Why are western man so unhappy in thailand

[yellowboat]

Third generation to live in Thailand. Have had too much success with individuals in both red and yellow camps to be anything other than happy. Disagree with what is happening now politically, but that does not effect individual relationships. Been working with Thai artists and engineers for a six years, and I appreciate their patience and, yes, honestly. In turn, they have shown me nothing but trust. Been ripped off, sure, but mostly from the wealthy, elite institutions or the corrupt. Lessons learned. Have a lot of respect for the average Thai.

Sadly, for some, it is "destination Thailand" and they do not travel in the region. If you put all your faith in place or one person, you are bound for disappointment.

[BudRight]

Since you're 'not quite 12' maybe you should wait a few years before you wind up the forums.

[gk10002000]

Well, 14 trips on I still love the place. Have stayed up to two months in country contiguously. Love the girls, love the food, thai and falang, outdoor stuff, some fine beaches, love the girls, foot massage, oil massage, occasional soapy massage, the girls, some fun clubs, architecture, Buddhism, the girls. The place is a great get away. But the emptiness is rarely being able to talk in depth to most Thais. Combination of language barrier, educational backgrounds, and of course some cultural things. I am an engineer and get bored. Not a bad thing being bored and being able to afford it. But that is why I just haven't made the retirement jump to there. I enjoy much of the USA. So California weather is nice. My Florida beaches are next to my home and I love the warm water. I like to play poker and visit a casino now and then. So at the moment, I try to balance contractor work with time off in Thailand.

[puukao]

I am not unhappy!!!!! So sick of this thread!!! I hate all this negativity!!!! This makes me sick!!!!! I love it here!!!!! Quit doing these posts!!! Where is my beer!!!!! Get me a cold beer!!!!

(after 11 hours of zen therapy at the nearest wat)

zzzzzzzzzzzzz. Now i am at peace with the world, love everyone, all my friendly TFV friends.......life is good, i love this tree, this fish, bird......lol

[Pinot]

Some of the people are happy wherever they are. Some of the people are unhappy wherever they are. Some of the people feel a need to write about how happy or unhappy they are. ​

[joshstiles]

Just a question for "Sir KnowAllThailand"....when you come here for your many many visits....how long do you stay? Why do you come? Is Thailand "better" than "your" country?

Hint for you guru....visiting a place in no way allows you to intimately know it....try removing the rose tinted specs.

personal note: thailand is as screwed up as any other country...they just use different screws....thai screws and nobody understands how to use them.

can you smell me now?

[SoiBiker]

Screws?

They probably use nails and sticky tape.

[captspectre]

Good you understand the Thai people now explain it to us.

Thanks a great rosy post

Thanks, I understand them from my eyes and you will have to understand them from your eyes not mine .

I don't know many western men who are unhappy with thailand, but then again I keep away from the bad mouths who would even bad mouth their own country. they just live to feel sad, mad and unhappy and they can do that anywhere. just keep away from them so it don'trub off!

[maximillian]

Interesting to see that someone who's come here on holiday a few times has the whole place figured out.

You are what I maen you read some thing here witch is good about thailand and you have to have a go at me how in the hell would you know if I come here on holiday who told you that not me in my 6 years of coming to thailand I have live here for 4 of them so now tell me again I have not figured thailand out .

"how in the hell would you know if I come here on holiday who told you that"

It was rather spelt out, by you, when you said things like "I have been coming and going to thailand for the pass 6 years" and "But I still love coming to thailand" and "when I first started coming here was to go home". I guess that English isn't your first language, and you didn't say you were now living here, in the OP.

Why does that matter ? Perhaps because the experience of living here, rather than just visiting for short periods, gives a very different perspective, which is reflected in the way posters view the country.

Most of us view the country positively, most of the time, which is why we're still happily living here ! Just like yourself, in fact !

But in learning to understand the differences, or coping with frustration over some of the oddities of the culture and life here, people do sometimes need to 'let off steam'. And TV is an excellent place to do that, you'll often learn (if not always agree with) why 'they' do things the way that they do, please remember that many posters are stuck in small villages & just need to get something 'off their chest'.

This may well be you, after you've married & had a family & built a house in Ban Nawk, and gotten past the first few years of full-time residence, with the usual Immigration problems understood & settled, and her family has gotten used to you & your funny farang ways !

Posters on TV do mostly love the country, as you still do, that's why we stay !

Best comment so far. I fully agree.

[StefanBBK]

Very good post. Thanks Ricardo!

Edited April 2, 2015 by StefanBBK

[does]

Dear George,

There seems to be several reason:

1 - Many foreigners complaining about the country judge Thailand on the basis of their own values

2 - Many foreigners feel superior to Thais (wich really means they are on some level inferior)

3 - Many (retired) foreigners have not much else to do but gripe about Thailand (many of them are on TV)

When you ask them why they are here, you rarely get a coherent answer. The same when you tell them they are free to leave for another country.

