your son again - both official and physical.

By the way, I think it's great you take time to play games and enjoy physical activities with you children. They'll learn so much from this as well as the bonding aspects. Not everybody does these days.

Hope my narratives and suggestions are helpful. Good luck.

[Baerboxer]

Thanks PlanetX it wont be the best father's day (US tomorrow) but sure will be very fatherly.

CC if in fact you are trolling as been suggested then you should be not be on here as this is not a subject about pizza or the best bargin.

If you're being real, and I'll give you the benefit of the doubt, it's quite apparent that your not reafing the post completely or properly. In my OP I said "my gut reaction is to tell the teacher ..." which implies I'm upset, knowingly, and that that's not what I indend to do but I've consirderd it and my phyiscal description was just added to show that it would be effective to scare him, never did I mention fighting him, as opposed to haveing my 36 kg GF do it. Also that we have deciede to change schools next semester due to overcrowded class rooms so not ther remained of the year nor just the possiblity nor because that his hand was smacked. Also said I'll find out about the other families as it happened yesterday after school and the meeting is only tomorrow morning. Also you said I wasnt acting my age and then you said you thought I was mature. You insulted me and my family and have not offered much useful advice. If it walks like a troll ....

I respecfuly request that you keep your advice to yourself on this thread (I didnt say you could'nt so dont cry that I taking away your rights) as this is a time I'm looking for the TV communites help which I'm reciveing from others as well as their comfort.

The poster who accused me of trolling had his post removed by Moderators for obvious reason.

I do not troll.

I call things as I see them and my posts have always been motivated by concern when children are at risk.

That means the risk of a teacher as well as the large risk of a father threatening physical harm to a teacher without once mentioning getting the teachers side of events--an altercation that would no doubt cause harm to the child because of the fathers actions. Possible outcomes--child forced to be re-schooled and removed from his friends. Risk of father getting a negative reputation that will follow his child throughout his schooling.

You asked for advice on a public forum. I provided advice you did not like and now you question if I am a troll. I am done with this thread. I wish the child well. For you, I hope wisdom over emotion.

The teacher may well have been infuriated by what he perceived as being disrespect shown before the national song etc. And, being new / young may feel a need to be seen by his peers to be in control.

Whatever the reason - there is not excuse for assaulting a pupil and acting illegally.

Every action has a consequence, which is why I made certain suggestions to the OP. One thing you cannot do, is simply ignore an illegal assault on a child as you will be condoning that action. The seriousness of the assault, the teachers views may mitigate the actions taken but the teacher needs to left in no doubt that this is not acceptable.

[northernjohn]

Northern John you sound like another one who is afraid to do the right thing. I've asked before without a reply to another poster would you let someone hit your kid? And my child does what he's told without having to ask him if it's ok. I bet his classmates are envious that his Dad is there for him!

No I am not afraid to do the rite thing. I unlike you am not sure what the rite thing is. I was abused as a physically abused as a child and never hit my kids. that is not to say I know what went on in their schools. I do know that at home when my oldest had a problem he handled it rather than talking to me. That included getting out of jail. But at home they were not physically abused. Emotionally yes. For which I am truly sorry. I am glad to see that you are not raising yours that way.

When I found my self in the real world I noticed it was not all flowers and roses. Looking back over the first 40 years of my life I am glad I had learned to be responsible for my actions. It made me a better person to cope with life.

There was talk of detention. I had to laugh at that one. I spent a lot of time in detention for being late to school my father drove me and would always get me there late. That was reason enough for detention.

I really believe that in the eyes of your child's peers he will be in a matter of speaking looked down on. Daddy's Boy. As you have admitted it was not a big deal to him and more than likely not his peers either. for you to come in and make it a big deal ......well I think they might see it different than you do.

We are after all in Thailand and irregardless of the lack of teaching ability there still should be respect to the teacher or the whole class will degenerate. I know that for a fact I was one of the ones instrumental in destroying the 7th grade with disrespectful ways. The teacher did nothing to earn it we were just kids pushing the envelope and she was unable to draw the line.

