How do Thai parents discipline there children?

[jossthaifarang]

OP, is there a better way to discipline a child? What do you propose? I don't have kid, so I don't know.

Taking away their favourate things, outings, treats etc.. When needed a hand to the bum, this worked for me when i was growing up and seems to work with my son, for the most part anyway..

[goltec]

Around us in this area (Isaan) I see allmost always children get what they want.

Hardly any guidance as we know it.....which also means punishment in some way, sometimes.

Could it be that the parents really want the children to like them for the reason that the children are supposed to take care of the parents later on in life?

[Saan]

OP, is there a better way to discipline a child? What do you propose? I don't have kid, so I don't know.

There are better ways to discipline a child. Many I suppose. Try mine, you'll like it if you believe in it.

I learned it from my father.

First you ask yourself who is the boss in the house. The parent or the child? If you choose parent you are on the right track.

Then you ask yourself who makes the rules in the house. If you choose parent, you score.

Next you ask yourself if your rules should be respected, obeyed. And I MEAN 100%. No ifs buts or whatevers. If you say No or Maybe you have lost the case, because that means that the child is the boss, he makes the rules. Think about this deeply; you might not like it, but it is the truth.

Read an article about the Chinese somewhere in this thread. It works wel in China!!

Also think about the real world we live in. If you don't follows the rules, you get fined or you go to jail.

Now, why insist on the 100% obedience for the children? Because it makes happy and balanced children.

For example, would you think a whining child is a happy child? (At least at that moment). Certainly not: the child wants something that he does not get, it being a toy, attention or candy. The child is convinced that he should have it and thinks (or knows) that be bothering you he will or may eventually get it.

If on the other hand the kid knows that NO is NO, the matter is settled and he goes on his happy way.

I could go on and on, but won't. I raised my daughters this way and they are greatful for it. Do they raise their children the same way? They try to, but they haven't decided yet who is the boss in the house.........

That, plus the lack of long term planning might also be the problem in Thai families.

R.

A good post. The 100% mark of obedience is not correct IMO. Should give kids some leeway to come with alternatives on some matters, thinkingabilities and creativity.

I believed in bringing kids up with parameters. The parameters were no-go lines, not to be crossed, but within the parameters the kids can make there own judgements. This gives them the chance to exercise their logic and develop personal ethics.

One of the problems with the Thai education system is that much is taught by rote and no creativity is allowed. It is the same problem when 100 per cent obedience is required. We manufacture little soldiers who are not allowed to think, just obey.

[Keesters]

My neighbor let's her dog out to poo in the street. The kids are then sent out to play in the same place.

Most times its the adults that need disciplining not the kids.

[eeeya]

at the gym I go to the young guys ( in their twenties) work out with weights have no idea of putting equipment back after using it. some afternoons there is nearly every single dumbbell on the floor. Plates everywhere. Some guy sitting on a popular piece of equipment playing with his phone.

The floor staff will come in and tidy the place up and then another guy will destroy it again.

I've been to a lot of gyms in many different countries and the thai gyms are always a mess. I've always wondered if there is any relation between this and being brought up with families or nannies who always clean up after them and do everything for them.

[benalibina]

Around us in this area (Isaan) I see allmost always children get what they want.

Hardly any guidance as we know it.....which also means punishment in some way, sometimes.

Could it be that the parents really want the children to like them for the reason that the children are supposed to take care of the parents later on in life?

I think it has to do with it, the feel good factor. Also, i think, that most of those parents never got anything from their own parents so they make it up by spoiling their own children. It has nothing to do with parenting and it is an easy way out. Any parent who spoils children makes it up by not being able/willing to raise children on a proper responsible way. I was a spoilt child myself and my parents were lacking some vital parenting skills.

[debrakfurlow]

I'm not sure where your from, but I can tell you the lack of discipline in the US has created a huge generation of children and young adults who have never heard the word consequence, much less experienced it. Gone from schools, families, politicians, and religious leaders.

Granted, I've only lived here for 3mo and I may find out later that I'm wrong, but so far the loudest and most disruptive kids are the foreign ones, who after some observation, apparently learned it from their parents.

[me313]

"Why does it seem like Thai parents never discipline there children."

Let's try for ... Why does it seem like Thai parents never discipline there their children in a way that I was disciplined in the West?

Do you know that a Thai Boy and a Thai Girl will be disciplined and treated differently?

.

Not everyone writes in perfect English and I think it's so arrogant to correct someone's spelling errors in such a way as to humiliate them on a forum in this way, as if you are a schoolteacher scolding a student. Even perfect spellers have faulty reasoning and bad ideas. How about enumerating on the point of how girls and boys are treated differently? That would have made your response interesting instead of insulting to the commentator and uncomfortable for the audience who doesn't smirk along with you in nasty attacks like this. I write this because I've read so many forums on different types of sites where people insult others for spelling mistakes as if they are stupid people. It seems like a nasty tactic and not in tune with what the person is saying. It's also a fallacy to assume that people with perfect spelling and grammar have higher levels of intelligence. Those who nit-pick about perfect grammar often have highly conformist attitudes and opinions (although you seem not to be that way).

Edited August 24, 2014 by me313

[debrakfurlow]

I wish you would post your comment on all sites. I can only assume that these people are bored, extremely unhappy, or just miserable human beings. If you wouldn't say it to someone's face (and i pray you are not that socially inept) please don't write it hiding behind anonymity. Thank you.

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[tartempion]

Our little 3,5 year girl is more disciplined by her Thai mother than by myself, but I prefer my methods.

I even have serious issues sometimes when she gets very, very tough with her, shouting and threatening with a stick, making her cry.

I don't see the usefulness of such attitude.

When she refuses to obey, I having a different opinion, just pick her up, bring her to the bathroom and hand her her toothbrush, no issues, or I drop her before the box of toys she needs to fill up with her toys etc etc.

But we both often explain the issue at hand and ask her if she understands, to which in most situations she will reply "understand".

Edited August 27, 2014 by tartempion

[debrakfurlow]

We call that abuse and it is your job as a parent to stop this. It never ends well. You have the right idea. Please visit some websites and find and use the ideas that fit your child and your household. Good luck.

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[stancatts]

According to Lansford et al (2010) Corporal punishment of children in nine countries as a function of child gender and parent gender. International Journal of Pediatrics, a majority of Thai parents use corporal punishment, indeed at a numerically higher rate than American parents.