Thai men and their offspring - why do so many not care after a divorce?

[simple1]

OP I'll try to answer some aspects of your post.

On a personal note my father abandoned my mother as soon as he knew she was pregnant, my mother later found out he was already married with children. I can tell you at the time my mother experienced a great deal of discrimination from family & friends. She had had a very tough time financially for a number of years even though her family were fairly wealthy. Generally, as far as I know, Thai families are not so harsh.

When I met my future wife we visited her family home to meet her immediate family; I've now known them for 18 years. I later found out that three of the kids were supported & loved by my wife's sisters and brothers after the fathers had left their birth mothers and the mother entered a new relationship. None of the three children received financial support from their fathers or mothers. To this day none of the three hold any resentment regarding their past.

All of the three are now functioning, working members of Thai society who, with their husband/wife, lovingly care for their children.

Edited June 14, 2014 by simple1

[seajae]

face has a lot to do with it I think, it seems if the father and mother have a difference of opinion then face demands that they never talk to each other again and the kid becomes the poisoned chalice. Also the fact that a lot of men are not capable of accepting responsibility for what they help create. There are some in the western countries that think the same but a lot accept they are dads too, if you love your kid/s how in the hell can you simply have nothing to do with them even if the mothers are bitches. If you abandon your kids then you are pretty pathetic, doesnt matter who the mother is, as the father you do have responsibilities, anyone saying otherwise are simply pulling themselves and full of sh*t. You can tell who the losers are in this argument, they are the ones that are still running, there is no excuse to not accept what you did, just makes you out to be a total

[lovelomsak]

A lot of Thai men show no responsibilty towards their children even well married. Many drink all their money and have giks on the side they spend all their money on and only come home to eat the food their wife worked for and paid for . Then have sex and go to sleep. This plays out till one of them leaves, usually the women goes home to parents..The men just go on being selfish spoiled little drunk men, find another desperate woman and renew the cycle. The men enjoy being bigshots with their buddies buying whiskey and women and think nothing of family life.

Actually I realize I just described my wifes first husband.

Edited June 14, 2014 by lovelomsak

[AnotherOneAmerican]

A lot of Thai men show no responsibilty towards their children even well married. Many drink all their money and have giks on the side they spend all their money on and only come home to eat the food their wife worked for and paid for . Then have sex and go to sleep. This plays out till one of them leaves, usually the women goes home to parents..The men just go on being selfish spoiled little drunk men, find another desperate woman and renew the cycle. The men enjoy being bigshots with their buddies buying whiskey and women and think nothing of family life.

That sounds quite appealing, wish I had thought of it earlier in life.

[hellohello123]

Thai men are just less susceptible to blackmail.

My former western wife tried it on with me, being a sensible Thai man, I just moved country.

They/we just place "not being a pussy whipped doormat" above "being a dad".

Sounds like a loser attitude, real men take care of their kids.

thats the typical "im a farang, I know better then everyone attitude", and is completely BS

I actually agree with you on the concept, but not on the delivery, referring to "real men" is a cop out

some countries, the men dont do housework, cooking and cleaning, as think long as the father financially supports the kid, then his responsiblities are done,

who are you to say which is better, you could also argue that being blackmailed and badmouthed by the mother is just as toxic and its better for the child to not know the father instead of knowing the father while being poisoned by the mother,

who are you to judge

[bkkgooner]

Thai men are just less susceptible to blackmail.

My former western wife tried it on with me, being a sensible Thai man, I just moved country.

They/we just place "not being a pussy whipped doormat" above "being a dad".

So you just abandoned your child?

Nice, must be really proud of yourself.

I have seen a fair few farangs adopting this attitude in Thailand, they leave their kids to be raised in some shithole up in Issan while they party it up every weekend in Bangkok. Blokes who don't raise their own children are scum, blokes who send a few thousand baht every month to keep the guilt at bay are equally scummy. There's nothing pussy whipped about being a father.

[transam]

Thai men are just less susceptible to blackmail.

My former western wife tried it on with me, being a sensible Thai man, I just moved country.

They/we just place "not being a pussy whipped doormat" above "being a dad".

So you just abandoned your child?

Nice, must be really proud of yourself.