It's a bit like people complaining about traffic jams. These are invariably people driving cars themselves.

Cheers

[kannot]

Some of the people are happy wherever they are. Some of the people are unhappy wherever they are. Some of the people feel a need to write about how happy or unhappy they are. ​

Some people are neither unhappy or happy.

[umbanda]

That is a f.... generalization!

I believe that most western men are very happy in Thailand.....but probably not most of the ones in here.

Why? Because to be looking at TV and Thaivisa for hours is a distraction for bored people. And...to be bored...is to be unhappy in any country. Unfortunately..it is also my problem.

The only unhappy thing about Thailand for me at 70, is to be unable to work, even volunteering part time, without a work permit, etc, etc., and without taking the risk to get in trouble.

Ohhh well. Nothing can be perfect, even in Paradise.

Edited April 2, 2015 by umbanda

[kannot]

Dear George,

There seems to be several reason:

1 - Many foreigners complaining about the country judge Thailand on the basis of their own values

2 - Many foreigners feel superior to Thais (wich really means they are on some level inferior)

3 - Many (retired) foreigners have not much else to do but gripe about Thailand (many of them are on TV)

When you ask them why they are here, you rarely get a coherent answer. The same when you tell them they are free to leave for another country.

It's a bit like people complaining about traffic jams. These are invariably people driving cars themselves.

Cheers

4. many see Thailand for what it is

5 I value life its apparent some dont is my value wrong?

The car driving is not a good analogy its the way its driven, if Thais were more polite when driving and instead of pushing to the front of a mile long queue then forcing their way in the queue would not be so long as they force others to stop is just one example.

[MaeJoMTB]

Dear George,

There seems to be several reason:

1 - Many foreigners complaining about the country judge Thailand on the basis of their own values

2 - Many foreigners feel superior to Thais (wich really means they are on some level inferior)

3 - Many (retired) foreigners have not much else to do but gripe about Thailand (many of them are on TV)

When you ask them why they are here, you rarely get a coherent answer. The same when you tell them they are free to leave for another country.

It's a bit like people complaining about traffic jams. These are invariably people driving cars themselves.

Cheers

1. Yes, I judge corruption and prostitution by western values. I wouldn't sell my daughters as sex toys.

2. Most foreigners have an education and money Vs most Thais didn't attend high school and live day to day.

(Although the stats are hidden, easy enough to work out less than 20% of Thais ever attended high school)

In what what do you feel the majority of Thais are superior to the majority of foreigners in Thailand?

3. Thai law restricts foreigners from working, in any civilized country this isn't the case (for spouse of citizen).

Edited April 2, 2015 by MaeJoMTB

[JDGRUEN]

OP

I think your assertion that Western Men in Thailand are unhappy... some are - some aren't - many in-between, many are content like me... Life is good..

In short I do not think you have any idea as to what you are talking about... but 'know it alls' abound.

[arminbkk]

That is what I mean you get on here wright some thing good about thailand and all people out there have a go at me well as my good thai friends would say up to you

What exactly is that something good that you wrote about Thailand??

I read your OP twice and did not spot it.

[Eaglekott]

The name for this topic is wrong. "Why are western man so unhappy in thailand", Should be "Why is a fraction of all western men in Thailand unhappy"

[searcherkind666]

IV Been coming to Thailand for 15 years every winter , married 10 years to thai woman and enjoying life , Thailand is as advertised and amazing country with wonderful people and customs .

[arminbkk]

I am not an unhappy Western man in Thailand, but I am not at the other end, i.e. very happy, either.

When I first came to Thailand it felt like home, literally.

Now, 13 years later having lived and worked here over 7 years, I have a different view of the place.

Why? Because I know more about it.

And one does not have to immerse oneself until one is Thaier than Thai to learn more about Thailand.

One just has to keep his eyes open and look, yes look not gaze, follow the news, have some Thai friends,

and one will learn more about Thailand, not just stay on the surface, see the reality of the place.

And no, it does not get prettier the deeper one goes.

I am basically just disappointed with Thailand. It is not the place it was 13 years ago.

Thai society, particularly the attitude of the Thai people has changed. Even Thais say this!

People that talk about how wonderful this place is, how lovely and friendly the Thai people are etc etc,

they just have those rose coloured glasses or contacts glued on.

I wish I had a pair.

[Daniel Ingalls]

Title should read "Why are western MEN are so unhappy in Thailand."

We are not unhappy, (Wrong choice of words) we are just fed up with the lame brain way of doing things.

