What is your understanding of being married in Thailand?

[Joey J]

thank you paul

i hope it does too,

we get on so well i sometimes think how lucky i am, to be 54 and as happy as i am,

i have one or 2 plans for the future if all goes well, there is a bit of land 10 rai very near our farm that i would like to buy, dig a big pond in the middle, put a few bungalows round it landscape it beautful and start a farmstay,

were people could come and stay there, but also come to the farm to see if it would be the life for them,

could come and spend a couple of weeks, just sit around the lake or get involved,have a couple of m/bikes to rent out, maybe even a car who knows,

but its something ill try,at the moment im jjst getting ready to go to angola tomorow for 57 days,ill do that for another 4 or 5 years, then hopefully fullfill my dream,#

thanks again

jake

you will fulfill your dream because you have a loving wife and family, if you want continue the next step it's up to you, but what you have now should make you feel blessed.

[davethailand]

if you're talking of official marriage with embassy papers we do it for:

10% it's more easy than make 1 visa for her to visit your country and you get life visa painless after

30% to get a marriage visa for you to stay here showing only 400.000b

and 60 because she's pregnant and it's a decent thing to do for the child

if youre talking of why we have thai partners,well change 1 of 40 for 2 of 20 i guess without jugement from others

AND I CAN TELL YOU ISARN GIRLS ARE MUCH TOO FIERCE AND MAL EDUCATED TO MAKE GOOD SERVANTS

I can count on 2 hands how many massages i got with 2 wifes in 12 years

I feel like the servant ....who pays,,,worst.......and do massages ,scatching ,family insurance etc........ . but .... im not in freezing chicago or Paris ...in this mess that has no sense for me any more

Did you mean its easy to get a visa for life if you get married?

[David48]

Everyone thinks they aren't a sucker.

I thought I wasn't a sucker.

But it turned out I was.

50% of married men turn out to be suckers.

So statistically out of you and David, one is gonna get done over.

Please, the two of you keep reporting back, some of us have cash riding on this.

What are the odds currently?

I've got a little bit of spare coin ...

[Blackfox]

Let me say first that the foundation of a marriage is built on commitment, integrity, honesty, and COMMUNICATION.

If you think that most of the Farang men married to a Thai, living in a Farang enclave or anywhere else, really knows how to communicate with his loved one, then you're having a laugh.

I haven't met one in 12 years.

I disagree with your first part, marriage is about having babies & inheritance, nothing else.

I agree with the second part, loads of delusional guys.

And you entirely miss a third part, many older guys here got girls in their home countries when young, and buy them here now they're old.

It's this third part that gives farangs a degenerate standing in Thai society.

Tell me then, why don't the older guys go south to Singapore for love.

1. The girls there aren't interested.

2. They don't have the money.

3. The girls cannot be bought.

4. They are too mediocre to get a girl there, or anywhere else.

Please don't tell me love was the first thing that came to mind when they met their Thai bride to be.

[davethailand]

<script type='text/javascript'>window.mod_pagespeed_start = Number(new Date());</script>

Everyone thinks they aren't a sucker.
I thought I wasn't a sucker.
But it turned out I was.

50% of married men turn out to be suckers.

So statistically out of you and David, one is gonna get done over.
Please, the two of you keep reporting back, some of us have cash riding on this.

What are the odds currently?

I've got a little bit of spare coin ... alt=rolleyes.gif>

Should of bought my bar then.

[Si Thea01]

What an ignorant an arrogant person you are. Know everything do we?

You do seem like one of the smug 'my wife is different' posters on this forum.

And your reply seems to back up this theory (losing it when challenged).

But to be fair, traditional ceremonies tend to be farcical everywhere.

The Thai traditional ceremony being particularly long and tedious.

(Although I have to admit to enjoying the parade with the elephants).

Smug is a word usually used to describe an excessive pride in one's self or one's achievements. You sir, have no ide of what I have achieved, no mention of what I did but I will plead guilty as I have achieved much in my life, and for this I am truly thankful. As for my wife, if I am truly proud of what she has achieved, then I am guilty on the second count.

Of course my wife is different, the same as you are different, if we all came out of the same mould what a boring world. As for losing it, please show me where? I though my responses were reasonably tame.

Maybe you are referring to the use of words, ignorant and arrogant seeing this is the only section of the post you listed. If this is the case then I suggest you learn the definitions before you make such an inept statement.

So you are telling me, and also everyone who reads your post, that one aspect of Thai culture, a traditional wedding, presents to you as having absurd or ridiculous aspects? If you don't know what I am referring, it relates to your use of the word farcical.

Oh, I better apologise to you now for losing it during this post.

Just remember, what the other poster suggested was nonsensical. He has none, nor will he ever have an insight into my private life. But maybe he is writing from his own experiences.

[smotherb]

My advice, if you really love the Asian woman, is to treat her that way. Show her your soft side. Think of her first. Educate her; she will only survive formal education if she wants it too, but educate her to other ways of life. Show her other countries, cultures and people. Expose her to the truth about your past, your friends, family, and financesI think you may be surprised how the thoughts ubber-rich-farang so quickly disappear when the Asian spouse realizes your real situation. No better way to show her than to take her to your country; let her meet your family and friends, see where you lived and worked, let her hold the money and pay all bills. Honesty in a relationship goes a long way.

555, the sucker approach!

Stupid remark

[smotherb]

My advice, if you really love the Asian woman, is to treat her that way. Show her your soft side. Think of her first. Educate her; she will only survive formal education if she wants it too, but educate her to other ways of life. Show her other countries, cultures and people. Expose her to the truth about your past, your friends, family, and financesI think you may be surprised how the thoughts ubber-rich-farang so quickly disappear when the Asian spouse realizes your real situation. No better way to show her than to take her to your country; let her meet your family and friends, see where you lived and worked, let her hold the money and pay all bills. Honesty in a relationship goes a long way.