I have seen a fair few farangs adopting this attitude in Thailand, they leave their kids to be raised in some shithole up in Issan while they party it up every weekend in Bangkok. Blokes who don't raise their own children are scum, blokes who send a few thousand baht every month to keep the guilt at bay are equally scummy. There's nothing pussy whipped about being a father.

You've never been married then.........?..............

[GinBoy2]

To add to some of the more reasoned responses. Curiously there was a BP opinion piece a couple of days ago on the topic of teenage pregnancy. In today's BP there was a letter response from a Thai woman, basically saying that if Thai men actually had to pay for their kids upbringing, condom sales would skyrocket. To me this is the problem, there are no consequences for fathering kids. Have sex, woman pregnant, move on. Now I'm not saying it's just a guy thing, yep, I've known Thai women who drop their kids faster than a pair of dirty underwear, but in general it's men. I'm not justifying some of the excesses of western systems with regard to child support, but equally I could never have imagined not supporting the upbringing of my kids. Not so true of 'most' Thai men I'm sorry to say

Edited June 14, 2014 by GinBoy2

[AnotherOneAmerican]

To add to some of the more reasoned responses. Curiously there was a BP opinion piece a couple of days ago on the topic of teenage pregnancy. In today's BP there was a letter response from a Thai woman, basically saying that if Thai men actually had to pay for their kids upbringing, condom sales would skyrocket. To me this is the problem, there are no consequences for fathering kids. Have sex, woman pregnant, move on. Now I'm not saying it's just a guy thing, yep, I've known Thai women who drop their kids faster than a pair of dirty underwear, but in general it's men. I'm not justifying some of the excesses of western systems with regard to child support, but equally I could never have imagined not supporting the upbringing of my kids. Not so true of 'most' Thai men I'm sorry to say

It's only 40bht for a morning after pill from any pharmacy.

That's cheaper than a condom.

So why blame the guy?

Of course,

I know the answer, you've been conditioned by women all your life, to think it's your fault.

So why do they keep telling us, their body, their choice?

It it's their body and their choice, shouldn't it also be their responsibility?

Edited June 14, 2014 by AnotherOneAmerican

[bkkgooner]

Thai men are just less susceptible to blackmail.

My former western wife tried it on with me, being a sensible Thai man, I just moved country.

They/we just place "not being a pussy whipped doormat" above "being a dad".

So you just abandoned your child?

Nice, must be really proud of yourself.

I have seen a fair few farangs adopting this attitude in Thailand, they leave their kids to be raised in some shithole up in Issan while they party it up every weekend in Bangkok. Blokes who don't raise their own children are scum, blokes who send a few thousand baht every month to keep the guilt at bay are equally scummy. There's nothing pussy whipped about being a father.

You've never been married then.........?..............

I am married, what are you on about?

[transam]

Thai men are just less susceptible to blackmail.

My former western wife tried it on with me, being a sensible Thai man, I just moved country.

They/we just place "not being a pussy whipped doormat" above "being a dad".

So you just abandoned your child?

Nice, must be really proud of yourself.

I have seen a fair few farangs adopting this attitude in Thailand, they leave their kids to be raised in some shithole up in Issan while they party it up every weekend in Bangkok. Blokes who don't raise their own children are scum, blokes who send a few thousand baht every month to keep the guilt at bay are equally scummy. There's nothing pussy whipped about being a father.

You've never been married then.........?..............

I am married, what are you on about?

OK, ever been married in farangland..?

[GinBoy2]

To add to some of the more reasoned responses. Curiously there was a BP opinion piece a couple of days ago on the topic of teenage pregnancy. In today's BP there was a letter response from a Thai woman, basically saying that if Thai men actually had to pay for their kids upbringing, condom sales would skyrocket. To me this is the problem, there are no consequences for fathering kids. Have sex, woman pregnant, move on. Now I'm not saying it's just a guy thing, yep, I've known Thai women who drop their kids faster than a pair of dirty underwear, but in general it's men. I'm not justifying some of the excesses of western systems with regard to child support, but equally I could never have imagined not supporting the upbringing of my kids. Not so true of 'most' Thai men I'm sorry to say

It's only 40bht for a morning after pill from any pharmacy.

