I want the change handed back to me.

[OmegaRacer]

Same thing happens to me all the time, in all kinds of restaurants. It happened again just 2 days ago at Shabushi. I asked my wife about it, but she just puts it down to shyness. I don't buy it.

Next time I will ask the waitress directly.

[Suradit69]

OP, you're getting an idea of what they really think of us.

It's this crippling obsession with Loss of Farang Face thing again. Trust me. 99.9% of THEM don't think of YOU at all.

Again THEY and US. And back in whatever country you came from THEY all just loved YOU to pieces, right? THEY must have been devastated when YOU left.

Can't believe how hard some people have to search to find more things to bi_ch about.

Waaaaaaaa Waaaaaaaaaaa Waaaaaaaaaaa The waitress didn't give the change to me. THEY hate all farang !!

Give me change. Give me, Waaaaa. I Lose Face!!

Edited October 7, 2014 by Suradit69

[Skytrain2hell]

They are most likely just shy. Things don't work here the same way as in your homeland, and it's silly to think that it should.

Dishes come out when they are ready here. They don't serve everything at the same time. Change is given to someone that looks more Asian than you because it's a matter of comfort and avoiding an awkward situation - not because they are being racist.

Just relax...as long as you get your change, who cares? Thailand isn't about being efficient.

[Tuskfish]

Sorry Costa but my experience has been more like SoiBiker

If I pay they offer me the change 90% of the time.

If she pays they sometimes offer it to me too.

Although in many cases we don't take the change anyway (if the change is less than 100 at a restaurant I don't bother with it)

If it's in Tesco or at a register like that (i.e. instead of a restaurant) it actually seems to be given to whichever one of us is closer.

There have however been instances where "my" change has been given to my girl.

In these cases she then offers it to me and I say keep it or give it to your niece.

I realise it's not the same for all of us but the exchange rate is very kind to me so I feel my fortunate position should be shared, after all what am I going to do with a big pile of satangs and 1 baht coins anyway?

Also, isn't money shared in a relationship so what's the problem?

Edited October 7, 2014 by Tuskfish

[Carnlough]

You are probably an arrogant S.O.B like most Europeans... and you scare these Beautiful People,especially when its in your mind to call them "STUPID THINGS" they get the vibes from you... that you are NOT a nice person......

[willyumiii]

When the give the bill and change to me, I give it to the wife.

She can usually find something on the bill we did not order or eat.

And I like it when she pays the bills.

This may confuse some TV members, but not all of us are walking ATMs for our Thai wives.

[MrJohnson]

I have had a simular problem with the wife. , The wife and i go out to eat together, We both order together. but a few times the waiter has brought my meal before the wife's, I sit there waiting for the wife's meal to be brought but it does not arrive i just sit and sit, waiters come up to the wife and ask is there a problem with the meal, I say yes its cold now because its bad manners to start to eat before your wife, that usually gets a few stupid looks from the Thai waiters and i make them take the meal back because its cold. Is it me .

Manners - a very subjective set of behavours - in many parts of Asia nobody waits for all the food to arrive because often people eat communally or for whatever other reason. That is a very Western thing IMHO.

[glegolo]

If you don't like the way they do business go back to hellas land, no one is pointing a gun to your head and forcing you to live in some remote village. Nearly all your posts involve bashing Thailand, Greece has some great villages, what is the reason that forces you to stay in Thailand?

I'd say that, in common with many of us, Costas' family life is "forcing" him to live here,although "forcing" isn't really the correct word. Maybe he's spent years rolling over on his belly and accepting all this sort of sh1t from Thais and is now beginning to come to the end of his tolerance of such stupid behaviour. I know that's the route I'm taking here these days.

As far as I remember, Costas lives in the Ban Phai, the next town to me, and it's certainly not some "remote village".

lol! living your life in a society whose behaviour you consider stupid and constantlty complaining and reacting to it! what a life!! lol

Should I understand that taking issue with ignorance & rudeness isn't allowed now in the AYJAYDEE world? Sorry, but I try very hard not to give offence to anybody - Thai or other nationality - and expect similar consideration from them and will often comment on rude behaviour, as will my wife to a lesser extent. What's wrong with that? I'd expect similar reactions from Thai people if they considered me rude and have sometimes been on the receiving end, especially in my early days here. If Thai folks are allowed to comment on what they might see as my rudeness then I'm allowed to do the same.

NO NO NO, you are NOT!!! You are in Thailand, and this country has it´s own culture, and it is very different from our western culture.... Take a thai person to Sweden and Swedens culture should be valid, not thai culture. YOUR culture has nothing to do with Thailand at all....

