What Languages Do Your Kids Speak?

[GuestHouse]

I was wondering.. (Three parts to this)

Those of you who have children in a mixed Thai/Non Thai marriage - What language do your kids speak?

And what is the mother language of the child's mother?

Finally, where do you live? (ie Thailand - The UK etc)

So if you are a Frenchman married to a Thai, do your children speak French or Thai (assuming that your wife speaks Thai - not all Thais do, for example expat Thais).

Alternatively a Frenchwoman married to a Thai, do your children speak French, Thai, both or another language.

I'm interested to hear if people teach their children both languages in mixed langauge marriages and if so is this more likely where the mother passes her language or more likely where the father passes his language.

Edited June 30, 2006 by GuestHouse

[Jasmine]

I find this fascinating too.

I'm from the UK, my husband is Thai. We have 2 kids and live in the UK.

Our daughter lived for 1 year in thailand and her first words were in Thai. We've lived in the UK since 2000 and she speaks mostly English despite her dad's attempts to talk to her in Thai.

She understands a lot of Thai vocabulary but can't put it all together and she also understands more Thai than she can speak. We have a Learn Thai CDRom designed for adults wanting to learn Thai for our pc which she plays and does really well on but she rarely speaks in Thai.

I think this is common in a lot of mixed R'ships but we mix up Thai and English in 1 sentence eg 'I ja go out now' (That' not the best example but hope you know what I mean). My daughter is always putting past tense 'ed' onto the end of Thai verbs which makes me laugh too.

I feel a bit sad that my daughter didn't get the full benefit of being bilingual. I think if we'd lived in Thailand she would have picked up both languages more easily. There is little use for Thai over here.

My other child is non-verbal age 6 (long story ) He also has limited understanding/mental impairment but he has followed instructions in both languages!

Edited June 30, 2006 by Jasmine

[tom yum goong]

GH, I know this is directed at parents so i hope you don't mind me relating my experience growing up as a mixed child in Thailand.

My father is English, my mother Thai-Chinese. I would speak Thai with my mum and the maids, and English with my father. Before I was old enough for school, my Thai was more fluent compared to my English as I spent more time with the maids since both my parents worked. I remember thinking to myself mainly in Thai.

Once i started going to school (I went to Bangkok Pattana, which is an international school) my English gradually improved. I think by the time i was 8 or 9 i was fairly fluent in both languages.

However, because i never studied Thai at school, English became my main language (I thought in English) and after being at boarding school in the UK, my ability to speak Thai gradually diminished.

Since moving back to Thailand 2 years ago, my Thai has improved in leaps and bounds, but English is still my preferred language, although i now sometimes count in Thai in my head. Maybe if i am here long enough I might start thinking in Thai.

[p1p]

I have four children aged from 6 to 16. My wife is Thai but educated in the UK and English is the Lingua Franca at home.

The two eldest children are at school in the UK and speak English only. They both understand Thai but, fir some reason, refuse to speak it.

The youngest two both speak Thai with the maids and their Thai friends, but they prefer to speak English. They are at an international school here.

[Tarragona]

I'm from the UK, wife is Thai, daughter is 13. We live in Thailand and my daughter goes to a Thai private school.

Since my daughter was born I have only used English with her and my wife speaks to her in Thai. With the wife I use Thai. My daughter generally prefers English-language TV channels to Thai ones and won't watch films that are dubbed in Thai.

She understands English fine and speaks pretty well. When speaking there is some Thai-style English grammar but if I give an indication that something is not quite right she can usually correct herself. I suppose this is because Thai is the dominant first language. Her active vocabulary seems to be a bit limited which is probably because I'm the only person she has to use English with on a regular basis. Reading and especially writing skills are much weaker but this is something I have to work on with, as the English at school is not very demanding.

She's just come back from 6 weeks in the UK with my family and without Mum and Dad! She didn't have any communication problems and there has been a noticeable effect on her vocabulary.

[p1p]

My daughter generally prefers English-language TV channels to Thai ones and won't watch films that are dubbed in Thai.

Interesting this. None of my children will willingly watch Thai films or TV. Nor do they want to listen to Thai music.

[billd766]

It is a little more tricky for me as our son will be 2 in a month and he speaks mostly Thai with a little English and some Muser from the people that work for us. My wife is Thai and we live in Thailand but every so often I go offshore to work and then my wife speaks to him in English as well.

However I am almost ready to quit working so he will continue to speak the 3 languages.

