Ex-pat families - places to meet up regularly

[Srinakarin]

I have a 9 year old Thai English lad who has lived in Thailand since the age of 3 and half. Last year something happened that opened my eyes to the fact that I might need to do more to find some places where he can make friends in a more mutli cultural setting.

In short, we left the UK in 2010. At the time he had an English friend who he was not necessarily that close to, but had met up with a dozen times or so. We came to Bangkok and started a new life here. Very quickly he picked up Thai and by the age of 5 he was almost as fluent as most others and seemed pretty happy at his school. As he's got older he seems more and more happy with living here and when I asked him if he'd prefer to go back to England, like me he said he'd rather cut his own arm off, or words to that effect.

Now fluent in Thai and English, he seemed to get on well at school, and looked like the happiest kid in the class.

At the end of last year his old friend from the UK came over. It took a day or so for them to suss out how much they could communicate with each other, but after that they seemed to bond like blood brothers, and not because they were the best of mates 5 years ago. At the end of the holiday, when his mate went back to England, my boy was distraught. He was in floods of tears and when I asked him why, he said that he doesn't have friendships anything like that with the kids in his school. His English is good enough to say that he's just realised that his classmates don't have the character of his old mate and behave like idiots. His words, not mine and he's probably been a bit harsh there.

Now, I don't want to read to much into what happened, nor do I want this to start off any Thai bashing. There may be a number of reasons why he felt so strongly, including the fact that this kid is pretty cool for his age, well behaved, intelligent but at the same time has a lot of character. He's the ideal friend for most kids of that age I'd say. Also, my boy may not have taken the time to try and form friendships with some of the other kids in his school.

The other factor might be that in the UK, it's more common for families to get togther at the weekend and do stuff. Go to the park together, go for a pub lunch, go for a drive, or whatever. People form closer friendships in general I think. Here it seems that it is more common for kids to be sent to extra classes on the weekend - learn maths, learn English, learn dance - or whatever. Friendships are formed around meeting up at a place of study rather than people becoming friends because they relate to each other well. This is a generalisation I know and it is just my thought, not necessarily a fact.

Finally, the school my son goes to is great in many ways. I can't fault it for the most part. However, it's not very multi cultural and so the nature of the school is still very much Thai. There are a number of mixed nationality kids, but their in a small minority.

I want to give my son the chance to go somewhere at the weekend where there is a better chance of regularly meeting with kids from more diverse backgrounds in the hope that he might form a friendship that gives him more of what he's looking for. Again, this is not a criticism of Thai culture, I'm just going on what he's saying. I know of the play areas like Funarium which has a lot of other nationalities, but people are unlikely to be going there week after week I suspect.


Are there any expat communities where people meet up quite often and there is more of a chance of kids becoming friends without it centering around some kind of studying. I just want him enjoy being young without having education forced upon him at the weekend.

I'd be so grateful for any suggestions.

Jessie

[Costas2008]

You are a good father and you have a brilliant son.

Sorry I can't help you here, as I don't live in BKK, but I would like to wish all your family all the Best.

[Srinakarin]

Thank you for your kind words Costas2008. I appreciate you taking the time to reply

All the best to you too

[rgs2001uk]

By your user name I assume you live on Sri Nakarin.

Which end, Bang Na or Bang Kapi?

I can offer two alternatives.

1. Get the boy enrolled in an international school which is mainly expat kids with a sprinkling of Thais.

2. Move to a more expat orientated moo baan.

I appreciate money may be a concern, or travel, either for you getting to and from work, or for the boy geting to and from school.

There are two Thai boys up my way who both attend an international school, their self confidence and the range of subjects they can converse on means, these guys will be headed for decent jobs either in Thailand or overseas.

Compared to their Thai peers, these kids could almost be farang they are leaps and bounds ahead of some of the local kids.

[Srinakarin]

Near the Pattanakarn Srinakarin intersection actually, which I suppose makes us closer to Bang Kapi.

Thanks for the advice and I see your point. The issue is less the educational side of things though and more to do with him having friends that meet his friendship needs. I have considered the International school option, but with two mortgages to pay here, I may not be able to afford the fees at this stage. Also, I've heard that what you get for your money can vary massively. After mortgage payments I am left with around 65k a month to play with which probably means I cant afford an international school unless I sell one of the properties.

Also, I've met some Thai lads in the area at his football club and they go to Thai schools. Some, but not many of them shock me how fluent and knowledgable they are about aspects of other cultures outside of Asia, cost of living, range of opinions including political, etc etc. They've travelled, and even been encouraged by their parents to chat online in English to "educate themselves" if you like. Even more reason that I feel that in many cases, the divide between International school and SOME Thai schools if shrinking quickly. The fees some of these schools charge is even less justified when you see some Thai families finding a way to immerse their kids in a global community without it costing the earth.

Perhaps in a year or so, Ill have a change of heart, but for now he's in a good place academically and in terms of his all round confidence.

Thanks again rgs2001uk

[mogandave]

Holy Redeemer Church?

[Srinakarin]

Hi Mogandave,

Thanks for taking the time to reply. I afraid none of us are religious so we might not fit in.

I appreciate you taking the time to try and help though

Good luck to you

[Smithson]

I can really relate to this. We have just returned from visiting my family in Melbourne. We have three kids, girls 10 and 8 and a 13 yr old boy. They really enjoyed the time away and made some good friends. One thing I noticed is how games etc. for kids in Aust have a large educational part, whereas in Thailand it seems to be purely for fun (maybe that's the reason for all the weekend study?).

It seems that in Thailand there is not much emphasis on helping kids form freindships. Parents don't seem to have other kids over for the afternoon or to stay over.

Do you have a car? I've sent you a PM.

[p_brownstone]

It's not really near you but you might like to look at the British Club - http://www.britishclubbangkok.org/ - despite the name it is now a much more multi-cultural Club than it used to be.

They have a Pool and other facilities and hold several different events at various times.

Another - unfortunately more expensive - option might be the Polo Club, a branch of the Royal Bangkok Sports Club - http://www.rbsc.org/ (membership of the main Club is full with a long waiting list, however joining the Polo Club is much easier).

Patrick

Edited April 18, 2015 by p_brownstone

[CWMcMurray]

Not too far from you ... In Lat Krabang... 7 yr old duaghter and 5 yr old son..

Agree.. Not too much have found around here either..

[Srinakarin]

Patrick,

Thanks for your reply. If the Polo club is more expensive than the British club, it's way out of my league. The British club looks just about affordable, and I'm toying with the idea. I appreciate you taking the time to give me ideas.

All the best

[Srinakarin]

Hi CWMcMurray,

Yes, I know. I took the airport link from Hua Mark to Lat Krabang recently. It seems like a very quiet area.

I had a breakthough with my boy when I bought him a PS3 gaqme system last month though. Now he's speaking english through a mic earpiece while playing and made friends in Norway and Spain. They might not be face to face friends, but they're planning gaming strategies together, negotiating roles, and forming some kind of friendship albeit probably temporary. His confidence has grown massively. If I let him use it in moderation and under supervision it will continue to help him. Next step is to find game players in Thailand his age who could meet up from time to time.

It wont take over though. If it sucks him in too much, I'll cut the plug off.