AnotherOneAmerican Posted September 26, 2014 Share Posted September 26, 2014 (edited) So according to your professional advice. Married with a jointly owned 1 milion pound bank account. The husband can get a check made out to cash and hide the cash. Then in divorce court can legally say he has no assets? And wife has no claim against him? Nice try though. I had a client do just that, she took the money out in cash, later when asked, claimed she had a gambling problem. Totally legal, no comeback on her, part of the foolishness of joint bank accounts. First come, first serve. (Best to do it before the divorce papers are filed, though) PS In the Uk one nice little game, is to file for divorce with no intention of doing it. Adds a 3-6 month delay while you hide assets. So you file for divorce ASAP (first one to file has control, need marriage certificate to file) String it out to the Decree NISI hearing, appear in court, claim to deep seated religious beliefs you can't go through with divorce. Judge/Magistrate won't like it but has to dismiss case, (judge not permitted to give marriage certificate to other party). Other party then needs to obtain new marriage certificate (don't give 'em the one you used), then needs to file for divorce. Good little trick often missed by less competent lawyers/solicitors. PPS Did I mention, I only represent women in divorce, I like to win. Men are screwed from the get go. Edited September 26, 2014 by AnotherOneAmerican Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
transam Posted September 26, 2014 Share Posted September 26, 2014 Sorry to hear this mate, whish you and your daughter all the luck in the next coming difficult time. I would first freeze all bankaccounts which are in shared name to prevent her from gaining as much as possible from you. You would know so and about how much money she has in her own accounts, does she work etc? Try to buy yourself some time by cutting of the finances (your finances in a legal way of course). Change the locks from your house, I don't know about her mental state but with all the scaring recent stories of late, consider a different school for your daughter? This could all be done today and tomorrow, see a solicitor/lawyer as others recommended and get try to keep your own life together. Again, good luck. If your wife is living at the house you can not just chuck her out that would be unlawful... If she leaves voluntarily then OK, but changing the locks a big no-no, it is considered illegal eviction. Can your husband, wife or civil partner evict you? You will have rights to stay if you are the legal owner of your home or if you are a tenant. Even if you are not an owner or a tenant you will have rights to stay if you have been asked to leave by your husband, wife, or civil partner. In these situations only a court could order you to leave your home. The court would be unlikely to order this unless you have been violent to your partner. http://england.shelter.org.uk/get_advice/homelessness/whats_your_situation/homeless_if_evicted_or_asked_to_leave If your Mrs leaves then she has left the Marital home. I changed the locks after consulting my solicitor......Nooo probs....Must add, was my now ex UK wife......... 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnotherOneAmerican Posted September 26, 2014 Share Posted September 26, 2014 (edited) If your Mrs leaves then she has left the Marital home. I changed the locks after consulting my solicitor......Nooo probs....Must add, was my now ex UK wife......... Absolutely right, But that won't stop her getting you out with an emergency family court hearing (if she has a child with you). (1-2 weeks for the hearing slot, then 2-4 weeks to allow you to find somewhere else to live) If she wants. Edited September 26, 2014 by AnotherOneAmerican Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
transam Posted September 26, 2014 Share Posted September 26, 2014 If your Mrs leaves then she has left the Marital home. I changed the locks after consulting my solicitor......Nooo probs....Must add, was my now ex UK wife......... Absolutely right, But that won't stop her getting you out with an emergency family court hearing (if she has a child with you). (1-2 weeks for the hearing slot, then 2-4 weeks to allow you to find somewhere else to live) If she wants. Luckily I had noooooo kids in tow.... As I said earlier, plant a seed with UK immigration about her plans, it will be noted on record. These women think they have it sorted but you can make it difficult for them. My chum did it.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnotherOneAmerican Posted September 26, 2014 Share Posted September 26, 2014 As I said earlier, plant a seed with UK immigration about her plans, it will be noted on record. These women think they have it sorted but you can make it difficult for them. My chum did it.... As long as she has an income of 18k6/pa, as a UK citizen she can bring in a foreign spouse. Nothing anyone can do about it. I'm thinking your chums misses wasn't married to him for 13 years, which sort of does away with the conspiracy theory. (If only 3-4 years marriage, then he could give it a go, but 13 years, no way) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
