What Is Appropriate Amount For Sinsod?

[keda]

I think that this is a total BS. Tradition this, tradition that, if my gf's parents would ever asked for any money to merry her, she would have to choose between me or them and I wouldn't care less if she would choose them. Shoot me, but this is just another thai scam

Odd that Thai 'tradition' tends to leave the farang at the sharp end.

Also, give her the choice of you or her family - and she's gone!

keda

[keda]

OK let me splian most of the time you don't get it back

...And if you, they know you have it, so it'll always be subject to repayment of their loan.

keda

[keda]

A friend married his tg gf of 3 years in Buriram last Thursday (17th Aug). She has his kid of 9 months, they've known each other for 3 years and exclusively for about 21 months.

When asked for sinsod, he offered 50k which was immediately accepted.

Background: She's one of 3 sisters, all pretty, good performers and from a formerly poor though now extremely wealthy family, come to Pty to find farangs. They all now have farangs, and there's another 8 girls within her village family that are similarly secured.

Problem is, she's already said in my presence during one of their weekly turbulent rows that she doesn't love him and stays with him only for his money.I think it is a business, but he doesn't understand the concept.

keda

[Neeranam]

A friend married his tg gf of 3 years in Buriram last Thursday (17th Aug). She has his kid of 9 months, they've known each other for 3 years and exclusively for about 21 months.

When asked for sinsod, he offered 50k which was immediately accepted.

Background: She's one of 3 sisters, all pretty, good performers and from a formerly poor though now extremely wealthy family, come to Pty to find farangs. They all now have farangs, and there's another 8 girls within her village family that are similarly secured.

Problem is, she's already said in my presence during one of their weekly turbulent rows that she doesn't love him and stays with him only for his money.I think it is a business, but he doesn't understand the concept.

keda

I know families like this too, where all the daughters end up with farang from Ptya.

I wonder how the rich father feels with 3 prosssie daughters married to men they don't even probably like?

- very sad

[alexth]

I think that this is a total BS. Tradition this, tradition that, if my gf's parents would ever asked for any money to merry her, she would have to choose between me or them and I wouldn't care less if she would choose them. Shoot me, but this is just another thai scam

Odd that Thai 'tradition' tends to leave the farang at the sharp end.

Also, give her the choice of you or her family - and she's gone!

keda

Well, I've done it long time ago and surprisingly for you, we're still together. Incredible, isn't it? Ok guys, after a time, when the girl gets to understand a little bit from the farang culture too, she suddenly realises that something is wrong with some of the thai "traditions" and gets the point, afterall, it's not rocket science. If she really likes you, she would take into consideration your point of view too.

[a2396]

Get rid of her & tell them to go to hel_l. They will be ripping you off further if you stay with them. This whole idea of dowery is a perversion that amounts to extorsion. I have read elswhere on thei forum that it is NOT customary to give money to her family on a regular basis either. I have "been there, done that/this" and continue to do so. Handing over money has brought me no better relationship. They just ask for more.

[leftcross]

i didn't pay a sin sod, in fact when i met the parents for the first time the wife's mum said 'we are not isaan we do not want a sin sod', which saved me telling them i wasnt going to pay them anything anyway!

--------------------------------

Absolute xxxxx see my reply above she is not issan and i know plenty of thia families not issan who expect a dowry sorry your talking xxxxxxxxxx

how am i talking xxxxx? i was relating a true situation. those were my wife's mothers exact words to me.

at the same meeting, i told her father that i would love her and take care of her forever and he looked me in the eye and gave me a firm handshake and that was good enough for him.

if you pay a sin sot then more fool you. if you love the girl and she loves you then you shouldnt need to have to pay for her. some people leave their brains at the airport

[Donz]

Leftcross, its not stupid to pay the sinsot, if you really like the girl and you are well off, then why not stick with there culture and pay it (alot get it back anyway) But if your hard up for cash then tell her directly there will be no sinsot paid (unless you get it back).

Im ready to pay mine shortly

[leftcross]

Leftcross, its not stupid to pay the sinsot, if you really like the girl and you are well off, then why not stick with there culture and pay it (alot get it back anyway) But if your hard up for cash then tell her directly there will be no sinsot paid (unless you get it back).

