Where Would Thai Wife Be Happiest

[gbt71fa]

My thai fiance' are in the process of K1 visa application. I now have the oppurtunity to choose where in the U.S. I want to work. My question to all of you married to thais is this: should I move to a place with a large asian community (such as a china town section or something similar)? I know that when I lived in Thailand I would go batty after awhile if I didn't get some western food in me or talk to anybody who spoke the english language. Every now and then you need the Double decker whopper at Burger King!!! Does anybody have any experience with this with their thai mates? I think she might get a little lonely without any asian culture or somebody to talk to. Even if that someone is chinese, at least it is from her part of the world. Also, no freakin' remarks from you Brits out there contesting that us Yanks don't speak anything close to the English language!

Edited August 29, 2006 by gbt71fa

[mittheimp]

My thai fiance' are in the process of K1 visa application. I now have the oppurtunity to choose where in the U.S. I want to work. My question to all of you married to thais is this: should I move to a place with a large asian community (such as a china town section or something similar)? I know that when I lived in Thailand I would go batty after awhile if I didn't get some western food in me or talk to anybody who spoke the english language. Every now and then you need the Double decker whopper at Burger King!!! Does anybody have any experience with this with their thai mates? I think she might get a little lonely without any asian culture or somebody to talk to. Even if that someone is chinese, at least it is from her part of the world. Also, no freakin' remarks from you Brits out there contesting that us Yanks don't speak anything close to the English language!

I don't think there is that much cultural common ground between the Chinese and Thai communities - apart from food.

Try LA, she'll find Thai friends there!

[gbt71fa]

I don't think there is that much cultural common ground between the Chinese and Thai communities - apart from food.

Try LA, she'll find Thai friends there!

I will have to look into that. An ex-Army buddy of mine (a Korean-American) said the same thing. My only problem is...that it is LA. How about Frisco (almost as worst) or up in the Pacific Southwest-like Seattle?

[jdinasia]

LA I believe has the largest Thai community outside of Thailand

[gbt71fa]

LA I believe has the largest Thai community outside of Thailand

Dagnabbit! Well, that is one of places that I can work, too...hey, they do have Disneyland there so it can't be half bad...and I know that have Bhuddist temples that she can go too. That part is important for her I know.

[egeefay]

28 years ago my Thai wife , (well educated and from a middle class background) came to the US for the first time.

We lived in a small community in California. No Thais. A few Asians. My wife was forced to learn English quickly and adapt to the American food and culture. It was a real adjustment at first because she hardly had anyone she could communicate with. She spent a lot of time watching soap operas on TV and began to pick up the English language quickly. It helped a lot when our daughter was born because being a full time mother gave her something to keep her busy all the time and she didn't feel so lonely.

Today my wife is an American citizen and more comfortable in the United States than in Thailand. Most of her friends are American...or Asian American. Our daughter is a typical American kid who speaks no Thai. We don't live near any Thais but we have Thai friends who live 3 hours away. My wife has become very accustomed to the way of life in the United States and whenever we visit Thailand she has to make lots of adjustments

Contrast that to my wife's sister who came to the United States about 4 years ago. Her sister moved into a Thai community in LA, eats only Thai food, speaks Thai all day, watches Thai TV at night, goes to the Thai Wat on holidays, hangs around Thais and has no American friends. Nice thing is ...she didn't have to make many adjustments. It's almost like she is still living in Thailand.

Which is better? Depends. If your Thai wife is easy going , makes friends easily and can adapt to other ways of living, I'd take her somewhere that doesn't have a big Thai community. The first couple of years will be tough with all the adjustments. But as time goes on I think she'll fit right in and start to feel she has a new home.

On the other hand, if she's only comfortable around people of like mind, doesn't enjoy challenges, has a hard time with languages, western food, she might do better somewhere where there are more Thais that she can befriend. It makes the transition smoother...but a lot slower.

Edited August 29, 2006 by egeefay

[kojac_phx]

LA I believe has the largest Thai community outside of Thailand

Dagnabbit! Well, that is one of places that I can work, too...hey, they do have Disneyland there so it can't be half bad...and I know that have Bhuddist temples that she can go too. That part is important for her I know.

There are Thai temples many places in the US. Check out http://www.thaiembdc.org/directry/wat_e.htm California definitely has the most, but where there are Thai temples.....