7by7 Posted September 26, 2014 Share Posted September 26, 2014 (edited) As said previously, but missed, ignored or misinterpreted by some, she is a British citizen so she has as much right to live in the UK as any other British citizen.Even if she were not a British citizen and only held ILR, she could still remain in the UK following divorce.The Home Office and UKVI are not going to be interested in her; don't waste your time 'reporting' her to them.Unless you can prove that her intention all along was to divorce you and marry her Thai boyfriend so he could move to the UK with her and so she obtained her visa, ILR and then British citizenship by deception.But after 13 years of marriage to you that's going to be very difficult to prove. If that was her intention all along the obvious question is that as she could obtain British citizenship after living in the UK for just 3 years, why has she waited a further 10?!She also has as much right as any other British citizen to sponsor a visa applicant. But if she wants her boyfriend to live in the UK with her he will have to meet all the requirements of the immigration rules; briefly outlined in my previous post.With regard to division of assets, custody etc.; there is no hard and fast rule in the UK. She is not automatically entitled to a fixed percentage of your assets nor to the marital home nor to custody.If you cannot agree on this between you, then the court will decide; taking all relevant factors into consideration.See Money and property when a relationship ends. I think this is for England and Wales. I understand the basic rules are the same in Scotland and Northern Ireland, but the procedure may be different. Consult a solicitor, or if you can't afford one, Citizens Advice.Ditto for custody of the children; Looking after children if you divorce or separate. Edited September 26, 2014 by 7by7 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bobrussell Posted September 26, 2014 Share Posted September 26, 2014 Lots of drivel being posted here! The OP should sort out his relationship in exactly the same way as any other couple with marital problems. This will generally involve mediation before hitting the courts. Usually this will be considered on a no blame basis. My sympathies to the OP, this is not a nice situation for anyone but as has been stated by the sensible posters your wife is legally a British citizen and able to assist with a visa in the same way as any other! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
transam Posted September 26, 2014 Share Posted September 26, 2014 Lots of drivel being posted here! The OP should sort out his relationship in exactly the same way as any other couple with marital problems. This will generally involve mediation before hitting the courts. Usually this will be considered on a no blame basis. My sympathies to the OP, this is not a nice situation for anyone but as has been stated by the sensible posters your wife is legally a British citizen and able to assist with a visa in the same way as any other! We KNOW that, BUT, plant the seed with immigration, if she tries to bring in someone from her homeland then ? will appear. Just do it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lukecan Posted September 26, 2014 Share Posted September 26, 2014 Back in the other thread where some bloke was seeking the help of a Private Investigator to do due diligence on his fiance, people were like " ohhh you should trust her" , "ohhh dont you believe in love" Women, especially thai women, love entertaining multiple dicks, and this thread is a perfect example. Sorry to hear your story OP, if she is a british citizen already she is just as british as you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
volsfan Posted September 26, 2014 Share Posted September 26, 2014 If you were married in Thailand, and have absolute proof of her infidelity, meaning photos and video, then you should consider going back to Thailand (without the kid) and filing for divorce there. At the same time, you can file a civil action against the person she was having the affair with and win damages from him. Your divorce case will be much better for you in Thailand. I would be hesitant to take the child for fear that the family would kidnap and abscond with them. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lukecan Posted September 26, 2014 Share Posted September 26, 2014 As I've said before, Thai women play the long game, they can wait years to get what they want. Get a good lawyer. And whats different with european girls? People grow apart over the years that is normal in every country. You are completely wasting your time trying to convince the TV anti-thias on here that Thai women are the same as any other women in the world !! Thinking like that would deprive them of their daily racist little rants !! Thai women are more likely to commit adultery and be unfaithful in a farang-thai relationship. Why? Because most of the time, the women is better in terms of looks, and is much younger. When a relationship has huge disrepancy, its certain that she is in it for the money and passport. So its very likely she is entertaining multiple dicks while she is in relationship with the ugly/old farang. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
akajack9 Posted September 26, 2014 Author Share Posted September 26, 2014 Yes i have made sure she cannot get any money out of me already, as for being a troll, well dont u think ive got better things to do !! I know that immigration will do nothing, but surely she cant sponsor another fella whilst im still in the house and we are still married, i would like to think not but time will tell. The main thing is not having this other fella over that would just do my head in, especially as she must be thinking that, i doubt very much she pre-planned this just for a 2 week fling whilst on holiday and she didnt give a shit about me and my daughter, when i found out she wouldnt pick up the phone even after i sent her a message saying emergency please pick up, she still ignored it !! i didnt get through until 5 am in the morning uk time, and to say im devastated is an understatement but im just trying to keep it together for my daughter...