sin sod

[Lex Talionis]

I think im thinking too much about it.. i will just give em the cash drink some whiskey and get this necessery evil over and done with. Done the house thing. Done the car thing. About to do the marriage thing. I have a feeling the next thing will be the baby thing. Any one else feeling it?

Sure. You're already up to your armpits. Why not dunk that head under?

[crickets]

The gf is ok.....just the family.. the f#$king family

[Land Of Smiles]

Well the girlfriend and family could well be working together. If she's on your side she should perhaps be looking to get you a better deal and look after your interests too by standing up to them. I found this interesting and informative http://www.thethailandlife.com/sin-sod - should help you get your head around it.

Edited October 1, 2014 by Land Of Smiles

[choochoo]

I think im thinking too much about it.. i will just give em the cash drink some whiskey and get this necessery evil over and done with. Done the house thing. Done the car thing. About to do the marriage thing. I have a feeling the next thing will be the baby thing. Any one else feeling it?

Guy already spent oodles and oodles on the girl and now he is worried about getting $6,000 sin sot back.

The HORSE has already left the barn metaphor really does apply here.

Im feeling you are just being used for your kindness(as in ATM).

Good luck. let us all know how you get along..................lol. FOR gods sake dont have a babby for at least 10 year trial period.

[Land Of Smiles]

Seems like he's not happy, and the point of a relationship is to be happy. You're the one with the money. You should be in control. Put those trousers on and tell them what you want to happen!

Edited October 2, 2014 by Land Of Smiles

[aarontendo]

I would never marry an isaan chick. Give me a nice proper Chinese Thai girl.

[Julie H]

I would never marry an isaan chick. Give me a nice proper Chinese Thai girl.

Agreed, I paid zero & it wasn't expected, we take care of ourselves & its smiles, wais & small talk at family gatherings. I wouldn't have it any other way

[crickets]

I had he wedding and was really fun. The parents spent over 100k on it. I got the gold back but no cash from them. Once i got over the fact it was tradition i didnt care what came back. My family enjoyed it and so did my wife.

[crickets]

Myself and most of the guests also woke up with pink eye the next day.

[aarontendo]

So what happens when they demand that she send them (your) money every month?

[tullynagardy]

ahhhh the TVF "I married a hiso Chinese Thai," crew have arrived.... (ironically the guys that write this stuff probably look like this guy)

[crickets]

I dont give her money. She has a good job. But i think now its the end of her looking after them. I also put the home loan in her name and she has to take care of that too.

[aarontendo]

Oh no, don't get me wrong I'm not married. I'm just saying that I've heard plenty of horror stories about marrying Isaan chicks to scare me off that. And ya know, all bar girls come from that area...speaks volumes about that region and what they'd do for money. I ain't that fat yet but working on it good sir!

[drgoon]

My wifes family started at 400k and 5baht of gold........ I was like <deleted> I'm out of here.

I explained my difficulties with the concept of sin sod, our cultural values in NZ, the idea of paying for a wife is like buying a slave, even though I have a house the bank owns it mostly, I'm not rich and have a job that would support us both even if she didn't work but there would be few trips back to see her family, it would take nearly 3 years for me to save that amount of money blah blah blah.....

I managed to negotiate it down significantly but I still paid.

The whole experience showed me how unwilling they were to accept a different set of values and compromise... it was a very difficult time and put a lot of strain on our relationship.

Happily we are now past that.

Yes, sin sod is a very foreign concept to us westerners and it is challenging to get Thai people to accept that there is in fact another side in the relationship. One that has equal rights.

[Twice shy]

There is one thing paying sinsod for a university educated girl from a decent honest hardworking family who are not going to expect a monthly pension of the new farang husband ...basically a girl who has a normal job and life ambitions

But paying sinsod for ex bar girls or women who have been married before and have kids is a total no no

And to many farang men fall for the latter ...they should be getting payed to take these girls on not the other way about

Just my opinion and I am entitled to it after after seeing good and bad relationships in Thailand for 20+ years ...

There is good and bad in all walks of life but I have found the issan women to be the worst mothers and partners on the planet

I learned this the hard way and I ended up being a single parent for my oldest two kids as the mother just abandoned them and

Not content with that she also tried her hardest to make our life,s miserable and unbalanced ....

I have had lots of friends all farang and all ex issan wife's who had the exact same thing unfold on them over the years ...

[Brit_Doggie]

Forgive my humor don't you mean sod sin.

Translated silly sod save the money and live in sin.

[elliss]

So much support from everyone.....really looking foward to the wedding now:

IF , the maiden she, has kept herself and has been waiting patiently, for the right man, name YOU,

Then forget all the propaganda from the old moaners, on this forum chanting ,sin sod is for silly sod

then play the white man and pay up 1000,000 bht , same good farlang .

I was that man .

[crickets]

Well its a week into my marriage and its still feels pretty normal i guesss.

[drgoon]

Just my opinion and I am entitled to it after after seeing good and bad relationships in Thailand for 20+ years ...

There is good and bad in all walks of life but I have found the issan women to be the worst mothers and partners on the planet

I learned this the hard way and I ended up being a single parent for my oldest two kids as the mother just abandoned them and

Not content with that she also tried her hardest to make our life,s miserable and unbalanced ....

