Why Does A Successful Intelligent Farang Marry A Bar Girl

[britmaveric]

Bkk - when it gets down to it, they could care less.

But if you surveyed 100 Thai people about this, what would you imagine they would say?

I've asked many people over the years and prevailing view has been disinterest. It smth they wouldnt do personally, but they certainly don't frown over it. Sure I have run across a few high so types that basically shi*e on bg(s), but for the most part they didnt care one way or the other.

[jdinasia]

Bkk - when it gets down to it, they could care less.

C'mon Brit .... that really depends on what you mean.

If you mean they don't care in that they will willingly mix socially, then that really isn't accurate. Do you mean they treat them like crap in casual meeting circumstances? No.

It really depends on who you are dealing with!

[britmaveric]

Would they associate with them? Depends, but for the most part no. Same goes for someone beneath their class - doesnt really matter. Going to be ignored or thought less of anyways. (that is my point)

Edited August 7, 2006 by britmaveric

[opothai]

i cannot answer the op original question, but i can give an interesting account of different views,

currently two friend of mine are in pattaya,

one who has an open mind and just loves the rr aspect, and goes at least three times a year, has a couple of gfriends with no ties, easy going guy. no outspoken opinions just accepts things for what they are.

the other one goes at least 4 months in the year on and of and cannot understand a brit marrying with a thai

he is forever critisizing the falangs running around with the young ladies of the night but spends so much time and money in los.

when he first went over about 7 years ago it was all positive but know he is all negative but still goes, does this sound familiar to any one.

how many times have you sat in a bar and heard the falang say what a sad place this is but they come back again and again.

[bkkmadness]

Bkk - when it gets down to it, they could care less.

But if you surveyed 100 Thai people about this, what would you imagine they would say?

I've asked many people over the years and prevailing view has been disinterest. It smth they wouldnt do personally, but they certainly don't frown over it. Sure I have run across a few high so types that basically shi*e on bg(s), but for the most part they didnt care one way or the other.

I think thats a good point, its funny how people on this board often use the 'well the Thais think this, the Thais think that" to back up an argument when its quite obvious that most Thais couldn't care less.

I was on the Metro the other day and there was a middle aged farang guy chatting with a young bargirl, all gold jewellery and pigeon english. I had a quick think to this board about how in situations like its said that the Thais stare on in disgust and had a quick look around at all the Thais on the train. Not one of them was taking the slightest bit of notice of this couple and quite ashamedly I realised the only person who was staring at them making judgements was myself.

[britmaveric]

BKK - its called zoning it out, I think prob at one point such behaviour prob was shocking to thai(s). However its become tolerated, not necessarily for individual thai(s) themselves, but certainly not going concern themselves if it doesnt really affect them. Disinterest is what prevails.

[bkkmadness]

Bkk - when it gets down to it, they could care less.

C'mon Brit .... that really depends on what you mean.

If you mean they don't care in that they will willingly mix socially, then that really isn't accurate. Do you mean they treat them like crap in casual meeting circumstances? No.

It really depends on who you are dealing with!

Like Brit said, alot of that is just about class. Would these people not mix with bargirls, but instead mix with tuk tuk drivers and street cleaners on a social level? I don't think so.

[bkkmadness]

BKK - its called zoning it out, I think prob at one point such behaviour prob was shocking to thai(s). However its become tolerated, not necessarily for individual thai(s) themselves, but certainly not going concern themselves if it doesnt really affect them. Disinterest is what prevails.

I think the 'live and let live' attitude thankfully prevails.

[Plus]

Prostitution is not acceptable, though tolerated. They aren't going to stop it, they just don't want to have anything to do with it. Tolerance and acceptance are different things.

[britmaveric]

Prostitution is not acceptable, though tolerated. They aren't going to stop it, they just don't want to have anything to do with it. Tolerance and acceptance are different things.

It's accepted part of life, nuff said.

[OZONE]

^That question is off topic and bordering on a personal insult. I suggest we dont go further down that road.

My apology. I had no intention of insulting anyone, but merely pointing-out to Plachon that it was not a fair question to Gnarly.

[Donz]

i cannot answer the op original question, but i can give an interesting account of different views,

currently two friend of mine are in pattaya,

one who has an open mind and just loves the rr aspect, and goes at least three times a year, has a couple of gfriends with no ties, easy going guy. no outspoken opinions just accepts things for what they are.

the other one goes at least 4 months in the year on and of and cannot understand a brit marrying with a thai

he is forever critisizing the falangs running around with the young ladies of the night but spends so much time and money in los.

when he first went over about 7 years ago it was all positive but know he is all negative but still goes, does this sound familiar to any one.

how many times have you sat in a bar and heard the falang say what a sad place this is but they come back again and again.