Im ready to pay mine shortly

money wasnt the issue, it was the fact i was very uncomfortable with the fact i could have been expected to pay money for my wife.

i preferred to stick with my culture, as the last time i looked in the mirror i was still an englishman.

as it turned out it wasnt a problem anyway.

Edited August 20, 2006 by leftcross

[sbk]

I think that this is a total BS. Tradition this, tradition that, if my gf's parents would ever asked for any money to merry her, she would have to choose between me or them and I wouldn't care less if she would choose them. Shoot me, but this is just another thai scam

Odd that Thai 'tradition' tends to leave the farang at the sharp end.

Also, give her the choice of you or her family - and she's gone!

keda

Funny, someone forgot to tell my Thai husbands Thai nephew that when he married a local Thai girl. He paid sin sot too. And got it back when they got married. Poor boy, guess he didn't realize he was getting the sharp end of the stick there.

And sin sot is not an Isaan tradition, like I said, my husbands nephew paid it, and he's not Isaan, nor is is his wife.

and leftcross, did you ever think to yourself that your bride is a Thai woman and may prefer to stick to her culture? Whatever happened to meeting in the middle?

[Donz]

Leftcross, its not stupid to pay the sinsot, if you really like the girl and you are well off, then why not stick with there culture and pay it (alot get it back anyway) But if your hard up for cash then tell her directly there will be no sinsot paid (unless you get it back).

Im ready to pay mine shortly

money wasnt the issue, it was the fact i was very uncomfortable with the fact i could have been expected to pay money for my wife.

i preferred to stick with my culture, as the last time i looked in the mirror i was still an englishman.

as it turned out it wasnt a problem anyway.

Well thats up to you i guess, 2 different cultures so you can make your own decision, but I will definately be paying mine as i will have 2 weddings, Aussie version and Thai version

[leftcross]

and leftcross, did you ever think to yourself that your bride is a Thai woman and may prefer to stick to her culture? Whatever happened to meeting in the middle?

i told my wife early on in the relationship that i would never pay a sin sot and that if it was an issue we should end things there and then.

[leftcross]

Well thats up to you i guess, 2 different cultures so you can make your own decision, but I will definately be paying mine as i will have 2 weddings, Aussie version and Thai version

up to you mate. good luck with the wedding. i only had a thai ceremony but it was the best day of my life. hope yours is the same.

[alexth]

I think that this is a total BS. Tradition this, tradition that, if my gf's parents would ever asked for any money to merry her, she would have to choose between me or them and I wouldn't care less if she would choose them. Shoot me, but this is just another thai scam

Odd that Thai 'tradition' tends to leave the farang at the sharp end.

Also, give her the choice of you or her family - and she's gone!

keda

Funny, someone forgot to tell my Thai husbands Thai nephew that when he married a local Thai girl. He paid sin sot too. And got it back when they got married. Poor boy, guess he didn't realize he was getting the sharp end of the stick there.

And sin sot is not an Isaan tradition, like I said, my husbands nephew paid it, and he's not Isaan, nor is is his wife.

and leftcross, did you ever think to yourself that your bride is a Thai woman and may prefer to stick to her culture? Whatever happened to meeting in the middle?

What the he_l is wrong with you people??? sbk, that was tradition, he got his money back. What we're talking here is about money that will NEVER, EVER be returned. Showing the money is one, giving the money and never getting them back is another thing.

[Donz]

I think that this is a total BS. Tradition this, tradition that, if my gf's parents would ever asked for any money to merry her, she would have to choose between me or them and I wouldn't care less if she would choose them. Shoot me, but this is just another thai scam

Odd that Thai 'tradition' tends to leave the farang at the sharp end.

Also, give her the choice of you or her family - and she's gone!

keda

Funny, someone forgot to tell my Thai husbands Thai nephew that when he married a local Thai girl. He paid sin sot too. And got it back when they got married. Poor boy, guess he didn't realize he was getting the sharp end of the stick there.

And sin sot is not an Isaan tradition, like I said, my husbands nephew paid it, and he's not Isaan, nor is is his wife.

and leftcross, did you ever think to yourself that your bride is a Thai woman and may prefer to stick to her culture? Whatever happened to meeting in the middle?

What the he_l is wrong with you people??? sbk, that was tradition, he got his money back. What we're talking here is about money that will NEVER, EVER be returned. Showing the money is one, giving the money and never getting them back is another thing.

