Serious And Disturbing Email

[lannarebirth]

Call her. "I received an email from Thailand. I don't know who it's from. They said some very disturbing things, but I have no way of lnowing if any of it's true or not. I tried to contact them but they did not respond. It's hard for me to believe. I wish they would respond." Give a pause to give her an opportumity to think about what you've said. and maybe see if she wants to tell you something (if she's your correspondent).

"Is everything all right at home?" Then if she volumteers nothing, wait ot see if you receive another email.

[Tippaporn]

Just curious if anyone can identify whether the insignia on this guy's T-shirt is a police insignia. This photo was taken more than 2 months ago and shows my wife and the man pictured.

[Insight]

Insight,

I think you'll find 'twas Tip who sent the second e-mail, replying to "Steven".

Scouse.

Ah bugger, call me Clouseau

[Jeff1]

Hi Tip,

I too am sorry to hear about this . However you have already gotten alot of good advice and some of the advice is what I would do .

It could just be that one of her friends is jelous and stirring up $hit . If it was me I would not say anything and make a suprise visit like Brit mentioned . Nothing will clear your head enough than going and seeing for yourself . You need to look into her eyes .

I hope it is not true but better to know now . Thailand is not such a bad place for a single person .

Please feel free to call me if you want to talk or we can go have a beer tomorrow if your free .

[Lacoste]

I have enhanced the picture best i can on my computer and it does not look to me like a RTP shirt.

I have a RTP polo shirt and have just looked at it, there is only writing under the crest on mine and not above.

Could be a different style though.

[Tarqin]

Nine pages of this?

Get a PI. Get one now get the best and get every piece of information you can.

Get the Yahoo account hacked. This can be done for around US$200.

Do and say nothing until you have all the information.

If returning to Bangkok be very careful and consider a bodyguard. If your wife is having an affair with a policeman you are a prime candidate for an assisted suicide.

Your 'daughter' will never side with you a farang over your wife a Thai.

Be very very careful.

[Lacoste]

Here are pictures of the crests on my shirts (sorry for the picture quality)

[redrus]

Mate, all I can offer you are my good thoughts and good vibes. I believe this will work out for you.

Keep smiling fella, its hard when your mind races like better than Schumacher but, do it anyway.

redrus

[kayo]

Just curious if anyone can identify whether the insignia on this guy's T-shirt is a police insignia. This photo was taken more than 2 months ago and shows my wife and the man pictured.

Send that pic to these boys here... They´d probably be able to point you in the right direction.

http://www.pica.co.uk/

Lacoste, The RTpolice change the design of their shirts, logo´s and insignia easily, and every sub dept. has it´s own.

i grant you that it´d be easier if they just kept the same little croc over their hearts everywhere, yet, alas, that is not the case.

[alexth]

Tip, just get a PI, that's what I'd do, especially if I wouldn't be in LOS. You'll have to admit that when you're that far away, you have your hands tight. Discussing over the telephone wouldn't be the best ideea either. Just my humble thought...

[Tippaporn]

Just curious if anyone can identify whether the insignia on this guy's T-shirt is a police insignia. This photo was taken more than 2 months ago and shows my wife and the man pictured.

Send that pic to these boys here... They´d probably be able to point you in the right direction.

http://www.pica.co.uk/

Lacoste, The RTpolice change the design of their shirts, logo´s and insignia easily, and every sub dept. has it´s own.

i grant you that it´d be easier if they just kept the same little croc over their hearts everywhere, yet, alas, that is not the case.

Sorry, kayo, that site won't allow me to register. Not sure why.

[Tippaporn]

Mate, all I can offer you are my good thoughts and good vibes. I believe this will work out for you.

Keep smiling fella, its hard when your mind races like better than Schumacher but, do it anyway.

redrus

Thanks, Drus. Buy me a beer, too, will ya? I could use one . . . or quite a few.

[kayo]

google it tip.. There´s 20,000 website for Police badge (insignia) collectors.

[Tippaporn]

Well, PI it is. Now, does anyone have any bona fide recommendations? I'm not sure if it's O.K. to post them here so might be better to PM me.

[Soju]

Sorry if anything I'm saying has already been said. I didn't have time to read fully all the posts but just quickly skimmed over them.