I have just had 2 months in Bangladesh and his speaking has increased so much in that time I couldn't believe it. Now the problem is keeping him quiet when we want to talk which is another challenge as I have found a lot of Thai children shout at/to their at their parents to get attention.

[dereklev]

I am English and my wife Thai. We live near Korat.

We have an 18 month old son, who speaks and particularly understands both English and Thai.

We speak mainly English to him at home as we feel he won't have any problems learning Thai.....

He loves watching cartoons and actually has a preference to watch in Thai...

[Tarragona]

Interesting this. None of my children will willingly watch Thai films or TV. Nor do they want to listen to Thai music.

Going to the cinema was something I did together with my daughter from when she was 3/4 years old. My wife didn't use to like trips to the cinema much and didn't usually go with us. So that was an English part of my daughter's life early on and she soon refused to watch Thai-dubbed films that my wife got to watch at home. (There are Thai films that she enjoys though).

I think the TV thing is partly down to the difference in quality and content between Thai TV and foreign-produced shows. Her favourite channel is Nickelodeon (favourite show is Josh and Drake) which seems to hit the mark for a young teenager.

So her preference for English viewing material is interesting given that her dominant language is Thai.

One other point of interest to add to the discussion. I have always read bedtime stories to my daughter and still do (in English of course). My wife has never ever done this and as my daughter has become a teenager has voiced open opposition to what she sees as a babyish habit. I see it as a vitally important link between us and also a wonderful way to use language that would never occur in our everyday interaction.

Edited July 1, 2006 by Tarragona

[ronz28]

I am American and my wife is Thai. We have lived in the U.S. the entire time and our two daughters only speak English. They took Thai lessons for a while at the Wat but we just spoke English at home out of convenience so they only speak English now.

They are married now and I am not sure they will ever learn Thai. I think you really need to live in Thailand to learn Thai.

[Thai-Aust]

In Australia, I have seen many Thai kids speak only English even though both parents are Thais (if they’ve migrated to Australia since they were young). The same goes to mixed race as well. My friend is married to an Irish guy, all 5 boys don’t understand a word of Thai.

I think it entirely depends on where they live, if they live in Thailand they sure will speak Thai. If they live abroad, the local language will be the major language although the Thai parent has a limited skill of the language.

[soihok]

I think that you are all lucky that your children are able to communicate,verbally,with you , their parents.

My daughter is mentally disabled and unable to communicate to my wife(Thai) and myself (British) VERBALLY.

Sorry to put a damper on your topic, but just step back ,sometimes ,and put in perspective ,what is trivial !

[Jasmine]

I think that you are all lucky that your children are able to communicate,verbally,with you , their parents.

My daughter is mentally disabled and unable to communicate to my wife(Thai) and myself (British) VERBALLY.

Sorry to put a damper on your topic, but just step back ,sometimes ,and put in perspective ,what is trivial !

Err if you read my post you would see that I also have 1 mentally disabled child who is still non-verbal at age 6, growing up in a bil-lingual family.

I don't think this thread was meant to make those of us with disabled kids feel bad, just a discussion about language development. However I totally understand that sometimes it's hard. My boy is just starting to use some sign language. We had no communication from him until very recently.

I'm thinking your daughter might have the same condition as my son ??? ASD?

Take Care

Edited July 1, 2006 by Jasmine

[greenwanderer108]

I am American and my wife is Thai. We have lived in the U.S. the entire time and our two daughters only speak English. They took Thai lessons for a while at the Wat but we just spoke English at home out of convenience so they only speak English now.

They are married now and I am not sure they will ever learn Thai. I think you really need to live in Thailand to learn Thai.

So often is the case with American bi-cultural families. Same as my Thai mother being a naturalized American, she was fully fluent in English by the time I was born and had little incentive to speak Thai with me and my sisters. Part of me believes that she wanted her children to speak perfect clear English so they (we) wouldn't have to deal with racism like she initially did not speaking clear American English.

Anyhow, with hindsight, now that I've migrated to Thailand and finally am bi lingual from the last 5 years of self intensive training, I believe bi cultural parents who choose only to raise their kids with one language are making a big mistake denying their child what will only come naturally if only allowed.

Certainly many Thai American families in the states make an effort by sending their kids to the Wat Thai to take Thai lessons, but it will hardly be enough if they ever really have to use the language or can see the value of the language. Most of the monks in the states, as well as volunteer teachers can speak decent English and will tend to fall back using English with their pupils so often since they themselves are so pressured into learning English as to survive and fit in in the states (or other foreign country) So, months of sending the kids to the overseas temple might be good in learning a few vocab words or exposure to Thai culture, but the only real way for the kid to become any fluent in Thai is for him/her to have experience/time spent in Thailand where the value and learning will come natural.