That's cheaper than a condom.

So why blame the guy?

Of course,

I know the answer, you've been conditioned by women all your life, to think it's your fault.

So why do they keep telling us, their body, their choice?

It it's their body and their choice, shouldn't it also be their responsibility?

You got some serious issues dude. Sorry whatever happened with you and your ex, but what I was talking about was basic human responsibilities. As the saying goes, It takes two to tango, and unfortunately only one dance partner gets left holding the baby. If you think walking away from from that is OK, well I'm not going to comment, but no one is blameless, and there is plenty of fault to spread around. But at the end of the day there is a child, who like it or not IS actually blameless

[transam]

To add to some of the more reasoned responses. Curiously there was a BP opinion piece a couple of days ago on the topic of teenage pregnancy. In today's BP there was a letter response from a Thai woman, basically saying that if Thai men actually had to pay for their kids upbringing, condom sales would skyrocket. To me this is the problem, there are no consequences for fathering kids. Have sex, woman pregnant, move on. Now I'm not saying it's just a guy thing, yep, I've known Thai women who drop their kids faster than a pair of dirty underwear, but in general it's men. I'm not justifying some of the excesses of western systems with regard to child support, but equally I could never have imagined not supporting the upbringing of my kids. Not so true of 'most' Thai men I'm sorry to say

It's only 40bht for a morning after pill from any pharmacy.

That's cheaper than a condom.

So why blame the guy?

Of course,

I know the answer, you've been conditioned by women all your life, to think it's your fault.

So why do they keep telling us, their body, their choice?

It it's their body and their choice, shouldn't it also be their responsibility?

You got some serious issues dude. Sorry whatever happened with you and your ex, but what I was talking about was basic human responsibilities. As the saying goes, It takes two to tango, and unfortunately only one dance partner gets left holding the baby. If you think walking away from from that is OK, well I'm not going to comment, but no one is blameless, and there is plenty of fault to spread around. But at the end of the day there is a child, who like it or not IS actually blameless

So a nice guy, is nooooooooooo problem, is part to blame.................

[pigeonjake]

To add to some of the more reasoned responses. Curiously there was a BP opinion piece a couple of days ago on the topic of teenage pregnancy. In today's BP there was a letter response from a Thai woman, basically saying that if Thai men actually had to pay for their kids upbringing, condom sales would skyrocket. To me this is the problem, there are no consequences for fathering kids. Have sex, woman pregnant, move on. Now I'm not saying it's just a guy thing, yep, I've known Thai women who drop their kids faster than a pair of dirty underwear, but in general it's men. I'm not justifying some of the excesses of western systems with regard to child support, but equally I could never have imagined not supporting the upbringing of my kids. Not so true of 'most' Thai men I'm sorry to say

It's only 40bht for a morning after pill from any pharmacy.

That's cheaper than a condom.

So why blame the guy?

Of course,

I know the answer, you've been conditioned by women all your life, to think it's your fault.

So why do they keep telling us, their body, their choice?

It it's their body and their choice, shouldn't it also be their responsibility?

how much is a pkt of condoms in the great USA,

you should of bought some, instead of sitting here braging how you left your children,, and came running back to thailand,

whats up would the police be after you in the good old USA,,failing to pay for your children against the law there?

[Andre0720]

Because they can get away with it, being irresponsible that is...

Their dads got away with it, so why couldn't they?

[RayHaas]

Please remove.

Why? Is it not a legitimate observation? How many high profile custody court cases have you read about in Thailand where the father is fighting for custody for visitation rights? I haven't. Why?

I was at Family court this week myself and there were a lot of Thai fathers fighting for custody rights. Maybe not high profile but for sure there were a lot of them.

[AnotherOneAmerican]

how much is a pkt of condoms in the great USA,

Dunno PJ, I've never used them.

In the USA, I was married so no need, over here the girls aren't bothered so no need.

All part of being irresponsible.

Edited June 14, 2014 by AnotherOneAmerican

[stickylies]

The shorter, plump dark lady with two dark skinned kids and a fat overage white dad.

