Why do Thai's (especially the women) have such a false sense of reality concering money?

[Lovethaihowever]

I have to vent a little, because this is something that has really, really, really started to annoy the hell out of me. Why do all lower class Thai's have completely unrealistic views about money? My wife's friend married a Frenchman, moved to France and got a job at the airport. Now I'm not sure what kind of job a badly educated Thai girl can get, but I'm as sure as hell it isn't what her friend told her. Her friend said that she earns 6,000 euros per month and that her husband earns 30,000 euros per month. I said to my wife, 'she's lying', my wife did what all Thai women do and says her friend is not a liar and that it's me who's stupid. Last week we went to visit another of her friends, she says her husband makes 90,000 TBH per month and that her friend (his wife) earns 80,000 THB per month. I said 'if they really earned that much why do they drive an old beat up car and live in a dump a million miles away from where they both work?' She flew into a rage and said 'my friend not be liar'.

This is constant. We even talked about good paying jobs and she said that Thai Air pilots earn more than two million baht per month. I immediately said 'no they don't', one of my friends is a pilot for Virgin and I know he earns good money but he doesn't earn that much in the UK, but Virgin is one of the highest paying airlines and Thai Air pay so badly they can't even keep their pilots. I looked into it and found a pilots forum and I was right, Thai Air pilots are on terrible money and nowhere even close to the industry standard pay. I shown her this and she kicked the computer, flew into a tirade and started screaming about how it's only me who's poor.

I just hate seeing people lied to, and getting false expectations. No matter how many times I tell her that in the UK if someone is earning more than 25k per year it's a good job they've got, she thinks I'm lying because all her friends in the UK earn 25k (uk pounds) each month and all drive Rolls Royces (okay an exaggeration but you know what I mean). I even said 'maybe your friends in the UK are all prostitutes, because nobody I know earns that kind of money except drug dealers and prostitutes'. She flew into a tirade again!

Are all Thai's so completely and utterly clueless as to the real world? I was recently back in the UK for four months and all the Thai's I saw in London all had one thing in common, they all looked desperately unhappy, oh and poor. I haven't told my wife this because I fear she'll fly into yet another tirade.

[mrtoad]

Ok

[pigeonjake]

quote Why do all lower class Thai's have completely unrealistic views about money?

they dont!!

quote

Last week we went to visit another of her friends, she says her husband makes 90,000 TBH per month and that her friend (his wife) earns 80,000 THB per month. I said 'if they really earned that much why do they drive an old beat up car

i earn very very good money in the oil and gas, working at the moment in angola,,

but guess what, i still bought a second hand pick up and a second hand m,bike,

just some of us arnt flash

[samsensam]

sounds like you married a live one!

what gets me about the lying is when they accuse me of lying (falsely) based on absolutely no evidence apart from what's going on in their head or something their 'friend' has told them.

only the other day i was having coffee with an exgf who told me a replacement uk passport cost 100 baht. i said no, it costs about 100 pounds. she wouldnt have it and called me a liar. i said i would show her on a web site the cost. of course she didnt want to know. all reinforcing the reason she got chucked.

she has a good job and can be reasonably balanced, so what upcountry girls are like a dread to think.

[Lucifer]

"I looked into it and found a pilots forum and I was right, Thai Air pilots are on terrible money and nowhere even close to the industry standard pay. I shown her this and she kicked the computer, flew into a tirade and started screaming about how it's only me who's poor."

After this, you promptly dumped her, right?

[Lovethaihowever]

i earn very very good money in the oil and gas, working at the moment in angola,,

but guess what, i still bought a second hand pick up and a second hand m,bike,

just some of us arnt flash

I know that not everyone is flash. These people do not work in the oil and gas industry. They are not owners of their businesses or anything like that. They both have mundane office type jobs and posses no skills and can't speak a word of English. As to the Thai girl living in France working at an airport - Are you telling me a girl fresh off the farm in Thailand can rock up in France, barely speak the language and land herself a 70k job just like that?

I'm just saying these people are obviously lying, Thai's love to 'show power', they nearly all over-egg the pudding when talking about their own incomes. Yes some street vendors will possibly clear a lot more money than people think, yes some taxi drivers will earn a lot if they get a great position.

Do you really think these tales that Thais tell have credibility? Really?

[Briggsy]

Thais lie in order to create the effect they desire or evoke the emotion they want in the listener. In their culture, facts are secondary or totally unimportant. This effect is increased by lack of education. Lying or the presentation of false facts or the embellishment of a tale is expected and not to be questioned. Thai listeners would not point out the obvious fictitious parts of the story even though they knew they were not true.

So, in summary, if your wife were a qualified tax accountant, her lies would be much more sophisticated and subtle but they would still be there to create the desired effect. And if you were Thai, you would notice the lies but counter with your own whoppers to create the effect you required rather than annoying nitpicking, which is what it is seen as.

Edited January 3, 2015 by Briggsy

[ATF]

This is why they fall for so many scams that tell them they'll be making millions if they sign their land over they'll get a great job overseas.

