And Now For Something Completely Different

[niteowl]

A newspaper reporter was sitting in a park in Manchester, idly watching a man and his wife play with their new baby. Suddenly, an enormous dog, a Tibetan Mastiff, bounds over the ground, obviously intent on attacking the young family. Thinking quickly, a young man sitting on a bench nearby pulls off his belt, and intercepts the dog. Furious, the dog turns his attack on the would-be rescuer. They fall to the ground, amid growls and snarls and grunts, their flailing arms and legs raising dust.

And as suddenly as it began, it's over. The young man rises to his feet, the 100 kg dog dead at his feet.

The reporter rushed over to him. "That is the most amazing act I have ever witnessed! You must let me write an article about it for my paper."

Breathing heavily, the young man assents. The reporter takes out a pad, and writes a headline:

Fearless Man U Fan Rescues Family From Rampaging Beast

Watching over his shoulder, the young man says, "Excuse me. I'm not a Man U fan."

"Oh, sorry, my fault," says the reporter. "I should have enquired first." He erases that headline, and writes another:

Fearless Man City Fan Rescues Family From Rampaging Beast

The young man protests again, "No, you've mistaken me. I'm from Liverpool."

"Oh, sorry. Silly of me really. I'll start over," the reporter says. This time, he writes:

Mad Scouser Murders Family Pet

[Mr Jones]

[suegha]

Being an 'adopted' scouser I can really appreciate this! Made me laugh too!

[In the Rai!]

Leave the liverpudlians alone!

meanies..