Thai Wife

[Nakajima]

I think I may be able to give you some advice as a gay man which have had many bisexual partners and know many gays in the closet.

Either she is bisexual or she is lesbian trying to fit in society, the story about "forgiving easy" is all bulls.

If the first is true, to a bisexual one gender can never be truly satisfying. For no matter how much they love someone, hormones tell them differently, they need that other side of their sexuality. As you know, sex is a very difficult urge to resist. Of course she will not be able to talk to you because she knows how you feel. About affection, Thai are not known to be very emotional in that sense. I know of married couple that never hug and kiss.

If your wife is homosexual and she is in the closet, she is doing as an attempt to have a normal life. She cannot love you. I know a guy near my home, gay, married with 3 children. His wife complains of the exact things as you do.

Personally, from what you describe, I think we are looking at case n.2 but I could be wrong.

I could suggest lot of ways to get to the truth, but do you really want to know the truth? If she is lesbian you cannot change her. Are you wiling to leave her or you prefer just to take what she can give you?

About her sexuality, I don't think her age should be a problem if she is really attracted to you.

Personally I would not want to live a lie, but I am young and have my whole life in front of me.

This is something you have to decide, but be aware that pushing the topic further may cause her to break up with you.

I also would try to do everything you can to better your look, work out, become slim, maybe wax your body hairs and try to look more attractive, that should help with sex a lot. Men sometime take for granted women should like them the way they are with no efforts, but they expect women to be beautiful. Well it doesn't work that way, just because you are married you don't have to let yourself go. Keep things as they would be if you were just engaged, keep that passion alive, don't let your relationship turn into a faded marriage.

Just remember, if she is homosexual you cannot do anything about it.

[steven100]

I don't believe your situation is unique ....

I would ask her to lessen & cease contact with her friend in the past and concentrate more on her current family

( you and your son )

If she disagrees then kick her out .......

[KhnomKhnom]

Reading responses, ah more weird Western ideas about romance, love, marriage and so on.

Most Thai women think when a woman hits 40 to 45 she should go to wat and not have sex at all. Just not seemly.

Also, Thai women are not yet fully infected with Westernized ideas of romantic love nor even lots of shows of affection or emotions.

Honor and doing one's duty is much higher on the list. Where have all you typists been, in Brit pub instead of real Thai life?

You guys are still floating in the selfish world of coming here to get a little cute brown servant world which eventually self destructs.

EVERYONE lies to everyone, get over it.

[Nakajima]

Reading responses, ah more weird Western ideas about romance, love, marriage and so on.

Most Thai women think when a woman hits 40 to 45 she should go to wat and not have sex at all. Just not seemly.

Also, Thai women are not yet fully infected with Westernized ideas of romantic love nor even lots of shows of affection or emotions.

Honor and doing one's duty is much higher on the list. Where have all you typists been, in Brit pub instead of real Thai life?

You guys are still floating in the selfish world of coming here to get a little cute brown servant world which eventually self destructs.

EVERYONE lies to everyone, get over it.

what a sad cynical point of view! I feel sorry for you.

Go to any waterfall on weekend and you'll see plenty of Thai teens showing their affection and emotions a lot, they just don't do with people 30 years older maybe.

Or go to any romance chat room on BeeTalk and see how much romantic young Thai can be, how much drama and passion they have.

I laugh at people that proclaim themselves "experts" on what others FEELS!!!!

Your idea of Thai society is what you would so desperately want it to be and stay forever, but wanting or not, is changing rapidly. Does it feel unsettling your "Thai society" is (finally) becoming more and more like the rest of the world?

Maybe soon you'll have to find another country where people just smile and let you believe they are kind with you.

Who's world (or perception of it as in your case) is self destructing now?

[tonypace02]

Sounds like you need a threesome! Everybody will be happy.

There are a couple of other things to consider:

Your wife is 43. Is she menopausal or approaching it?

You don't say the age of the child. Could your wife be suffering from post-partem depression? These problems are more often resolved by dietary or drug changes.

The threesome idea is not so bad as it sounds. I had a relationship with a bisexual woman who had broken her relationship with a former gf. I offered to pick her up a girl from a bar for a threesome. She went for it and did the interviewing. When we got the girl into bed, my girl asked me if I would leave them alone. Reluctantly, I agreed. I never did get any of the other girl that night, but what I ended up in bed with was an amazing transition of the lady I had been living with. Subsequently, we did have the odd threesome every three months or so in which I participated, but which she orchestrated.

