My partner does not communicate

[theguyfromanotherforum]

hate to tell you this but you dont stay with someone because they are high up on your issues list. Most people stay with their other half because they love each other, without love you basically have nothing. If you want someone to warm your bed fine, but if you want a relationship then you need to change your attitude. Seems to me you simply want company without any other issues raising their heads, maybe you would be better off buying yourself a dog, they are loyal and dont cause any "personal" issues. If you want more find someone you can love.

What do I need to do to change my attitude? I am showing plenty of luv. I am quite lost by this post to be honest. If you are implying that this is a relationship of convenience all I can say that it did not start that way.

Are you suggesting I should settle for any girl as long as we "love" each other? Regardless of her drug habits, financial issues, lies, etc....? Sorry, but I have been around and it simply doesn't work that way. As for a dog as I mentioned earlier I have asthma, so any animal is out of the question.

[ATF]

Maybe now you know why most of the guys marry hookers.

[dagobert]

Stick it out. "dont let this mob bother you" But you did ask for everyones opinion!

[theguyfromanotherforum]

Opinions are appreciated especially the harsh ones. I am juat wondering if anyone has been in the same situation.

[tifino]

the no sex for a long time is something one needs to decide whether to accept or reject. Some time down the track, there may be a time when it is she who makes a move, so make yourself hard to get too. Let her long for something that she can't get...

Wifey had been playing the similar game over the last year or so. Got her to open up a bit (that in itself was a challenge). Turned out that, thanks to her ex, she came to some magical conclusion that she don't like sex. It suddenly come out, and then once thai wife says something profound, in front of witnesses, she has to carry it through, or lose face.

Her daughter, from the Ex, corners mum in sex discussion, and then comes out with 'ERRR, you and he don't do sex do you? what about dad?

Wifey jumped back, "of course not"

We've only had sex twice since then when the girls were not in the house (no need to go into what month back that was eh!!).

female thai minds are wonderfully mysterious

You'll probably will go/have gone through a phase, when you are not allowed to even ask the missus "how are you?"

Husband goes through different roller coaster rides when mixing it with a thai missus.

The silence to husband, yet outwardly passionate about every other bodys existence is something one can take quite a while to get usewd to.

I'm used to it

...and I'll make a point of a kiss good morning, and a kiss goodnight, even though she puts up this wall, that "I lub her too much"

[JDGRUEN]

OP ... I had a relationship experience that parallels your very closely. She has a good job, good benefits,will get retirement benefits, owns a house outright, has a car, a motorcycle. We talked for two years on Skype ... had our ups and downs... Came here - things went just fine for 2 months... then started going downhill rapidly. She began talking about a big house, sin sod... and when I didn't respond as she wanted she began a silent campaign of rejecting me. She could never really talk about exactly what she wanted and would never say what I did offer was good or bad. I found I couldn't negotiate anything because she never revealed much of anything...

She began faking not liking sex and amazingly said one day that I could go travel over Thailand meet some of my American friends and a year later I could come back and we could get married. And I said - well - what about you hating sex - that is makes you sick and you hurt for weeks at a time ? What about that - how do we get around that? She answered - 'it will be fine - no problem after we get married and build house and have sin sot... WOW!!! It took me 10 minutes to get my dropped jaw back closed... Wow!

Earlier I said (about sin sot / sod) that not wanting to be harsh but sin sot for a previously married woman of age 49 is not really on the table... and if it was I would present it (here in modern Thailand) and your family would return it after the wedding -- and we could use it for the furnishing the house or what ever... She answered no -- the money is for me - I keep it...

I packed my things and left after 2.5 months of living with her... as she got much worse in her manipulation and near vengeful actions... We were never able to reconcile - came close - but the same issues rose up... And to this day she still cannot - will not communicate her inner feelings in any effective way.

I had mistakenly thought that since she had more than what 90% of non hi so women in Thailand have ... at least in the top 10% of everyday Thai female wage earners that my offer of sharing our incomes to build a future would be sufficient ... she wanted no part of working together to build a future - she wanted it NOW - not even next year - but now.

And come to find out via a mutual American friend that she did not believe that I wasn't rich and that I had been lying to her that I was not rich. I have plenty to live on and have a good life in Thailand - but not rich... My friend assured her I was not lying .. this was at about the start of the downhill run. Sharing was just not in her vocabulary.

Needless to say OP that I was greatly disappointed ... but leaving was the only choice... as IMO your g/l is acting very much like mine did ... You will be much better off - if you just go... it is not fixable ...

Edited August 15, 2014 by JDGRUEN

[WhamBam]

If she's hot, I'll take her of your hands, I don't care about talking. Actually I prefer they shut up all the time.