Makes no difference what I believe and what my experiences are you have your experiences and your beliefs and you are the one who will either have to live with your action or enjoy it. Could be you are right. I just know in my experience it would have been a disaster. I am not for child abuse but I do think there is a difference between abuse and discipline. I don't consider my school experiences abuse but I do consider the home physical abuse to have been abusive. So I never hit my children. Nor did I cover up for them. After getting one back in school three times I told him he was on his own. He realized that and got him self into a school where he actually participated and graduated. He has been over here to visit me 4 times. The older one fixed up a place for me to stay when I am over there. He is the one who had to be bailed out of jail did it with out even letting me know about it. His problem was I unlike you was unable to give the emotional support that you are doing so well at.

[CharlesHH]

Light strikes or even paddling is not unusual in Thai public schools. The practice is reflected in Thai homes. Corporal punishment is standard here. I do not know how it affects the psyche here, but it works.

No Thai children shoot up Thai schools with guns.

[Oscar2]

No I am not afraid to do the rite thing. I unlike you am not sure what the rite thing is. I was abused as a physically abused as a child...

yikes, not only is TV your facebook but now this....tell your shrink...

[junglechef]

northern john, what an absolute shame to hear about your unfortunate childhood and am so sorry if I hit a nerve as it seems this thread has to many including myself. I actually wasn’t sure at all what to do as I have previously mentioned and one of the reasons I wrote the OP. As for using this resource as a way to work out a problem that is unique to our lives here I think that it's a good use of TV. I want to thank all those who allowed me to indulge myself by using this thread as a process to sort out my feelings and have my thoughts influenced by you at the same time. As it is apparent that I sounded like I was attacking those in disagreement with my opinion this was not my intentions at all since I didn’t really know how I felt about it all. I do partake in discussions by disagreeing when I don’t feel the same way hoping to generate further discussion and in turn hopefully learning something. This has been a grounding experience that made me not only question my priorities but also act upon them. I once again thank and apologies to those whom it is appropriate.

Edited June 15, 2014 by junglechef

[hml367]

junglechef,

yesterday you posted that there was a "parent/teacher day tomorrow" (which would be today), and there was an implication that you were going to be there. Perhaps if you post what happened there it may help some people. It will probably, as you have found out, draw some criticism no matter which way it went also. The actual results could still help some people.

[MAJIC]

What's really shocking to me is how in the last 20 years or so in the USA this not-hitting-kids ethic has taken hold with predictable results: the murder rate has declined by almost half. And this in an era when guns are easier to get than ever. Americans should start beating some initiative back into their kids before the America we knew and loved is gone forever.

And has there been any studies on your claims? i.e "predictable results" "Americans should start beating some initiative back into their kids before the America we knew and loved is gone forever" Without studies to support your claim,it's pure conjecture.

As are all the claims of the old geezers here who attribute the breakdown of society to the lack of "discipline" inflicted on children. But I didn't see you challenging those assertions. Why not?

Wasnt it you ? that said this:

"As are all the claims of the old geezers here who attribute the breakdown of society to the lack of "discipline" inflicted on children. But I didn't see you challenging those assertions. Why not?"

And didnt I ? say this:

" Without studies to support your claim,it's pure conjecture"

Isn't that challenging?

Don't bother to answer you are mixed up enough already!

[junglechef]

My partner, whom is my son’s mother, and myself went to the teacher/parent meeting this morning. After quietly sitting through what appeared to be an organized hour long presentation by the teacher followed by a question and answer session, which I didn’t understand as it was all in Thai, we waited for the room to clear except for another school employee. While this was happening my girlfriend inquired with some of the other Mothers and none of them admitted to knowing anything about it. One woman called her son in and he said that although he was inside at the time cleaning the classroom, which my son had told us that some of the boys had been spared for this reason, he had heard about it. All she said was that she agreed that this was not acceptable behavior from the teacher. I’m not going to give much weight to any of this as they might just come out the opposite if she was talking to someone of a different opinion. Of course no one volunteered to speak to the teacher with us which didn’t surprise me.

We politely approached the teacher at his desk, who looked at least in his early 30’s to me as opposed to my girlfriend’s 20’s estimation, and she told him that our son said he hit most of the boys on Friday and asked him to please explain (paraphrasing of course as I don’t know her exact words). He spoke only looking at my Girlfriend and in a calm, though I sensed a bit of agitation that he was being questioned, and said after telling them to stop playing twice he lined them up and hit them (my boy said he didn’t ask but very well the kids didn’t hear him, he didn’t ask first, he did or either or both parties are making it sound better for themselves and as I’ve said before I don’t care as it’s not the point of contention).