[glegolo]

I stopped reading at post number 12, that guy who wrote that seems to post just jokes and have nothing to contribute at all. But must also say, that there were so little serious answer so it more shows the knowledge of the posters...

I live in isaan, and it is exactly like OP say it is, for the most part. there are som really good guys around that really tries to do the right thing. But it feels like the big mass is just trash and their opinion about children,even their own, are scary... Walk away, dont care, and they are doing this while they are being vividly applauded by their own parents.

In the village the guys own child can be born and raised 2 houses away, and the child knows that papa lives 100 meters away but NEVER speaks to him, helps him, or stand up for him...... IT IS a shitty society some times I believe.

Glegolo

Edited June 14, 2014 by glegolo

[atyclb]

The shorter, plump dark lady with two dark skinned kids and a FAT OVERAGE white dad.

Reminds me of a caricature cartoon i once saw. you see an asian looking brown female, 2 brown kids, a fat white guy and they meet the womens ex who greets them by saying (in a bubble) how is your wife and my kids?

Doubt theres any truth to it though.

Edited June 14, 2014 by atyclb

[thaigold]

Many Thai men that live with a new Thai woman have no interest in the children born to her by the ex husband. Western men might learn a lesson here. American women are notorious for using the slanted US court system to ream the ex husband. As a business manager on Guam, I received letters of threat in incarceration for an employee who's wife had remarried to wealth, and still wanted child payments from the ex husband, 7000 miles away. (He paid).

[sanuk711]

And Siddhartha Gautama (Buddha) looked down at his newly born child, & said, this child will be a ball & chain to me, binding me to my wife. So he got on his horse and he rode off into the night leaving both his wife & child behind.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R%C4%81hula

[wombat]

are you a carer of dark skinned spawn?

surely sir,you wax lyrical?

[RigPig]

Responsibility and consequences have a lot to do with it, there is none. There is no legal requirement to look after the baby if you are not married (legally, not an Isaan wedding). In a Thai mans eyes women are inferior, it's what their previous lives dealt out to them in this life. It's Buddha’s will the same as everything else.....

[ggt]

These kinds of posts...attract bottom feeders...lack any relevance...and are demeaning to posters and readers...

[thaicookingchef]

Thai men are lucky enough that in this country it is difficult to sue them and force them to pay especially if the mother is poor.

This is why i have only cheap affairs <3

[maximillian]

whereustay

Of course I don't want to generalize as I see many decent Thai men taking care of their kids. Of course, they also tend to be more affluent and upper society as those are the circles I roll in. Except when I ghetto down sometimes and partake in Isaan cuisine. But I would never marry one, unlike so many of the readers here.

Take it easy Mr. whereustay. I am married to an Isaan lady with two kids from a father that didn't run away but my wife got devorced from him.

She is a flawless diamont and so are her two daughters. I'm really greatful to her ex-husband to leave them all for me.

[realenglish1]

In Thai society woman are not as important as men and as for a child. It has to do with the law. In western countries there is clear law about child support In Thailand there is little if non to force someone to pay. This is a sad affair but this is the way it is . More to do with laws or lack of laws. And a lot of Thia men ( sorry guys you know who you are) just dont care about their kids when they exit a marriage. Most just move onto the next woman get her pregnant and then do it again.

This is one of the reasons many Thai woman prefer Western Men .

This is a great problem in Thai society and needs to be addresses but I suspect because men run the country not much will be done

[Frank James]

Surprised not to see "Bodhisattva CharlieHH" show up, citing this general discussion as an example of "cultural imperialism."

Anyway, whereyoustay, what do you hope to accomplish by dragging out this stereotype, the uncaring Somchai abandoning his errant sperm dribbles without a care, to be raised by old ladies back in the village, while poor Nok has to go grind away at Nana Plaza, waiting for Mister Right/Whitey. Sure, it happens all the time. There's no "answer" for it.

We would have a lot more of this situation in the West if the courts were not so adamant about support enforcement. A lot of guys pay up faithfully because they fear the consequences of not doing so, (garnishment of wages, ruined credit, jail time) not because they love the kids so much.

[jomcondo]

What % grow up without a father do you think?......

The kids seem to turn out ok, they just get on with it.

In the west they feel like they are denied/owed something.