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liquorice Posted September 26, 2014 Share Posted September 26, 2014 AnotherOneAmerican, on 26 Sept 2014 - 15:16, said: Time Traveller, on 26 Sept 2014 - 13:14, said:khunpa, on 26 Sept 2014 - 11:54, said:Before starting any separation process or involving lawyers etc., I would start by selling everything I could and hide the cash made from that. Then I would create more debt in both your names, so that the only thing you would share when divorced is debt. khunpa, so you've got fraud and concealing assets. Any more crimes that you would like to add to the sentence?Seriously, do people here think Lawyers are stupid? If you post on a web forum asking how to get back at your wife and the forum is littered with stupidity like, take out loans in your wife's name and sell joint assets and hide the money. You think they won't find out about it? They have this things call subpoenas (or summons) which allows courts to order the disclosure of email records and your web browsing history. I think you will find the UK courts have no interest in recovering hidden cash. If you can get it into notes (under the bed), or a foreign account (don't leave a paper trail, and not in Europe), it's gone and forgotten. There is no penalty from UK family court for hiding assets, as long as you don't commit perjury while doing it. So essentially, sell everything, take the money and hide it, then don't respond to any family court summons. If you don't reply, you have broken no criminal laws. The worst they can do is give her maximum 50% of your pension (which she will get anyway), and award her all other discoverable assets (hopefully by that time none). To add insult to injury, if you are working, you have to pay all your legal fees, and hers as well (can you believe that?). PS I'm a former divorce lawyer (USA), but with experience in UK cases (USA/Brit marriage and divorce). (And I know every dirty trick in the book, to extract all the husband's money and assets, used them all) PPS You can also get out of child maintenance payments, if you give up your current employment NOW. (And don't work in the UK again). Your pension money (or future savings) cannot be used in child maintenance awards, only currently earned income. PPPS Uk is one of the worst countries in the world for divorce settlements, but at least they don't chase you for criminal charges if you're a 'bit naughty'. PPPPS @Time Traveller, I'm certainly not stupid, but I don't work for nothing, and once the assets are gone, she can't pay me, so my advice would be, "cut your losses". Once his money has 'disappeared', she can't afford me, and the case goes away. UK divorce law (family court) is much easier than in the USA, in the USA every state has it's own laws, UK is completely clear cut to lawyers (essentially if she has a kid, man loses everything), but carefully hidden form the general public (men obiously) until it's too late. Maybe the laws have changed a little since you practiced AOA. If married the law states 50/50 irrespective of who paid for what, and who has the mortgage. However circumstances are now taken into account and that can change any awards. If children are involved the Court see's that as the residence of the child and you cannot force either party to sell before the child is 18. The OP also has just as many rights as the woman to take sole custody of the child and stay put in his home. Whoever takes responsibility and custody for the child in a divorce will inevitably be able to remain in the matrimonial home until the child is at least 18, unless they sell it by mutual consent. I wouldn't wish this sort of crap on my worst enemy. My condolences to the OP. On the brighter side she is sure going to regret her past mistakes in the future. It may be her plan to take your son and get what she can, then return to Thailand with new funds and new boyfriend. Without your written permission she cannot take your son out of the UK, so she's fcuked again. Don't feel sorry for her, play hardball, seriously you'll be better off. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bobrussell Posted September 26, 2014 Share Posted September 26, 2014 Just out of interest I have tried to get figures for divorce rates. Not much UK related but Switzerland figures were interesting: In 1999, the divorce rate for domestic marriages (Swiss married to Swiss) in Switzerland were at a record high of 50%. In the same year (1999), marriages with foreigners are comparatively better: Marriages between Swiss and German or Italian women have a comparatively better divorce rate: 40%. Marriages between Brazilian or Thai women and Swiss turned out to be more durable than expected, the divorce rate reached the low rate of 30%. Fantastically low divorce rates were reached at marriages with women from Colombia (20%). Marriages with women from the former USSR reached a rate of 15%; Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
7by7 Posted September 26, 2014 Share Posted September 26, 2014 Lots of drivel being posted here! The OP should sort out his relationship in exactly the same way as any other couple with marital problems. This will generally involve mediation before hitting the courts. Usually this will be considered on a no blame basis. My sympathies to the OP, this is not a nice situation for anyone but as has been stated by the sensible posters your wife is legally a British citizen and able to assist with a visa in the same way as any other! We KNOW that, BUT, plant the seed with immigration, if she tries to bring in someone from her homeland then ? will appear. Just do it. There is no seed to plant. She can sponsor anyone she likes for any type of UK visa and if the criteria for that visa are met it will be issued. UKVI will place any such report from the OP in the circular file. <snip> surely she cant sponsor another fella whilst im still in the house and we are still married As said, she can sponsor anyone for any type of visa. But the criteria need to be met. For a visit, one of those is adequate accommodation; so unless you have a spare room he wouldn't pass this test. Even if you do, he would need permission from the property owner to stay there. Adequate accommodation is also a requirement for settlement. In addition, she would need to meet all the other criteria as already outlined. Forget about her sponsoring him for a visa; settlement aint going to happen while she is still married to and living with you, a visit one is also extremely unlikely in those circumstances. Sort out the relationship and/or divorce. