Is this a real relationship or have I bought a girlfriend?

[chiang mai]

I only read the first page of posts, from which the OP should have his answer, the vast majority of people support his actions, as do I, well done and don't let the (inevitable) detractors in subsequent pages make you change your mind.

[Sigurris]

Since I started this thread clear in my mind about my actions and hers I have read nothing to change my opinion.

Just so we are clear she is not ugly or fat. She has no children or Thai man in the background. I believe her when she says she wants to work and improve herself. I also believe that she wants to be with me and that is with me as the whole package (which includes a much nicer lifestyle to the one she is used to and me).

She once more proved her work ethic and commitment yesterday. She has just landed a very nice job very close to home starting the beginning of next month. It pays significantly more than her hotel job doing pretty much the same thing but the hours are 10-6, 6 days a week. What is even better is her new employers (farang) are supporting her desire to learn English so she will continue her course which ends in November and work reduced hours (same pay) until that finishes. They benefit from her English and she does too. A win win. So my financial commitment will end very soon and we will see what happens.

As I said before this is early days but I am hopeful. I shall revisit this with an upate at the end of the year with a 6 month update. As always I will be totally honest so if she is only after money you will be told.

[Aree Wongwanlee]

Since I started this thread clear in my mind about my actions and hers I have read nothing to change my opinion.

Just so we are clear she is not ugly or fat. She has no children or Thai man in the background. I believe her when she says she wants to work and improve herself. I also believe that she wants to be with me and that is with me as the whole package (which includes a much nicer lifestyle to the one she is used to and me).

She once more proved her work ethic and commitment yesterday. She has just landed a very nice job very close to home starting the beginning of next month. It pays significantly more than her hotel job doing pretty much the same thing but the hours are 10-6, 6 days a week. What is even better is her new employers (farang) are supporting her desire to learn English so she will continue her course which ends in November and work reduced hours (same pay) until that finishes. They benefit from her English and she does too. A win win. So my financial commitment will end very soon and we will see what happens.

As I said before this is early days but I am hopeful. I shall revisit this with an upate at the end of the year with a 6 month update. As always I will be totally honest so if she is only after money you will be told.

Right on, my good man. Live one day at a time. Thinking too much about the future had never made it any better. The future has always had a mind of its own and it will do what it wants to no matter how much we want to think about it.

[lapd]

Just so we are clear she is not ugly or fat. She has no children or Thai man in the background.

Read that again to yourself very carefully and think about it. If that is the case she will likely have opportunities become available to her from younger guys who have more to offer financially. The other scenario I see happen ALL the time is they keep Thai guys on the side. Yea...I know what you are thinking...she probably told you she does not like Thai men......right? How do I know that? Because they ALL say that. Yet there are endless stories of Thai girls with farang sponsors (like what you may be now or eventually become in her mind) and Thai boyfriends the farang does not know about who end up getting a good portion of the money the farang pays her. Better yet, there are often other farangs that Thai girls keep as boy toys while having other guys sponsor them.

Wonder how many guys on here are willing to admit they are that other guy. Sleeping in her bed when that call comes in on European/American time and she tells you to be quiet. If the guy lives in country obviously the logistics are more difficult but still happens all the time.

I don't need to hear any more about the situation you are explaining and how you think she is being ambitious. I know plenty of girls like that that change jobs all the time. Yes including educated girls that work in hotels. Like I said, if you want to know how important the money part is to this equation just stop paying her (including the bills etc.) and you will find out rather quickly. No matter how important you think you are to her, 95% of the time the most important things in her life are 1) your money, 2) her family, 3) her friends 4) if you are lucky you fall in here before her pets and her thai boyfriend.

A lot of guys confuse their moneys importance in the girls life with their importance in her life. I don't care how much you think she likes you. You will NEVER be more important to a Thai girl than her family. Even if the father abused her, the mother pimped her, the brothers are jobless drunks who only ask for money etc. They will still be more important to her than you will. If you told me she was an orphan then I might be inclined to say she's a keeper because then you have a shot at being #2 behind her friends. Or if she has no friends then congratulations...you hit the jackpot. An orphan Thai girl who is such a bad person she does not have friends. A real 'gem' as some posters here would say.

[lapd]

I re-read the title of this thread.

Your title is "is this a real relationship or have I bought a girlfriend?"

The answer at this stage is probably both. In Thailand and I presume in Asia in general, there is often no separation of those two things like there is in the west. A lot of westerners have trouble understanding this which is probably the source of much of the confusion, misinterpretation, and/or cynicism that develops because of it.

It could go either way from there. It could go towards a real relationship (by western standards) or towards a purely financial arrangement. Or maybe it stays at a traditional (by asian standards) real relationship where the financial component is an integral part.

[kirstymelb101]

Only time can tell..

