You and your Partner

[elliottm]

Stopped me drinking.

Still weighing up if this is an improvement as I was only allowed 2-3 beers on a Fri & Sat anyway!

[Cypress Hill]

Not to dismiss the value of the positive effect that a good partner can have on one's life but it seems foolish to base one's happiness on the presence of another person.

Better to find happiness/contentment within.

Sounds like someone who has never found a true love

It would only sound like that to someone who'd made a lifelong habit of being a true dependent.

It's the very fact that I'm capable of being happy alone that I've never had issues with the baggage that others often unwittingly allow to colour new relationships.

Love is wonderful but when it's done, you draw a line under it and move on. Easy? Hell no but being content with who and what you are helps in spades

[BritManToo]

Not to dismiss the value of the positive effect that a good partner can have on one's life but it seems foolish to base one's happiness on the presence of another person.

Better to find happiness/contentment within.

Sounds like someone who has never found a true love

It would only sound like that to someone who'd made a lifelong habit of being a true dependent.

It's the very fact that I'm capable of being happy alone that I've never had issues with the baggage that others often unwittingly allow to colour new relationships.

Love is wonderful but when it's done, you draw a line under it and move on. Easy? Hell no but being content with who and what you are helps in spades

There are 10,000s of available women in the Thai lady forest.

You don't need to rely on just one of them.

They are mostly interchangeable.

When you lose one, just go out and stick it in another.

Edited December 9, 2014 by BritManToo

[smotherb]

Not to dismiss the value of the positive effect that a good partner can have on one's life but it seems foolish to base one's happiness on the presence of another person.

Better to find happiness/contentment within.

Sounds like someone who has never found a true love

It would only sound like that to someone who'd made a lifelong habit of being a true dependent.

It's the very fact that I'm capable of being happy alone that I've never had issues with the baggage that others often unwittingly allow to colour new relationships.

Love is wonderful but when it's done, you draw a line under it and move on. Easy? Hell no but being content with who and what you are helps in spades

As I said, you sound like someone who has never had a true love. Why, you might ask? "Love is wonderful but when it's done, you draw a line under it and move on." Is the answer.

[smotherb]

Not to dismiss the value of the positive effect that a good partner can have on one's life but it seems foolish to base one's happiness on the presence of another person.

Better to find happiness/contentment within.

Sounds like someone who has never found a true love

It would only sound like that to someone who'd made a lifelong habit of being a true dependent.

It's the very fact that I'm capable of being happy alone that I've never had issues with the baggage that others often unwittingly allow to colour new relationships.

Love is wonderful but when it's done, you draw a line under it and move on. Easy? Hell no but being content with who and what you are helps in spades

There are 10,000s of available women in the Thai lady forest.

You don't need to rely on just one of them.

They are mostly interchangeable.

When you lose one, just go out and stick it in another.

Now, you're just talking about pussy. I thought we were talking about a whole woman, not just her parts.

[Cypress Hill]

Not to dismiss the value of the positive effect that a good partner can have on one's life but it seems foolish to base one's happiness on the presence of another person.

Better to find happiness/contentment within.

Sounds like someone who has never found a true love

It would only sound like that to someone who'd made a lifelong habit of being a true dependent.

It's the very fact that I'm capable of being happy alone that I've never had issues with the baggage that others often unwittingly allow to colour new relationships.

Love is wonderful but when it's done, you draw a line under it and move on. Easy? Hell no but being content with who and what you are helps in spades

As I said, you sound like someone who has never had a true love. Why, you might ask? "Love is wonderful but when it's done, you draw a line under it and move on." Is the answer.

Well, just because you might find it impossible doesn't mean someone else will.

I'd imagine your baggage bubbles to the surface and impacts upon your current marriage/relationship.

How sad

[ATF]

Not to dismiss the value of the positive effect that a good partner can have on one's life but it seems foolish to base one's happiness on the presence of another person.

Better to find happiness/contentment within.

Sounds like someone who has never found a true love

Understatement of the year.

[David48]

I can agree on two things without hesitation.

Everyone is different.

Plus, no, I didn't use that 'Clown' as, frankly, it personalised the comment to much.

The cartoon said what I wanted to say, without (hopefullly) being nasty.

It is a GoldFish Bowl out there which we all swim in.

Meaning it's better to get on then fight constantly.

[laislica]

[Patsycat]

You're all big soft lumps, aren't you!!!

[laislica]

Reading the current posts about finding inner peace makes me wonder how many did not read Thailand Fever?

I was loaned a copy when I first arrived in Thailand

- it saved me from a fate worse than ......

