Advice on divorce & custody - please help!

[kojakuk]

Hello all,

I'm in a really bad situation with what looks like an imminent divorce and custody battle on my hands. I really hope somebody can help as I'm going through hell here with worry.

My wife and I have known each other for 3 years and been married just over one year and we now have a 4 month old son. I live in the UK and they both remain there.

The plan was always to get her and the kids a visa (stepson as well) and come here to work, save and then we'd go back to Thailand one day.

After several weeks of arguing on the phone, usually about money, she has now left my son with her sister in Thailand and gone to work in the Middle East, for what she says could be 2 years. She's been intent on working again for the past month or so and at one point was preparing to submit my son's application for his UK passport.

She had agreed that he could stay with me and I would go and get him once his passport came through and then she'd start working again. I should mention that she had changed her mind on coming to the UK as she wants to finish paying for her parent's car (3 or 4 years left on the finance) and get herself some land before moving here. This is the route of the recent arguments as I've completely rearranged my life to prepare for their arrival, including moving back to mum's house in order to save. Not something I though I'd be doing at 32!

Anyway, to cut a long story short I am ready to finish the relationship and file for divorce. Our relationship has been deteriorating since the birth of my son and it isn't good for any of us to be constantly arguing.

Obviously I want my son to come and stay with me and he should be living with at least one of his parents. I have sent regular monthly amounts for him, normally 20/25000 baht.

I hoping that because I have a stable and well paid job, which can be worked from home if necessary, that this will weigh in my favour. I don't own any property though.

My worries are that I do not have an address for her sister, she doesn't speak English either, and that my son could literally vanish. The only address I have is for her parents where she was previously living.

Also as she won't be living in Thailand I wouldn't know where to contact her. She may speak to me on the phone but she won't be willing to travel back for this I'm sure.

I am planning on going to the citizens advice bureau this week to see if they can help as I have no idea on what the process will be or where I stand with regards to custody. Ideally I would like to do everything from the UK until necessary.

Does anybody have any thoughts or advice on what steps I need to take and most importantly where I stand in terms of custody/ Thai law etc.

Thank you in advance, hopefully somebody can at least point me in the right direction.

[paz]

Seems like she did the first move right in what could be a lengthy battle. That is, keeping you on the hook with generous payments toward her family in a country where an healthy toddler is supported just fine with 5,000 Bt. a month, at the same time I suppose that you are unable to come to Thailand for an extended period without compromising your job.

Tactically speaking one move you could try is to reduce payments until you can convince her to go back to Thailand to meet, sign divorce and release custody, for a negotiated lump sum. If you were in Thailand you could even sue her for abandonment (if she has really left country), obtain divorce and win custody at the moment she was to not show up. But you would be paying throughout the nose for PI, lawyers, etc. In either case you could be able to fly back to the UK with your son on an UK passport.

You can try starting working with Thai lawyer and power of attorney, but that would limit your choices at the moment the kid is located and custody fight starts. I would not count on that having a positive income without you in country.

Edited March 1, 2015 by paz