Inviting friends to Thailand.

[sipi]

Last year we invited my god-daughter (my sons god-mother) to Thailand for a holiday. She wanted to come anyway, so we agreed to pay all expenses, airfares included. Renee is well traveled for a 16 year old. Her father is a Dutch Kiwi and her Mum is Australian. She has traveled through most of Europe and parts of Asia. I have worked with her Dad for over 30 years, he is an air traffic controller.

We spoke to her and her parents about Thailand. It is "different". We would like you to see the "real Thailand", if that is ok with you. Yep, all good.

So, I met up with Renee in Australia (my family stayed back in Thailand) and we flew together to Bangkok via a quick stop in Singapore. From there we flew to Udon Thani where we met up with my family. A few days around Nong Khai doing the Mekong sights and Sala Kaew Ku.

Then we headed to our village near Beung Kan for a few days. Ok, the village is nothing flash; but our house is new (rendered brick) and has hot water and air conditioning. She had her own room. She was made welcome, invited to a funeral and was blessed by the local monk.

We went to Pattaya 2 with almost the entire village. The local girls took her in like a cousin.

What happened next was, we had arranged to meet Renee's Dad and her sister in Bangkok which we did; but my son and wife ended up in hospital in Bangkok. So Renee and her Dad and sister were booked onto a trip to Kanchanaburi and the river Kwai, whilst we sorted the family out.

We spent Songkran around Khao San Road getting soaked, eating and buying souvenirs. Lots of fun.

They flew back to Australia after we bid our farewells.

The problem is, they actually didn't enjoy themselves; or so I have heard. Well actually, I have heard little since their return. Not an email, nothing. I got the polite "Merry XMas" email from Dad a few weeks ago. Weird....

Now my niece wants to come and visit. She has seen the facebook photos of my son herding the buffalo.

And some other pics of him shading from the heat..

And has figured that this is the Thailand she wants to see with her husband and infant kids..

I am very disappointed with what happened with our first visitors, but am prepared to try again.

My wife is saying that she has had enough, and don't invite anyone else to visit.

What experiences have you had with inviting friends to visit??

[Baa_Mango]

<deleted>? you wan't a trophy or what ?

People aren't buying what your selling - no worries.

[sipi]

<deleted>? you wan't a trophy or what ?

People aren't buying what your selling - no worries.

<deleted> Did you friends enjoy their stay or what?

Get to the point.

[fey]

Do you mean you took them to Pattaya City?

That's going to be pretty weird for a westerner visiting on a family visit. Disrespectful face losing gesture actually for the wife if your touring the nightlife areas.

Sending the guests off to tour is ok but going with them is a no go, sounds like you stuck with the wife and kid until they were well, definately.

With a Thai wife i would have brought the family as many as i could gather in for a hospital visit, in the best of all worlds but life does not always happen that way.

you likely heard nothing. in that case its really about you feeling uncomfortable for some reason. look at why. proper thing to do would be to have formal thank you notes sent, but aint gonna happen in most cases.

[beau thai]

You were so kind to your visitors- paying the fares, flying out to escort them etc etc, generally treating them like royalty. Like you, I would have expected considerable gratitude to be shown after, including an appropriate letter -and a gift.

This is probably how you would behave if you visited friends and were entertained like that?

My experience here and in other countries with visitors is mixed- some behave as I think you and I would, and some take it all for granted - THEY dont get asked back!!

I sympathise with your wife - once bitten, twice shy, and maybe she assumes that all farang behave like your first visitors.

Only you can judge how your second prospective visitors are likely to behave - but a couple with infant children?? Way too disruptive of life for my taste.

Now if they could leave the infants with grandparents or friends and travel alone, that would be different right?

Best of luck....

[sipi]

Do you mean you took them to Pattaya City?

That's going to be pretty weird for a westerner visiting on a family visit. Disrespectful face losing gesture actually for the wife if your touring the nightlife areas.

Sending the guests off to tour is ok but going with them is a no go, sounds like you stuck with the wife and kid until they were well, definately.

With a Thai wife i would have brought the family as many as i could gather in for a hospital visit, in the best of all worlds but life does not always happen that way.

you likely heard nothing. in that case its really about you feeling uncomfortable for some reason. look at why. proper thing to do would be to have formal thank you notes sent, but aint gonna happen in most cases.

Hi Fey.

No, we went to Pattaya 2, near Khon Kaen. Very family friendly. It was certainly not a "shock" for a 16 year old. Not at all like Pattaya.

Yes, I had to stay with the wife and son at the hospital as you can imagine. The others seemed happy to go off on their own for a bit.

The rest is a bit confusing. I didn't expect any form of "Thank-you", but was surprised to not hear from them again. Maybe we just got busy and forgot...

[sipi]

You were so kind to your visitors- paying the fares, flying out to escort them etc etc, generally treating them like royalty. Like you, I would have expected considerable gratitude to be shown after, including an appropriate letter -and a gift.