A snip from the book - Good Medicine for Thailand Fever

(ISBN 9781887521482)

Is one of these you?

• You came to Thailand to travel or work, but to your surprise, you've found love - you're feeling wonderful, but a bit confused and overwhelmed, as the Thai world swirls around you. Everything seems almost too good to be true.

• You've had trouble finding lasting relationships at home. Maybe you're shy, or divorced, or older, or you think you're fat—doesn't matter. For whatever reason, it seems like Thailand is a great place to find your soul mate. Perhaps you've heard that "the Thai women over there know how to treat a man," or that "looks don't count there like they do back home."

• You came to Thailand to hang out with bar girls for a few weeks, but suddenly you find that you are both considering a longer-term connection.

You want to know: "Is this real?" You want to know if she's just taking advantage of you. You want advice on what surprises lie ahead—and you won't believe what surprises lie ahead!

Maybe you've read one of the many fun (but racy!) fictional novels about Westerners who pursue relationships with quiet, dutiful Thai women, but suddenly find themselves miserable, "whipped," sending money, and under her family's control. The real situation is quite a bit more complicated and less sinister than that, but there is a grain of truth to those stories.

For every happy Thai/Western couple, there seem to be a hundred stories of relationships that go disastrously wrong. Shortly after the initial burst of giddy delight fades away. Each partner begins to notice the other getting disappointed or angry over totally unexpected issues (issues that go against "common sense"), and attempts to "fix it" just make things worse.

Each partner starts to resist what seem like unfair expectations from the other, and may even feel exploited or lied to.

Inevitably, there are conflicts over money, support, and the role of mom and dad. The couple's confusion slowly gives way to frustration and they find themselves less and less able to talk things through. Perhaps at this point bound by marriage or children, the couple feels trapped like a pair of chained-together prisoners.

[Daniel Boon]

Reading the current posts about finding inner peace makes me wonder how many did not read Thailand Fever?

I was loaned a copy when I first arrived in Thailand

- it saved me from a fate worse than ......

A snip from the book - Good Medicine for Thailand Fever

(ISBN 9781887521482)

Is one of these you?

• You came to Thailand to travel or work, but to your surprise, you've found love - you're feeling wonderful, but a bit confused and overwhelmed, as the Thai world swirls around you. Everything seems almost too good to be true.

• You've had trouble finding lasting relationships at home. Maybe you're shy, or divorced, or older, or you think you're fat—doesn't matter. For whatever reason, it seems like Thailand is a great place to find your soul mate. Perhaps you've heard that "the Thai women over there know how to treat a man," or that "looks don't count there like they do back home."

• You came to Thailand to hang out with bar girls for a few weeks, but suddenly you find that you are both considering a longer-term connection.

You want to know: "Is this real?" You want to know if she's just taking advantage of you. You want advice on what surprises lie ahead—and you won't believe what surprises lie ahead!

Maybe you've read one of the many fun (but racy!) fictional novels about Westerners who pursue relationships with quiet, dutiful Thai women, but suddenly find themselves miserable, "whipped," sending money, and under her family's control. The real situation is quite a bit more complicated and less sinister than that, but there is a grain of truth to those stories.

For every happy Thai/Western couple, there seem to be a hundred stories of relationships that go disastrously wrong. Shortly after the initial burst of giddy delight fades away. Each partner begins to notice the other getting disappointed or angry over totally unexpected issues (issues that go against "common sense"), and attempts to "fix it" just make things worse.

Each partner starts to resist what seem like unfair expectations from the other, and may even feel exploited or lied to.

Inevitably, there are conflicts over money, support, and the role of mom and dad. The couple's confusion slowly gives way to frustration and they find themselves less and less able to talk things through. Perhaps at this point bound by marriage or children, the couple feels trapped like a pair of chained-together prisoners.

That throws a blanket over pretty much every scenario ... hardly worth the price of the book ...

Leave Thai's out of it and lower the exaggeration of 100 stories and "For every happy Thai/Western couple, there seem to be a hundred stories of relationships that go disastrously wrong" would comfortably fit anywhere ... and reading on, same same ...

[laislica]

Reading the current posts about finding inner peace makes me wonder how many did not read Thailand Fever?

I was loaned a copy when I first arrived in Thailand

- it saved me from a fate worse than ......

A snip from the book - Good Medicine for Thailand Fever

(ISBN 9781887521482)

Is one of these you?

• You came to Thailand to travel or work, but to your surprise, you've found love - you're feeling wonderful, but a bit confused and overwhelmed, as the Thai world swirls around you. Everything seems almost too good to be true.