Hot but not allowed to touch. That sounds like a recipe for a 'Mia Noi' to me or regular trips to the massage parlour for happy endings

[kannot]

Take this short survey for the answer

1 is your partner a woman?

2 if answer to 1 is YES that is your answer, do not proceed any further.

[tifino]

...that 'want it now' thing, a couple of Posts back.

I've only got 16 weeks till Super withdrawal time - Yay!!

yeah but missus wants to buy a Louis Vuitton bag - NOW...

... even though we'll be free of 2 mortgages, and over AU$120000 left over in December...

...I'm still in the poop

and loving it

[rijb]

1. It's about the money.

2. It's always about the money.

3. If you still don't get it, see 1 and 2.

[David48]

OP ... do you co-inhabit (live together) 24/7?

.

[slipperylobster]

She might want better sex than you are giving...as you are not into it. Take her to some naughty places, take her dancing and let her dress a bit naughty. Have some parties with a few swingers....try a threesome.....

You got a good deal...do not blow it... (let her do that)

[Cypress Hill]

1. It's about the money.

2. It's always about the money.

3. If you still don't get it, see 1 and 2.

Well clearly we don't need to ask what profession your Thai women are in, do we?

Anyway, OP, I'm surprised no one's rolled this one out yet because it's so obvious :

You're asking for advice on relationships and how you might better empathise with your woman on a forum that - FOR THE MOST PART - is home to a large number of men who've never had the first clue about women.

These are the kind of guys who genuinely believe that a woman has no business saying, "I'm not in the mood".

These are the kind of guys for whom such utterances are an affront to their "manhood"

These are the kind of guys who actually believe they're being altruistic by not demanding sex while a woman is menstruating. (Yes, I know a lot of women feel libidinous at that time, but just as many don't)

These guys are here because - to a large extent - they can buy female deference and pliancy.

If you look for advice in the trash, you're going to get garbage.

[frollywolly]

1. It's about the money.

2. It's always about the money.

3. If you still don't get it, see 1 and 2.

Well clearly we don't need to ask what profession your Thai women are in, do we?

Anyway, OP, I'm surprised no one's rolled this one out yet because it's so obvious :

You're asking for advice on relationships and how you might better empathise with your woman on a forum that - FOR THE MOST PART - is home to a large number of men who've never had the first clue about women.

These are the kind of guys who genuinely believe that a woman has no business saying, "I'm not in the mood".

These are the kind of guys for whom such utterances are an affront to their "manhood"

These are the kind of guys who actually believe they're being altruistic by not demanding sex while a woman is menstruating. (Yes, I know a lot of women feel libidinous at that time, but just as many don't)

These guys are here because - to a large extent - they can buy female deference and pliancy.

If you look for advice in the trash, you're going to get garbage.

Sounds like most of these guys are your best buddies, you know them so well

[frollywolly]

OP,

IME, when a Thai lady says 'she is bored', the word can mean a dozen different things. Usually they say 'bored' just because their vocabulary is limited and 'bored' covers a wide range of emotions.

As for not communicating. her not talking is communicating with you , just you don't know how to read the signs

[ebean001]

I have no idea what you talk about but thais do not like to think and know very little about the world - and could care less. She knows English but when you speak too fast her mind goes into a spin. they cannot keep up. they get a headache. They want to run away because the talking is too much. This is the main reason you need to go out to the bar occassionally - maybe 2 times a week and by yourself. Find a farang(s) and talk your head off. He has the same problem.

[rijb]

1. It's about the money.

2. It's always about the money.

3. If you still don't get it, see 1 and 2.

Well clearly we don't need to ask what profession your Thai women are in, do we?

Anyway, OP, I'm surprised no one's rolled this one out yet because it's so obvious :

You're asking for advice on relationships and how you might better empathise with your woman on a forum that - FOR THE MOST PART - is home to a large number of men who've never had the first clue about women.

These are the kind of guys who genuinely believe that a woman has no business saying, "I'm not in the mood".

These are the kind of guys for whom such utterances are an affront to their "manhood"

These are the kind of guys who actually believe they're being altruistic by not demanding sex while a woman is menstruating. (Yes, I know a lot of women feel libidinous at that time, but just as many don't)

These guys are here because - to a large extent - they can buy female deference and pliancy.

If you look for advice in the trash, you're going to get garbage.

Why are you digging through the trash?

Looking for money?

[JAFO]

OP, firstly you are contendibg with normal woman / man relationship woes most experience. This issue only gets worse when you have language barriers and find out after time you have different desires. I did not read what your age gap is but this also plays a HUGE role in communication issues.

