Im having pre-marriage jitters

[Suitcase]

Why is it I have never heard of a Japanese, South Korean, or Chinese getting married

to a Thai girl.

Probably because you don't mix with those nationalities.

Plenty of old Korean dudes importing younger Thai wives to Korea, considered disgraceful by the other Koreans.

Loads of Chinese have married Thais in the past, half the forum posters are married to their descendents, China is a bit harder to get out of at the moment, more to do with politics and immigration than desire.

Japanese are totally xenophobic, they don't generally marry anyone except Japanese, happy to set up a holiday home in Thailand with a young Thai girl, buy them a house, buy them a car, pay ALL their expenses, visit for 2-3 weeks a year.

Any more questions about other Asian nationalities?

You really should get out a bit more.

You seem to know more about me that I do myself!

" I don't mix with those nationalities and I need to get out a bit more"

Seems to be a lot of Japanese around Thonglor, Ekamai, and the Emporium Shopping Center.

And plenty of Koreans around the Terminal 21 and Soi 12 area.

You are probably right, I need to get out a bit more!

[Thailaw]

The OP is the most uninspired, unemotional and flatly bored/boring statement I have ever read by a person contemplating marriage about the person he is considering marrying. It sounds more like a consideration for a prospective employee than for a wife. That by itself strongly suggests that this is a marriage that was not made in heaven, and that should not happen. It is laudable to be objective and level headed in decision making, but the issue/question of marriage should have an emotional aspect to it. And the reason given by the OP for getting married is (may be) based on incorrect information. Getting any visa to the US is very difficult for a Thai woman. But, if she can get a K-1 or K-3 visa, she can in all likelihood get a tourist visa, which will allow her to visit the US for up to 6 months at a time on multiple occasions. That should satisfy the OP's "needs" without getting married. Has she tried to get a tourist visa? If she has beyond a high school education, a "good" job, money in the bank (i.e., reasons to return to Thailand), and has never worked in a bar, a tourist visa should be possible. A letter from her employer affirming her honesty, integrity and her value to the company should be of help. If she has applied for a visa in the past and been rejected, that will not (is not supposed to) affect her re-application. Getting a K-1 visa is much more involved and can take up to 1 year to receive. A K-3 visa is more involved still, and many people wait years to receive the visa. You need not be in Thailand during the visa application process (but the process may go more easily if you are here, or you may need to pay one of the visa hack shops to help her through the visa maze while you are away), but you may wait a very long time to be together in the US if the K-1 or K-3 visa route is selected. I can't imagine going through that process (it is not pleasant) for someone I was not "In love" with.

[thaitakeaway]

The OP can't wait to spend more money on his lady and he needs

to justify it by getting married!

If all he says is true?!

I personally think the OP is a troll and you people are all playing into his story!!

(emphasis mine)

Not so. The OP is the same TV member who less than a year ago weighed into an extremely strong defense of the ThaiFriendly dating site, in effect saying that the girl he'd found there was the best thing since sliced bread, or at least TF was.

Anyway, now apparently the truth is dawning regarding this same woman, as push turns to shove.

So to the OP, based on what you revealed in that laborious thread and here, these are the reasons I would say don't do it:

1. You've already previously experienced heartbreak in the LOS including the loss of a decent chunk of THB. Why risk it again?

2. This accountant lass has your permission to keep sending 50% of her income to her extended family ad infinitum. And what about when the pick-up breaks down or mama needs an expensive operation?

3. Do you have the financial backing to compensate for unforeseen costs arising from point 2 above? After all, you are now in TH on a retirement extension. Not saying you are not rich, but you did arc up somewhat about the cost of taking girls on 1st dates.

4. She would like kids but her biological clock is ticking. That puts her at around the 45 mark, and you in the 60-ish bracket. Nothing wrong with those numbers per se, but that's 10 or 15 more years that she will be working, if she remains childless, and you will be at home doing what?

5. Who will emerge on the positive side of the ledger if you eventually get her US residency and a green card? What has she got to lose therefore if the marriage fails after that?