I would under no circumstances do anything to make your wife suspicious that you received the emails or that you suspect something is awry. Absolutely you must find out the truth secretly before doing anything that will compromise your investigation of what is going on. If she is being faithful, there would be no problem if she found out about the emails. But if she's not, she can very easily cover her tracks and also could cause harm to the good samaritan who sent you the emails.

Of course nobody can say for certain what the real situation is, but sorry to be so frank but in seeing other cases similar to this I'd fear the worst if I was you. You will be happily relieved if it's not the case, but you need to prepare yourself for the worst case so you'll have a better chance at thinking logically though this. The one thing that I think nobody save one poster has really zereod on is the $13,000 that she says she lost. This I find to be highly unusual and suspect. You didn't say how the money was lost. I think if you're willing to give the full details on this there may be some clues in that story. You think she's not after your money because she has many opportunities to get to your money but didn't. Don't fall into that trap of believing that. Many guys use that logic and it's completely false logic. An intelligent scamming woman won't go immediately for a small amount of money. She will intentionally lead you to believe that she's honest, knowing that somewhere down the road there will likely be an even bigger payoff. The lost/stolen money trick is a common scam used by women to fool their partner into thinking they're very thrifty with their money. It almost always comes with a very good job of sobbing and long apologies for being so stupid or careless in losing the money.

In your case, I think you really need to consider the scenario where she actually loved you at first, but due to the long absences began to think about the possibility that you don't love her or that you have another wife in the US. If someone else (this policeman you mention) came into her life, she may have fell in love with him due to your prolonged absence. It happens all the time. Look at all the "dear John" letters GIs receive all the time after being gone for a long period, even though they were so sure their woman really loved them. A prolonged absence is very difficult on even the strongest of relationships. She may just not have the heart to tell you because she knows how devestated you will be. There are many people with good hearts and good intentions who end up falling out of love with their partner and falling in love with someone new. You may be completely right about how great of a woman she was and how great of a heart she has, but everyone is human and even the best of people can sometime betray the trust of another. The only person you can ever trust 100% is yourself.

One suggestion I didn't see anyone else mention - why don't you email the sender of the emails and ask for their phone number so you can talk with them. They probably won't give it to you, but on the off-chance they do it would certainly simplify things.

I'm really sorry to make such a negative post, but I really think you have to consider that the worst has happened and then absolutely hire a PI or find someone else who can THOROUGHLY investigate what is the situation and report back to you before you take any action. If she has a new lover, he may not come around all the time. Just checking one day to see if he's present will not be enough.

I know this could very well be one of the most difficult times you've had in your life, but hang in there and try to be strong emotionally. I know it's almost impossible to do, but you need to try. Assume the worst, but never go so far as to convince yourself one way or the other about what is the actual reality. The uncertainty may put pressure on your emotions enough that you just want to force yourself to believe one way or the other without any real proof. Don't let that happen. Ride out the uncertainty until you have positive proof. It could turn out to be a hoax email. Prepare for the worst but hope for the best.

[kalaminsa]

Can't understand why you worry , there must be something you are not telling us ...

or do you really beleive that your wife would be having an affair in front of your father in law ?

or sending you pic's of her lover ?

You appear to be a little paranoid .

[Soju]

Can't understand why you worry , there must be something you are not telling us ...

or do you really beleive that your wife would be having an affair in front of your father in law ?

or sending you pic's of her lover ?

You appear to be a little paranoid .

Actually, a person sending to their parner pics of their lover, or even wanting the three to meet under the guise of the lover being some friend, relative, etc. seems to be quite common. I know of two cases where a cheating wife had several meetings together with herself, her husband and her lover. I'm not sure why that is. Maybe it's just a game they play and they enjoy the danger of the situation. Maybe they subconsciously want their husband to find out but are afraid to tell him directly. Maybe the lover wants to meet the husband and see what kind of a man is his competition.

Having an affair in front of the father-in-law also is very possible. If he's enjoying some of the benefits of a rich farang husband, he may choose to keep his mouth shut. Lots of men wouldn't put up with their daughter doing such a thing, but certainly some would. It doesn't really mean a thing if he's there or not.

