Are gay massage parlors my last hope?

[smo]

A straight couple such as this we see all the time: husband, farang, old/older, still mobile, not frail, modest but youthful … wife, Thai, in her forty something, somewhat homely looking but still in decent shape – they look happy together! Now there’s a good match, no May-December or grandpa-grandaughter romance here I say to myself, an union that would last… So I’m wondering if a gay version of that is possible: farang: old/older (will be 60 any day now) – boyfriend: full-grown man, no twinkies for sure, in his burly (oops, Freudian slip) thirties/forties, motosai driver/chauffeur type – someone provincial at best who has no aspirations of going abroad - but who wants to settle down in his hometown/country with a farang such as above. I’m an easy eater, a dark-skinned, buffalo type guy from up Isaan country is my kind of dream boat! Tatum Channing is out of this world gorgeous (rent “Magic Mike” - and use your remote, er, to freeze frame that is) but that’s not what I’m looking for. My diet has changed from white-bread to sticky rice so to speak( I’m Asian American and here usually mistaken for a Japanese because of my light skin).

Where can I find my sweet man? I don’t drink, nor go to gay bars/nightclubs. I do go to bathhouses now and then and still get grabbed occasionally by young/younger ones especially on nude nights when they got glimpse of my frontal. Problem is it’s getting harder and harder for me to get hard (a mouthful I know ) in dark groping corners no matter how hard the young’un tries.

Back home, Southern California craigslist kept my dance (read ,(censored) pardon my french) card filled all year round. But now that I’m resettling here CL Thailand is quite dead in that department, to my chagrin (pardon my French again!).

Bangkok Sisters help me out! (please refrain from pithy sarcasm or stale jokes if you could, thanks!) Are gay massage parlors my last hope? Or should I make inquiries at the motorsai station around the corner? Go north, east, west etc?

Thanks in advance for your time and inpuit.

[kurnell]

Come on, just one stale joke. Please! Any comment to keep your post news worthy right?

Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

[WitawatWatawit]

Anyone got a spare working gaydar to lend this guy?

[robertthebruce]

Hi

I always think if you go looking for t, you never find it, just go about your everyday life, Tesco's , and Coffee Shops, and one day you will meet someone nice, probably start with a fleeting glance, and then lead on to something more meaningful..

Don't despair, keep up the hope

[smo]

Thanks Roberthebruce,

your kind words made my day!

[dundas]

I'm writing as someone in a position in some ways similar to yours, rather than as a possible partner (not ever having been to Isaan and not being much of a buffalo myself). The 'harder and harder' comment really resonated, too, and if you also feel the need to talk into an understanding ear about shrinkage and whatever happened to life-long guarantees not to mention the unfairness of it all, PM me, I'm a few years ahead of you in that department, buddy ... Anyway, even in my 60s I've had people try to approach me on the BTS and other public transport in Bangkok (I'm always with my partner in Bangkok, so it's never going to happen) but you, your situation is different, so adopt an open stance is my suggestion, whenever on public transport.

Tried a massage parlour once, but the massage boy was straight as quite a few are in Chiang Mai, and was so relieved when I just stayed with the massage. I got a huge and very loving hug when I gave him the normal tip at the end of it all but I don't think the hug was likely to be a prelude to a future relationship.

I've also had offers on Fridae, often with a hint of money boy, and never taken anyone up on it, not that there's anything wrong with people on Fridae. Or Gay Romeo for that matter. I met my current partner (then 39, now 44, from the country but not Isaan) in the sauna in Chiang Mai, and we've been together a bit over four years, have a business together, and are tied up in various ways, mostly financial. He was actually looking for a business partner, and he found me. So as roberthebruce said - someone will show up. Just be ready for them when they are. Or you might try for a referral from someone who has a friend who has a friend who is looking for someone just like you ... arranged marriages of that sort happen, too, more often than you think. Oh, and you don't have to be hard, as long as the other party is, some of us have to learn to swallow that re- (oh, OK, enough, I'll finish here).

Edited August 14, 2014 by dundas

[ironbark]

Ditto about the age and energy thing. I've had two good LTR in the past before coming to Thailand. One died, the other we parted on good terms and still good friends so I think I have been more privileged than many. As I am in my reclining years now I have been pleasantly surprised at the interest and enthusiasm quite young gay Thai have had for a relationship with me. One of the pleasant discoveries as I aged is that their are some people that actually enjoy a relationship with older men.

Yes, money/security is usually the bottom line with them but I am not offended by that. It is human nature, gay or straight. Long term planning on their behalf is just common sense. I would do the same in their position.

The important thing is to know there also genuine interest, friendship, attraction, compatability. Call it love if you wish or something else but the important thing is you make a connection on that emotional level. Yes I have met my fair share of good looking straight money boys and we had a short fling. The physical side was bloody fantastic and I would have considered something more permanent but they lacked that essential emotional connection. Others I have met we really connected on the mental level but the physical side was frankly bleaaah!!!.

So I'm still looking for that third special person. If it happens great. If it doesn't, then I cannot complain because I have had such a good time in the search.

BTW, to answer you question, I do most of my hunting in massage shops. It saves a lot of time on the awkward explanations and avoids accidently offending if I pick up the wrong person. There are plenty of straight money boys but there are also plenty of more homely gay boys that realise they are rapidly approaching their use by date and seriously looking for their Mr Right.