But don't take our advice on how to proceed. We can only speak from our own experience, and each woman and relationship is uniquely different. Talk to a psychiatrist. Good luck.

[TheFishman1]

Lesbians belong to there own fraternity , and because you have the wrong equipment , they won't let you join. Now if your lesbian Wife is still talking to her ,then you Should Know that it's not over between them. You said in bed she not really into it that's because she Already Has A Bed Partner sorry Bro it's time to cash out cut the loss and Run. Just my two cents

[8OA8]

Dear Dyke-converter,

Sorry to hear that 100% success rate wasn't achieved.

[Araiwa]

Reading your post is like a deja vu for me. I experienced the same with my ex-wife. She is Vietnamese and developed a lesbian relationship with our neighbour in Germany. We had a son, a house, I had a good job and everything seemed to be going well. As long as we lived in Vietnam, which was for about 10 years, everything was fine. The problem started when we moved to Germany after my contract in Vietnam expired. I went through different stages when I found out about her lesbian relationship. Rage, fear of loss, frustration, whatever. I really tried to win her back, for the sake of our family in particular of our son. I also looked for a new assignment in another country. I took my family with me, we had a nice apartment, good money again, my son enjoyed his new school. In the beginning it seemed that I had won her over again and she made up her mind. Well, she certainly was a good actress. She never stopped to see her neighbour. I was busy working and she and our son went back to Germany during school holidays. Only to meet her lover again. I sold the house, I started to argue with her, I threatened her, she threatened me, our son was desperate. This was going on for about 6 years. After 6 years I called it quits and filed for divorce. The best decision I have ever made. I was blind for many years just because I was afraid to lose my family, to lose my son, to lose my money, to lose my house. It took me a long time to realise that this battle cannot be won. I am not in the position to give you any advice. we don´t even know each other. But for me it was the right decision to leave her and move on with my life. Even I had to leave my son behind with her. Well,working abroad as a freelancer is not good enough for German courts to give you custody for your child. I was 51 when I was divorced. Still enough time to build a new life. Think about it. I wish you all the best.

[Songlaw]

My wife also had a lesbian relationships before me. In some ways though it has added spark to our relationship and I certainly don't feel any jealousy if she 'fancies' another girl. I know people are joking on here about 'three in a bed' scenarios but there is scope to have fun with this to make sure every one is happy.

Please remember that even if your wife has lesbian tendencies (as indeed my wife does) it does not mean that you cannot have a happy life together. Look for positives.

Funny thing that mystery (Lesbian relationship) was thing that attracted me to my wife amongst other things , maybe I am overeacting and there are other reasons her passion not there with me. Maybe I am just to over sexed , and thank you for advice , true there are many positives she is great person , maybe i am one with problem

I am not saying you have the problem, Wisher, but I applaud you for being willing to consider the possibility. You are certainly a rarity among TVF members. Your wife is a very fortunate woman.

[NoBrainer]

Take advantage of the situation. Start taking her out to some clubs, have a few drinks together and start to get her interested in other women / girls. Make sure that there is a lot of flirting and sexual innuendo, and when the time feels right, suggest that you bring the other girl/s to a hotel for some fun.

Just tell her what you want. You only live once, why waste your life being unhappy / unfulfilled? As she has been, or still is, into women, it could turn out to be a lot of fun for both of you.

[Songlaw]

I think I may be able to give you some advice as a gay man which have had many bisexual partners and know many gays in the closet.

Either she is bisexual or she is lesbian trying to fit in society, the story about "forgiving easy" is all bulls.

If the first is true, to a bisexual one gender can never be truly satisfying. For no matter how much they love someone, hormones tell them differently, they need that other side of their sexuality. As you know, sex is a very difficult urge to resist. Of course she will not be able to talk to you because she knows how you feel. About affection, Thai are not known to be very emotional in that sense. I know of married couple that never hug and kiss.

If your wife is homosexual and she is in the closet, she is doing as an attempt to have a normal life. She cannot love you. I know a guy near my home, gay, married with 3 children. His wife complains of the exact things as you do.

Personally, from what you describe, I think we are looking at case n.2 but I could be wrong.

