Dear Tech Support:

>>Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed

that

>>the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of

>>space and valuable resources. In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself

into

>>all other programs and now monitors all other system activity.

>>Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0, Hunting and Fishing

>>7.5, and Racing 3.6

>>I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run

my

>>favorite applications. I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0,

>>but the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0. Please help!

>>Thanks,

>>A Troubled User.

>>

>>REPLY:

>>Dear Troubled User

>>

>>

>>This is a very common problem.

>>

>>Many men upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is

just

>>a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM

>>and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!! It is also

impossible

>>to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0. It is impossible to

>>uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once installed.

>>

>>You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not

>>allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings-Alimony-Child

>>Support. I recommend that you keep Wife 1.0 and work on improving the

>>situation. I suggest installing the background application "Yes

Dear" to

>>alleviate software augmentation.

>>

>>The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE because

>>ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system

>>will return to normal anyway.

>>

>>Wife 1.0 i s a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance.

>>Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep

3.0,

>>Cook It 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2.

>>

>>However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will

>>cause the system to launch the program Nag Nag 9.5 and/or PMS 99.0.

Once

>>this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to

>>purchase additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds

5.0!

>>

>>WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short

>>Skirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause

>>irreversible damage to the operating system.

>>

>>Best of luck,

>>Tech Support

555555555555

######, NOW he tells me!

######, NOW he tells me!

Those were my thoughts too.