[pigeonjake]

i earn very very good money in the oil and gas, working at the moment in angola,,

but guess what, i still bought a second hand pick up and a second hand m,bike,

just some of us arnt flash

I know that not everyone is flash. These people do not work in the oil and gas industry. They are not owners of their businesses or anything like that. They both have mundane office type jobs and posses no skills and can't speak a word of English. As to the Thai girl living in France working at an airport - Are you telling me a girl fresh off the farm in Thailand can rock up in France, barely speak the language and land herself a 70k job just like that?

I'm just saying these people are obviously lying, Thai's love to 'show power', they nearly all over-egg the pudding when talking about their own incomes. Yes some street vendors will possibly clear a lot more money than people think, yes some taxi drivers will earn a lot if they get a great position.

Do you really think these tales that Thais tell have credibility? Really?

im just saying to you my freind that they dont all lie,,,,,as you said they did,,

the best way is just dont listen, in one ear out the other,

if some one in the village said to my wife and me they earn this and that, i would just say good luck to you,

thats why i told my wife, dont go telling people what i earn, or what we earn from the pigs,

its our bussines,

[harryfrompattaya]

When talks one should remember it dumb to care what a fool and a Moron thinks

[laolover88]

In respect of money Thais appear both remarkably opaque, but also very open. You can ask anyone how much their shop /house rent is and how much the noodle stall makes. But there is a huge amount of face involved. Many Thais we know are quite rich; but they would not want you to know exactly how! And very often they, as with many people in the 'Orient' do not want to display wealth. Sometimes they drive huge cars (HP!), sometimes it is 'family money' often acquired over generations and the accumulation of land with associated rental and other income. Basic salaries are easy to determine poor or rich. How much for a month in 7/11?For managerial positions look at the job adverts in Thai papers and Bangkok Post. (And don't forget 'bonuses') What seems to happen is that there is a "conflation" from the particular to the general. There are plenty of reasonably wealthy people on TV with assets and substantial incomes, as there are anywhere. There seems to be a presupposition on the part of many Thais that 'foreign' wealth is somehow a 'norm'. I should think nowadays many Chinese, Korean and Chinese visitors to LOS are far wealthier than europeans; but the stereotype sticks. In this case looks like there is another 'agenda'!!

[krisb]

You caused her to loose face. That explains the tirades.

Just go with the flow, always always say 'Yes dear'.

[AnotherOneAmerican]

Yep, they all lie about how much they and their friends earn (or given by men).

It's a way of trying to extract more money from you.

What she is really saying is,

"all my friends get more money from their man, than I do, so give me more"

There is a very simple answer to this challenge, call her bluff!

"If you think you can find a guy who will provide you with more, I will be sorry to see you leave"

Works every time with my gf, who is in her 30s and too old to find a new guy (that will pay more).

I'm happy with my gf, but reality for her is, I can find a girl in her 20s for not much more money.

You wife/gf is instantly replaceable in Thailand for a younger one, no need to hang on to the old one.

Edited January 3, 2015 by AnotherOneAmerican

[spidermike007]

You are mistaken. When you used the term all. There are nearly 70 million people here. Do you really think all of them are as ignorant as your gal? Come on. She has her head in the clouds, and believes what everyone tells her. Also, the fact that she does not value or respect your opinion is a sign that she is not worthy of your time, nor attention. Unless of course you have low self esteem, and enjoy being mistreated. Just move on. There are plenty of other gals out there that are far more respectful, and far less ignorant.

[puck2]

@OP, simple answer to your question - lack of education (including mathematic) and role models in the families. It isn't a special women problem.

She believes it. Then facts or reality are enemies of the truth.That's your/her problem.

As proven by the religions over the centuries, facts don't have a big chance against faith/believe.

[thailiketoo]

This discussion reminds me of a stripper I knew in Hurley Wisconsin. I do think it is more a universal issue among undedicated go go dancers the world over rather than specific to Thailand.

[balo]

Just dump her if she can't handle the truth. Stay away from low class girls on your next date.

[georgemandm]

Yep, they all lie about how much they and their friends earn (or given by men).

It's a way of trying to extract more money from you.

What she is really saying is,

"all my friends get more money from their man, than I do, so give me more"

There is a very simple answer to this challenge, call her bluff!

"If you think you can find a guy who will provide you with more, I will be sorry to see you leave"

Works every time with my gf, who is in her 30s and too old to find a new guy (that will pay more).

I'm happy with my gf, but reality for her is, I can find a girl in her 20s for not much more money.

You wife/gf is instantly replaceable in Thailand for a younger one, no need to hang on to the old one.

that is a great and true way when it comes to thai woman

[georgemandm]

Thais love to lie and save face my thai told all the people in the village my new car was hers and in her name no it is not In my name way lie to save face that is why

[georgemandm]

If she keeps on just go get a new mango off the mango tree , thais are like mangos on a mango tree .

[BudRight]

This discussion reminds me of a stripper I knew in Hurley Wisconsin. I do think it is more a universal issue among undedicated go go dancers the world over rather than specific to Thailand.