[ABCer]

OP, I must admit I have only read first page of about 23 posts. Forgive me if I am asking what was discussed.

Everybody is sending congrats on your luck in view of 55/30 arrangement.

What I would like to know is your education/her education levels.

Are you on par in this department?

Because when you perfect your Thai and she perfects her English what are you going to talk about? I don't mean in bed.

As to your OP, - I think you know the answer. You can be congratulated on a cheap buy, provided you know about her all there is to know.

[AnotherOneAmerican]

OP, I must admit I have only read first page of about 23 posts. Forgive me if I am asking what was discussed.

Everybody is sending congrats on your luck in view of 55/30 arrangement.

What I would like to know is your education/her education levels.

Are you on par in this department?

Because when you perfect your Thai and she perfects her English what are you going to talk about? I don't mean in bed.

As to your OP, - I think you know the answer. You can be congratulated on a cheap buy, provided you know about her all there is to know.

What do you talk to women about?

[chiang mai]

OP, I must admit I have only read first page of about 23 posts. Forgive me if I am asking what was discussed.

Everybody is sending congrats on your luck in view of 55/30 arrangement.

What I would like to know is your education/her education levels.

Are you on par in this department?

Because when you perfect your Thai and she perfects her English what are you going to talk about? I don't mean in bed.

As to your OP, - I think you know the answer. You can be congratulated on a cheap buy, provided you know about her all there is to know.

My American wife had two degrees, was well travelled and very well read, my current Thai wife has none of things. Conversation with the latter is much more preferable and enjoyable, stimulating even.

[PaulHamon]

Her English, read this carefully, will NEVER get any better than it is right now.

what rubbish... my wife's English has changed massively in the past 7 years.

she can how talk to foreigners from all over the world over the phone....

when we met we had a problem chatting face-2-face.

[kirstymelb101]

Her English, read this carefully, will NEVER get any better than it is right now.

what rubbish... my wife's English has changed massively in the past 7 years.

she can how talk to foreigners from all over the world over the phone....

when we met we had a problem chatting face-2-face.

I agree. My cousin who's working in Pattaya now (unfortunately) could not speak a work on English two years ago, now her English is almost perfect..

[forumuser10]

Just so we are clear she is not ugly or fat. She has no children or Thai man in the background.

Read that again to yourself very carefully and think about it. If that is the case she will likely have opportunities become available to her from younger guys who have more to offer financially. The other scenario I see happen ALL the time is they keep Thai guys on the side. Yea...I know what you are thinking...she probably told you she does not like Thai men......right? How do I know that? Because they ALL say that. Yet there are endless stories of Thai girls with farang sponsors (like what you may be now or eventually become in her mind) and Thai boyfriends the farang does not know about who end up getting a good portion of the money the farang pays her. Better yet, there are often other farangs that Thai girls keep as boy toys while having other guys sponsor them.

Wonder how many guys on here are willing to admit they are that other guy. Sleeping in her bed when that call comes in on European/American time and she tells you to be quiet. If the guy lives in country obviously the logistics are more difficult but still happens all the time.

I don't need to hear any more about the situation you are explaining and how you think she is being ambitious. I know plenty of girls like that that change jobs all the time. Yes including educated girls that work in hotels. Like I said, if you want to know how important the money part is to this equation just stop paying her (including the bills etc.) and you will find out rather quickly. No matter how important you think you are to her, 95% of the time the most important things in her life are 1) your money, 2) her family, 3) her friends 4) if you are lucky you fall in here before her pets and her thai boyfriend.

A lot of guys confuse their moneys importance in the girls life with their importance in her life. I don't care how much you think she likes you. You will NEVER be more important to a Thai girl than her family. Even if the father abused her, the mother pimped her, the brothers are jobless drunks who only ask for money etc. They will still be more important to her than you will. If you told me she was an orphan then I might be inclined to say she's a keeper because then you have a shot at being #2 behind her friends. Or if she has no friends then congratulations...you hit the jackpot. An orphan Thai girl who is such a bad person she does not have friends. A real 'gem' as some posters here would say.

When I did not have a GF, I dated quite a lot of Thai girls, and yes it happened a few times, someone would call from another country, while we were still in bed, and she told me to be quite.

[thailiketoo]

When I did not have a GF, I dated quite a lot of Thai girls, and yes it happened a few times, someone would call from another country, while we were still in bed, and she told me to be quite.

And you were quiet? Why?

[JLCrab]

When I did not have a GF, I dated quite a lot of Thai girls, and yes it happened a few times, someone would call from another country, while we were still in bed, and she told me to be quite.

And you were quiet? Why?

Another advantage of having a girl friend who doesn't speak English as the guys who would call from another country usually -- but certainly not always -- cannot have a conversation in Thai. Quite rightly.