Why are western man so unhappy in thailand

[pigeonjake]

before i moved here, my friend who still lives here, used to say to me when you live here youll see a different thailand, i could never understand what he ment,

well i do now,, yes i still love it here and as many know im happy here with my lot,

but saying this, things do piss me off, dosnt make me unhappy with thailand, i just look and shake my head,

the thing thats bugging me at the moment is, thais not taking trollys back and leaving them all over the car park at tescos, they wont walk 5 yards to take it back, just leave it at the front of the car,

but this is just me having a moan, dosnt meen i dont like living here, and i think a lot of other posters do the same just have a moan about the odd thing or 5,

there are a lot of us here very happy,

[Jip99]

Title should read "Why are western MEN are so unhappy in Thailand."

We are not unhappy, (Wrong choice of words) we are just fed up with the lame brain way of doing things.

Also the lack of respect of one another. Behind the wheel they do not show any form of curtsy on the road.

In the parking lots, they just push their carts behind another car, and in the parking lot, not thinking of returning it back to the store.

They don't understand the right of way in intersections with no traffic lights. They cut in front of you not thinking about your reaction time on the breaks. The light turns red, and still, five or six cars try to make it across the intersection. They try to park in a spot 5.9 feet wide, and their vehicle is 6 feet wide.

They don't know how to push a cart in the store. They don't understand the flow of grocery stores and try to push a cart against the flow of shoppers. They have no concern of others, by stepping to the side, so that other pedestrians can pass them by, Or they simply stop walking unaware of those behind them. Self centered people, that think of themselves and not others around them, while walking or driving a two wheel or four wheel vehicle.

No we are not unhappy, just waiting for the Thais to wake-up and join the civilized world and the way doing things! Or is it just an Asian perceptive of life, in China it is even worse than here.

so its not like your country, is that the problem? sounds like culture shock to me danny boy.

avoid india at all costs

It is not about culture.

Culture cant fix stupid so there is no need to be an apologist for the idiotic things that happen here.

That said, the good points here far outweigh these 'idiosyncrasies' and I, for one, would be far less happy in my home country. There is no excuse, in my opinion, for not being happy in Thailand but it does not mean that everything is perfect.

I shall certainly avoid India at all costs.

[notbkk]

Because the majority of them are a bunch of old farts who think that because they are white and Western, Thailand owes them something and should adapt to THEIR needs and standards. They should all bugger off back where they came from...

[NanLaew]

As I see it, the OP has the dual benefits of not living in LOS full-time and the ability to understand the language.

Some people posting here seem very unhappy about that and consider that his opinions are mostly based on inexperience and lack of knowledge.

I am not sure of the complex farang demographic that constitutes the TV membership. However, I do have 5 farang friends in LOS that have been here for the better part of over 25 years. Four are married and one is divorced (but living with). All are either working or semi-retired. Like myself, four of them travel outside Thailand at least once a year, either on business or pleasure. These four guys also have a working knowledge of the local language. The fifth one hasn't even seen the inside of Suvarnhabumi airport or a border crossing and doesn't even try to speak the lingo.

Spot the grumpy one?

If you are really good, spot the divorced one?

[SoiBiker]

Call me a cynic, but I'm not convinced the OP's linguistic skills are quite what he makes them out to be.

[NoshowJones]

Interesting to see that someone who's come here on holiday a few times has the whole place figured out.

You are what I maen you read some thing here witch is good about thailand and you have to have a go at me how in the hell would you know if I come here on holiday who told you that not me in my 6 years of coming to thailand I have live here for 4 of them so now tell me again I have not figured thailand out .

"how in the hell would you know if I come here on holiday who told you that"

It was rather spelt out, by you, when you said things like "I have been coming and going to thailand for the pass 6 years" and "But I still love coming to thailand" and "when I first started coming here was to go home". I guess that English isn't your first language, and you didn't say you were now living here, in the OP.

Why does that matter ? Perhaps because the experience of living here, rather than just visiting for short periods, gives a very different perspective, which is reflected in the way posters view the country.

Most of us view the country positively, most of the time, which is why we're still happily living here ! Just like yourself, in fact !

But in learning to understand the differences, or coping with frustration over some of the oddities of the culture and life here, people do sometimes need to 'let off steam'. And TV is an excellent place to do that, you'll often learn (if not always agree with) why 'they' do things the way that they do, please remember that many posters are stuck in small villages & just need to get something 'off their chest'.

