Social Anxiety, Thais Staring at Farang (Reality vs Fantasy)

[elVagabundo]

Hi All,

I'm trying to check myself (and my Social Anxiety) to see how much of my worries are in my head and how many are actually somewhat justified.

Question is pretty simply... For those non-Thai (especially "white") Thaivisa members, do Thai people stare at you a lot? I mean, can you go to a public place without someone's eyes on you?

Public places being: -Walking down the street. Going to and shopping at the store. At the park.... etc.

Back home, I could just tell myself that I was just making it up and people couldn't care less about me... But here, well... I can't help but feel like I shine like a white light.

Thanks ahead of time!

[Oceanbat]

No. But I live in Bangkok. Might be different out of town

OB

[uptheos]

I'm not important enough to be stared at all the time.

[jdinasia]

If you are in a place where they would see white faces with any frequency and you don't have 3 eyes, it is probably you.

(assuming that you are dressed in clean clothes etc)

I live in the countryside and I don't get stared at but the locals know that there are foreigners employed out here.

My motorcycle gets looks whether I am on it or not

[inbangkok]

Thai people in general stare more than westerners. They are not told from the time they are kids how rude it is. It is partly a cultural thing. Don't take it too seriously.

[Geekfreaklover]

I lived upcountry about ten years ago and this happened a lot. It never made me anxious - I just believe that staring at strangers is rude - so I would simply stare straight back at them intensely and smile. It shouldn't make you feel anxious. Thais have no qualms about staring at people. They are simply interested and unaware of what westerners consider politeness to be.

[Sawan Chan 7]

Thai people in general stare more than westerners. They are not told from the time they are kids how rude it is. It is partly a cultural thing. Don't take it too seriously.

They are taught not to stare at their elders. They never look me straight in the eyes for long as it makes them uncomfortable.

[Tywais]

Odd as I've never noticed it at all. On the contrary I find many other Asian countries I've been to, East Asia, SEA and Southern Asia much more stare intrusive than Thailand. One of the reasons I'm quite comfortable here. However, if you are in an area that has little experience with foreigners there is a greater propensity for it to happen but still pretty limited in my experience.

[Issangeorge]

When I first came to my village, a Thai kid was riding a bicycle and ran into a tree he was staring at me so much. He had never seen a Farang before. That was sixteen years ago, hasn't happened since. I'm sure if you grew up in rural Canada in the fifties and early sixties and saw a black person or Asian or Sikh, you probably stared also, because you had never seen one before. The same as here. After a while you just blend in like everybody else. Although in the area I live, deepest Isaan, if I see a new Farang or especially Farang family, I pay extra attention and may state a little.

Edited March 2, 2015 by Issangeorge

[Neeranam]

Social Anxiety sounds like a bullshit term to me. Look at it for what it is - fear - fear of what is the question. Low self-esteem is my bet.

There is word of help out there on the net. One thing I particularly recommend is Paul McKenna App for smartphone. For 3 different things - losing weight, gaining confidence and sleeping well.

Rational or irrational?

People stare at me often as I am tall and 'handsome'. Actually these days they stare more at my teenage daughter, who is half Thai. Now I have the challenge of determining whether they are leering or looking and what a rational response from me is.

I think if you feel confident with yourself, you don't care i others stare. I agree with Tywais, other countries they stare much more, especially India. I remember eating porridge one morning in a restaurant where 50 people were staring at me non stop for 15 minutes but smiling. Now, I might not be so smiley back. I wonder why that is? Different attitude, I suppose.

[losgrad]

Yes, as a minority growing up in rural USA, I often got stares or comments except from my 'redneck' friends and I get similar treatment here in Thailand whether from other foreigners or Thais. You can't fight or question the whole world, so I let it go unless it's a more 'curious' look....

If you have the opportunity and patience, educate the ignorant wherever they may originate.

[h90]

Not many, but it is normal. If someone green color would walk on the street, you would stare as well.

It is normal, we look different, people who rarely see white pinkies look at us. If a Chinese would walk on the street in my hometown, people would stare, they would even stare if a white one, they don't recognize would walk there. And of course they would try not to stare....