-KoJaC

[k2bikerider]

I know this from experience, don't try to choose your Wifes friends, and my wife says that she doesn't want to join a Thai association or anything like that as there is too much gossip in those groups. she just has met some Thai friends locally(Atlanta Area) and keeps to themselves as she says that it seems as all of your business is in the open if you are involved too closely with too many Thai people in "Farang Land" she is happy we don't live in LA or a community with alot of Asian people, Just adding my experience.. I just left it up to her, but she may not be the typical Thai, as she was educated in Singapore, and Undergrad in Thailand, with MBA in USA(Atlanta) but just my experience.

K2bikerider

Edited September 25, 2006 by k2bikerider

[zoltannyc]

I guess I'm in the same shoes as k2bikerider my wife is well educated (2 masters, fluent in english and works full time) and does not want to do much with thai people here, we went once for a thai fair and she did not like it too much, thai temple ditto....one thing is important for her to have good thai food once in a while and getting groceries for her own cooking....

[Gumballl]

LA I believe has the largest Thai community outside of Thailand

Dagnabbit! Well, that is one of places that I can work, too...hey, they do have Disneyland there so it can't be half bad...and I know that have Bhuddist temples that she can go too. That part is important for her I know.

I used to live in Redondo Beach, about 30 miles southwest of downtown LA, yet still in the same county. My ex-wife (who was Thai) never appeared have a problem. She was able to go to the Asian market (near the intersection of Vermont & Artesia) to buy her food stuff, and there were at least 4 to 5 different Thai restuarants in the general vicinity of our home. Amazingly, she also liked going to Baja Fresh for mexican fast-food.

Driving time from RB to to the Thai Consulate (and Thai town) was a cinch. Took about 30-45 minutes.

At this moment, I live in Ft. Wayne, IN. What a bore this place is! Even for a caucasian. I hate to bring my new/second wife (who is also Thai) here.

Anyways, I personally would choose the Southern CA area. Screw what the critics say about traffic, cost, etc, etc. For me, a diverse community is the best for a foreigner to live in. It gives them confidence when they see other foreigners (regardless of nationality) making the adjustment to American culture. As for me, it gives me insight into other cultures.

Edited September 25, 2006 by Gumballl

[kiakaha]

My thai fiance' are in the process of K1 visa application. I now have the oppurtunity to choose where in the U.S. I want to work. My question to all of you married to thais is this: should I move to a place with a large asian community (such as a china town section or something similar)? I know that when I lived in Thailand I would go batty after awhile if I didn't get some western food in me or talk to anybody who spoke the english language. Every now and then you need the Double decker whopper at Burger King!!! Does anybody have any experience with this with their thai mates? I think she might get a little lonely without any asian culture or somebody to talk to. Even if that someone is chinese, at least it is from her part of the world. Also, no freakin' remarks from you Brits out there contesting that us Yanks don't speak anything close to the English language!

really depends on the thai in question.

is she a rhodes scholar or a peanut vendor ?

[Nam Kao]

Well for me it was finding a supply of Thai food for her when she came to the US. Her first

day in the US i took her to a Thai restaurant, it was fun. She met some thai girls here but said

she did not like them because "they act like they big money now they stay America". She is

from the boondocks and poor.

She went out and found a job in an expensive french restaurant in less than a week. She spoke

little english but i am sure they hired her because she is absolutely beautiful and kind hearted.

I melted when i first met her.

So on week 2 i sat her down and asked her "ok what you want to do? you want friends?

you want a car?" She said "no my job stay home take care husband". Well after many years

experience with lady farangs I stood up and said "you wait here" and i went went outside, fell

to the ground and grabbed 2 handfuls of earth and yelled "THANK YOU GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Since then i have basking in the sun taking her out and having US guys jealous staring at her

and lady farangs super jealous, i know it sounds shallow but its fun

Good luck

nam

[migrant]

My Thai fiance has lived here in Southern California 10 years. Excellent english, works 2 jobs and just finished up school.

LA is about 30 minutes without traffic, but here in Orange County lots of Thai restaurants. Anaheim (yes disneytown) has Thai markets, but there are plenty of Asian markets around that carry basic Thai staples.

You can also get a satellite and get Thai TV, 1-7 channels depending on cost.

We generally once every couple weeks, go to the Thai, or Viet market to load up on fruits, and other staples not much found in the American markets.

I think in a community with limited Thai connections, unless if your Lady speaks excellent english, she'd get bored.

Good Luck, any info on my area, please feel free to PM me

[Farma]

“I think in a community with limited Thai connections” is very sound advice.

Too much contact with the Thai community and she may find herself being pressured into the gambling and gossip circle.

Too little association and you will find she may be bored and homesick.

Access to Thai food is a must.