• You've had trouble finding lasting relationships at home. Maybe you're shy, or divorced, or older, or you think you're fat—doesn't matter. For whatever reason, it seems like Thailand is a great place to find your soul mate. Perhaps you've heard that "the Thai women over there know how to treat a man," or that "looks don't count there like they do back home."

• You came to Thailand to hang out with bar girls for a few weeks, but suddenly you find that you are both considering a longer-term connection.

You want to know: "Is this real?" You want to know if she's just taking advantage of you. You want advice on what surprises lie ahead—and you won't believe what surprises lie ahead!

Maybe you've read one of the many fun (but racy!) fictional novels about Westerners who pursue relationships with quiet, dutiful Thai women, but suddenly find themselves miserable, "whipped," sending money, and under her family's control. The real situation is quite a bit more complicated and less sinister than that, but there is a grain of truth to those stories.

For every happy Thai/Western couple, there seem to be a hundred stories of relationships that go disastrously wrong. Shortly after the initial burst of giddy delight fades away. Each partner begins to notice the other getting disappointed or angry over totally unexpected issues (issues that go against "common sense"), and attempts to "fix it" just make things worse.

Each partner starts to resist what seem like unfair expectations from the other, and may even feel exploited or lied to.

Inevitably, there are conflicts over money, support, and the role of mom and dad. The couple's confusion slowly gives way to frustration and they find themselves less and less able to talk things through. Perhaps at this point bound by marriage or children, the couple feels trapped like a pair of chained-together prisoners.

That throws a blanket over pretty much every scenario ... hardly worth the price of the book ...

Leave Thai's out of it and lower the exaggeration of 100 stories and "For every happy Thai/Western couple, there seem to be a hundred stories of relationships that go disastrously wrong" would comfortably fit anywhere ... and reading on, same same ...

Quite right, the advice in this book applies to any relationship, mixed cultures or not.

Being born in the very early 40's, we were not taught about how to handle relationships.

We only had Parents as role models and, Boy,did they mess up LOL

I doubt if it's any better today!

I would refer you to a poem by Philip Larkin, This be the verse.

(The TVF's naughty words scanner would spoil the poem so here is a link)

http://www.poetryfoundation.org/poem/178055

I loved the words:-

They fill you with the faults they had

And add some extra, just for you.

[laislica]

I think that this thread has been hijacked.

Please play nicely.

The topic is:-

My question to you all is-What has your partner done to improve your life?

If you don't like this topic, maybe open another and leave this one alone?

[Daniel Boon]

what gets me about Thai Visa is the anonymity chosen by so many; like you're ashamed of who you are / where you're from / that you have a connection to Thailand ... and the bitterness of some, particularly in this topic, like cypress hill .... you obviously hate yourself, as that is what you espouse ... ('psychoanalytical pop' what does it really mean?) ... you are unsure or unable to articulate an opinion; perhaps just a combination of other peoples opinions ... I understand, I was like that too (in the past)

people are like a sponge, and what's closest to the surface, when they are put under the slightest of pressure, is what comes out first ... that's called an 'observational analogy' ... no degrees, just watching people

[laislica]

what gets me about Thai Visa is the anonymity chosen by so many; like you're ashamed of who you are / where you're from / that you have a connection to Thailand ... and the bitterness of some, particularly in this topic, like cypress hill .... you obviously hate yourself, as that is what you espouse ... ('psychoanalytical pop' what does it really mean?) ... you are unsure or unable to articulate an opinion; perhaps just a combination of other peoples opinions ... I understand, I was like that too (in the past)

people are like a sponge, and what's closest to the surface, when they are put under the slightest of pressure, is what comes out first ... that's called an 'observational analogy' ... no degrees, just watching people

I agree with your point about anonymity, but this behaviour is true for most anonymous sites.

Keyboard warriors with only moderators to enforce the site rules.

Thank goodness for the moderators, without their control, I would not follow TVF.

Other than that, I choose not to judge posts that seem inflammatory or even disturbing.

I am beginning to understand sites like this and learning to accept it for what it is.

Some of it is really excellent, the advice about visas is wonderful and topics about where to visit etc.

Sorry OP, we have strayed off topic, it was an excellent thread in the beginning.