This may well be you, after you've married & had a family & built a house in Ban Nawk, and gotten past the first few years of full-time residence, with the usual Immigration problems understood & settled, and her family has gotten used to you & your funny farang ways !

Posters on TV do mostly love the country, as you still do, that's why we stay !

A great post Ricardo, I agree with everything you have said, sums up this topic perfectly.

[NoshowJones]

Trouble is all you hear are the bad stories those of us that are perfectly happy here don't post stories on tv

Not necessary, I am perfectly happy here, and have mentioned it quite a lot here on TV, as have plenty of others.

There are a lot of posters who are proud and happy to admit they are happy here.

[GuestHouse]

Another thread about 'Thai Bashers' (individuals who never actually seem to be identified).

To 'Attractions of life in Thailand' please add 'constantly grinding one's dentures over other expats expressing opinions you don't want to hear'.

[does]

You prove my point - ironically by your own admission.

1 - You seem to imply that the country where you come from has no prostitution and no corruption. Which country do you come from?

2 - I did not say Thais feel superior to foreigners. I said many (not all) foreigners feel superior to Thais. Having more money and a better educating makes you not "superior", at least not morally.

3 - Thais make their own laws, just like the Americans, the Japanese and the German. Is that OK with you? Tough luck for those who gripe about Thailand but are really eager to live and work here...

As an aside, in most western countries, "democratic values" have replaced religion, complete with the missionary seal. I am all for human rights, but if you are without sin...

How many Western "democratic countries" have waged war outside their own border in the past 50 years? How many democratic countries have seen a dramatic increase in inequality in the past 30 years? Isn't that ironic? Waging war and increasing inequality is apparent the will of the "people" who democratically elect governments who are responsible for these policies.

Dear George,

There seems to be several reason:

1 - Many foreigners complaining about the country judge Thailand on the basis of their own values

2 - Many foreigners feel superior to Thais (wich really means they are on some level inferior)

3 - Many (retired) foreigners have not much else to do but gripe about Thailand (many of them are on TV)

When you ask them why they are here, you rarely get a coherent answer. The same when you tell them they are free to leave for another country.

It's a bit like people complaining about traffic jams. These are invariably people driving cars themselves.

Cheers

1. Yes, I judge corruption and prostitution by western values. I wouldn't sell my daughters as sex toys.

2. Most foreigners have an education and money Vs most Thais didn't attend high school and live day to day.

(Although the stats are hidden, easy enough to work out less than 20% of Thais ever attended high school)

In what what do you feel the majority of Thais are superior to the majority of foreigners in Thailand?

3. Thai law restricts foreigners from working, in any civilized country this isn't the case (for spouse of citizen).

[NoshowJones]

Good you understand the Thai people now explain it to us.

Thanks a great rosy post

Thanks, I understand them from my eyes and you will have to understand them from your eyes not mine .

I don't know many western men who are unhappy with thailand, but then again I keep away from the bad mouths who would even bad mouth their own country. they just live to feel sad, mad and unhappy and they can do that anywhere. just keep away from them so it don'trub off!

Is that right? I'm a very happy guy, but I will always badmouth the UK, and the answer is simple. The bad far outweighs the

good in the overcrowded UK, while here in Thailand, the good far outweighs the bad.

[robertthebruce]

I have no GRIPE with ''Thailand'' or with ''Thai People''

My only GRIPE is the Driving its so so dangerous its not a pleasure to drive here..

apart from that.. i AM HAPPY WITH MY LOT.. 5 STAR LIVING FOR 1 STAR PRICE... THATS ME...

[lovelomsak]

To state western men are unhappy here is a very broad generalization. You could pick anywhere in the world and ask the same question.Why are Blacks unhappy in southern States. Why are New York cabbies unhappy etc. Happiness is a state of mind and individual,such questions simple baffles me.

[Johnny S]

Good you understand the Thai people now explain it to us.

Thanks a great rosy post

Wish the tourist could explain why expats should love thaipeople but dont think he can - there is just too many Things not to like about them

[NoshowJones]

Title should read "Why are western MEN are so unhappy in Thailand."

We are not unhappy, (Wrong choice of words) we are just fed up with the lame brain way of doing things.

Also the lack of respect of one another. Behind the wheel they do not show any form of curtsy on the road.