I don't find Tippaporn to be paranoid at all.

[Tippaporn]

Sorry if anything I'm saying has already been said. I didn't have time to read fully all the posts but just quickly skimmed over them.

I would under no circumstances do anything to make your wife suspicious that you received the emails or that you suspect something is awry. Absolutely you must find out the truth secretly before doing anything that will compromise your investigation of what is going on. If she is being faithful, there would be no problem if she found out about the emails. But if she's not, she can very easily cover her tracks and also could cause harm to the good samaritan who sent you the emails.

Of course nobody can say for certain what the real situation is, but sorry to be so frank but in seeing other cases similar to this I'd fear the worst if I was you. You will be happily relieved if it's not the case, but you need to prepare yourself for the worst case so you'll have a better chance at thinking logically though this. The one thing that I think nobody save one poster has really zereod on is the $13,000 that she says she lost. This I find to be highly unusual and suspect. You didn't say how the money was lost. I think if you're willing to give the full details on this there may be some clues in that story. You think she's not after your money because she has many opportunities to get to your money but didn't. Don't fall into that trap of believing that. Many guys use that logic and it's completely false logic. An intelligent scamming woman won't go immediately for a small amount of money. She will intentionally lead you to believe that she's honest, knowing that somewhere down the road there will likely be an even bigger payoff. The lost/stolen money trick is a common scam used by women to fool their partner into thinking they're very thrifty with their money. It almost always comes with a very good job of sobbing and long apologies for being so stupid or careless in losing the money.

In your case, I think you really need to consider the scenario where she actually loved you at first, but due to the long absences began to think about the possibility that you don't love her or that you have another wife in the US. If someone else (this policeman you mention) came into her life, she may have fell in love with him due to your prolonged absence. It happens all the time. Look at all the "dear John" letters GIs receive all the time after being gone for a long period, even though they were so sure their woman really loved them. A prolonged absence is very difficult on even the strongest of relationships. She may just not have the heart to tell you because she knows how devestated you will be. There are many people with good hearts and good intentions who end up falling out of love with their partner and falling in love with someone new. You may be completely right about how great of a woman she was and how great of a heart she has, but everyone is human and even the best of people can sometime betray the trust of another. The only person you can ever trust 100% is yourself.

One suggestion I didn't see anyone else mention - why don't you email the sender of the emails and ask for their phone number so you can talk with them. They probably won't give it to you, but on the off-chance they do it would certainly simplify things.

I'm really sorry to make such a negative post, but I really think you have to consider that the worst has happened and then absolutely hire a PI or find someone else who can THOROUGHLY investigate what is the situation and report back to you before you take any action. If she has a new lover, he may not come around all the time. Just checking one day to see if he's present will not be enough.

I know this could very well be one of the most difficult times you've had in your life, but hang in there and try to be strong emotionally. I know it's almost impossible to do, but you need to try. Assume the worst, but never go so far as to convince yourself one way or the other about what is the actual reality. The uncertainty may put pressure on your emotions enough that you just want to force yourself to believe one way or the other without any real proof. Don't let that happen. Ride out the uncertainty until you have positive proof. It could turn out to be a hoax email. Prepare for the worst but hope for the best.

Thanks, Soju, and you were anything but negative. The worst case must be considered along with any hopeful explanations. Otherwise, I would not have presented the last scenario. I appreciate your post.

If I knew one way or the other it would be much easier. The uncertainty drives me mad. That's why I've decide not to waste any time in putting a PI on this. I'll give some time to see what recommendations I receive from members.

[Tippaporn]

Can't understand why you worry , there must be something you are not telling us ...

or do you really beleive that your wife would be having an affair in front of your father in law ?

or sending you pic's of her lover ?

You appear to be a little paranoid .

Thanks, kalaminsa. One can rationalize as best as possible but sometimes truth is stranger than fiction. I've learned to never be hasty in discounting anything.

[kalaminsa]

BTW is it 13000 dollars or baht that she lost ??

I have seen both dollar signs and baht signs here.

[Soju]

BTW is it 13000 dollars or baht that she lost ??

I have seen both dollar signs and baht signs here.