Im sure there is many like that

[Plus]

It's accepted part of life

It's less accepted than drinking and gambling. Below prostitution everything is criminal - stealing etc.

[meadish_sweetball]

The Thais I have discussed the matter with are not happy about prostitution, but then again I have seen that the ones I meet regularly do not have anything against associating with bargirls who are nice people and do not take the bar with them when they go elsewhere.

So ATME it is more about demeanour and not so much about occupation. However, some prostitutes, in particular older ones, can have foul mouths and an attitude, which as a rule is not appreciated by other Thais regardless of the person on which said mouth is located.

I don't pretend my friends represent all other Thais, and I suggest none of us know enough people from different walks of life and parts of the country to be able to confidently state that 'Thais think this' or 'No, Thais think that'. It isn't that simple...

...also remember that the way you pose a question has a lot to do with the answer you receive. Thais will often confirm what you want to hear because they want you to feel comfortable and create a sense of unity.

[boppia]

I agree with BKK about the low class high so people asscoiating with TukTuk drivers and cleaning ladies. The truth is that they never would. But it is funny how Thais with dinero are willing to visit the Ap Op Nuet massage parlours which made Chuwit wealthy. It's also strange how mia nois usually recieve a condo or cash from wealthy husbands who are cheating on their wives.

There are plenty of working girls in Chinatown, around Lumpini, and near Sanam Luang who cater to Thai clients.

And there are the educated golddigging Thai women who marry for money. Of course, their husbands, farangs or Thais, expect to get 'love' and sex for giving the lady the opportunity to live in wealth.

But the truth is a world truth; every woman who marries for a better life is a prostitute. Every man that attracts a woman through their holdings is paying for what they get and so they are 'johns.'

But fear not, people can fall in love with their clients. Love grows.

[Neeranam]

There are so many types of bargirls, hard to generalise.

Some are downright thieving whores and others are honest hard-working entrepeneurs.

[boppia]

Neeranam ,that's very true.

But most bargirls are neither; they are just average people who just want to have a better life.

Most everyone wants to see the sunrise or sunset so few notice the beauty of the blue sky above.

[Plus]

But the truth is a world truth; every woman who marries for a better life is a prostitute.

Aren't they all, by this standard. I also agree with MS - if the girls don't bring their bar with them no one will notice. But it's difficult to completely hide your social status - manners, tone of voice, posture, movements, clothes.

I've been to Koh Tao for a week once, living with scuba divers. Locals were also English speaking touristy guys with a special mindset. I haven't seen a single Thai and couldn't understand a single word they were saying. I couldn't wait to return to Bangkok, I truly missed them - polite, sweet little Thais. When in Bangkok I get bored to death of their mobile phones and soap operas, but I missed them then.

[boppia]

What does a bg look like or sound like? I don't think the embassies can even answer that one.

One note, I'd bet that percentagewise bargirls are less likely to overstay a visa in America than are other Thais who get visas. Bargirls are more likely to come back on time before their visa expires than are other Thais. Just my opinion.

[Heng]

What does a bg look like or sound like?

I'm no authority, although I do come across more than a few who have farang acquired/bargirl owned property that they want to use as loan collateral. You can just tell, although like anything else, you're not always going to be 100% correct. I'd say one generalization you can blanket them with and be mostly accurate is that they display a fidgety lack of confidence (this is sometimes very subtle and quiet.... or sometimes the polar opposite: very loud, coarse, and mildly obnoxious) when dealing with Thais with normal (non-prostitution related) lives. Of course, sometimes regular folks are like this as well, but that in combination with appearance and mannerisms is IMO what most Thais pick up on.

[boppia]

Heng, are you married yet?

[Donz]

What does a bg look like or sound like?

I'm no authority, although I do come across more than a few who have farang acquired/bargirl owned property that they want to use as loan collateral. You can just tell, although like anything else, you're not always going to be 100% correct. I'd say one generalization you can blanket them with and be mostly accurate is that they display a fidgety lack of confidence (this is sometimes very subtle and quiet.... or sometimes the polar opposite: very loud, coarse, and mildly obnoxious) when dealing with Thais with normal (non-prostitution related) lives. Of course, sometimes regular folks are like this as well, but that in combination with appearance and mannerisms is IMO what most Thais pick up on.