555, the sucker approach!

Stupid remark

Britman, to be a sucker, one has to be taken.

[mrfaroukh]

You get married only when you have lost your mind and if it is your 2nd time then you are stupid not to learn from 1st mistake

[David48]

You get married only when you have lost your mind and if it is your 2nd time then you are stupid not to learn from 1st mistake

When the time is right for both of us, I'll be happy to marry my Thai Partner ...

Indeed, I'm almost looking forward to it.

[davethailand]

You get married only when you have lost your mind and if it is your 2nd time then you are stupid not to learn from 1st mistake

I lost my mind 11 years ago yesterday then as it was my anniversary, still don't regret doing it, not 1%.

[Gecko123]

Costas:

There are definitely foreign guy/Thai women relationships which have communication problems, mainly because the guy hasn't made much of an effort to learn the language.

But, Costas, one thing I have not seen at all is the Thai wife accepting the role of "obedient servant." I honestly have not seen this with foreign/Thai relationships, and most definitely have not seen this between Thai/Thai couples.

My observation is that around their Thai partners, Thai women are anything but subservient. Many Thai husbands seem to be almost meek and deferential around their wives, and appear to think long and hard before opening their mouths to speak. I can scarcely think of a single example of a Thai man bossing his wife around, certainly never in public. In about 80% of the households in my village, the wife manages the family finances. Also, the majority of domestic violence incidents in my village have involved women assaulting their husbands, not the other way around.

If a Thai woman is affecting (pretending to accept) the role of "obedient servant," I would submit that she could only be doing this for mercenary reasons. I believe that this type of subservient behavior runs completely against the grain of Thai culture, and almost all Thai women would feel humiliated to be put into this position. The myth that Asian women are naturally subservient is just that, a myth.

If there are any guys out there saying to themselves "well, actually, my wife enjoys being my flunky", I'd say take a long hard look at whether your wife truly seems happy. If you don't, a serious wake-up call could be awaiting you in the not too distant future. If you don't care whether she's happy or not as long as she keeps fetching you beers from the frig, well then it's true - - you don't have a wife, you have a servant.

Edited December 7, 2014 by Gecko123

[BritManToo]

Costas:

There are definitely foreign guy/Thai women relationships which have communication problems, mainly because the guy hasn't made much of an effort to learn the language.

No communications problems in my relationship,

I give her money, she let's me shag her often.

No need for shopping together, I have no needs for a servant, companion or mother either.

I'm thinking many foreigner/Thai relationships are the same deal, not much need for language skills.

Edited December 7, 2014 by BritManToo

[David48]

Costas:

There are definitely foreign guy/Thai women relationships which have communication problems, mainly because the guy hasn't made much of an effort to learn the language.

No communications problems in my relationship,

I give her money, she let's me shag her often.

No need for shopping together, I have no needs for a servant, companion or mother either.

I'm thinking many foreigner/Thai relationships are the same deal, not much need for language skills.

??

[BritManToo]

Costas:

There are definitely foreign guy/Thai women relationships which have communication problems, mainly because the guy hasn't made much of an effort to learn the language.

No communications problems in my relationship,

I give her money, she let's me shag her often.

No need for shopping together, I have no needs for a servant, companion or mother either.

I'm thinking many foreigner/Thai relationships are the same deal, not much need for language skills.

??

No, I'm older, white, and don't work in a BK boiler room.

[David48]

Fair enough.

Know where you are coming from ...

[Gecko123]

Costas:

There are definitely foreign guy/Thai women relationships which have communication problems, mainly because the guy hasn't made much of an effort to learn the language.

No communications problems in my relationship,

I give her money, she let's me shag her often.

No need for shopping together, I have no needs for a servant, companion or mother either.

I'm thinking many foreigner/Thai relationships are the same deal, not much need for language skills.

Why not just get a blow-up doll?

[davethailand]

Costas:

There are definitely foreign guy/Thai women relationships which have communication problems, mainly because the guy hasn't made much of an effort to learn the language.

No communications problems in my relationship,

I give her money, she let's me shag her often.

No need for shopping together, I have no needs for a servant, companion or mother either.

I'm thinking many foreigner/Thai relationships are the same deal, not much need for language skills.

Why be in a relationship then?

Sounds like the perfect single life.

[EmptyHead]

Well, this is a tough one.

Married couples of same culture are often miserable together.

The guy may also be suffering mentally as he slowly realizes that he is nothing more than an ATM machine to her.

And as far as serving (each other) goes and taking care of (each other's) needs - it is a two way street and you may not see what she gets out of it.

You really shouldn't judge.

Yes, Thai women are a bit more traditional than western women, but far from obedient - they pretty much do as they please (or at least my missus does, lol).

I do agree with out about the cheating thing - we are generally far more promiscious than them.

For your second question: we are a relatively happyily (unmarried) couple.

Not all lovey dovey like some members here (wish we were)

I am certainly happier with her than my past GF's and she is certainly happier with me than her past BF.

We were more easy going in the beginning, but with the stress of a 2 year-old kid, sometimes nerves are frayed - but it ain't too bad.

We've never had a problem about money. Her family never asked her for a satang (before or after i came into the picture)

Yes, she takes care (very) well, but certainly not my servant.

We always eat together. Do almost everything together.

Language isn't a problem. We have a well-developed pidgin.

After 5 years things are fine. It ain't magical, but that's reality for most (especially after kids). We seem happier than most couples i know anywhere in the world.

It's great if you and your wife are in a lovely wonderland together, but you really shouldn't judge others.