So it may happen in places without many Farangs...but it is normal and means nothing.

[cornishcarlos]

I live where there are no more than about 4 westerners in a 15km radius. I run and cycle on a 20km loop from our house, 3-4 times a week. You would think that after 3 years of this the staring would have stopped but nope, still get the "it's an alien" look from at least 3 people per training session

I think it's funny....

[SoiBiker]

I live in Bangkok. Nobody seems very interested in me.

[h90]

Yes, as a minority growing up in rural USA, I often got stares or comments except from my 'redneck' friends and I get similar treatment here in Thailand whether from other foreigners or Thais. You can't fight or question the whole world, so I let it go unless it's a more 'curious' look....

If you have the opportunity and patience, educate the ignorant wherever they may originate.

Well if people are just curious about different look, but not hostile, or negative than I would say it is normal.....Even it is annoying. I don't exercise in the park, because I would be the main attraction here.....But I can understand it that people look at something they don't see every day.

[stat088]

I get Thai customers staring at me every day. Seeing a Farang wearing a suit is not something you see every day in Isaan. Get used to it hansum man.

Edit: Spelling

Edited March 2, 2015 by stat088

[elVagabundo]

Thank you everyone for your quick responses! Definitely seems like I'm not alone in this and that (thankfully) this isn't entirely in my head. Now if I can just take the next step and, as many of you wrote, not be bothered by it.

[elVagabundo]

I think if you feel confident with yourself, you don't care i others stare. I agree with Tywais, other countries they stare much more, especially India. I remember eating porridge one morning in a restaurant where 50 people were staring at me non stop for 15 minutes but smiling. Now, I might not be so smiley back. I wonder why that is? Different attitude, I suppose.

Have to say though, this sounds horrifying lol.

Edited March 2, 2015 by elVagabundo

[h90]

I get Thai customers staring at me every day. Seeing a Farang wearing a suit is not something you see every day in Isaan. Get used to it hansum man.

Edit: Spelling

I get ignored by most of the customer, the others want to exercise their English skills. You really wear a suit in the office? I found them more surprised when I did a production for them myself, because staff went home already. They didn't expect that the Farang can really work with his hands and not only sitting on the table....

[h90]

I think if you feel confident with yourself, you don't care i others stare. I agree with Tywais, other countries they stare much more, especially India. I remember eating porridge one morning in a restaurant where 50 people were staring at me non stop for 15 minutes but smiling. Now, I might not be so smiley back. I wonder why that is? Different attitude, I suppose.

Have to say though, this sounds horrifying lol.

My parents told when they were last time in India, they told and insisted that they want the food really spicy. Result was good food, but the complete staff and kitchen staff made a circle around the table and watched them eating.

They of course could, my mother grow up in India (but isn't Indian). I guess they would have preferred more privacy while eating, lol.

[A1Str8]

They always do it but I like to be stared at.

[kaorop]

has any one got the thai script for "take a picture it will last longer"?

[stat088]

I get Thai customers staring at me every day. Seeing a Farang wearing a suit is not something you see every day in Isaan. Get used to it hansum man.

Edit: Spelling

I get ignored by most of the customer, the others want to exercise their English skills. You really wear a suit in the office? I found them more surprised when I did a production for them myself, because staff went home already. They didn't expect that the Farang can really work with his hands and not only sitting on the table....

All our Management wear suits and all our staff wear uniforms.

[h90]

I get Thai customers staring at me every day. Seeing a Farang wearing a suit is not something you see every day in Isaan. Get used to it hansum man.

Edit: Spelling

I get ignored by most of the customer, the others want to exercise their English skills. You really wear a suit in the office? I found them more surprised when I did a production for them myself, because staff went home already. They didn't expect that the Farang can really work with his hands and not only sitting on the table....

All our Management wear suits and all our staff wear uniforms.

Wow.....I because not in customer contact wear some old clothes, but not dirty or ugly, just not brand new, but no short trouser. Jean and TShirt mostly. (Unless some meeting, than, something like a black jean nice shoes, Shirt) Staff sometimes uniform, sometimes not, but neat for customer contact.

no shoes.