You're right, but there's also the issue of what causes what...and this is the sort of mentality that causes people to be poor.

[Gecko123]

Do you think your relationship is salvageable?

I have serious doubts.

Sounds like your wife is putting on a 'crazy bitch' act to drive you to divorce.

Much more going on here than just unrealistic expectations about wages and standards of living.

[thailiketoo]

This discussion reminds me of a stripper I knew in Hurley Wisconsin. I do think it is more a universal issue among undedicated go go dancers the world over rather than specific to Thailand.

You're right, but there's also the issue of what causes what...and this is the sort of mentality that causes people to be poor.

Lack of education. Look at all the people on TV who resort to stereotypes in almost every thread. An uneducated farm girl, go go dancer from Wisconsin is not much different than a farm girl from Issan dancing in Bangkok. Rich people get richer because among other things they give their children a good education.

I like bimbos/strippers and have spent a lot of time with them in Thailand and the USA and Canada. The Canadian bimbos are the brightest of the lot but still bimbos.

Although if lost in the jungle definitely choose a Thai go go dancer companion. Not only can she dance to songs in her head; the jungle is like a grocery store to Issan ladies.

[billphillips]

The great come-upance will be when the potential multi-millionaires return home to Thailand. Everyone who has heard the tales of great wealth will be queuing up to present their carefully detailed and woeful stories accompanied by multiple reasons as to why their new found wealthy friend should give them money.

Add to that the constant demands of the family to provide cash, clothes, toys, chocolate, food, a molam or two and of course; copious supplies of alcohol.

Of course the girl in France is probably cleaning the bogs somewhere for minimum wage. It's not possible for her to show "face" by telling everyone that, so she will tell anyone that will listen that she is = the boss of air traffic control, or similar. Totally understandable in the circumstances.

Not all girls believe this stuff, not all girls believe in ghosts, or are scared of the dark, or believe lucky men, or do what the monks tell them to do and some don't even gamble or have husbands or b/f. Some have one or more of the above. It's Thailand ...

[marko kok prong]

You should have told her "your friend Thai to you".

[expatdreamer]

Sorry to say but this does not sound good for you unfortunately. Do you want to go the rest of your life being made to feel inadequate against all her friends and peers because you are "poor" and "don't earn enough"?

I am speaking from experience. My ex farang wife constantly told me how I wasn't earning enough and how all of her friends' husbands were earning more than me, which I knew not to be true in every case. However no amount of reason would make her see otherwise. In the end after years of being subjected to this verbal abuse, you will just feel like saying fine, if you want someone who earns more, go find him - which by the way she will be happy to do if she hasn't already commenced the search. And by the way, my ex farang wife was neither from a poor background nor uneducated. Greed, narcissism and the desire to be one up over your friends and peers has no boundaries across society.

Your advantage as others have said is there are plenty more fish in the LOS sea.

[kkerry]

I was asked last week if I wasn't scared to fly Air Asia now. I replied no, as it was their first major accident in their history. But what about their other two crashes earlier in the year was the response. Tried telling them Air Asia and Malaysian Airlines are two separate airlines but they weren't having it. I said look it up on the internet if you don't believe me but no need, I'm wrong.

My wife sometimes tells me things others have told her about incomes, visas, jobs in Australia and the UK, traveling overseas etc. Stories of unbelievable incomes, owning several Mercs etc. Someone who I thought was quite intelligent even asked me about some guy she met who was working for an overseas bank in Thailand making 10 million baht a month... but no car, living in a one room apartment... sure.... and everyone else married to a foreigner who is always wealthier and more generous than me... but in a way that's good because no-one expects anything much from me

[pigeonjake]

Sorry to say but this does not sound good for you unfortunately. Do you want to go the rest of your life being made to feel inadequate against all her friends and peers because you are "poor" and "don't earn enough"?

I am speaking from experience. My ex farang wife constantly told me how I wasn't earning enough and how all of her friends' husbands were earning more than me, which I knew not to be true in every case. However no amount of reason would make her see otherwise. In the end after years of being subjected to this verbal abuse, you will just feel like saying fine, if you want someone who earns more, go find him - which by the way she will be happy to do if she hasn't already commenced the search. And by the way, my ex farang wife was neither from a poor background nor uneducated. Greed, narcissism and the desire to be one up over your friends and peers has no boundaries across society.

Your advantage as others have said is there are plenty more fish in the LOS sea.

this is a great ponit my freind,

it does happen all over the world,

in the uk its called ,,,,,,,keeping up with the joneses,,,,

some one down the road gets a new car there will be another 3 or 4 go out a get one,, mostly on tick,

get new windows,, others will follow,

its like when one of the freinds gets divorced, she will start ringing your house to ask the wife are you coming out,, next thing your divorced,, this happens all the time in the uk,,,,,, grass isnt allways greener,,, but they never find out till its to late

[samran]

Probably more to the point. Why do you blokes marry these birds?

[arthurwait]

Thai men marry the best marriage prospect they can, the most intelligent and best working woman they can. They keep the pretty little gold diggers in the bar and on the side. The majority of farang men however are yet to learn.