When you find thai people rude, they are NOT rude in their own way of seeing things... If you learn that, I think you will have a much more pleasent time here...

Glegolo

[Tuskfish]

I have had a simular problem with the wife. , The wife and i go out to eat together, We both order together. but a few times the waiter has brought my meal before the wife's, I sit there waiting for the wife's meal to be brought but it does not arrive i just sit and sit, waiters come up to the wife and ask is there a problem with the meal, I say yes its cold now because its bad manners to start to eat before your wife, that usually gets a few stupid looks from the Thai waiters and i make them take the meal back because its cold. Is it me .

Manners - a very subjective set of behavours - in many parts of Asia nobody waits for all the food to arrive because often people eat communally or for whatever other reason. That is a very Western thing IMHO.

I tend to agree here, while sometimes sharing MrJohnson frustration also.

Generally we end up sharing 3 plates between the two of us to avoid this problem (and also the problem of small servings here!!)

[SoiBiker]

I have had a simular problem with the wife. , The wife and i go out to eat together, We both order together. but a few times the waiter has brought my meal before the wife's, I sit there waiting for the wife's meal to be brought but it does not arrive i just sit and sit, waiters come up to the wife and ask is there a problem with the meal, I say yes its cold now because its bad manners to start to eat before your wife, that usually gets a few stupid looks from the Thai waiters and i make them take the meal back because its cold. Is it me .

Manners - a very subjective set of behavours - in many parts of Asia nobody waits for all the food to arrive because often people eat communally or for whatever other reason. That is a very Western thing IMHO.

I tend to agree here, while sometimes sharing MrJohnson frustration also.

Generally we end up sharing 3 plates between the two of us to avoid this problem (and also the problem of small servings here!!)

I prefer the communal ordering thing anyway. You get to try more dishes.

[catweazle]

No idea what you're talking about. Learn Thai, fit in and all gonna be fine...

Btw. if something like this was my biggest problem to an extend that I would waste other people's time discussing it, I'd call it bliss. By looking at your post - If I would load my worries and responsibilities and problems on your shoulder, you would die by instant shock my friend! Grow up!

[canuckamuck]

Although I generally get the change back if I paid, I have had it happen the other way. I put it down to nervousness.

What does bug me however, is when I order something in Thai, and I am understood, they still try to confirm it with my wife. And never make eye contact with me again. Sometimes my wife will say to them why are you asking me he is right there?

But there are a lot of situations where I am made to feel invisible or incapable of making decisions. I said to my wife, it is like I am pet that you brought out for a walk. And then it occurred to me. If I was just a monkey in clothes that had learned how eat at the table. How would people treat me. And I thought, not much different than they do know, At least people who do not know me.

So the answer to this is to realize you will be treated like someone's pet monkey until they get to know you so just adapt. Also the less educated they are, the worse it will be.

Soon I will be back in Canada and I will have to adapt to being a visible human again. A place where you can be three meters back from the counter and people will still ask "excuse me, are you in line?"

Edited October 7, 2014 by canuckamuck

[AYJAYDEE]

Same thing happens to me all the time, in all kinds of restaurants. It happened again just 2 days ago at Shabushi. I asked my wife about it, but she just puts it down to shyness. I don't buy it.

Next time I will ask the waitress directly.

lo! ask the person who is so shy of you she hands the change to your wife!!! that should get you the right answer!! lol

[AYJAYDEE]

Costas, try his

Bill comes and is handed to your wife ... she checks the bill and then passes it to you ... you ask her something in English about the bill and she replies in English (or Thai)... you pass the bill back to her and she pays ... when the change goes back to her she then hands it to you.

then where does the opportunity for outrage fit in?

I see no comments on being outraged in the OP, he is just commentating on his experiences with changed being handed back. Whatever happened to free speech?.

its alive and well and i'm taking advantage of that fact. he posts in a public forum and he can expect comments from the general public. what a surprise!

[Costas2008]

Do you speak passable Thai?

I speak very good Thai....................sooooooo good that NO Thai man or woman understands me when I speak to them

[laolover88]

I don't care who gets the bill, who pays, or who gets the change.

However when going out to eat 9 times out of 10 the bill is padded. My wife reads every bill like an eagle, Either it is that something appeared on the table that was not ordered, but charged for, or that was ordered and never appeared, or that 2 bottles Heineken charged, not one. And that is invariably with Thai people eating. Was in the hospital the other day. Charged twice for my zimmer frame. Wife laughed and said: "They think you look so old they probably thought you needed one for each leg".

[Frank James]

There are great advantages to being invisible. I like moving through the crowds with nobody paying me any attention. It's something like that great old low budget movie "Carnival of Souls."

Maybe I'm dead but don't know it.