In the parking lots, they just push their carts behind another car, and in the parking lot, not thinking of returning it back to the store.

They don't understand the right of way in intersections with no traffic lights. They cut in front of you not thinking about your reaction time on the breaks. The light turns red, and still, five or six cars try to make it across the intersection. They try to park in a spot 5.9 feet wide, and their vehicle is 6 feet wide.

They don't know how to push a cart in the store. They don't understand the flow of grocery stores and try to push a cart against the flow of shoppers. They have no concern of others, by stepping to the side, so that other pedestrians can pass them by, Or they simply stop walking unaware of those behind them. Self centered people, that think of themselves and not others around them, while walking or driving a two wheel or four wheel vehicle.

No we are not unhappy, just waiting for the Thais to wake-up and join the civilized world and the way doing things! Or is it just an Asian perceptive of life, in China it is even worse than here.

Only one thing, you have no right to come into this country and expect everyone to do as you do, it's a completely different culture altogether.

I used to gripe at Thai people for jumping queues, but now when they do it in front of me, I say nothing, but I spread my arm right across the front of them

to stop them.

[empireboy]

Try not to listen to the small-minded here. They're just bored ogres who would steal candy from a baby. I like Thailand, and like you, found it easy to understand. On most forums like this one, the bashers always speak the most often, loudest and are the most verbose.

Thank you for a dignified and humane comment. It's a shame the disrespectful carry-on of the rest is so prevalent.

It reminds me of ISIS and what I don't like about it.

[NoshowJones]

Because the majority of them are a bunch of old farts who think that because they are white and Western, Thailand owes them something and should adapt to THEIR needs and standards. They should all bugger off back where they came from...

That is exactly what I used to say about a certain faith when I lived in the UK.

[NanLaew]

As I see it, the OP has the dual benefits of not living in LOS full-time and the ability to understand the language.

Some people posting here seem very unhappy about that and consider that his opinions are mostly based on inexperience and lack of knowledge.

I am not sure of the complex farang demographic that constitutes the TV membership. However, I do have 5 farang friends in LOS that have been here for the better part of over 25 years. Four are married and one is divorced (but living with). All are either working or semi-retired. Like myself, four of them travel outside Thailand at least once a year, either on business or pleasure. These four guys also have a working knowledge of the local language. The fifth one hasn't even seen the inside of Suvarnhabumi airport or a border crossing and doesn't even try to speak the lingo.

Spot the grumpy one?

If you are really good, spot the divorced one?

Quiz extended.... see below.

Call me a cynic, but I'm not convinced the OP's linguistic skills are quite what he makes them out to be.

And you are really, really good if you can spot the cynical one?

[Monkeyrobot]

I thought April fools was yesterday, this guy is just geeing you TV members up.

[claffey]

Oh god tourists who think they figured it all out.. living here is different as coming on a holiday to a country. Anyone not understanding that is just wasting internet space.

I moan and bitch like the best of them, I did the same back home. There is no perfect place and there are always things to complain about or not to like. The longer you are somewhere the more you see the bad sides. When I came here as a tourist or just moved here everything was perfect. Now its just like any other place with good and bad things.

If I don't like it here i leave, but I like it here so I comment on things I don't like. But the majority of things is good here. Anyone knows that people are more likely to write about something gone wrong or something they don't like then happy stories.

Well instead of moaning about all the bad stuff why don't you post about all the positive experiences that you have??????

[Cat ji]

I have no GRIPE with ''Thailand'' or with ''Thai People''

My only GRIPE is the Driving its so so dangerous its not a pleasure to drive here..

i understand what was said about avoiding India, but i suggest you spend some time in India, drive in a city, drive on some windy country roads with trucks, then go back to Thailand.

Or you could come with me to South Africa for a few weeks. The driving is not idiotic like India, but i'll show you why, in some areas, you shouldn't pull off when the light goes green, like minibus taxis coming through at 80km/h. Never mind the hijackings - although it happens a few times each day, only about one a week does the driver get shot.

[MaeJoMTB]

Well instead of moaning about all the bad stuff why don't you post about all the positive experiences that you have??????

The hookers are great and very reasonably priced.

[Shiver]

I guess it's like watching the news. The happy stuff doesn't get reported.

[kannot]

Try not to listen to the small-minded here. They're just bored ogres who would steal candy from a baby. I like Thailand, and like you, found it easy to understand. On most forums like this one, the bashers always speak the most often, loudest and are the most verbose.