[benalibina]

laislica, on 12 Dec 2014 - 12:52, said:laislica, on 12 Dec 2014 - 12:52, said:

Daniel Boon, on 12 Dec 2014 - 12:42, said:Daniel Boon, on 12 Dec 2014 - 12:42, said:

what gets me about Thai Visa is the anonymity chosen by so many; like you're ashamed of who you are / where you're from / that you have a connection to Thailand ... and the bitterness of some, particularly in this topic, like cypress hill .... you obviously hate yourself, as that is what you espouse ... ('psychoanalytical pop' what does it really mean?) ... you are unsure or unable to articulate an opinion; perhaps just a combination of other peoples opinions ... I understand, I was like that too (in the past)

people are like a sponge, and what's closest to the surface, when they are put under the slightest of pressure, is what comes out first ... that's called an 'observational analogy' ... no degrees, just watching people

I agree with your point about anonymity, but this behaviour is true for most anonymous sites.

Keyboard warriors with only moderators to enforce the site rules.

Thank goodness for the moderators, without their control, I would not follow TVF.

Other than that, I choose not to judge posts that seem inflammatory or even disturbing.

I am beginning to understand sites like this and learning to accept it for what it is.

Some of it is really excellent, the advice about visas is wonderful and topics about where to visit etc.

Sorry OP, we have strayed off topic, it was an excellent thread in the beginning.

Well hang on a second.

No one's deliberately "hiding" behind the anonymity the internet affords. Most people simply prefer not to use their full name. Is Daniel Boon saying that anyone who doesn't use their real name is some sort of coward?

My first post on this thread was a harmless statement of my opinion on seeking happiness in another.

People are perfectly within their rights to disagree with that opinion but where do they get off psychoanalysing the poster?

What purpose is to be served?

Every self-help book ever written will have a variation on my view so are they all wrong to suggest that it's better to find happiness and contentment within?

Is TV really little more than a mutual appreciation society or support group for hapless love fools who need their later life choices validated?

You seem to be an intelligent guy......

[ATF]

Well hang on a second.

No one's deliberately "hiding" behind the anonymity the internet affords. Most people simply prefer not to use their full name. Is Daniel Boon saying that anyone who doesn't use their real name is some sort of coward?

Do you really believe his real name is Daniel Boon?

I did meet a guy in Thailand once whose real name was Robin Hood. He showed me his passport.

[benalibina]

Well hang on a second.

No one's deliberately "hiding" behind the anonymity the internet affords. Most people simply prefer not to use their full name. Is Daniel Boon saying that anyone who doesn't use their real name is some sort of coward?

Do you really believe his real name is Daniel Boon?

I did meet a guy in Thailand once whose real name was Robin Hood. He showed me his passport.

Young man......chances are, after some easy and quick checking the www......that you are wrong about Boonie....sometimes, before you post, check ....check....check....

[ATF]

Well hang on a second.

No one's deliberately "hiding" behind the anonymity the internet affords. Most people simply prefer not to use their full name. Is Daniel Boon saying that anyone who doesn't use their real name is some sort of coward?

Do you really believe his real name is Daniel Boon?

I did meet a guy in Thailand once whose real name was Robin Hood. He showed me his passport.

Young man......chances are, after some easy and quick checking the www......that you are wrong about Boonie....sometimes, before you post, check ....check....check....

Apologies I didn't recognize him without his hat!

[benalibina]

Well hang on a second.

No one's deliberately "hiding" behind the anonymity the internet affords. Most people simply prefer not to use their full name. Is Daniel Boon saying that anyone who doesn't use their real name is some sort of coward?

Do you really believe his real name is Daniel Boon?

I did meet a guy in Thailand once whose real name was Robin Hood. He showed me his passport.

Young man......chances are, after some easy and quick checking the www......that you are wrong about Boonie....sometimes, before you post, check ....check....check....

Apologies I didn't recognize him without his hat!

Some on here....well........its a pity i cannot use emoticons on my tablet.....

[Crazy chef 1]

this one...

[Lex Talionis]

Not to dismiss the value of the positive effect that a good partner can have on one's life but it seems foolish to base one's happiness on the presence of another person.

Better to find happiness/contentment within.

Sounds like someone who has never found a true love

It would only sound like that to someone who'd made a lifelong habit of being a true dependent.

It's the very fact that I'm capable of being happy alone that I've never had issues with the baggage that others often unwittingly allow to colour new relationships.

Love is wonderful but when it's done, you draw a line under it and move on. Easy? Hell no but being content with who and what you are helps in spades

There are 10,000s of available women in the Thai lady forest.

You don't need to rely on just one of them.

They are mostly interchangeable.

When you lose one, just go out and stick it in another.

The Sexpat's Credo.

[YeahSiam]

What are sinking to this guys's levelfor, CH?.

Just deal with him like you did with tony tigerbkk.

His photo is right there in his avatar; give it

to your immigration contacts and have him

knocked back when he comes to Thailand.

Problem gone

[metisdead]

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