This is probably how you would behave if you visited friends and were entertained like that?

My experience here and in other countries with visitors is mixed- some behave as I think you and I would, and some take it all for granted - THEY dont get asked back!!

I sympathise with your wife - once bitten, twice shy, and maybe she assumes that all farang behave like your first visitors.

Only you can judge how your second prospective visitors are likely to behave - but a couple with infant children?? Way too disruptive of life for my taste.

Now if they could leave the infants with grandparents or friends and travel alone, that would be different right?

Best of luck....

Thank you Beau Thai. Nice reply.

No, we don't expect a "Thank-you". Giving is a privilege. But the way it panned out was just strange. The wife is not keen to do it all again.

Cheers..

[Baa_Mango]

sorry sipi

my friends did enjoy the stay.

ALTHOUGH

family who felt obligated (ie. come to thailand and visit me or don't see me ever) had mixed emotions.

easy going people enjoyed it, although my step-mom absolutely was horrified of the whole country ( she is very ignorant and some what bigoted)

Not really sure what you wanted from your gang who had a laugh here but then cold shouldered you later.. maybe your looking for more congrats our pats on back about your life and lifestyle? I know I probably was when I was a bit younger, but thats the thing long term ppl need to understand.. others won't comprehend or necessarily agree with our choices and what not. Fairly confident the context of our situations are quite different though.

[Baa_Mango]

sorry i just read your original post (kinda grazed it earlier) .. the girl is 16 - doesn't know any better to send magic gifts and special letters. !!

[Hedghog]

Dreary,Dreary me.

I wouldn't want that holiday,if you paid me.

Never mind for free.

Agree with your wife, don't invite anyone else for a holiday.

Let them enjoy their holiday alone.

[wow64]

When ever friends come over send them to pattaya next thing they want to move here.. Or a week in BKK they guys love it.. Never said thank you either.. Just told me when they were coming next and how to get job here.

[AnotherOneAmerican]

off topic,

But all I could think was, is that the size of 16 yos in Australia?

[Baa_Mango]

not missing any meals

[Chonburiram]

Thailand presented by an "old hand" is definitively a show stopper.

I always tell friends/family Thailand is a good place to live, but not a good one for holiday...

Edit: Met a few caucasian (overweight) women who didn't enjoy themselves either...

Edited December 13, 2014 by Chonburiram

[sdanielmcev]

Hope your son is doing better.

[fey]

Thailand presented by an "old hand" is definitively a show stopper.

I always tell friends/family Thailand is a good place to live, but not a good one for holiday...

Edit: Met a few caucasian (overweight) women who didn't enjoy themselves either...

cant really blame them with dudes like you around. every conversation eith direct or overheard is some laughing dufus talking about body parts or getting off. turns my night out and i dont fit the overweight caucasian female profile.

[sipi]

off topic,

But all I could think was, is that the size of 16 yos in Australia?

I'm not sure if she is a typical 16 tear old, I don't hang out with teenagers. She does modeling part-time and I have seen her poster shots at the Brisbane airport.

[overit]

We like showing friends here. The girl should have sent an email at least. Not thankyou maybe, but courtesy.

[Crazy chef 1]

nowadays respect and to be grateful is a rare behavior...

may your next guest is more "old school "....

[Gecko123]

Imagine the 16 year old probably had a good time (she's smiling in practically every photo), just hasn't learned all the finer points of social etiquette yet.

The two older folks probably had their hearts set on a "secret" Thailand guided tour, and felt disappointed when they ended up touring the Bridge over the River Kwai, floating market and Khao San Road (all very touristy places). Can kind of understand their disappointment if this is the case.

I'll have to admit I haven't had especially good luck with overseas visitors either. Typical first time visitor can't relate to rural life style is problem for me. Some proclaim to want to experience rural life, but as soon as they get here they want to make a bee line to Pattaya. Have had problems with family members belittling my lifestyle to other family members once they got home as well. Kind of stings after a couple of weeks waiting on people hand and foot.

Edited December 14, 2014 by Gecko123

[neverdie]

off topic,

But all I could think was, is that the size of 16 yos in Australia?

I'm not sure if she is a typical 16 tear old, I don't hang out with teenagers. She does modeling part-time and I have seen her poster shots at the Brisbane airport.

1461190_384706664993801_11887232_n.jpg

What's she a model for? Gorilla Biscuits? Haunted House service?

Crikey !

[n210mp]

Done that, been there and won't be doing it ever again!

The only exception is "friends" that have been proven, sensitive and sensible or certain members of the family that are already known to be mature enough to co-exist in our space without causing friction. (Not many of them)

There are occasions when friends and family wish to visit us where we live on the outskirts of Pattaya and they are very welcome but if they are not of the 2nd para variety then they can stay at the local hotel with us picking them up every day or when they wish and spending days with them but not the sleeping part of the night, they can retreat back to their space in the hotel and we can retreat back to our home for a breather!