[donx]

I have three kids - a boy almost 6, a girl 3, and another girl 4 months old. We live in the U.S. but have visited Thailand several times. My son is completely bilingual but tends to respond mostly in English unless he is forced to speak Thai such as at the local Thai Wat. My oldest daughter is well on her way to being bilingual. She still has problems with Thai sentence structures, but her Thai vocabulary is good and she enjoys using Thai. She can even sing the Thai alphabet song. Both are currently in a Thai language summer school program at our local Wat.

I hope that we can continue to expose them all to Thai language situations that strengthen their Thai language skills. They have several friends from mixed Thai/American parents and I notice that whenever they play together, they never use Thai, only English. I hope that my kids continue to learn Thai including being able to read and write Thai. I know that extended stays in Thailand forced my son to speak it. Hopefully we will be able to continue these trips in the future for my daughters' sakes.

[Nawtilus]

Two kids, one is 1yo and speaks gibberish in both english and Thai. The few words she does speak, she speaks in english probably 80% so far.

The other is 4yo and is fluent in both Thai and english. He can sing the anthem, he can write most of the Thai alphabet. His vocabulary is strong in both areas, his written and reading is strongest by far in english, but this is basically because he goes to an international school which focuses 80% on english and the rest thai. He was translating for me at 2yo.

We live in Los.

[samran]

grew up in OZ with a Thai mum and a Aust father. Spoke English to both of them.

The reason I speak Thai is that my Thai grandmother lived with us, and she couldn't speak a word of English, so there was no way around it. I had to learn Thai. Added to that, being sent up here most summer holidays for 2-3 months, formally studying it at unviersity and then working here on and off (mostly on) since 1997.

[Lacoste]

My wife is Thai, her Father is Chinese and I am English. We live in Thailand and my Son and Daughter both speak read and write English, Thai, Chinese and French. My Son has started learning Spanish now also. My Son is Nine years old and my Daughter Seven this month.

Cheers Charles.

[sylvafern]

My son is 21 months and seems to understand English and Thai equally as good although most of the words he speaks are English ... I hope he will become fully bilingual but with his father (who's Thai) working overseas, I think he will most likely be stronger in English. I think the key to becoming fully bilingual is speaking to children in both languages from a very young age. E.g. My son knows all the main body parts in three languages ... English, Thai and Maori (native language of NZ) .... something that many adults wouldn't have a hope of learning as quickly as he did!

[soic]

My children in Thailand are 5 and 14, they're her's I'm a step-father, but they are both trying to learn English as I'm trying to learn Thai. We don't "expect" each other to meet our standards. We get along fine, even if we don't understand the languages, we still communicate well. When I want the 14 year old son at home by 9 pm or want him to help his Mom. He understands me, if not the English.

My daughter in the states is from a previous marraige. She's 4 years old, Romanian and American. At 4, she speaks Romanian and English perfectly for a small child. She can also speak some Spanish, as they're teaching that in Pre-K. She's been on a kick lately, when my Ex or her Romanian Grandparents speak to her in Romanian, she answers in English. She really is a character.

[farangsay]

My kids grew up in France (and me and the missus are Irish).

We spoke English at home (deliberately) so as to keep up that language and

they all went to French schools.

They did end up bilingual (ie a French person would not be able to detect that

they were not French from listening to them).

They have been living in Ireland for 8 years now but the two oldest lads still

speak to each other in French (but they have pronounced Dublin accents in English).

An Irish couple I knew once decided to speak French at home , to help the kids

with the language. They ended up with kids who were very weak in English.

To be bilingual has got to be an advantage these days.

For mine one language at home and the other at school and with the pals did the trick

[thaigene2]

I'm a native-English speaker, my wife is Thai. We live in BKK and speak both languages at home. Our 2 kids: 4 and 2-1/2. The elder speaks 80% Thai. Younger one still just saying the odd word..a bit worrying as I thought girls learned to speak faster.

I'm worried about schooling. We can't afford international schools here and may have to move back to the West.

[frenchFARANGbkk]

My wife is Thai, her Father is Chinese and I am English. We live in Thailand and my Son and Daughter both speak read and write English, Thai, Chinese and French. My Son has started learning Spanish now also. My Son is Nine years old and my Daughter Seven this month.

Cheers Charles.

Hello,

They are really young to be able to write 4 languages, can you explain what is the language you speak at home and how you managed to teach them 4 languages?