That's enough. I'll retreat to mulling over whether my internet TGF #4 is worth persisting with. 5555.

[jpduggan]

Ya I'd give her a job but marriage Naw.

[Junkyarddog]

I have a Thai wife and a Thai soi dog and I really love my dog. Lock you wife and your dog in the trunk of your car. Come back in a hour and open the lid and see which one is happy to see you.

[williet98248]

I told MY gf that I wouldn't even consider marriage until we had been together at least TWO years. Even so I also told her that I couldn't think of a good reason to get married. I am 72, she is 52 with grown children. We have both been married two times. Do we need another one? She is concerned about her future but I can provide for her through my will. From your post I can't see any reason to get married after only a year; or actually to get married at all. Getting married just so you can get her a visa isn't a good reason. Getting married is easy; getting un-married is really hard. What's your rush anyway? If you need taking care of; hire a housekeeper. If you need companionship; get a pet. If you need sex...well...this is Thailand. At least give it another year or even more. You asked for opinions and this is mine.

[I say]

Marry her perhaps, but stay with her in Thailand. Once you take her abroad the dynamic of your relationship will change, perhaps for the worse. Whatever you do do NOT bring her to the USA. Make that clear to her and see how she reacts. This woman has absolutely nothing to lose from marriage and moving to the States. Her status and desirability will immediately be elevated. Whilst settling in her eyes will be open for something with more passion (perhaps more money). She will meet plenty of Thai women there with advice for her. If she finds something "more suitable", she soon will chose adultery and once she gets the green card she will be gone and you will be left alone. Sorry but I have seen this situation play out more than once. The visa sponsor never wins. If you want a Thai, Vietnamese, or any other Asian woman in America find one there who already has a green card. There's plenty of them.

Exactly right. I have seen it before my own eyes many times. The Thai women in the "new country" will ill advise your "good woman",

I say

[arunsakda]

Why is it I have never heard of a Japanese, South Korean, or Chinese getting married

to a Thai girl.

Probably because you don't mix with those nationalities.

Plenty of old Korean dudes importing younger Thai wives to Korea, considered disgraceful by the other Koreans.

Loads of Chinese have married Thais in the past, half the forum posters are married to their descendents, China is a bit harder to get out of at the moment, more to do with politics and immigration than desire.

Japanese are totally xenophobic, they don't generally marry anyone except Japanese, happy to set up a holiday home in Thailand with a young Thai girl, buy them a house, buy them a car, pay ALL their expenses, visit for 2-3 weeks a year.

Any more questions about other Asian nationalities?

You really should get out a bit more.

Not entirely accurate about Japan. About 10% of marriages in the Tokyo area are international marriages. Yes it seems more western men marry Japanese gals than vice versa but go to any suburban supermarket. You will see plenty of Phillipinas and Chinese pushing prams and cackleing at their kids in broken Japanese. Farmers and fishermen have had trouble marrying, hard work being a farmers wife still, any have been taking Asian brides for years.

The men may be xenophobic but also duty bound to continue the family name...

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Edited January 22, 2015 by arunsakda

[Thomas Hannah]

Job, job, what is her job?

From this we can begin to deduce how she spends her days, what the source of her income is and how much it is.

Also education level please. Thank you.

Accounting clerk with 2 years of university.

she is not telling the truth.she has not been to uni recently.the japs sponsor a lot of uni places,to young people.otherwise.only rich kids go to uni..if she was one of them,she would not be looking at you.you are the meal ticket.she will spit you out,when she has taken everything,she can get,BE WARNED,YOU ARE BEING TAKEN FOR A RIDE.i understand that you are lonly.and need someone in your life.except that it is better to be on your own,and stop dreaming.if you want love and effection,buy a puppy.