I then asked my girlfriend to ask whom gave him permission to hit my child and he said no one, very matter-of-factly without obvious hubris nor humility. By now I made sure he was also addressing me with his answers.

At this point I addressed him directly and said with conviction saying “Mai Mai” while keeping my voice low and my body language subtle. When then asked if knew that it was against the law he said “yes”.

He then explained that he did not want the children to get hurt. Repeating his rational, as misaligned as it seems to me he did appear to be more genuine then just making up an excuse, he continued asking who would be responsible if one of the kids got hurt while rough housing. He continued by saying that he didn’t want to be responsible so it appeared that he was as much concerned with protecting himself. He then said kind of annoyingly that if our son gets hurt it's not his fault. After a few more “mai mai” from me I had my girlfriend tell him that we would be and if there is ever another problem to call us.

I asked if our son was misbehaving in school, as we know from his grades that he’s in the top of his class, he said no it was just boys being boys. I explained that he is there to teach our son and that teaching that one should not hit by hitting is not a very good method. I also repeated that there is to be no hitting anymore and asked if he understood which he responded with a resounding yes.

At this point the other school employee, an middle age women who was above him in the school hierarchy, told us that there was a meeting yesterday that addressed there was to be no hitting at all in the school.

We were both satisfied to leave it at that for now and not get the Principle involved as hopefully this will be the end of it and by not making too much trouble for him it will in turn not result in him making any trouble for my son.

Though I’m sure he understood but to make a final point I stared at him and quietly said in my poor Thai that my son was small, he was big and I was bigger, also something I’m positive he understood.

Edited June 15, 2014 by junglechef

[Puwa]

You handled it well.

[Chicog]

Contact Pim at Citylife first, they might be interested in an article about Child Abuse in Thai schools.

Going to the police with the child and the media is going to see some action.

Pim won't do anything that might be in the least bit defamatory unless there is incontrovertible evidence. And rightly so.

[scotinsiam]

well handled, hope that is the problem solved. I do not have a child but have sponsered 2 here for years if anyone hit them I doubt I would be as restrained and handle it as well as you have done.

[quidnunc]

What's really shocking to me is how in the last 20 years or so in the USA this not-hitting-kids ethic has taken hold with predictable results: the murder rate has declined by almost half. And this in an era when guns are easier to get than ever. Americans should start beating some initiative back into their kids before the America we knew and loved is gone forever.

And has there been any studies on your claims? i.e "predictable results" "Americans should start beating some initiative back into their kids before the America we knew and loved is gone forever" Without studies to support your claim,it's pure conjecture.

As are all the claims of the old geezers here who attribute the breakdown of society to the lack of "discipline" inflicted on children. But I didn't see you challenging those assertions. Why not?

Wasnt it you ? that said this:

"As are all the claims of the old geezers here who attribute the breakdown of society to the lack of "discipline" inflicted on children. But I didn't see you challenging those assertions. Why not?"

And didnt I ? say this:

" Without studies to support your claim,it's pure conjecture"

Isn't that challenging?

Don't bother to answer you are mixed up enough already!

I think we both can agree that one of us is definitely confused.

[northernjohn]

northern john, what an absolute shame to hear about your unfortunate childhood and am so sorry if I hit a nerve as it seems this thread has to many including myself. I actually wasn’t sure at all what to do as I have previously mentioned and one of the reasons I wrote the OP. As for using this resource as a way to work out a problem that is unique to our lives here I think that it's a good use of TV. I want to thank all those who allowed me to indulge myself by using this thread as a process to sort out my feelings and have my thoughts influenced by you at the same time. As it is apparent that I sounded like I was attacking those in disagreement with my opinion this was not my intentions at all since I didn’t really know how I felt about it all. I do partake in discussions by disagreeing when I don’t feel the same way hoping to generate further discussion and in turn hopefully learning something. This has been a grounding experience that made me not only question my priorities but also act upon them. I once again thank and apologies to those whom it is appropriate.