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arthurwait Posted September 26, 2014 Share Posted September 26, 2014 As I understand it is very difficult to get a UK visa . He might not speak English well , what job prospect has he got in Britain ? As suggested , notify the British Consulate that his woman is married to you . Given the circumstances of wanting another man , you might be able to have very favourable divorce terms . Mcdonalds ? Train announcer ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ggt Posted September 26, 2014 Share Posted September 26, 2014 Life is not always fair or end up the way we had anticipated...best to get your act together so that you do not lose most of what you have worked so hard to accumulate...forget the wife and the boyfriend...man up...get on with the task at hand...and do the right thing for your daughter...good luck... 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post WhamBam Posted September 26, 2014 Popular Post Share Posted September 26, 2014 Life is not always fair or end up the way we had anticipated...best to get your act together so that you do not lose most of what you have worked so hard to accumulate...forget the wife and the boyfriend...man up...get on with the task at hand...and do the right thing for your daughter...good luck... Yes, get stuck in now!! Play dirty. Men have a hard enough time hanging onto their assets as it is. You also want to sort custody quickly too. Men do get custody of the children. I got a Custody Care and Control order. That meant no-one could do anything with the child without my permission - but I had to be quick and beat them to it. The one with custody generally gets to keep the house too until the child is old enough. Feel sorry for yourself later. Now be a cunning, nasty b*stard 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnotherOneAmerican Posted September 26, 2014 Share Posted September 26, 2014 (edited) Maybe the laws have changed a little since you practiced AOA. If married the law states 50/50 irrespective of who paid for what, and who has the mortgage. However circumstances are now taken into account and that can change any awards. If children are involved the Court see's that as the residence of the child and you cannot force either party to sell before the child is 18. The OP also has just as many rights as the woman to take sole custody of the child and stay put in his home. Whoever takes responsibility and custody for the child in a divorce will inevitably be able to remain in the matrimonial home until the child is at least 18, unless they sell it by mutual consent. Nope, I keep up with the UK and my home state. If anything UK has got worse for men in the last 3 years. Women are considered always truthful, in family court, if the kid is under 14, woman will usually be awarded home outright. UK law has never divided 50/50, not in the last 15 years anyway, if there is a child involved. I could get the wife, the house and 100% custody in an instant. And block dad from ever seeing the kid again. She just has to play it right. First a trip down the police stn, report she is worried about his mental state, and risk of violence towards her and the kid (touching the girl in an inappropriate way?). Second trip to his local Citizens advice, ask for help (which will block him using it). Third trip to his local doctor, ask for mental trauma help, mention him touching the daughter (which will block him). Fourth, trip to kids school, see headmaster, worried about his mental health (touching the kid). Etc., it's a really easy process. Edited September 26, 2014 by AnotherOneAmerican Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jonmarleesco Posted September 26, 2014 Share Posted September 26, 2014 With the current state of play in the UK immigration service, I should imagine she would be hard pushed to get him a visa of any sort; certainly not a long term one.And if, by 'my shit', you are referring to your UK assets, I doubt that she would have any chance of grabbing those. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aceicol Posted September 26, 2014 Share Posted September 26, 2014 Maybe the laws have changed a little since you practiced AOA. If married the law states 50/50 irrespective of who paid for what, and who has the mortgage. However circumstances are now taken into account and that can change any awards. If children are involved the Court see's that as the residence of the child and you cannot force either party to sell before the child is 18. The OP also has just as many rights as the woman to take sole custody of the child and stay put in his home. Whoever takes responsibility and custody for the child in a divorce will inevitably be able to remain in the matrimonial home until the child is at least 18, unless they sell it by mutual consent. Nope, I keep up with the UK and my home state. If anything UK has got worse for men in the last 3 years. Women are considered always truthful, in family court, if the kid is under 14, woman will usually be awarded home outright. UK law has never divided 50/50, not in the last 15 years anyway, if there is a child involved. I could get the wife, the house and 100% custody in an instant. And block dad