But we are a technical company......Even a short hesitate to touch something that is full of black 30 year old oil will cause problems with me....

Hotel or Bank or only sales would of course something different.

I had sales from big international companies (Farangs) walk into a business meeting with me in short trouser and TShirt. I wasn't aware that someone really wears suits unless necessary.

Maybe time to check if my 15 year old suit is still fitting.....

[arunsakda]

Nobody ever looks at me, in fact I feel invisible. I wear shorts or jeans only and dirty old t-shirts, on purpose, like a teenager. (I also make it a habit one day a week to not wear the white mans' clothes. Substituting a Thai farmers shirt, Japanese Jimbei, white temple garb, or Pajamas). Sporting a $35 Timex, when I can afford any stupid luxury timepiece I could desire. I only wear decent clothes for parties or events, or when visiting temples, banks and government offices.

I do admit I spend money on trainers, and if I am wearing new ones I am immediately noticed and all and sundry ask how much I paid. Quite curious indeed.

Edited March 5, 2015 by arunsakda

[bkkjames]

I am too busy staring at their fannies to notice.

[Bernard Flint]

Thai culture means trouble if 1 thai stares at another, many fights happen that way. So many thai ladies stare at me for my good looks, it does not bother me now

[h90]

Nobody ever looks at me, in fact I feel invisible. I wear shorts or jeans only and dirty old t-shirts, on purpose, like a teenager. (I also make it a habit one day a week to not wear the white mans' clothes. Substituting a Thai farmers shirt, Japanese Jimbei, white temple garb, or Pajamas). Sporting a $35 Timex, when I can afford any stupid luxury timepiece I could desire. I only wear decent clothes for parties or events, or when visiting temples, banks and government offices.

I do admit I spend money on trainers, and if I am wearing new ones I am immediately noticed and all and sundry ask how much I paid. Quite curious indeed.

My wife complains I look like Farang-kee-nok...means something like bird sh*t Farang without money. But I guess I attract less bad guys with a 20-100K Baht in my pocket.

Than I also attract the last attention.

Beside that a lot Thais are doing it...Have a few very rich customer, come on the old motorbike in short trouser (thais), this specific one has 1000 staff and of course some brand new super expensive Mercedes but comes himself to buy something for a few hundred baht....

[Neeranam]

Nobody ever looks at me, in fact I feel invisible. I wear shorts or jeans only and dirty old t-shirts, on purpose, like a teenager. (I also make it a habit one day a week to not wear the white mans' clothes. Substituting a Thai farmers shirt, Japanese Jimbei, white temple garb, or Pajamas). Sporting a $35 Timex, when I can afford any stupid luxury timepiece I could desire. I only wear decent clothes for parties or events, or when visiting temples, banks and government offices.

I do admit I spend money on trainers, and if I am wearing new ones I am immediately noticed and all and sundry ask how much I paid. Quite curious indeed.

My wife complains I look like Farang-kee-nok...means something like bird sh*t Farang without money. But I guess I attract less bad guys with a 20-100K Baht in my pocket.

Than I also attract the last attention.

Beside that a lot Thais are doing it...Have a few very rich customer, come on the old motorbike in short trouser (thais), this specific one has 1000 staff and of course some brand new super expensive Mercedes but comes himself to buy something for a few hundred baht....

She probably means "farang kee ngok" which doesn't mean anything to do with shit. kee is a word meaning "a tendency to be" = like kee neeow = stingy(nothing to do with shit), kee giat - lazy, kee heuy - crazy about, kee leum - forgetful.

kee means "tendency to be" and ngok means 'thrifty' ขี้งก

Edited March 5, 2015 by Neeranam

[scoutman360]

Living in Bangkok, I can tell you, 10 yrs ago I would get stared at a lot by Thai girls. Today, no one will look me in the eye. Maybe my "handsome" looks have all but disappeared, or maybe Thai people have changed in that they take on western traits and no longer have the "land of smiles" personality. It's a sad shame, really.