I think that was my mistake. I've never before seen that funny Baht symbol Tippaporn used and mistakenly took it for a $ sign with my poor eyesight.

[greenwood]

She had lost ฿13,000 early this year and could not bring herself to tell me. I learned of the fact through a friend and called. She cried and cried lamenting her error and repeatedly denounced herself over it. I was not upset at all and chose to comfort her. I seldom get angry with her, and I mean seldomly. In truth she gives me very little reason to ever get upset.

How did she loose the 13,000 baht/$, if she is a gambler, you are in big trouble. I do not want to seem negative, but if theese rumours in the email are correct, perhaps it was not her that lost the 13,000 baht/$.

I would be asking the question, does she or any of her family have any type of gambling problems.

[HarryHacker]

You are on the back foot here, however I see no point in hiring a PI at this stage.

My advice, as hard as it is, leave the emotions out of any decision and just sit back and wait for the next ‘hit’ then wait for more of the jigsaw to fall into place.

[Mighty Mouse]

You would never have married your wife if there was no TRUST in the relationship.

Up until you received the email, that TRUST was still present. Don't lose it now.

Everybody needs some type of social contact, lonely wives included. Note I said 'social' contact, not 'physical' contact.

Social contact can come in all forms, from her father, from her friends, from neighbours, and yes, maybe from a local policeman.

A nosey neighbour who witnesses such social meetings may misconstrue this innocent contact into something more sinister.

My advice is to do nothing, other than believe your wife is living her life under fairly difficult circumstances away from the husband she loves.

A strong marriage will soon break down if TRUST is replaced by suspicion.

If however, you feel a strong need to investigate her activities further, you can always plant listening devices in various locations inside your home....but keep in mind, that this action flies in the face of TRUST.

I sincerely hope that all your fears will quickly be proven false.

[meloncoly]

May I ask how she "lost" $13k? Any possibility she could have kept it or given it to a 3rd party?

Did the IP address trace back to Thailand? Any replies from the sender yet?

I hope for your sake it is just a jealous friend, but I wouldn't be too optimistic myself.

[Nam Kao]

Whats really scary about these situations when a wife takes on a Thai boyfriend is the AIDS risk

Alot of the Thai guys I have been around butterfly ALOT and will screw anything not nailed down

and never use condoms, its not even in there vocabulary.

[Mobi]

I don't find Tippaporn to be paranoid at all.

Nor do I.

Tiip, assuming the accusations are correct, it is imparitive you dp nothing to arouse her suspicions or to put the e-mailer in danger - especially if there may be police involvement.

Thai ladies are very clever at going to ground and covering their tracks if they suspect that you might know something.

It is clear that TV members can put you in touch with a good PI who can do the job quickly and discretely.

I can't urge you enough to follow this course of action. Don't jump on a plane and go there; if you meet her on an "innocent" day you will have achieved nothing and forwarned her.

I'm afraid this kind of situation is very common in Thailand. I had an Australian friend who had spent a fortune on his Thai wife, became suspiciuous and hired a PI and discovered she was married to her "brother".

Lets hope the emails are a hoax, but you must find out for sure - as soon as possible.

Hang in there and get it sorted - my heart is with you.

[Head Snake]

This has been an interesting read.

I too had one of those poison phone calls. It came from a falang pretending to know alot of stuff about my tgf.

I asked my tgf about this man. SHe said she knew nothing about him and asked for his phone #.

Well, the guy got a lot of phone calls and soon stopped answering his phone.

He's never been heard of again.

Since then, my tgf and I have had a wonderful relationship. Better than ever.

Long distance relationships are hard but also can be wonderful. I had entertained the thought of hiring a PI but really, I don't have any reason to at this time.

Tip, I wish you the best.

Edited August 23, 2006 by Head Snake

[barryofthailand]

If your wife uses a computer from an internet cafe, and failed to log out the next person using that computer would be able to read all of her E mails to you, and all of your E mails to her. They would also be able to obtain your E mail address and sent this as a prank.

Barry

[Head Snake]

If your wife uses a computer from an internet cafe, and failed to log out the next person using that computer would be able to read all of her E mails to you, and all of your E mails to her. They would also be able to obtain your E mail address and sent this as a prank.

Barry

At 1 AM?