from ever seeing the kid again. She just has to play it right. First a trip down the police stn, report she is worried about his mental state, and risk of violence towards her and the kid (touching the girl in an inappropriate way?). Second trip to his local Citizens advice, ask for help (which will block him using it). Third trip to his local doctor, ask for mental trauma help, mention him touching the daughter (which will block him). Fourth, trip to kids school, see headmaster, worried about his mental health (touching the kid). Etc., it's a really easy process. It takes a pretty scummy person to accuse someone they once cared about of being a paedophile. I appreciate they are out there but that has to be one of the lowest things I've ever heard of just to get a better divorce settlement. I'm male so I doubt it would be of any benefit for me to do the same, but I really couldn't live with myself if I did that to someone. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post SteveB2 Posted September 26, 2014 Popular Post Share Posted September 26, 2014 Before starting any separation process or involving lawyers etc., I would start by selling everything I could and hide the cash made from that. Then I would create more debt in both your names, so that the only thing you would share when divorced is debt.khunpa, so you've got fraud and concealing assets. Any more crimes that you would like to add to the sentence?Seriously, do people here think Lawyers are stupid? If you post on a web forum asking how to get back at your wife and the forum is littered with stupidity like, take out loans in your wife's name and sell joint assets and hide the money. You think they won't find out about it? They have this things call subpoenas (or summons) which allows courts to order the disclosure of email records and your web browsing history. I think you will find the UK courts have no interest in recovering hidden cash. If you can get it into notes (under the bed), or a foreign account (don't leave a paper trail, and not in Europe), it's gone and forgotten. There is no penalty from UK family court for hiding assets, as long as you don't commit perjury while doing it. So essentially, sell everything, take the money and hide it, then don't respond to any family court summons. If you don't reply, you have broken no criminal laws. The worst they can do is give her maximum 50% of your pension (which she will get anyway), and award her all other discoverable assets (hopefully by that time none). To add insult to injury, if you are working, you have to pay all your legal fees, and hers as well (can you believe that?). PS I'm a former divorce lawyer (USA), but with experience in UK cases (USA/Brit marriage and divorce). (And I know every dirty trick in the book, to extract all the husband's money and assets, used them all) PPS You can also get out of child maintenance payments, if you give up your current employment NOW. (And don't work in the UK again). Your pension money (or future savings) cannot be used in child maintenance awards, only currently earned income. PPPS Uk is one of the worst countries in the world for divorce settlements, but at least they don't chase you for criminal charges if you're a 'bit naughty'. PPPPS @Time Traveller, I'm certainly not stupid, but I don't work for nothing, and once the assets are gone, she can't pay me, so my advice would be, "cut your losses". Once his money has 'disappeared', she can't afford me, and the case goes away. UK divorce law (family court) is much easier than in the USA, in the USA every state has it's own laws, UK is completely clear cut to lawyers (essentially if she has a kid, man loses everything), but carefully hidden form the general public (men obiously) until it's too late. Top Class reply -AnotherOneAmerican- this is exactly as how UK divorce law and proceedings were independently explained to me in the UK. Further:- -akajak9 - in order for your soon to be x-missus to have the cash to sponsor her boyfriend’s UK visa, she’s going to need money. Lots of it. Now then, if you haven’t worked it out already, the money to sponsor her boyfriend’s visa and their new life together in the UK is going to come from you. She also doesn’t really care about your daughter. The pair of you are just part of her long time business plan. I have sadly seen this type of manipulation many times before. Thus – Khunpa - has the correct idea. It sounds very cold hearted to ensure your own financial future first, however, in the UK this is exactly how most women will be instructed to behave by their solicitors. Lien all assets, freeze all bank accounts – for many men, suddenly discovering that their credit cards don’t work, and that they can’t get any money out of the bank is the first indication they have, that their wife is divorcing them. You – akajak9 - should also seek out legal advice immediately - I took eminent legal advice from a brief in Central London specializing in international divorce cases involving UK citizens (GBP350/hour, 20 years ago) At a risk of being slightly off-topic, but to help gain a better understanding of how things will go during the thrash cash, here's a summary and key points of our 45 minute chat together... Caveat: These recommendations were for the UK, and the advice may well be dated – In the USA for example, far more stricter ‘dead-beat-dads’ rules apply, and the courts can be far more punitive and persistent internationally enforcing judgments through the forced repatriation of high profile cases in order to collect monies that they reckon is owed to the x-wife as alimony or child support. The UK and most other countries don’t have that clout. Read on >>> “Men usually discover too late that divorce is simply a money grabbing exercise. Regardless of what the courts insinuate, children typically