Yes well im giving mine and wont be getting it back either, i wont accept it if they even offer it

[udon]

Yes well im giving mine and wont be getting it back either, i wont accept it if they even offer it

[Donz]

Yes well im giving mine and wont be getting it back either, i wont accept it if they even offer it

Im glad you have a sence of humor, I think..

[jbaldwin]

I have a 32 year old Thai girlfriend who is a nurse in Bangkok, never married and no children, who has told me her father would want 200,000 Baht for sinsod if we get married. I understand this to custom to be a reflection of the theory that once we get married, she will be considered to be part of my family instead of hers. But she also says that she will want us to give him money every month after we get married. A good friend of mine married a good friend of hers(the wedding took place in the village where she grew up--eastern Thailand) and paid 60,000 Baht. Her friend is also a nurse, but is a couple of years younger, has more education, and speaks better English. My girlfriend told me that if she were to marry a Thai, her father would still ask for 200,000 Baht. I can't understand how the average Thai man could afford this much for sinsod. They have explained to me that because my girl's father lives in Bangkok instead of village, the sinsod is more. I do not make a lot of money, do not own a house, and will have my hands full supporting a wife and children. I hope that I am not being cheap, but the thought of paying 200,000 Baht, then supporting her father with money every month, seems too much. Please give me some thoughts on this. Thanks

The amount depends on the lady's social standing. If she has been previously married, has children or has previously working in a bar the appriopriate level is zero.

The suggested figure would be about right for a masters degree graduate who is still a virgin (or at least who parents might reasonably expect her to still be)

[Donz]

Yes well im giving mine and wont be getting it back either, i wont accept it if they even offer it

I know you find it hard to believe that im a nice guy. But I am

[udon]

I'm not suggesting that you are not.

I'm thinking of one word that is an adjective, a noun, and a verb.

[Donz]

I'm not suggesting that you are not.

I'm thinking of one word that is an adjective, a noun, and a verb.

You know i cant work out that word.

[VanZam]

As far as I was aware, the practice of sinsod is Chinese, and has no history further back than 100 years in this country.

Its quite ironic really, that the whole idea is to show you can take care of the girl, then you give most of your money away to the family...

Most of my Thai freinds who have been married have paid a sinsod of around 10-20,000, these were middle class people with good educations.

I think this practice is just another way to extract money out of the new farang husband.

When I do marry, and gfs family asks for money due to customs, I will be asking them to respect mine also, then bill the father of the bride for the wedding... I'm sure the calls for money will then fade away quite quickly.

[Heng]

Funny that a lot of people have a problem with the 'principle of it - and not the money' when they have to pay, but no issues at all when they pay less or benefit from a tradition.

[Donz]

Stop being a cheap charlie and pay the sinsot if you got the cash.

[rcm]

Funny that a lot of people have a problem with the 'principle of it - and not the money' when they have to pay, but no issues at all when they pay less or benefit from a tradition.

Very true....

[udon]

I'm not suggesting that you are not.

I'm thinking of one word that is an adjective, a noun, and a verb.

You know i cant work out that word.

You're warmer already.

[mark henry]

Hi all, new member here,

nothing particularly new to add here other than my own humble experience.

Married my Thai lady three years ago now, she's from a poor(ish) family in Bangkok, got one grown up child from a previous relationship and in her late 30's (all of which is very relevent when talking sinsod & sending money home). She cost me the following!: 30.000BHT in engagement gold, 32.000BHT Sinsod (about £500 back then) and i send home 5.000BHT every month (about £85 with sending charges). They never ask for more and i'm told what i'v given and send is very reasonable (although i confess it still pains me a bit!)

[Norrad]

Problem is, I don't have that kind of cash. If I cashed in my retirement policies and life insurance, then I might be able to afford 1,500,000 (I'm only 25, so they haven't really got much in them yet)

But I'm thinking of calling it quits, I just got a request for 30,000 Baht to help fix up the family home

My teachers salary is already being stretched to its limit on weekly visits to the parents etc.

[elsie]

2 million THB is simply taking the piss.

[Smithson]

I can't believe the amount of ppl who paid 'sinsod'

I'd also never heard of it until I read it here, I've been here 13 years now. Thais are like most ppl, if you give them money they'll take it.

Like so many other things here it's 'up to you'

You don't have to pay, plenty of Thais rich and poor don't pay.