I have had lots of friends all farang and all ex issan wife's who had the exact same thing unfold on them over the years ...

What a sad jaded outlook.... you and your friends must live in a different Isaan to the one I know.

Sure, there are poor parents everywhere but to say Isaan women are the worst mothers on the planet is a generaised statement that has no merit.

[crickets]

If u couldnt see thr potential for change from them before marriage then u must have had your beer goggles on the whole time.

[drgoon]

Well its a week into my marriage and its still feels pretty normal i guesss.

Good luck for the future. .

[onthemoon]

Oh no, don't get me wrong I'm not married. I'm just saying that I've heard plenty of horror stories about marrying Isaan chicks to scare me off that. And ya know, all bar girls come from that area...speaks volumes about that region and what they'd do for money. I ain't that fat yet but working on it good sir!

Good to hear that you are not prejudiced.

[h90]

I told them i was going to give them the cash but the gold i HAVE to give the gold. Its so important to them. Im thinking of buying a steel ingot and just paint it.

You don't have to do anything......There are plenty of people (incl. myself) who never paid anything.

[DerekMarshall]

Sin sot is actually a chinese tradition and not a Thai one. So basically farangs are running around with Thai/Isaan women pretending to be Chinese men!

Also it is tradition for something to be given for the sin sot if not returned, i.e land held in escrow until first baby is born.

At the moment I am holding the upperhand, although I paid 100k to get engaged (silly me! - I know) for previously married woman with a bratty sprog.

Still 2 years later and a kid of our own, they want to save face (father is poo yai baan) unmarried daughter has two kids one with a farang she has not married

Marriage will happen, when they drop the sin sot talk! or I walk and leave them with zero face!

[David48]

Sin sot is actually a chinese tradition and not a Thai one. So basically farangs are running around with Thai/Isaan women pretending to be Chinese men!

Also it is tradition for something to be given for the sin sot if not returned, i.e land held in escrow until first baby is born.

At the moment I am holding the upperhand, although I paid 100k to get engaged (silly me! - I know) for previously married woman with a bratty sprog.

Still 2 years later and a kid of our own, they want to save face (father is poo yai baan) unmarried daughter has two kids one with a farang she has not married

Marriage will happen, when they drop the sin sot talk! or I walk and leave them with zero face!

WOW ... I can really learn how to be a man like you ... "Marriage will happen, when they drop the sin sot talk! or I walk and leave them with zero face!" ... I bet you swagger when you walk also.

... and so knowledgeable ... "Sin sot is actually a chinese tradition and not a Thai one. So basically farangs are running around with Thai/Isaan women pretending to be Chinese men!" Where, pray tell, did these Pearls of Wisdom', which we bath in, were espoused from? Anyone got a spare 'Pinch of Salt' please?

Thai Visa knowledge base ... the Hub of Surprises ...

[The Fat Controller]

I married at the amphur in Feb 2014.

The Buddhist ceremony with 9 monks, her family and friends is on the 1st November.

There will be money SHOWN and half will be from me and half from my wife's own account.

The lucky amount will be 3,999,999

NO money will be PAID to her family, none was asked for and my share will be returned to me to do with as I wish.

To all the cynics on here, when will you realise it's all about FACE when you marry into a decent Thai family.

[choochoo]

Sin sot is actually a chinese tradition and not a Thai one. So basically farangs are running around with Thai/Isaan women pretending to be Chinese men!

Also it is tradition for something to be given for the sin sot if not returned, i.e land held in escrow until first baby is born.

At the moment I am holding the upperhand, although I paid 100k to get engaged (silly me! - I know) for previously married woman with a bratty sprog.

Still 2 years later and a kid of our own, they want to save face (father is poo yai baan) unmarried daughter has two kids one with a farang she has not married

Marriage will happen, when they drop the sin sot talk! or I walk and leave them with zero face!

You are AmAziNg- in a bad way.................lol.

Its ovious they see you as a bag of money yet willing to marry.

[aarontendo]

Oh no, don't get me wrong I'm not married. I'm just saying that I've heard plenty of horror stories about marrying Isaan chicks to scare me off that. And ya know, all bar girls come from that area...speaks volumes about that region and what they'd do for money. I ain't that fat yet but working on it good sir!

Good to hear that you are not prejudiced.

not PC and not pretending to be. I've been to bars most those girls hail from Isaan. Also, from my understanding most families outside of Isaan will refund most or all the sinsod...in Isaan not the case.

So yes, I would date a chick from there n have fun but unless she's truly exceptional I doubt it would turn into marriage.

[crickets]

At the ceremony we had the money and gold there and the parents gave me the gold back. A few people looked at me and said "kee neou" which means they thought i was a tight arse for taking the gold back.

[David48]

At the ceremony we had the money and gold there and the parents gave me the gold back. A few people looked at me and said "kee neou" which means they thought i was a tight arse for taking the gold back.

Not their business what you and the Parents of your Lassie negotiated.

Don't be intimidated or concerned.

They are just jealous that they don't have a hansum Son-In-Law like you.

.