I read somewhere that speaking more than 2 or 3 languages with young kids can confuse them forever.

Thanks.

[Lacoste]

My wife is Thai, her Father is Chinese and I am English. We live in Thailand and my Son and Daughter both speak read and write English, Thai, Chinese and French. My Son has started learning Spanish now also. My Son is Nine years old and my Daughter Seven this month.

Cheers Charles.

Hello,

They are really young to be able to write 4 languages, can you explain what is the language you speak at home and how you managed to teach them 4 languages?

I read somewhere that speaking more than 2 or 3 languages with young kids can confuse them forever.

Thanks.

They learn all four at school. I speak both English and Thai with them but mostly English, my wife will speak to them in all four languages and they know when they are using each of the different languages no problem, also like i said my son is also starting Spanish.

Your point about the confusion was infact my concern also, though they seem to be ok. My wife learned four languages at an early age in a simmilar fashion, she is now fluent in six, so i guess it's ok if you keep an eye on it.

My son will be going to England to study when he is 12 years old so we will see what happens then.

I have a friend here in Bangkok and his son is 12 years old and already pretty much fluent in five languages.

I wish i had the same options when i was a kid.

Cheers.

[davethailand]

my 2 thai step kids are learning english in school and also after school, I'd like them to be able to read and write and of course speak 100% to give them a chance of a good job as i've told them (if i'm still around of course) that they won't be working anywhere near the bar scene when they're older.

I was a bastard at school and regret it now.

[seri thai]

I have 2 Thai step-children aged 10 and 11 and now a handsome little luk-kreung of 2 months. The older kids learn english in the local catholic school but living in Korat see little reason to use it. They dont meet many Farang. I learnt French at school-badly-as I didnt know any french people (still dont!)

The world however is smaller and learning thai has little practical use in the modern world outside Thailand. A second language (English or Chinese ideally) will be critical in the future. The kids laugh at this suggestion which is frustrating and I will certainly ensure my youngest son learns english (or chinese!!) and practices it. At age 10 I couldn't see myself living outside the UK. Today nearly all my friends do! Those Thais without a second language are disenfranchised but then with the social fabric as it is are less inclined to travel abroad (or to the next town or village) anyway. Education-use it or lose it!

[In the Rai!]

I have 2 children, the oldest is 2yrs and 3 mnths and the youngest is 7 Months. They were both born in Australia and recently moved back to Thailand just 4 months ago. I am Australian and the Mother is Thai but speaks fluent English. We speak only English with the kids at all times and the oldest understands English well.

They both go to day care here through the day and since arriving back here the oldest's English hasnt really improved but now she is putting thai words in her English sentences.

Is this normal? Does anyone have any experience from their children about this. At roughly what age do they start to seperate the 2 languages?

[Thaiboxer]

My wife and I speak English to our 10 month old son at home, although she and the rest of the family speak Thai to him at the in-laws' house. It's funny, but when he babbles in his baby dialect, it sounds much more like English than Thai! My mother-in-law says he doesn't sound like a Thai baby learning to speak. As and English teacher, I've come to learn the vast differences between the two languages so it would be extremely difficult for children to have the same level of proficiency all the time. They will often fluctuate in their ability as they're growing up.

[thaihome]

My 14 year old step-daughter was raised in village (since we were living oversea) until about 3 years ago. We weren’t very fair to her and placed her into boarding at a big international school when she was 11, straight from village. This was something of disaster, but she did learn to understand English some. Today, she understands me fairly well, but still doesn’t like to speak it much and pretty much only does so when forced into it. She still attends a Thai boarding school and does not live with us full-time (another story)

I remember a few years back living China we meet a Danish-Thai couple with 2 girls about 7 and 8. They had lived in China most of their lives and went to an American school. They spoke English with a mid-western American accent to me, Thai to their mother, Danish to Father, and Mandarin to the maid and any other Chinese person. They could shift practicality in mid sentence, and seemed to instinctively know which language to use depending on who they were speaking to. I asked them what language they thought in, they weren't sure and said it must be whatever they were speaking at that time. Thai was the dominant language since that is what they used to each other. Danish was the weakest and their father moaned about their pronunciation. All in all, I found it pretty amazing.

TH

[Neeranam]

I tell my wife(Thai) NOT to speak English with our daughter.

I ONLY speak English with her.

Unless your spouse can speak VERY good English, they shouldn't speak any at all, IMHO

Our little one(3 1/2) speaks Thai, English but being much more fluent(capable) in Thai.