[Rajhulmaheesh]

I told MY gf that I wouldn't even consider marriage until we had been together at least TWO years. Even so I also told her that I couldn't think of a good reason to get married. I am 72, she is 52 with grown children. We have both been married two times. Do we need another one? She is concerned about her future but I can provide for her through my will. From your post I can't see any reason to get married after only a year; or actually to get married at all. Getting married just so you can get her a visa isn't a good reason. Getting married is easy; getting un-married is really hard. What's your rush anyway? If you need taking care of; hire a housekeeper. If you need companionship; get a pet. If you need sex...well...this is Thailand. At least give it another year or even more. You asked for opinions and this is mine.

72 and 52 they are just numbers..............hahahaha. Sounds like your gf hears the cash register opening......

Is this for real sir? not a typo?

[smotherb]

Another guy marrying for all the wrong reasons. Great comedy for us nothing else.

You also notice how op gives age difference but not actual age. ThIS is very troubling. He knows it but is trying to avoid the discussion.

I guess by the post op is near senoir citizenship......................hahahaha!

I do not agree with your assessment of the age difference. If the OP is indeed near senior citizenship, say 60, the woman is 45, no big deal. I doubt many age-compatibility problems would exist, or many people would be off put, by the difference in age. It would be a greater issue if he were 35, or even younger, wouldn't it?

[Lukecan]

I would strongly advise you to spend a long time on your own! You have been married for 20 years ( a disaster ) and now you want to go " back into the fire " ??? Why are there so many Guys that have to be in a constant relationship? I have lived in Thailand for almost four years,i have never been in a relationship or had a Thai Girlfriend.( my last relationship was 15 years ago! ) I just enjoy doing my own thing ( " a free spirit " ) Many of you could do with a few years on your own to " discover yourself " before getting involved and ending up in " an absolute bloody disaster " ....

F.J ( " as free as a nok " )

You are one of the smartest and most sensible people here, hats off to you! This is defintely the way to go, no drama, no BS.

[inbangkok]

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Dont do it! You said it loud and clear. You both arent into each other. You want something dependable-get a dog.

Another pro:she has nothing to do with Pattaya...............hahahahaha!

Don't do it, she doesn't like you much, and you don't like her much either.
Get a dog (not a wife), dogs are perfect company for the lonely.

I recommend a Golden Retriever. I have had 3 of them. You will never say all the negative stuff about a Golden that you just said about your fiance.......I promise!

[Southerndrawl]

Dogs are great, sure. but I travel too much to consider getting another dog.

Im just going to take my relationship day by day and see what happens.

[hellohello123]

Job, job, what is her job?

From this we can begin to deduce how she spends her days, what the source of her income is and how much it is.

Also education level please. Thank you.

Accounting clerk with 2 years of university.

Accounting students are the only ones with half a brain

You have higher odds of success than most.

Obviously this one is an exception

Higher odds of posting here in a few montsmhs asking how he can get back all his assets and how she is demanding a settlement of 1m baht

[hellohello123]

Job, job, what is her job?

From this we can begin to deduce how she spends her days, what the source of her income is and how much it is.

Also education level please. Thank you.

Accounting clerk with 2 years of university.

Accounting students are the only ones with half a brain

You have higher odds of success than most.

Obviously this one is an exception

Higher odds of posting here in a few montsmhs asking how he can get back all his assets and how she is demanding a settlement of 1m baht ? Along with taking his house that he paid for

[hellohello123]

I told MY gf that I wouldn't even consider marriage until we had been together at least TWO years. Even so I also told her that I couldn't think of a good reason to get married. I am 72, she is 52 with grown children. We have both been married two times. Do we need another one? She is concerned about her future but I can provide for her through my will. From your post I can't see any reason to get married after only a year; or actually to get married at all. Getting married just so you can get her a visa isn't a good reason. Getting married is easy; getting un-married is really hard. What's your rush anyway? If you need taking care of; hire a housekeeper. If you need companionship; get a pet. If you need sex...well...this is Thailand. At least give it another year or even more. You asked for opinions and this is mine.

72 and 52 they are just numbers..............hahahaha. Sounds like your gf hears the cash register opening......

Is this for real sir? not a typo?

Bbbbbbbbbbbut im so HANSUM+!!!!!!!!