The only thing I care about is knowing how to tell the difference between a lady boy and a girl

[kerryk]

Most Thais where? Kerruk used the word yuppies. In Bangkok nearly EVERY family has a house and a car, not counting motocycles. There are plenty of singles in Bangkok who have houses and cars, too, it's totally doable. Girls who decide to prostitute themselves are outcasts here, they have no prospects in life, no hope of finding a decent husband, decent job, and they are aging everyday. How do you think the "yuppies" look at them? No respect whatsoever. It might be different in Pattaya due to their sheer numbers.

The best exit for them is to find enough money to start a litle shop or a beauty salon somewhere where no one knows their past.

The first google result on toursim statisics returned this: there were over 13 mil tourists in Thailand last year and they spend total of 450 bil baht. Thai GDP is about 7 trillion, so direct tourist spending accounts for less than 7%. (these money gets recycled many times so the total contribution is much higher than that).

In Chiang Mai most of the people I know are working people, chef’s, office managers, shop owners, a couple of guys who own construction companies, a couple of restaurant managers, a few uni students (two are hi so). They come over to our home and we go to theirs. The ladies go to the Wat together and three of them including one hi so uni student are spending a week in the Wat next week together. I have only seen one case of any ex bar girl being treated as an outcast. That was by a hi so Chinese (three generations living in Thailand) lady who was accompanied by a Farang 25 years older than her. I didn’t have the heart to tell the guy but I had seen his lady (who he thought was a grad student) before at an upscale fishbowl in Bangkok.

I have to admit I know no Yuppies in Bangkok and no people I would classify as Yuppies in Chiang Mai.

I guess you may be right if one traveled in those circles.

When I was a kid I traveled in those circles as did my ex wife and my daughters but I was never really at home there. I am more at home eating dinner with a bottle of cold beer in the kitchen of the four star restaurant with the chef or manager than out front with the tourists.

I don’t go to charity balls anymore and I am not in the royal audiences. So perhaps my experiences up North are different than others. As far as future job prospects, I know one ex bar girl 62 who owns a large farm in Chiang Rai another who owns a guest house and twenty or thirty who own bars or Karaoke clubs. A number are bar managers who make a decent living. Three or four are in long term relationships with Farang husbands and are well respected in their communities outside of Bangkok. It must be said that I have not met the failures. I don’t know what they are doing.

About the tourist numbers you quoted I would imagine they are concentrated in three areas, Chiang Mai, Bangkok and Pattaya and South. Add in the ex pat’s income for people permanently living here and Thai internal tourism to those areas and it comes to a very substantial number per city.

[boppia]

I'd guess the bargirls who don't make it go back to their lower paying jobs and live like any old poor Thai.

What do the bargirls have to lose? Bargirls aren't slaves but many factory workers are. I wonder if a girl who leaves the 10-hour a day factory job is really a runaway slave? A lot of the people who use the cheap labor here don't like to lose their employees. Many of those who 'have' in Thailand will even hire illegals if they can have more in their fat wallets. They and their children drive Mercedez and have property around Thailand yet they won't pay a bit more and HIRE A THAI. If you want to look down on someone look down on these folks.

[Heng]

Heng, are you married yet?

PM on the way.

[Noel]

Bkk - when it gets down to it, they could care less.

But if you surveyed 100 Thai people about this, what would you imagine they would say?

I actually think that most could not care less and would say or think something akin to: 'Lao dtae puak kaow...'

[meemiathai]

I'd guess the bargirls who don't make it go back to their lower paying jobs and live like any old poor Thai.

What do the bargirls have to lose? Bargirls aren't slaves but many factory workers are. I wonder if a girl who leaves the 10-hour a day factory job is really a runaway slave? A lot of the people who use the cheap labor here don't like to lose their employees. Many of those who 'have' in Thailand will even hire illegals if they can have more in their fat wallets. They and their children drive Mercedez and have property around Thailand yet they won't pay a bit more and HIRE A THAI. If you want to look down on someone look down on these folks.

EXACTLY.

Lovely posts, boppia.

[yorkman]

Well i married a bar girl and i did so because i'm obviously sad and desperate.

What is this bullshit stigma attached to "bargirls"?

obviously..... why else would you marry a prostitute...

[britmaveric]

Well i married a bar girl and i did so because i'm obviously sad and desperate.

What is this bullshit stigma attached to "bargirls"?

obviously..... why else would you marry a prostitute...

You don't know Dave, nor his wife - so I'd be careful in what you are inferring.

[Jeff1]

Well i married a bar girl and i did so because i'm obviously sad and desperate.

What is this bullshit stigma attached to "bargirls"?

obviously..... why else would you marry a prostitute...

I have been here for a little while now and I must say , that is the worst thing I have ever read from one member to another. It was mean , uncalled for and yorkman you are out of line here. Do go back to whatever hole you crawled out from . Nobody gives a crap what you think .