The other thing we dont do either is pick them up from the airport unless of course it s a close family member who we are wanting to welcome personally with a hug and a kiss.

Edit to the MODs

I really do suggest a button similar to the like button, IE. a laugh button, which signifies that you had a really good belly laugh at someones post, which like a few in this thread are really spontaneous and funny but also which you do not necessarily agree with or maybe even like!

Not a criticism just a genuine suggestion

Edited December 14, 2014 by n210mp

[Chonburiram]

Thailand presented by an "old hand" is definitively a show stopper.

I always tell friends/family Thailand is a good place to live, but not a good one for holiday...

Edit: Met a few caucasian (overweight) women who didn't enjoy themselves either...

cant really blame them with dudes like you around. every conversation eith direct or overheard is some laughing dufus talking about body parts or getting off. turns my night out and i dont fit the overweight caucasian female profile.

Funnily enough, most caucasian women i met fell in love with Thailand, and the self-confident overweight ones even more.

[Baa_Mango]

ah probably don't need to waste space or time by discussing, criticizing, or whatnot of some random Aussie girl's weight.

I have experienced different things and emotions with people coming over to visit. Old people I noticed had totally different expectations (ie, looking for more of a mexico/dominican repub style sit in resort while poor locals wait on you and hand and food etc.. ) where as younger cousins were up to party and smash the place up. Different experiences but when i was studying and working at the same time it was hard to pull off 3 day benders and what not. not impossible, but hard none the less.

I think, especially for people who live out side of BKK (well lets say who live upcountry) they may be trying to sell certain things or magical lil charms of their life style to their family or friends. I've learned not to be too hands on... or if to plan certain things totally, and let them make their own plans for other stuff. meh age and context plays a big role

[farang000999]

She has traveled all over Europe and is a woman. Are we really surprised that she wasn't impressed with rural Thailand, the heat and some crappy tourist traps you sent her on?

Some of you really aren't very honest with yourselves.

[Neeranam]

off topic,

But all I could think was, is that the size of 16 yos in Australia?

I'm not sure if she is a typical 16 tear old, I don't hang out with teenagers. She does modeling part-time and I have seen her poster shots at the Brisbane airport.

1461190_384706664993801_11887232_n.jpg

What's she a model for? Gorilla Biscuits? Haunted House service?

Crikey !

Unbelievable, disgusting replies from AnotherOneAmerian and Neverdie - this is a friendly thread and you start judging the way the guys friend looks. What are your motives for this ?

OP, I think that your visitors had no idea how your life was like and were shocked that you were living in the middle of nowhere. Had they met your wife before?

[sipi]

She wanted to go.

[Baa_Mango]

and sounds like a spoiled skank at the best of times. free tickets and trip ???!?! the nerve. tell her parents to suck a dick

[sipi]

We have all known each other for years. Her father was best man at our wedding and vice versa.

Visiting rural Thailand is maybe like bush walking or mountain climbing. Looks great on the glossy photos, but not s as romantic when you are actually doing it.

I'll tell my niece to fend for herself.

[sipi]

off topic,

But all I could think was, is that the size of 16 yos in Australia?

I'm not sure if she is a typical 16 tear old, I don't hang out with teenagers. She does modeling part-time and I have seen her poster shots at the Brisbane airport.

1461190_384706664993801_11887232_n.jpg

What's she a model for? Gorilla Biscuits? Haunted House service?

Crikey !

Unbelievable, disgusting replies from AnotherOneAmerian and Neverdie - this is a friendly thread and you start judging the way the guys friend looks. What are your motives for this ?

OP, I think that your visitors had no idea how your life was like and were shocked that you were living in the middle of nowhere. Had they met your wife before?

I am off my phone now and on my computer, so can answer this in a bit more detail.

We spend our time divided between Australia and Thailand, and have a house in in up-country Thailand. Yes, our families have been close for years. They went to our wedding in Australia and we used to often see each other.

They live near the Gold Coast and are well travelled; and weren't interested in doing too much of the "crappy tourist traps" ie islands, beaches, metro areas...

It was their idea to head to our house after seeing photos of the village etc.

The weather was stinking hot, but we travelled by air-con car, ate well, and otherwise stayed in good accomodation etc (including our new house at the village).

It became awkward when the boy and wife ended up in hospital and they had to fend for themselves for a few days, but we made sure they were looked after.

I don't know whether they enjoyed themselves or not, but it would appear not. Thailand looks a lot different on the television, or in glossy tourist brochures when you are at home. Something changed after that. We never hear from them anymore.

Maybe they just got busy and forgot. I'm not bothered by it, but was wondering if others have played host and had similar experiences.

My niece wants to come out now, and definately wants to come to the village. I am close to her and her father (my brother) but don't want this to turn up-side-down. They have never been anywhere overseas. We might just meet up with them at some tourist spot and see what happens.