Whike it's hard to offer advice to other people relationship situations it sounds like a good trip somewhere to talk it out is in order. Change up the environment. Ask what she is looking for. Be honest with yourself. Keep in mind this just may not be right. Don't force it. Relationships are supposed to flow.

Good Luck

[JLCrab]

But some guys just get along swell with the females Thai or otherwise through an abundant amount of personality.

[NanLaew]

1. It's about the money.

2. It's always about the money.

3. If you still don't get it, see 1 and 2.

Well clearly we don't need to ask what profession your Thai women are in, do we?

Anyway, OP, I'm surprised no one's rolled this one out yet because it's so obvious :

You're asking for advice on relationships and how you might better empathise with your woman on a forum that - FOR THE MOST PART - is home to a large number of men who've never had the first clue about women.

These are the kind of guys who genuinely believe that a woman has no business saying, "I'm not in the mood".

These are the kind of guys for whom such utterances are an affront to their "manhood"

These are the kind of guys who actually believe they're being altruistic by not demanding sex while a woman is menstruating. (Yes, I know a lot of women feel libidinous at that time, but just as many don't)

These guys are here because - to a large extent - they can buy female deference and pliancy.

If you look for advice in the trash, you're going to get garbage.

After pointing out why nobody here can give any meaningful advice, do you have any meaningful advice?

I mean you allude to having read the book, "What Men Need to Know About Women" in fact, you could be the author no?

[jomcondo]

she might be into other girls.

sometimes they try a man for a while but their heart isn't in it.

[slipperylobster]

But some guys just get along swell with the females Thai or otherwise through an abundant amount of personality.

Personality works good in Thailand, but in the Philippines you better have Peso-nality.

[JLCrab]

But some guys just get along swell with the females Thai or otherwise through an abundant amount of personality.

Personality works good in Thailand, but in the Philippines you better have Peso-nality.

I remember years back this type conversation in the USA:

Friend: Would you like to go out on a date with so-&-so's sister-in-law?

Me: Well what does she look like?

Friend: She has a wonderful personality.

[richardathuahin]

Sounds to me as though you are 'on show'. Thais are considered one status up if they have a farang in tow. You're an ornament to show her friends by the sound of it

[choochoo]

What part of BORING do you guys not understand.

She speaks volumes-as usual a lot of you NOT LISTEN!

Op should negotiate a fee for leaving.....................lol.

Edited August 15, 2014 by choochoo

[John1thru10]

I've had 2 long term gf's here over 5 years. The first was a chatterbox, and we developed our own language based around different definitions. It took an amount of caring to be able to communicate well, because we wanted to.

The 2nd was very (very) quiet for long periods. But we developed a language together as well. You both have to really want to, and then it's more than possible to communicate well. If she really doesn't want to try talking with you, then...

[manarak]

It's not working.... yes.

Moving on is sometimes tricky. You think you will find better then you discover 10 different issues you didn't have with a previous girlfriend. I am thinking now that I am in Thailand what crap I am going to have to deal with if I "move on". Crap like girl in debt, girl sending money to her family, girl cheating, lazy gf with no job, stupid, worrying about STD's, etc..... I have none if these problems with my current girl.

Communication is a big issue for me, though.

You need to learn to accept that it doesn't work and to move on indeed.

"plenty of other fish".

The situation here is luckily one where men don't have to accept too much compromise and settle for the next best in fear of finding nobody later to spend the time together...

[Fullstop]

Hi Buddhas! The never ending love life sagas continue, eh?

Edited August 15, 2014 by Fullstop

[manarak]

It's not working.... yes.

Moving on is sometimes tricky. You think you will find better then you discover 10 different issues you didn't have with a previous girlfriend. I am thinking now that I am in Thailand what crap I am going to have to deal with if I "move on". Crap like girl in debt, girl sending money to her family, girl cheating, lazy gf with no job, stupid, worrying about STD's, etc..... I have none if these problems with my current girl.

Communication is a big issue for me, though.

You need to learn to accept that it doesn't work and to move on indeed.

"plenty of other fish".

The situation here is luckily one where men don't have to accept too much compromise and settle for the next best in fear of finding nobody later to spend the time together...

[kleelof]

It's not working.... yes.

Moving on is sometimes tricky. You think you will find better then you discover 10 different issues you didn't have with a previous girlfriend. I am thinking now that I am in Thailand what crap I am going to have to deal with if I "move on". Crap like girl in debt, girl sending money to her family, girl cheating, lazy gf with no job, stupid, worrying about STD's, etc..... I have none if these problems with my current girl.

Communication is a big issue for me, though.

Have you considered NOT MOVING ON TO ANOTHER WOMAN? Maybe you should enjoy things alone for a while instead of trying to jump in to another relationship.