Yet.

[khunjamesjohnson]

In the US they shame you by asking 'do you want your change back?'.

I hate that.

"Do you want your change ?"

Now that you mentioned it, YES!

[SickOfEm]

There have been times when I have entered a store and once the staff cop their eyes on me, they all start scattering in opposite directions.

[Costas2008]

Costas, try his

Bill comes and is handed to your wife ... she checks the bill and then passes it to you ... you ask her something in English about the bill and she replies in English (or Thai)... you pass the bill back to her and she pays ... when the change goes back to her she then hands it to you.

That will be very difficult...........I pay, she keeps the change.

That's one of the reasons "I want the change handed back to me"

[1FinickyOne]

Do you speak Thai? Maybe they think if you can't speak, you can't count either? Not an unreasonable conclusion, but I am not sure that waitresses are known to be of the highest intellectual offerings from any country… and here, they don't even expect a tip… if this happened to me, I doubt I would even notice… but surely would not be offended by it.

Bring your 15 yr old to the dentist - maybe they will drill his teeth instead.

[AYJAYDEE]

Costas, try his

Bill comes and is handed to your wife ... she checks the bill and then passes it to you ... you ask her something in English about the bill and she replies in English (or Thai)... you pass the bill back to her and she pays ... when the change goes back to her she then hands it to you.

That will be very difficult...........I pay, she keeps the change.

That's one of the reasons "I want the change handed back to me"

that last line speaks volumes.

[Greg Nixon]

We don't exist here, we are merely coming to life when with other Thai whom act as validation.

Today I went to complain because my moban is not providing me with the same bus service as Thai people.

The officer had to call my landlord, and talk to it about it. He does not know much about it but he's my Thai representative.

Also many people jump queues in front of me... I don't exist...

"Today I went to complain because my moban is not providing me with the same bus service as Thai people." ... that is really strange and, to be honest, I don't really understand how that could happen.

Could you explain some more please?

Easily explained. he looks out the window and see the rotmair picking up people. So he goes outside to catch the rotmair and he has to wait 30 minutes to an hour. Why are the other people picked up immediately and he has to wait ?

[SoiBiker]

Easily explained. he looks out the window and see the rotmair picking up people. So he goes outside to catch the rotmair and he has to wait 30 minutes to an hour. Why are the other people picked up immediately and he has to wait ?

Because the guy's having his lunch?

[Greg Nixon]

It happened quite frequently when I first came but at 7/11 I no longer stand in line with my wife. The restaurants now see me as an individual and not as an extension of my wife. I now speak some Thai and have been very generous and friendly with the waitresses.

I think some service staff are afraid of confrontations with foreigners over the change as they have probably had some confrontations in the past. If they do not know you they may believe you do not understand the Thai currency system. The service staff do not speak English or other languages well so they give the change to someone whom they can understand if there is any dispute.

Moral of the story. Learn enough Thai to converse about simple things. Do not rely on the wife so much. Get out there on your own sometimes. You won't believe how good it is for you.

Pom kowjai baht. Pom rue ni OK. OR pom rue ni mae di.

[Wat dee]

Costas maybe you look so old that they think you cannot be trusted with money?

[canuckamuck]

Do you ever have it happen to you that you go to shop, for example a coffee shop, and you order in Thai, receive your order, and then they stick a calculator in your face with the amount you owe. I feel like saying, "you should have sign in here explaining that you are mute"

[Jip66]

Jumping line.... we do not exist, that is pure bullshit from people that dont understand a shit about their surroundings... Havent you noticed..... They jump the line on their own as much as they do it on us...... THEY DO NOT HAVE LINES/QUES HERE IN THAILAND.,....

Glegolo.

Go to any bank or Post Office & you will find a queuing system, you go to a machine, press a button, take a number ticket, then sit & wait for your number to be called. Thai's KNOW about this system & use it accordingly, they don't go around asking to change tickets with other people. All other types of queue jumping is just pure ignorance from the Thai's....maybe one day they will learn manners, but I can't see that happening while I'm still breathing

[AYJAYDEE]

Do you ever have it happen to you that you go to shop, for example a coffee shop, and you order in Thai, receive your order, and then they stick a calculator in your face with the amount you owe. I feel like saying, "you should have sign in here explaining that you are mute"

how awful!! god I'm glad that never happened to me. I dont know if I could take it!

[kamahele]

I've never had this happen to me but I would guess that very often Thai are embarrassed at the thought of trying to communicate with farangs so they avoid it by going to the less threatening situation which would be dealing with a woman or child etc. I have this issue at work. Many people who I have worked with for three years are still too embarrassed to try to communicate with me in English or Thai.