TGAUs in Russia

[tonytigerbkk]

Good evening my fellow comrades and Costa.

Today TigerClaw Industries held their annual Russian board meeting in Saint Petersburg.

At this year’s meeting it was announced that the TGAU will be launched onto the Eastern European market on National Gerbil Day 2015 (3^rd July 2015).

However, the TGAU to be launched into the Eastern European market will be the non-automatic version (Warsaw Pact Standard) but the option of the double barrel TGAU will be an available option.

The only other business on the agenda was the introduction of Honey Badger Cheese into Russia but unfortunately our milking expert decided to take a short forced holiday, so he was unable to deliver his presentation.

After the meeting was over, the delegation of TGI directors were transported in their fleet of stretch limousines to the best fine dining establishment of this city (we have not been able to locate an MK restaurant yet).

Anyway, I have to sign off now as I’m meeting with an old friend (named Dave Waltski), who is an ex member of the Spetsnaz and he want to show me his collection of medals.

[mrtoad]

Looks like an exciting year ahead for TGAUs.

Do you feel given the announcement to day if the PE problem in a Thailand that The TGAU will be pushed deeper into the Thai market. I hear Bumrungrad were interested??

[ATF]

I expect Dave Waltski like any good Special Forces Operator also has a secret stash of ears and male genitalia from his conquests.

Strictly against Warsaw Pact and Geneva Convention or course. If you ask him nicely you may get a look.

[mrtoad]

Did Dr Will present, or was he too busy with his caseload?

[Soutpeel]

Did Dr Will present, or was he too busy with his caseload?

I am sorry to report that Costas sent Zuma to Dr Will for some counselling in an attempt to address some of his repressed angers issues, and Zuma accidently bit off Dr Will's testicles and ate them...

[ATF]

The TGAU and GERU are under consideration for deployment in Ukraine I understand?

[tonytigerbkk]

The TGAU and GERU are under consideration for deployment in Ukraine I understand?

Are you suggesting Gerbil Kiev?

[ATF]

The TGAU and GERU are under consideration for deployment in Ukraine I understand?

Are you suggesting Gerbil Kiev?

Gerbilkrieg!

[kurtramsbottom]

Another circle jerk

[tonytigerbkk]

Only the Ruskies would have CCTV monitoring the McDonnaldski restaurant.

The 24hr supermarket that is attached to the hotel has 5 whole rows dedicated to alcohol (yes that is 5 as in 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 whole rows), in fact the hotel has 2 x 24 hour bars but no cable TV, the place is <deleted> crazy.

[mrtoad]

I see trannysbottom. Has arrived to grace us with his wisdom.

[tonytigerbkk]

Another circle jerk

As apposed to a Mr. Kurt ramming your bottom?

Edited September 2, 2014 by tonytigerbkk

[tonytigerbkk]

Another circle jerk

Son, we live in a world that has walls, and those walls have to be guarded by men with TGAU’s. Who's gonna do it? You? You, Lieutenant Kurtramsbottom? I have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom. You weep for Dave The Walt and you curse TigerClaw Industries. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know, that Dave The Walt's death, while tragic, probably saved lives. And my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves lives! You don't want the truth, because deep down in places you don't talk about at parties, you want me on that TGAU production line. You need me on that TGAU production line. We use words like "Patpong", "Nana", "Cowboy". We use these words as the backbone of a life spent defending something. You use them as a punchline. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very freedom that I provide, and then questions the manner in which I provide it! I would rather you just said "thank you", and went on your way. Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a TGAU, and stand waiting for Richard Gere. Either way, I don't give a damn what you think you are entitled to!

[David48]

Another circle jerk

Lighten up ... 'tis but a bit of a lark.

I encourage larking.

Meanwhile ... back to that grindstone ... I have a nose to rub.

.

[Soutpeel]

Another circle jerk

Son, we live in a world that has walls, and those walls have to be guarded by men with TGAU’s. Who's gonna do it? You? You, Lieutenant Kurtramsbottom? I have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom. You weep for Dave The Walt and you curse TigerClaw Industries. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know, that Dave The Walt's death, while tragic, probably saved lives. And my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves lives! You don't want the truth, because deep down in places you don't talk about at parties, you want me on that TGAU production line. You need me on that TGAU production line. We use words like "Patpong", "Nana", "Cowboy". We use these words as the backbone of a life spent defending something. You use them as a punchline. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very freedom that I provide, and then questions the manner in which I provide it! I would rather you just said "thank you", and went on your way. Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a TGAU, and stand waiting for Richard Gere. Either way, I don't give a damn what you think you are entitled to!

Inspirational words Comrade Tony

Thank you for your service

[Costas2008]

привет, comrade Tony (that's, hello, for the benefit of the illiterate, non Russian, speakers)

I wasn't feeling very gay, last night, after I was given a "Code Red", ordered by my superior officers.

But after reading your very inspirational post, made me understand and appreciate the need and obligation to defend our beautiful Reck Thum, the place we live.

I do understand my officers, as their only concern is to guard our Reck Thum, so the other citizens, can sleep in peace, being sure that their country is guarded by brave men.

Reading your other post about the Supermarkets having 5 rows of alcohol, wasn't very impressed.

In my idle time, last night, I opened my private fridge (very well guarded, by a thick chain and 3 padlocks) and to my delight, I found that there were 4 rows full of alcohol in there ( Sorry only got 4 not 5)

So eat your hearts out, Russian Supermarkets.

Comrade Tony, please, come back soon.

Zuma is missing you very much, he really wants to play again with your colourful balls.