Edited August 15, 2014 by ironbark

[robertthebruce]

Some lovely honest replies, like I said, don't give up.

There is nice people out there, it's just finding them....

But who knows what tomorrow holds.....

All the best , and so so refreshing to get some nice honest responses.

Robertthebeuce

[Fookhaht]

If Isaan type guys are your target, it wouldn't hurt to live here as well. The Isaan guys who live and work in The Big Mango (Bangkok) are a little more jaded (IMHO).

Up here, you get the unspoiled country boy type; I believe the kind you're looking for. Many are attracted to older gentlemen.

Edited August 16, 2014 by Fookhaht

[smo]

Just a short reply here but first, thanks for all the sincere and caring answers - I'm glad that my SOS has met with genuine concern from other members.

dundas - I'm going to pm you,just because you told me too.

Fookhart - I'm going to pm you too for more practical guidance (where/how and whatnot.) You seem to hit the nail on the head regarding the emotional connection (I think that what makes my "getting hard" hard!) But realistically speaking, I'm at the stage now where I could/should embark on a quest for Mr. Right ("there ain't no mountains high enough" kind of quest). Come to think of it, there's nothing left to lose but our precious and rapidly dwinling time (not to mention health) on earth...

and robertthebruce - as always you're the sugar that makes the pill go down.

[smo]

Sorry I left out ironbark. you're the one who cited the emotional connection! Fookhaht is the one from Isaan country.

[robertthebruce]

SMO

You DEFINETLY have a way with words, that alone will charm some nice Thai Guy.

All the best and enjoy life, this is no,dress rehearsal,we are only here once....

Smile......

[Dogear]

I'm of British/German heritage originally from San Francisco, USA and just hit 60. However, I seem to get a decent amount of attention at gay saunas and spas and even a few times at the gym, while shopping, waiting for public transit, even the concierge of a hotel that some visiting straight friends were staying at. The Skytrain seems to be the most common occurrence in public transit for me and for shopping it seems to be the more upscale shops/malls. Given this, I would have to agree with the comments suggesting that you just go about your life and keep your mind and attention open to meeting people. There have been a couple times that someone showed interest in public and I almost missed it entirely because I assumed it wasn't the right venue or my gaydar was misaligned and giving me the "no, he's probably straight" signal.

My biggest challenge is meeting men my age. Sure I get plenty of attention from 30-something Thai men that prefer Farangs and refer to me as "papa". But, ultimately I prefer men around my age, any nationality and not really interested in being anyones "Daddy". It seems most men that I meet in that age range who are Thai are already in an LTR. The age-appropriate, western expats are only interested in someone at least 20 years younger, preferably Thai. I had a similar experience when I lived in Mexico for 2 years.

[onthemoon]

I'm of British/German heritage originally from San Francisco, USA and just hit 60. However, I seem to get a decent amount of attention at gay saunas and spas and even a few times at the gym, while shopping, waiting for public transit, even the concierge of a hotel that some visiting straight friends were staying at. The Skytrain seems to be the most common occurrence in public transit for me and for shopping it seems to be the more upscale shops/malls. Given this, I would have to agree with the comments suggesting that you just go about your life and keep your mind and attention open to meeting people. There have been a couple times that someone showed interest in public and I almost missed it entirely because I assumed it wasn't the right venue or my gaydar was misaligned and giving me the "no, he's probably straight" signal.

My biggest challenge is meeting men my age. Sure I get plenty of attention from 30-something Thai men that prefer Farangs and refer to me as "papa". But, ultimately I prefer men around my age, any nationality and not really interested in being anyones "Daddy". It seems most men that I meet in that age range who are Thai are already in an LTR. The age-appropriate, western expats are only interested in someone at least 20 years younger, preferably Thai. I had a similar experience when I lived in Mexico for 2 years.

Yes, I can imagine that most 60-yo gays in Thailand are interested in guys 20 years their junior - or are already in an LTR.

However, I don't believe you are the only one in that age range looking for someone in the same age range. I see it as a niche, not as a solitary situation. Go to the places where 60-yo gays go (Silom Soi 4 comes to mind, but of course that's for all age groups), and eventually you will meet someone.

If not, you'll have an excuse for a beer.

Edited September 13, 2014 by onthemoon

[AnotherOneAmerican]

Tried a massage parlour once, but the massage boy was straight as quite a few are in Chiang Mai, and was so relieved when I just stayed with the massage. I got a huge and very loving hug when I gave him the normal tip at the end of it all but I don't think the hug was likely to be a prelude to a future relationship.

I've even had the massage guys at the temple massage trying to give me a go.

You must be one ugly dude!

[dundas]

Tried a massage parlour once, but the massage boy was straight as quite a few are in Chiang Mai, and was so relieved when I just stayed with the massage. I got a huge and very loving hug when I gave him the normal tip at the end of it all but I don't think the hug was likely to be a prelude to a future relationship.

I've even had the massage guys at the temple massage trying to give me a go.

You must be one ugly dude!

I'm not ugly but thanks for giving me the opportunity to clarify what I wanted to say: this was a straight guy desperate to keep his Speedos on as long as he could, and whose body language at the outset conveyed a heap of conflict about his job in a gay massage place. Money speaks loudly in this country, but so did his feelings about what he was doing.

Maybe we can get back on topic now?

Edited September 14, 2014 by dundas