I could suggest lot of ways to get to the truth, but do you really want to know the truth? If she is lesbian you cannot change her. Are you wiling to leave her or you prefer just to take what she can give you?

About her sexuality, I don't think her age should be a problem if she is really attracted to you.

Personally I would not want to live a lie, but I am young and have my whole life in front of me.

This is something you have to decide, but be aware that pushing the topic further may cause her to break up with you.

I also would try to do everything you can to better your look, work out, become slim, maybe wax your body hairs and try to look more attractive, that should help with sex a lot. Men sometime take for granted women should like them the way they are with no efforts, but they expect women to be beautiful. Well it doesn't work that way, just because you are married you don't have to let yourself go. Keep things as they would be if you were just engaged, keep that passion alive, don't let your relationship turn into a faded marriage.

Just remember, if she is homosexual you cannot do anything about it.

One of the most helpful contributions I've ever witnessed on TVF, Nakajima. Nice work.

[realenglish1]

I am in a similar situation but my wife is bi sexual but does not want a long term relationship with Tom.

I have been with her for more than 7 years. The sex is on again off again. She is a stunner and I ask her why she is with me. She looks at me a bit confused and says. Because she loves me .

So I accept it We get along very well. She is a Carrier woman has a great job with a very good income. Never really asks me for much money. Only once in a while when she is caught short.

So she is fabulously pretty, has a good income, is smart, and says she loves me . So being that she could very easily be on her own I come to the conclusion that she must really love me

I accept it and live me life

I guess I am a lucky guy

Sex is not everything We guys are the horny bunch

[henry15]

Its still amazes me, that people have the urge, to trow their private life on Forums. Its amazes me even more, that othe people find the urge to commend or interfer in matters who's of no concern to them.

[Nakajima]

Its still amazes me, that people have the urge, to trow their private life on Forums. Its amazes me even more, that othe people find the urge to commend or interfer in matters who's of no concern to them.

it amazes me how people can be so judgmental and hit reply to add nothing to the discussion but worthless off topic opinions.

"interfere in matters who's of no concern to them" means helping your fellow humans when asked to, try it, it may surprise you how good it is to act like a human being.

[Araiwa]

Its still amazes me, that people have the urge, to trow their private life on Forums. Its amazes me even more, that othe people find the urge to commend or interfer in matters who's of no concern to them.

and it amazes me most that peepers upload comments even they have nothing interesting to communicate

[smotherb]

Thai women most certainly do not forgive easily, or keep in contact with former lovers. The former lovers are lucky if they're still alive.

If your wife is "doing a choir", no wonder she isn't passionate with you. She must be exhausted.

Again, you are drawing boxes which do not encompass all Thai women. My son's Thai ex-gf is still friends with my son and his Thai wife, and she absolutely adores my grandson. My Thai ex-gf, is friends with my wife and my ex-wife. Those are examples of which I am well-informed, and I have observed many other similar situations with friends and acquaintances. To be sure, I have also heard and seen abject jealousy, vindictiveness, and treachery brought about by and ex; Thai and other nationalities.

Perhaps the underlying reason for our success is just the wonderfulness of myself and that I passed it along to my son. Perhaps it is because neither of our exes became exes because we cheated on them, they cheated on us, or they lost their meal ticket when we split. Perhaps it is because the two Thai exes were both well-educated and self-sufficient and didn't consider either of us their ATMs. Perhaps we are just fortunate and others are simply unlucky or naive.

I tend to think it is the wonderfulness of myself.

[wisher15]

I feel your pain bro...enjoy the moment...do not try to read too much into the continued contact...all marriage have different degrees of emotional attachment...you obviously care deeply about her...get on with your marriage and do not fret on what ifs...

thank you 1 of the few positive comments , on my marriage

[wisher15]

I think I may be able to give you some advice as a gay man which have had many bisexual partners and know many gays in the closet.

Either she is bisexual or she is lesbian trying to fit in society, the story about "forgiving easy" is all bulls.

If the first is true, to a bisexual one gender can never be truly satisfying. For no matter how much they love someone, hormones tell them differently, they need that other side of their sexuality. As you know, sex is a very difficult urge to resist. Of course she will not be able to talk to you because she knows how you feel. About affection, Thai are not known to be very emotional in that sense. I know of married couple that never hug and kiss.