Like I said I realized that in later life they payed off big. Immaterial.

I read all your ports as I respect you for them. But I feel on this one that you are not looking for input you are looking for support for your way of thinking. Try looking at it from the child's point of view of how their peers will react. As I said in my last post you may be rite and live to enjoy it. On the other hand you may be wrong and live top regret it. After all it is the kid who will really have to live with the results on a daily basses. Or maybe nothing will happen. I just want you to consider that.

I just read your experience. I hope you are right and the other kids do not tease him over it.

Edited June 15, 2014 by northernjohn

[beb]

Didn't read all the replies but it's illegal. Take pictures, contact the school.

I don't buy into the idea of trying to bring holy hell down on anybody. The teacher may not realize he's out of line. Some of the attitudes have changed recently. The school should be scared to death if you have pictures etc.

Not defending an abusive teacher or meaning to insult but the idea that you're going to confront and possibly attack this guy is not about resolving the issue but about your ego.

[junglechef]

northernjohn

On the point of different parents using different disciplines at home that is their choice (to a point) and how their children turn out will be in part due to how they were parented. Same goes for how it effects his classmates, I am not their Father nor was I asked to act on their behalf (more like the opposite as none of the other parents would get involved).

My children are taught to be responsible for their actions 100% and if you knew me or could see the inner workings of our home life you wouldn't have mentioned this, but as you don't and can't you'll have to believe me that they are not only punished but taught beforehand, and again after if necessary (which of course is often) as I try my best to be responsible of my parenting responsibilities or you could say my actions too.

I disagree, in what I have seen so far, that in this culture at his age he will be looked down on by his peers for my speaking with his teach and doubt they will even know. Also in my eyes I didn't make a big deal of it, just had a word with the teacher privately after a teacher/parent meeting. It seems to me that children are younger for their age here and have a much different relationship with their classmates. One observation is that they very rarely have friends over each other houses (adult too compared to the West) unless they live in close proximity as the family takes precedence and the parents are many times only concerned with their relatives.

But what I wanted to do was give you the respect with a reply for you latest post as I feel you have shown strength and fairness while trying to help me. Obviously I did what I think is right and it still comes off to me that if one worries about doing the wrong thing resulting in regretting it, after putting much thought in what to do, is just being afraid to act on one's convictions. Of course none of us has a crystal ball so we just have to go for it and hope for the best if that's in our make up.

Finally since you so bravely opened up here I would like to share that I was a very small child, a good foot shorter then the bigger kids in junior high school, and had a father who was while loving and great provider worked up to 20 hrs a day and didn't put the time in with me to teach me how to throw a ball etc. So I was quite a little wimp and was often bullied at school as I didn't have the confidence and it really was upsetting to me then. Luckily I have had the opportunity to spend enormous amount with my boys and have not only showed them how to be tough, but not mean, physically but also mentally so I have full confidence if any of the kids do tease him he'll be able to handle it fine. They are kids after all and although to you it might seem that I baby them I don't at all (but give them lots and lots of love!) and they'll deal with any school yard antics if they arise.

beb, with all due respect your comments are wrong. It shows, as you ave said, that you haven't read the posts. It is a long thread but all your points have been dealt with in so if your interested in having a meaningful dialogue please inform yourself first.

[AnotherOneAmerican]

My partner, whom is my son’s mother, and myself went to the teacher/parent meeting this morning. After quietly sitting through what appeared to be an organized hour long presentation by the teacher followed by a question and answer session, which I didn’t understand as it was all in Thai, we waited for the room to clear except for another school employee. While this was happening my girlfriend inquired with some of the other Mothers and none of them admitted to knowing anything about it. One woman called her son in and he said that although he was inside at the time cleaning the classroom, which my son had told us that some of the boys had been spared for this reason, he had heard about it. All she said was that she agreed that this was not acceptable behavior from the teacher. I’m not going to give much weight to any of this as they might just come out the opposite if she was talking to someone of a different opinion. Of course no one volunteered to speak to the teacher with us which didn’t surprise me.