At the moment, he is keeping company to Mr Soutpeel, and I hope the gentleman will not harm him as he did with my gerbil Tim.

видеть Вас в ближайшее время (That means see you soon, non Russian speakers)

[StreetCowboy]

 

Another circle jerk

Lighten up ... 'tis but a bit of a lark.

I encourage larking.

Meanwhile ... back to that grindstone ... I have a nose to rub.

.

 

I don't have time to rub my nose, what with all the chortling with glee and anticipation, and rubbing my hands to boot.

St Helens - Warrington and Wigan Leeds this weekend at the top of the table all-knows goodness what for you chaps in the middle.

SC

[tonytigerbkk]

So today we went on a tour of the City and one of the members of the board saw this billboard of the world class entertainer who is named Jamie Oliver

This confused me somewhat, as I thought that all of the twots were in Khao San Road.

[tonytigerbkk]

привет, comrade Tony (that's, hello, for the benefit of the illiterate, non Russian, speakers)

I wasn't feeling very gay, last night, after I was given a "Code Red", ordered by my superior officers.

But after reading your very inspirational post, made me understand and appreciate the need and obligation to defend our beautiful Reck Thum, the place we live.

I do understand my officers, as their only concern is to guard our Reck Thum, so the other citizens, can sleep in peace, being sure that their country is guarded by brave men.

Reading your other post about the Supermarkets having 5 rows of alcohol, wasn't very impressed.

In my idle time, last night, I opened my private fridge (very well guarded, by a thick chain and 3 padlocks) and to my delight, I found that there were 4 rows full of alcohol in there ( Sorry only got 4 not 5)

So eat your hearts out, Russian Supermarkets.

Comrade Tony, please, come back soon.

Zuma is missing you very much, he really wants to play again with your colourful balls.

At the moment, he is keeping company to Mr Soutpeel, and I hope the gentleman will not harm him as he did with my gerbil Tim.

видеть Вас в ближайшее время (That means see you soon, non Russian speakers)

My dearest Mr. Costas,,

I feel that I need to explain to you that the five rows of alohol were in fact 5 aisles and not rows (I apologize for my poor use of the English languagey thingy), so it is in fact 10 rows.

Now do you see why I was so shocked, even Chalerm’s medicine cabinet does not hold that much alcohol.

This afternoon Mr. C, we were at ‘Catherine Palace’, which was the summer residence of the Russian Tsars and in the gardens were statues of Greek gods, goddesses and famous Greeks.

So Mr. C, if you are the Greek god that you have led everyone to believe why did the board members of TGI not see your statue on the grounds?

[ATF]

So today we went on a tour of the City and one of the members of the board saw this billboard of the world class entertainer who is named Jamie Oliver

This confused me somewhat, as I thought that all of the twots were in Khao San Road.

How the mighty have fallen. Jamie reduced to beetroot bashing in Russia. Maybe a complimentary TGAU would be in order.

Please explain how maybe aisles of alcohol contained only vodka? Four?

[tonytigerbkk]

Hi ATF,

Quite surprisingly only one aisle of Vodka but they do have a very impressive range.

Tried to get some photos of the alco range but 2 very big gentlemen pointed out that I should put my camera away, so not wanting to do a tour of the Gulag camps, I obliged.

[mrtoad]

Did you see any Walts?

[tonytigerbkk]

No but I did join the local Spetsnaz and issued myself a medal for the freedom of the city of Saint Petersburg.

I tried to buy some medals from the Walt medal shop but some guy called Dave had already been there and bought up their entire stock.

[Costas2008]

Hey Tony, they look a little queer those statues.

We Greeks are famous for our braviness and services to the elite Special forces.

Not like some others that they like to pretend they served under the tough regime of the SAS.

But as the Bible says..........forgive and will be forgiven.........they don't know what are they going on about.

[Soutpeel]

No but I did join the local Spetsnaz and issued myself a medal for the freedom of the city of Saint Petersburg.

I tried to buy some medals from the Walt medal shop but some guy called Dave had already been there and bought up their entire stock.

I did hear through the grape vine, that Thailand Walt 22 SAS mobility troop are in the market for gas masks, nomex wife beaters, camo shorts/flip flops and white socks emblazened with the "who Dares Wins" motto as they are planning an operation

Contact their CO Dave Walt for more information...

[tonytigerbkk]

Hey Tony, they look a little queer those statues.

We Greeks are famous for our braviness and services to the elite Special forces.

Not like some others that they like to pretend they served under the tough regime of the SAS.

But as the Bible says..........forgive and will be forgiven.........they don't know what are they going on about.

Ah Mr. Dances With Badgers, the statues that I posted are of a couple of Greek bints (Perseus & Andromeda) but there were geezers in the other areas of the garden.

Just of the top of my head I recall seeing statues of Socrates, Plato, Aristotle, Archimedes, Alexander the Great and Harry Enfield.

[PhuketAmerican]

what the <deleted> is all of this

blathering

[ATF]

what the <deleted> is all of this

blathering

As Lyndon Johnson said you're either outside the tent urinating in or inside the the tent urinating out.

[David48]

what the <deleted> is all of this

blathering

I think the correct terminology is ' blethering '

Are we allowed to say that? ...

.

[Soutpeel]

what the <deleted> is all of this

blathering

If you dont understand you are obviously not at one with your TGAU, Contact CW Industries for this seasons catalog, ([email protected]) believe they are doing a "camo/urban combat" range of TGAU's this season for the Thailands Walt special forces members and the colonial cousins...