If your wife is homosexual and she is in the closet, she is doing as an attempt to have a normal life. She cannot love you. I know a guy near my home, gay, married with 3 children. His wife complains of the exact things as you do.

Personally, from what you describe, I think we are looking at case n.2 but I could be wrong.

I could suggest lot of ways to get to the truth, but do you really want to know the truth? If she is lesbian you cannot change her. Are you wiling to leave her or you prefer just to take what she can give you?

About her sexuality, I don't think her age should be a problem if she is really attracted to you.

Personally I would not want to live a lie, but I am young and have my whole life in front of me.

This is something you have to decide, but be aware that pushing the topic further may cause her to break up with you.

I also would try to do everything you can to better your look, work out, become slim, maybe wax your body hairs and try to look more attractive, that should help with sex a lot. Men sometime take for granted women should like them the way they are with no efforts, but they expect women to be beautiful. Well it doesn't work that way, just because you are married you don't have to let yourself go. Keep things as they would be if you were just engaged, keep that passion alive, don't let your relationship turn into a faded marriage.

Just remember, if she is homosexual you cannot do anything about it.

One of the most helpful contributions I've ever witnessed on TVF, Nakajima. Nice work.

I am politely working on my wife and finally got some facts out of her , when I go Thailand to be with her then I can be positive with her make her fill good about finally opening up . I also heed your advice on fixing my image , herv Sister married yankke guy and he told me he had to lift his game which inturn made his wife more attracted to him , then she put more effort in . Yes I agree Thais do not show much emotion , she told me her family are a bit cold in the emotional stakes , its just they not fussed and hide their feelings so not to bother each other , me I am Europen decent wear my heart on my sleeve;

[Rajhulmaheesh]

I call troll. No man is this stupid.

but then again............................

[wisher15]

Dear Dyke-converter,

Sorry to hear that 100% success rate wasn't achieved.

I think that is very immature comment , we as a couple have good relationship , nothing to do with me wanting to change my wife from having lesbian relationship , as the term lesbian covers many degrees.Facts are she had Thai men before that and they totally stuffed her around so she begun a mutual relationship and set up business with another woman and the had a relationship like anybody else , The fact is it could be guy she was with before so my problem is really the lying and hiding facts , yes with a lesbian situation but people can love each otheer no matter what sex .

[Rajhulmaheesh]

This guy cant be real. He willfully married a lying, cheating lesbian with debt.

Edited January 16, 2015 by Rajhulmaheesh

[rocoa01]

Your situation is not all bad. Ride it out and perhaps things will improve with time. No relationship is perfect and don't let anyone try to tell you that theirs is. If she is hitting all the other areas vital to a marriage then live with it. Communicate and let her how you feel, push for the threesome action and keep being the man you are. If things go totally south in the romance department then get yourself a side chick. Life and romance in general is never as it is in the movies. Best of luck.

Edited January 16, 2015 by rocoa01

[F4UCorsair]

6 posts? Troll?

[F4UCorsair]

This guy cant be real. He willfully married a lying, cheating lesbian with debt.

Agreed.

[sead]

Well i talked to my gf and she said it clear. No it isnot accepted to have contact with ex gf when married to another. The family is just afraid you will leave her and she will engage with ex gf that is bad for her. She doesnt love you. On the other hand i told my ex that if she still want to have contact with her ex gf thats fine with me. No she dont. My gf doesnt lock her phone nor ever hid from what she writes. Maybe its time for you to take contact with some of your exes.

[Nakajima]

I think I may be able to give you some advice as a gay man which have had many bisexual partners and know many gays in the closet.

Either she is bisexual or she is lesbian trying to fit in society, the story about "forgiving easy" is all bulls.

If the first is true, to a bisexual one gender can never be truly satisfying. For no matter how much they love someone, hormones tell them differently, they need that other side of their sexuality. As you know, sex is a very difficult urge to resist. Of course she will not be able to talk to you because she knows how you feel. About affection, Thai are not known to be very emotional in that sense. I know of married couple that never hug and kiss.

If your wife is homosexual and she is in the closet, she is doing as an attempt to have a normal life. She cannot love you. I know a guy near my home, gay, married with 3 children. His wife complains of the exact things as you do.

Personally, from what you describe, I think we are looking at case n.2 but I could be wrong.

I could suggest lot of ways to get to the truth, but do you really want to know the truth? If she is lesbian you cannot change her. Are you wiling to leave her or you prefer just to take what she can give you?