We politely approached the teacher at his desk, who looked at least in his early 30’s to me as opposed to my girlfriend’s 20’s estimation, and she told him that our son said he hit most of the boys on Friday and asked him to please explain (paraphrasing of course as I don’t know her exact words). He spoke only looking at my Girlfriend and in a calm, though I sensed a bit of agitation that he was being questioned, and said after telling them to stop playing twice he lined them up and hit them (my boy said he didn’t ask but very well the kids didn’t hear him, he didn’t ask first, he did or either or both parties are making it sound better for themselves and as I’ve said before I don’t care as it’s not the point of contention).

I then asked my girlfriend to ask whom gave him permission to hit my child and he said no one, very matter-of-factly without obvious hubris nor humility. By now I made sure he was also addressing me with his answers.

At this point I addressed him directly and said with conviction saying “Mai Mai” while keeping my voice low and my body language subtle. When then asked if knew that it was against the law he said “yes”.

He then explained that he did not want the children to get hurt. Repeating his rational, as misaligned as it seems to me he did appear to be more genuine then just making up an excuse, he continued asking who would be responsible if one of the kids got hurt while rough housing. He continued by saying that he didn’t want to be responsible so it appeared that he was as much concerned with protecting himself. He then said kind of annoyingly that if our son gets hurt it's not his fault. After a few more “mai mai” from me I had my girlfriend tell him that we would be and if there is ever another problem to call us.

I asked if our son was misbehaving in school, as we know from his grades that he’s in the top of his class, he said no it was just boys being boys. I explained that he is there to teach our son and that teaching that one should not hit by hitting is not a very good method. I also repeated that there is to be no hitting anymore and asked if he understood which he responded with a resounding yes.

At this point the other school employee, an middle age women who was above him in the school hierarchy, told us that there was a meeting yesterday that addressed there was to be no hitting at all in the school.

We were both satisfied to leave it at that for now and not get the Principle involved as hopefully this will be the end of it and by not making too much trouble for him it will in turn not result in him making any trouble for my son.

Though I’m sure he understood but to make a final point I stared at him and quietly said in my poor Thai that my son was small, he was big and I was bigger, also something I’m positive he understood.

The only thing you needed to ask was "Do you understand that a teacher hitting a pupil, for any reason, is against the law in Thailand".

Which you appear to have failed to do.

Edited June 16, 2014 by AnotherOneAmerican

[junglechef]

AnotherOneAmerican you wrote "The only thing you needed to ask was "Do you understand that a teacher hitting a pupil, for any reason, is against the law in Thailand". Which you appear to have failed to do."

My fourth paragraph in it's entirety "At this point I addressed him directly and said with conviction saying “Mai Mai” while keeping my voice low and my body language subtle. When then asked if knew that it was against the law he said “yes”."

Having seen how laws are obeyed, enforced and respected here I felt that it was not such a black and white, closed book issue, as most things aren't. It is also obvious from the teacher response that it's not that simple.

AOA, your a advice, contrary to some other's in this thread, that as a foreigner I should be involved. I agreed and followed thru with and hopeful it will have a positive effect. As for Thai not challenging authority I had to discuss beforehand how my girlfriend and I were going to handle this, including our disposition, emphasizing more than once that she must be calm and not be too confrontational (which we thought video recording the meeting would be). Maybe she's just been hanging around me too long !

As I have put much time and effort posting in this thread and as much as I am looking for, and am very appreciative of, imput I would appreciate that others do the same while reading before adding comments themselves. I have corrected so many misread poster's responses that I feel this is almost turning into being about defending my posts and myself not my child.

Edited June 17, 2014 by junglechef

[AnotherOneAmerican]

Yeah, you are right, you got it right, I missed that bit.

Well done.

Too few foreigners are all talk and no action.

Well done again.

No Thai will ever change the system, the change can only come from outside.

You have helped that change in a positive way.

Edited June 17, 2014 by AnotherOneAmerican

[junglechef]

Well I humbly appreciate your remarks. I didn't really consider it a thing of nationality or even who is the legal parent (as other's have mentioned), just being a father to my son. As a Westerner of course I look at it in with the perspective I grew up with and if that helps all the more good.

p.s. My son came home from school yesterday and said that everything was the same as in the teacher and kids didn't pick on him or treat him any differently (well without the hitting)

Edited June 17, 2014 by junglechef