funny 'insults from a Thai wife to her western husband' meme

[jspill]

Just got sent this from a Thai friend. Was funny although I let her know that the English parts aren't translated very well. Thought I'd share it here.

Scroll past the below if you want to try and decipher it yourself.

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A farang argues with his Thai wife, kicking her out of his 3rd floor apartment. From downstairs, the wife throws some insults.

"You don't know me enough."

"Get far, far away from my feet."

"I'd like to see you come down here."

"Which part of the woods are we off to?" (implication being he'll โดนฆ่าหมกป่า be killed and buried out in the woods)

"<ai hia expletive>"

"<expletive>, come down here it'll be beautiful."

"farang....!!!!"

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[starrdog]

I seem to recall from the "Speak Like A Thai" series that จะมาไม้ไหน while literally meaning "what stick will you bring?" actually means something more along the lines of "what trick are you using?" or "what are you trying to pull?". That said, I still don't really get the joke.

[jspill]

จะมาไม้ไหน while literally meaning "what stick will you bring?" actually means something more along the lines of "what trick are you using?" or "what are you trying to pull?".

Ah interesting, hadn't heard that before.

[HooHaa]

umm yeah.

[jspill]

จะมาไม้ไหน while literally meaning "what stick will you bring?" actually means something more along the lines of "what trick are you using?" or "what are you trying to pull?".

Ah interesting, hadn't heard that before.

Asked a Thai girl she says it's like, if your friend mistreated you, did something with a hidden agenda, you'd ask จะมาไม้ไหน to mean like 'do you have any hidden agenda?' or 'what do you mean by doing this?'

[jspill]

umm yeah.

จะมาไม้ไหน!!! ไอ้เฮี้ย!!!