Thank you for a dignified and humane comment. It's a shame the disrespectful carry-on of the rest is so prevalent.

It reminds me of ISIS and what I don't like about it.

ISIS and TVF members one and the same? incredible!!

[does]

A bit off-topic, but there are many things not to like about Theo van Gogh too. Let me know if you want me to list a few of them.

If you can think of too many things not to like about the Thais, I hope for you that you are not living here...

Good you understand the Thai people now explain it to us.

Thanks a great rosy post

Wish the tourist could explain why expats should love thaipeople but dont think he can - there is just too many Things not to like about them

[Rumblecat]

People are unhappy for a number of reasons. Wrong friends, no friends, feelings of isolation, disconnection from the culture, financial problems, romantic problems, lifestyle problems, a creeping feeling of dread that life has passed them by and every day just takes them closer and closer to the grave, the eternal nothingness, the void, the end of everything with so little to show for it. Or just good old fashioned boredom and routine.

Also there's a huge difference between visiting somewhere and living somewhere. Visiting always feels like a holiday. Living doesn't. I see from your other posts you have regular long breaks between visits here, that you like to frequent 'adult entertainment' zones when you're here- so surely you can answer your own question- when is a vacation not a vacation.

Which of course doesn't mean everyone who lives here is unhappy. Also I'm not sure the OP isn't just on the wind up- a lot of those spelling errors seem pretty forced to me. Using 'wright' for 'right' for example. It's gilding the lily a wee bit much

[Cypress Hill]

OP can't even speak English let alone Thai.

Pure troll in the mould of Whereustay

[jimky]

Most are probably unhappy because the cultural differences are massive.

In my case I think I understand and accept or agree with the bulk of those, have integrated about as far as I can go thus far, but I can't say "I love Thailand". To me it is just home. Also even though I can read and write Thai, have many friends, can laugh and joke with them etc. I'm always going to be viewed as a second class citizen here. It is reduced some by having decent social circle, but if you end up with relationship / family here you'll just have to wait and see. Out and about every now and then (frequent enough) run into people that make fun of me saying all sorts of things assuming I can't understand them while smiling and giggling. It might come off as friendly if don't know better. I just deal with this. Whatever.

So cultural differences (which I don't even touch on in this post), and being a minority in a racist society can make someone unhappy easy enough.

Then there are also others that keep mostly only fellow farang as friends and mostly end up dealing with idiots, or a holes. I don't mean this disrespectfully to anyone on an individual level, but on average, it is not the best group of people that end up migrating here.

Edited April 2, 2015 by jimky

[thejcb]

Because they sell their houses in their home country, move here and try to become a sort of a 'resident'.

After a while, they realise they are living in an oven with very little to do except drink beer and talk utter drivel to tarts in bars.

They have "burnt their bridges" and would find it very difficult to return to their homeland.

That is why they are unhappy !

[elgordo38]

It was all my fault. I married Attila the Hun born into the body of an angry walrus.

It made me sad.

Although I live here full time the best scenario is to do a 6 and 6. 6 here and 6 at home. I have met a wonderful Thai lady and would not enter this lifestyle just to make me happy and her sad. At our age it is hard not to make comparisons in culture. I fell into that trap after spending 10 years in Mexico. I am 77 now and find myself getting more cranky as I age. Each culture has its good and bad features. Here I find the people very nice but the quality of everything I buy is lousy. Every 2 years Its almost like a complete household makeover. I find the taxi's hard to understand but then they are a lot cheaper than at home. I find the government way of doing things here funny but then I find my own government (and all governments crooked) Sooo it all boils down to aging and becoming less tolerant well in my case anyways. I do not wish to return home so I will try to learn more tolerance at my advanced age till I reach life's finish line. Although I am 77 now and in good health I often wonder where all the years have gone but enough of that time to enjoy the day I woke up alive and that is all that matters.

[MaeJoMTB]

, but I can't say "I love Thailand". To me it is just home. Also even though I can read and write Thai, have many friends, can laugh and joke with them etc. I'm always going to be viewed as a second class citizen here.

Of course it isn't home, you have a right to stay in your home, but no right to stay in Thailand at all.

Always amazed by foreigners who want to think Thailand is their home.

No it isn't.

PS

Nobody views you as a second class citizen.

You aren't any class of Thai citizen.

Edited April 2, 2015 by MaeJoMTB