only come seriously into the proceedings when used as an instrument to gain financial control over the man – for example, when negotiating child visitation rights. "However, understand that whatever you do, no matter how much you pay, and however bad your wife has been… if your UK resident wife decides to seek custody of your children, then in all likely hood she will get it. You will not only likely lose custody of your children, but you may also end up with very little real influence on how your children are brought up in the future. (These are the words everyone hates to hear, and is the game changer) The following link outlines briefly the current child custody precedence for UK divorce. It gets worse- “if your wife really doesn't want you to see your children, you will need to seek a court order to establish your visitation rights - likely court costs GBP20-30K (1995) for which legal aid is not available for you in this type of case. And… “Thinking of just turning up on her doorstep and asking to see the kids - forget it. You x-wife can easily turn this into a noisy blazing row on the doorstep – the sort in which the neighbors hear the commotion, and open doors to witness her shouting and flailing her arms - it doesn't look good - she can accuse you of harassment and if the police have sufficient evidence to believe her, you can be arrested (Protection from Harassment Act 1997). You will then be given a restraining order, including a command to not go within a certain distance of her person, and/or a location. You now have a criminal record too. Congratulations! “How about your parents wanting to see their grandchildren? Well, if the mother is not happy with them visiting, then they too will also, separately, need to obtain visitation rights through the courts, with the same expensive legal fees as your own. No legal aid available for them too. “Finally, even after obtaining a court order permitting you(and/or the grandparents) to visit your kids, if the kids are not there when you call round to visit (after travelling a great distance across the world for instance), don't expect any UK court to enforce your visitation rights; it isn't going to happen. “So this is what I advise you to do” :- (Solicitors advice to me follows :-) “Keep everything running as smoothly as possible on the home front until steps 1-3 of the following instructions are completed. Do this now.” 1. Liquidize all assets into cash (house, car everything) - take maximum cash loans against everything you can't sell for whatever reason. 2. Close all bank accounts – Withdraw all funds as cash. 3. Stop working. Why? The stress of the divorce has left you without the urge to work anymore. Also, conveniently, No job = no income. That will come in useful during the UK divorce court hearing(s). By now, you have no assets that can have a lien put on them, no bank accounts that can be frozen, and no future income to assess future maintenance/alimony payments against, and most importantly, nothing for your wife's solicitors to extract their legal fees from. Not surprisingly, most solicitors now quickly begin to lose interest. It’s getting too difficult for them. Sure, they can carry out legal procedures to find you, read your emails, browser history copies of bank accounts, credit cards, mobile phone records, etc. But you don’t have any of these. They’re gone. And now (step-4) you’re not in their jurisdiction anymore. Damn! 4.” Leave the UK un-announced and simultaneously start processing your divorce on arrival at pastures new.” (I sent a postcard from the other side of the world. This was the evidence of desertion used in the divorce hearing) “All communications with the court should be via myself. Usually this will require registered Air Mail. Call me (the solicitor) if there is anything urgent. Take your time and enjoy a holiday travelling around several countries” (She suggested either Thailand, Cambodia, Vietnam, Malaysia). “One letter a week of communication with the courts via myself is enough. The choice of countries to rest in while sorting out your divorce should all be an inconveniently long way from the UK, and should be countries that are not co-signatories to the Hague convention on multi-jurisdictional jurisdiction” “If anyone asks, explain that the stress of your divorce has caused you to withdraw from your previous life, and to drift around the 3rd world on a kind of extended sabbatical leave, staying with old friends, looking for a new direction in life, and a new place to live 5. Continue processing the divorce paperwork and politely correspond with any court requests via myself. (Obviously no nasty written replies direct to the court, since that would be contempt of court. Don't do that! 'Not good') 6. You may likely be given a court order to attend your divorce hearing in the UK. Reply promptly and politely that although you want to attend the hearing you have no finances available to pay for the air ticket, and nowhere to stay after arriving in the UK. Request the court to help you with return air ticket/travel/hotel/food costs etc. to attend the hearing. That will go down well, and kind of wraps things up as far as your soon to be x-wife’s legal team is concerned. They’ve lost interest and are done with this finacially dead end case.. 7. In the UK - things now proceed quickly. The divorce hearing completes on grounds of desertion. Time to issuance of divorce ‘decree absolute’ in my case was about 7 months. I’ve been in South east Asia for 20 years – eventually ended up in Thailand.– I now have a new family, new children. A new life. The old UK family refused all informal offers of help, or requests to visit the kids from the children’s grandparents, and I never heard anything from any of them ever again. Total legal costs for me ended up all being included in that initial GBP350/USD500 1 hour chat fee – The 15 minutes of the hour I paid for left after our chat, covered my letter forwarding and replies to the court by the brief’s assistant. 