[Jockstar]

Guess it depends wht your wife wants. My wife is going to Oz with me a few weeks and i said i can find out about the Thai community there for her. Her words were. Why would i want to go and hang out with Thais all the time? She is more interested in meeting other nationalities. This is not a snobby thing. If anyone who has met me or the wife will realise this. But it makes sense to me. But however if she did meet Thais when out or whatver then no problem. I think she just doesnt want to feel as if she MUST meet Thais.

[Schooner]

some good advice here.

Assuming her visa is approved my fiancee will be comming to the states in about a month. we intend to do some traveling about and exploring the western states. We are also going to be involved in marketing Thai hospitals. She is interested in many things and seems to be able to be flexable and adaptable. She spends a lot of time on her laptop and has a skype setup to her village and her grandparents and her cousins who she is close to.

She has been a student and worked in an electronics factory so I think she appreciates play time as well a work and she wants to cultivate a career. I think the key is to keep her busy and stimulated and have a way for her to stay in touch with friends in Thailand. All her friends have laptops. I want it to be challanging to learn the language (actually she knows english well but needs to practice speaking it) and culture and more importantly business. My five year plan is to have her supporting me by then.

I too have looked into large Thai communities and read about LA and NY both have web sites and she can still access thai websites from the states. She is already pretty westernized it seems so we'll see how things go. I have some flexability to be adaptive and so does she.

[Unknown]

My thai fiance' are in the process of K1 visa application. I now have the oppurtunity to choose where in the U.S. I want to work. My question to all of you married to thais is this: should I move to a place with a large asian community

If there is a Thai community, she will sure like it but I'm not sure you will.

There is an alternative, make her a baby and she will feel fine anywhere if the child is with her.

Edited October 16, 2006 by Unknown

[Thaddeus]

My thai fiance' are in the process of K1 visa application. I now have the oppurtunity to choose where in the U.S. I want to work. My question to all of you married to thais is this: should I move to a place with a large asian community

If there is a Thai community, she will sure like it but I'm not sure you will.

There is an alternative, make her a baby and she will feel fine anywhere if the child is with her.

Splendid advice.

Taken one way.... make her a baby.... out of Lego?

Taken two ways ... make her a baby ..... dress her in diapers and spoon feed her.

Taken three ways.... make her a baby.....what if they don't want children right now.

By all means move to a large Asian community, but it shouldn't make that much difference.... as long as you have access to Asian type foodstuffs and good friends, the nationality of those friends is of very little consequence.

[Unknown]

Taken three ways.... make her a baby.....what if they don't want children right now.

Don't marry her and move abroad with her...

[soic]

I went through the same thing with my Romanian Ex-wife. We married and moved to the U.S. and immediately went to Denver, Colorado. There were very few Romanians there and according to my wife and in-laws, they weren't the "right" kind of Romanians. They asked me to uproot and move to Atlanta, Georgia where they knew some Romanians and there was a larger Romanian community. We moved there and they immediately started making friends and rekindling old friendships. It was great... then they started getting more and more into their Romanian friendships, and I kept getting edged a little farther out. No more asked for advice or my thoughts about what we should do or about taxes and the like. They were learning from the other Romanians, that were mostly there illegally. Then there were the get togethers where it was non-stop Romanian chatter. I know and understand a lot of Romanian, but can't keep up when there's a room full, and they're going 100 mph. I'd hang in there for quite a while, then I'd go watch T.V. After the get together, I'd be berated for being stuck up. I eventually became an outsider in my own home. American ways, ideals and values were crap... Romania was the greatest country in the world, and if Romanians ran America, the world would be a better place. It eventually got to the point that I had to come to Iraq, to find peace.

I'm not saying that the Thai's will be the same, but a total immersion into a Thai culture in America won't allow them the opportunity to adapt to American society. It's a risk... It's good to make sure that she has access to Thai food, Thai people and Thai groups, just not totally absorbed by it. A lot of the Romanian's had learned some bad and often illegal ideals. Their views on taxes and savings drove me nuts. They thought that I was so stupid for paying taxes, and saving money, wasn't saving money unless it was in a jar under the bed or in a regular savings account in the bank, the concept of the 401k was totally lost on them, and I was an idiot, wild spender if I participated in either of those.

Good luck! Just be wary and don't let her get to imbedded into the wrong groups. Oh yeah! And never, never, never let your in-laws move in with you and stay there for 5 years. After 2 years, I was the unwelcome guest, in the home that I purchased. If not for our beautiful daughter, I'd have thrown the lot of them out.