About her sexuality, I don't think her age should be a problem if she is really attracted to you.

Personally I would not want to live a lie, but I am young and have my whole life in front of me.

This is something you have to decide, but be aware that pushing the topic further may cause her to break up with you.

I also would try to do everything you can to better your look, work out, become slim, maybe wax your body hairs and try to look more attractive, that should help with sex a lot. Men sometime take for granted women should like them the way they are with no efforts, but they expect women to be beautiful. Well it doesn't work that way, just because you are married you don't have to let yourself go. Keep things as they would be if you were just engaged, keep that passion alive, don't let your relationship turn into a faded marriage.

Just remember, if she is homosexual you cannot do anything about it.

One of the most helpful contributions I've ever witnessed on TVF, Nakajima. Nice work.

I am politely working on my wife and finally got some facts out of her , when I go Thailand to be with her then I can be positive with her make her fill good about finally opening up . I also heed your advice on fixing my image , herv Sister married yankke guy and he told me he had to lift his game which inturn made his wife more attracted to him , then she put more effort in . Yes I agree Thais do not show much emotion , she told me her family are a bit cold in the emotional stakes , its just they not fussed and hide their feelings so not to bother each other , me I am Europen decent wear my heart on my sleeve;

Just remember lesbian/bisexual may have different taste in what they consider attractive. Things that normal women value such as masculinity, muscles and hairs may be a turn off to her. I know it's a hard advice but: try to make yourself look as attractive TO HER as possible, which may require for you to abandon some characteristic men deeply care for.

Most homosexual couples also have defined roles, for gay we call "top" and "bottom" which identify us as mostly active male partner or the passive female, that usually goes for both sex and life.

I do not know if lesbians use the same terminology, assuming so, if she is a "top" maybe you should try to let her be more dominant both in life and sexually.

I also advice you to get in touch with groups better qualified to help you. Facebook has "groups" that support all kind of people, sometime groups are "hidden" or "private" and may be not easy to find and join. It would be very useful to hear what another bisexual/ homosexual female would advise.

However it goes I really wish you good luck and I think is admirable for you to have the courage to come to ask for advise at this forum, potentially exposing yourself to trolls and all sort of cynics.

You are a cool guy!

Isn't it just amazing how many things we'll always learn from life and each others as long as we keep sharing?

[ScotBkk]

Lucky Bastard .......

Would NEVER marry a Carpet muncher ... neither would he - its a loada BS and is getting the attention it deserves if your gullible enough hahaha

Edited January 16, 2015 by ScotBkk

[Nemesis7]

Wisher15, we can't possubky have everything in life like a picture perfect scene.

We must learn to compromise a bit here and there .

She is the mother of your child and trying her best to take care of you and the family.

I may not really fully understand her reason as to why she is in touch with her ex lover , maybe simply communicating as friends and shares day to day life events as best friends ( that's how girls are) and the lying part maybe from the fear you might get angry and from the fear that you may notbe a ke to understand her and will judge her wrong??

Bottom line is , it's hard to have everything perfect in life all at a time. Try to adjust if you can, and if not...it's your life, you call .

[sir charles IV]

I have successfully converted two thai lesbians. The trick is to play the role properly physically and emotionally. It appears that you don't have what it takes. Your choices are put up with it (turn a blind eye) as some have suggested or walk away. If you've handled it for this long perhaps keep going as you have. As some suggested she's married to u for a) financial security save face c) child. Unfortunately for u love/sex were not included. She'd figured it out when she married u (keep the gf) to complete her overall needs but it seems u just figured it out. Good luck.

[Nakajima]

I have successfully converted two thai lesbians. The trick is to play the role properly physically and emotionally. It appears that you don't have what it takes. Your choices are put up with it (turn a blind eye) as some have suggested or walk away. If you've handled it for this long perhaps keep going as you have. As some suggested she's married to u for a) financial security save face c) child. Unfortunately for u love/sex were not included. She'd figured it out when she married u (keep the gf) to complete her overall needs but it seems u just figured it out. Good luck.

Studies have shown a person sexual orientation cannot be changed, not matter what. Not hormones, not chemicals, no behavioral modification can do it.

Either the 2 women you are referring to were not lesbians, or they just let you think you converted them.

Women can fake arousal they don't have erections that clearly show their state of mind.