20 years ago, the visitation and custodian rights situation was shocking for divorced dads in the UK. They had practically no rights at all. Things are still bad, but at least people are now taking about this injustice and it’s becoming a political issue. There is a great film starring Pierce Brosnan called ‘Evelyn’ that deals with the subject sensitively as it existed from an Irish perspective in recent history. More info on the current UK situation here:- http://www.express.co.uk/news/uk/300557/Divorced-dads-get-new-rights-to-see-children http://www.fathers-4-justice.org/ My apologies for going slightly off topic on this complex topic. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
akajack9 Posted September 26, 2014 Author Share Posted September 26, 2014 you know i am very glad i started this thread as it has been a world of encouragement and advice, where as the last week has been pure hell for me not knowing whats happening or what to do, roller coaster of emotions even considered moving out of the home just to appease her, but now i have some focus ,i will not be moving out i didnt do this she did and i will not be getting divorced anytime soon either and good luck to that darling i will drag it as long as i can and just be very careful what i say and do from now on as i dont want to give her excuses, she also has no family and friends here now as she has been shunned, and she her main goal is her and her feelings not anybody elses especially our daughters as her reply to this is gonna mess her head up is , she will be alright dont worry i will sort it ! nah i dont think so !! now i will sort it my head is much clearer now thankyou all ,this has been better than talking to family thats for sure !! Thanks again it looks like it gonna be 1 more ride !! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
roath Posted September 26, 2014 Share Posted September 26, 2014 As far as I am aware in extreme cases your British citizanship could be withdrawn I do not think running off with another guy would warrant this. Divorce is always hard but it happens and you have done well to get to 13 years of being together, when it happened to me I looked at it as being the start of a new chapter in a book ,take a trip to a lawyer and file for a divorce for the sake of the children's happiness try and come to an amicable arrangement with your wife good luck for the future ! If you could establish dishonesty with regard to the obtaining of the citizenship (e.g. if cheated on the English test, which used to be quite common before they brought in the more recent stringent checking) the citizenship could be revoked (although if you were aware of this at the time, then obviously that would make you an accessory before/after the fact)..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Richard W Posted September 26, 2014 Share Posted September 26, 2014 She is, whether we and the OP like it or not, a British Citizen, so, again whether we like it or not, she has just as much right as you or I to remain British. (Refutation omitted) Do you think that the Secretary of State is likely to consider that having a bit on the side is seriously prejudicial to the vital interests of the United Kingdom? Well, if Akajack9 is running important operations in MI6 and this is an operation to drive him off the rails, it's just possible To be serious, I was just explaining that theoldgit was wrong when he claimed that Mrs Akajack9 had as much right as me to stay British. Mr Akajack9 probably has more right to remain British than Mrs Akajack9 or, worryingly, the Misses Akajack9. I think it highly unlikely that she could be deprived of British nationality - and it probably wouldn't help the OP if she were. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueSkyCowboy Posted September 27, 2014 Share Posted September 27, 2014 Why even bother. Let her go. Nothing to lose. I never had my dogs on a leash. If they don't want to be with me I don't want them anyway. You played the fool long enough now get a lawyer who can use his head. This things do not just pop up over night. This women think that the grass is greener with a farang and tolerate many things they would not with a Thai man and eventually see the light. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theoldgit Posted September 27, 2014 Share Posted September 27, 2014 She is, whether we and the OP like it or not, a British Citizen, so, again whether we like it or not, she has just as much right as you or I to remain British.(Refutation omitted)Do you think that the Secretary of State is likely to consider that having a bit on the side is seriously prejudicial to the vital interests of the United Kingdom?Well, if Akajack9 is running important operations in MI6 and this is an operation to drive him off the rails, it's just possibleTo be serious, I was just explaining that theoldgit was wrong when he claimed that Mrs Akajack9 had as much right as me to stay British. Mr Akajack9 probably has more right to remain British than Mrs Akajack9 or, worryingly, the Misses Akajack9. I think it highly unlikely that she could be deprived of British nationality - and it probably wouldn't help the OP if she were. OK, maybe me saying that that the OP's wife had has much right to retain her British Citizenship as you and I was not strictly correct, but I was trying to present realistic information whilst maintaining some credibility to the argument that she could lose her UK Citizenship and Passport. I will now re-phrase my point, "She is, whether we and the OP like it or not, a British Citizen, so, again whether we like it or not, she has just as much