Also the lack of respect of one another. Behind the wheel they do not show any form of curtsy on the road.

In the parking lots, they just push their carts behind another car, and in the parking lot, not thinking of returning it back to the store.

They don't understand the right of way in intersections with no traffic lights. They cut in front of you not thinking about your reaction time on the breaks. The light turns red, and still, five or six cars try to make it across the intersection. They try to park in a spot 5.9 feet wide, and their vehicle is 6 feet wide.

They don't know how to push a cart in the store. They don't understand the flow of grocery stores and try to push a cart against the flow of shoppers. They have no concern of others, by stepping to the side, so that other pedestrians can pass them by, Or they simply stop walking unaware of those behind them. Self centered people, that think of themselves and not others around them, while walking or driving a two wheel or four wheel vehicle.

No we are not unhappy, just waiting for the Thais to wake-up and join the civilized world and the way doing things! Or is it just an Asian perceptive of life, in China it is even worse than here.

Edited April 2, 2015 by Daniel Ingalls

[SoiBiker]

Of course things have changed over 13 years. The same would be true of pretty much anywhere. Odd reason to criticise a place.

[spunkie]

Should have study English not thai

[gudtymchuk]

It would be a very boring forum if every thread, post and re-post was to lament a perfectly rosy Thailand...... By the way, please explain how being ripped off or scammed is somehow, the victims fault? It has always been my understanding that stealing and scamming is a crime even in your wonderful Thai world.

[i claudius]

Whoes unhappy ? ime as happy as a pig in poo.

[seajae]

it appears that if anyone dares to see a fault in Thailand they dont like living here , this is a great country to live in but it does have its faults, most of which are caused by the attitudes of people not the country itself. Corruption is rife, police are not trustworthy and simply do not do their job, govt agencies are usually well behind the times in their thinking and the laws regarding certain aspects of life are very backward etc. This does not mean that westerners dont like being here though, I love where I live, all our friends are great, the majority of locals I meet are nice and I enjoy travelling to other parts of Thailand to see it but if I see something wrong I will talk about it. Most thais are probably like my wife, they do not want to rock the boat, while this may be good for some it also promotes the same crap to continue because no one is prepared to say anything, if I see something I know is not right or fair to other thais I will say something especially when the others are being ripped off. Doesnt matter how much we love it here if we see something that is simply wrong would you rather ignore it to keep your rose coloured glasses working or say something so that others are aware of it, I know I care more about what happens to others than having a false sense of paradise

[HooHaa]

Interesting to see that someone who's come here on holiday a few times has the whole place figured out.

the OP says that speaking thai helps him to understand thai people, which to me makes perfect sense - i could not understand what they were on about until I learned some thai as well.

what confuses me is your understanding of the OP - where does he say he has it all figured out.

i think the question is valid, if so many here clearly do not like the place nor the peolpe, why persist?

Edited April 2, 2015 by HooHaa

[HooHaa]

Title should read "Why are western MEN are so unhappy in Thailand."

We are not unhappy, (Wrong choice of words) we are just fed up with the lame brain way of doing things.

Also the lack of respect of one another. Behind the wheel they do not show any form of curtsy on the road.

In the parking lots, they just push their carts behind another car, and in the parking lot, not thinking of returning it back to the store.

They don't understand the right of way in intersections with no traffic lights. They cut in front of you not thinking about your reaction time on the breaks. The light turns red, and still, five or six cars try to make it across the intersection. They try to park in a spot 5.9 feet wide, and their vehicle is 6 feet wide.

They don't know how to push a cart in the store. They don't understand the flow of grocery stores and try to push a cart against the flow of shoppers. They have no concern of others, by stepping to the side, so that other pedestrians can pass them by, Or they simply stop walking unaware of those behind them. Self centered people, that think of themselves and not others around them, while walking or driving a two wheel or four wheel vehicle.

No we are not unhappy, just waiting for the Thais to wake-up and join the civilized world and the way doing things! Or is it just an Asian perceptive of life, in China it is even worse than here.

so its not like your country, is that the problem? sounds like culture shock to me danny boy.

avoid india at all costs

[mauGR1]

Happiness is a state of mind, normally, when i happen to be there, i start to worry... As everything is temporary, it can only get worse.

Being able to choose, i prefer a state of moderate pessimism

[SoiBiker]

Interesting to see that someone who's come here on holiday a few times has the whole place figured out.

the OP says that speaking thai helps him to understand thai people, which to me makes perfect sense - i could not understand what they were on about until I learned some thai as well.

what confuses me is your understanding of the OP - where does he say he has it all figured out.

i think the question is valid, if so many here clearly do not like the place nor the peolpe, why persist?

Understanding the OP is certainly an issue, yes.

I agree, it's a valid question - one I've asked myself in the past.