Call Centre Conversations

[khall64au]

Customer: "I've been ringing 0700 2300 for two days and can't get

through to enquiries, can you help?".

Operator: "Where did you get that number from, sir?".

Customer: "It was on the door to the Travel Centre".

Operator: "Sir, they are our opening hours".

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Samsung Electronics

Caller: "Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?"

Operator: "I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking

about".

Caller: "On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states

that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and

telephone Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the number for Jack?"

Operator: "I think you mean the telephone point on the wall".

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RAC Motoring Services

Caller: "Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I am

travelling in Australia?"

Operator: " Doesn't the product name give you a clue?"

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Caller (enquiring about legal requirements while travelling in France):

"If I register my car in France, do I have to change the steering wheel to

the other side of the car?"

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Directory Enquiries

Caller: "I'd like the number of the Argoed Fish Bar in

Cardiff please".

Operator: "I'm sorry, there's no listing. Is the spelling

correct?"

Caller: "Well, it used to be called the Bargoed Fish Bar but

the 'B' fell off".

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Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven.

Operator: "Woven? Are you sure?"

Caller: "Yes. That's what it says on the label; Woven in

Scotland ".

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On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone box

told a worried operator:

"I haven't got a pen, so I'm steaming up the window to write the number

on".

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Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop".

Customer: "OK".

Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?".

Customer: "No".

Tech Support: "OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"

Customer: "No".

Tech Support: "OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until

this point?".

Customer: "Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote

'click'".

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Tech Support: "OK. In the bottom left hand side of the screen, can

you see the 'OK' button displayed?"

Customer: "Wow. How can you see my screen from there?"

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Caller: "I deleted a file from my PC last week and I have just realised

that I need it. If I turn my system clock back two weeks will I have my

file back again?".

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There's always one. This has got to be one of the funniest things in a long

time. I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired. This is a true

story from the Word Perfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a

recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say the Help

Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the Word

Perfect organization for "Termination without Cause".

Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee. (Now I

know why they record these conversations!):

Operator: "Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?"

Caller: "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."

Operator: "What sort of trouble??"

Caller: "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden

the words went away."

Operator: "Went away?"

Caller: "They disappeared."

Operator: "Hmm So what does your screen look like now?"

Caller: "Nothing."

Operator: "Nothing??"

Caller: "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."

Operator: "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??"

Caller: "How do I tell?"

Operator: "Can you see the C: prompt on the screen??"

Caller: "What's a sea-prompt?"

Operator: "Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?"

Caller: "There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept

anything I type."

Operator: "Does your monitor have a power indicator??"

Caller: "What's a monitor?"

Operator: "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a

TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on??"

Caller: "I don't know."

Operator: "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find

where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??"

Caller: "Yes, I think so."

Operator: "Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's

plugged into the wall.

Caller: "Yes, it is."

Operator: "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that

there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one??"

Caller: "No."

Operator: "Well, there are. I need you to look back there again

and find the other cable."

Caller: "Okay, here it is."

Operator: "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely

into the back of your computer."

Caller: "I can't reach."

Operator: "Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is??"

Caller: "No."

Operator: "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean

way over??"

Caller: "Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle -

it's because it's dark."

Operator: "Dark??"

Caller: "Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I

have is coming in from the window.

" Operator: "Well, turn on the office light then."

Caller: "I can't."

Operator: "No? Why not??"

Caller: "Because there's a power failure."

Operator: "A power......... A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it

licked now.

Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer

came in??"

Caller: "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."

Operator: "Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it

up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you

bought it from."

Caller: "Really? Is it that bad?"

Operator: "Yes, I'm afraid it is."

Caller: "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell

them??"

Operator: "Tell them you're too f*%ing stupid to own a

computer!!!!!"

[Lacoste]

This was posted in here before but well worth a read again, i especialy like the last one.

Cheers for that Khall.

[khall64au]

Doh!!!! Was it me that posted it?

[Totster]

I work in the call centre industry ... heard it all... and more tonight no doubt...

totster

[khall64au]

I work in the call centre industry ... heard it all... and more tonight no doubt...

totster

Just KNEW you'd appreciate it Totsy....