right as you or I to remain British, providing that it would be conducive to the public good to deprive her her British citizenship status and to do so would not render her stateless; or she obtained her citizenship status through naturalisation, and it would be conducive to the public good to deprive her of her status because she has engaged in conduct “seriously prejudicial” to the UK’s vital interests, and the Home Secretary has reasonable grounds to believe that she could acquire another nationality; or that she acquired her citizenship status through naturalisation or registration, and it was obtained by means of fraud, false representation or concealment of any material fact". So unless any of the first two points are relevant, and I would think that's highly unlikely, or the OP could convince HMG that his wife set out to obtain her Citizenship by fraud etc, all those years ago, then she has every right to retain her citizenship. Now can we stick to the original question please, can the cheating wife get her boyfriend a visa? Can I also ask other members not tp post any more comments regarding hit men, setting on dogs on her or other dubious means to prevent this lady bringing her "new" partner to the UK. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liquorice Posted September 27, 2014 Share Posted September 27, 2014 akajack9, on 26 Sept 2014 - 18:34, said:Yes i have made sure she cannot get any money out of me already, as for being a troll, well dont u think ive got better things to do !! I know that immigration will do nothing, but surely she cant sponsor another fella whilst im still in the house and we are still married, i would like to think not but time will tell. The main thing is not having this other fella over that would just do my head in, especially as she must be thinking that, i doubt very much she pre-planned this just for a 2 week fling whilst on holiday and she didnt give a shit about me and my daughter, when i found out she wouldnt pick up the phone even after i sent her a message saying emergency please pick up, she still ignored it !! i didnt get through until 5 am in the morning uk time, and to say im devastated is an understatement but im just trying to keep it together for my daughter...... akajack9, As previously stated by 7by7 it would be impossible for your wife to sponsor him as either a Spouse or Family Visitor. He could apply for a Visitor Visa, but I very much doubt he would be successful with an application. I know this is understandably messing with your head, but once you take control and the initiative, the better you'll feel. Ask yourself a question: Is the marriage reconcilable, could you ever trust her again? If the answer is 'No', then go and get some legal advice. Take the bull by the horns and think only about yourself and your daughter. She may think she is in control, but when she is served with a summons for divorce, the look on her face will be sweet revenge. Seriously many of us have been through this crap, but life is better when the dust settles. I was married twice. I divorced my first wife and got custody of our 4 kids. I raised them all and worked, the youngest was 3 at the time. I went through hell, but I have no regrets. It's not easy but the benefits are rewarding. My kids and I had a great time without a woman in the picture and we have bonds that will never be broken. You owe it to your daughter to end the misery you are both suffering. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mosha Posted September 27, 2014 Share Posted September 27, 2014 To the OP C A B will fix you up with a free 30 minute chat with a solicitor. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liquorice Posted September 27, 2014 Share Posted September 27, 2014 AnotherOneAmerican, on 26 Sept 2014 - 20:38, said: Faz, on 26 Sept 2014 - 18:39, said:Maybe the laws have changed a little since you practiced AOA. If married the law states 50/50 irrespective of who paid for what, and who has the mortgage. However circumstances are now taken into account and that can change any awards. If children are involved the Court see's that as the residence of the child and you cannot force either party to sell before the child is 18. The OP also has just as many rights as the woman to take sole custody of the child and stay put in his home. Whoever takes responsibility and custody for the child in a divorce will inevitably be able to remain in the matrimonial home until the child is at least 18, unless they sell it by mutual consent. Nope, I keep up with the UK and my home state. If anything UK has got worse for men in the last 3 years. Women are considered always truthful, in family court, if the kid is under 14, woman will usually be awarded home outright. UK law has never divided 50/50, not in the last 15 years anyway, if there is a child involved. I could get the wife, the house and 100% custody in an instant. And block dad from ever seeing the kid again. She just has to play it right. First a trip down the police stn, report she is worried about his mental state, and risk of violence towards her and the kid (touching the girl in an inappropriate way?). Second trip to his local Citizens advice, ask for help (which will block him using it). Third trip to his local doctor, ask for mental trauma help, mention him touching the daughter (which will block him). Fourth, trip to kids school, see headmaster, worried about his mental health (touching the kid). Etc., it's a really easy process. Bull! You've got to prove it. You don't think the kid will be questioned. Sorry this is off topic, but I've been there, done it, wrote the book, got the t-shirt. You assume the women get custody, not always the case! Another topic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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